


Intertwined

by kykythealmostguy



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 110,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kykythealmostguy/pseuds/kykythealmostguy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A freshman in college, Gabrielle meets Xena, a senior and star soccer player, but she feels strangely drawn to her. The attraction is mutual, and after some sleuthing on Xena's part, she discovers that they are the reincarnated souls of the Warrior Princess and Battling Bard. This revelation awakens powerful forces, turning Xena and Gabrielle's lives upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Familiar Beginnings

          Gabrielle walked down the street to her dorm room, hands in her pockets and head down against the wind. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed one of the huge banners that hung down from the archway of the Stratis University stadium. “LET’S GO GLADIATORS” it proclaimed in large capital letters, and Gabrielle decided definitively that she’d never go to a football game; crowds and raucous noise just weren’t her thing, and a big, intimidating mascot like a gladiator made her even more wary of sporting events. She was close enough to see her dorm now, and she focused on it instead of the huge building behind her. What she didn’t notice was the group of football players that had emerged from the archway, and had trained their sights on her.  
  
          Agile for men of their size, they increased their pace until they had nearly caught up with her, then finally one of them loosed a cry, “hey, baby! What are you doing tonight?”  
  
          She winced, fighting the urges to run or turn around. _Just act normal,_ she told herself, _they’ll go away._ Her plan immediately displayed signs of failure when the three men quickened their paces.  
  
          “Hey, I’m talking to you!” A different one shouted, “you don’t have to be so rude!”  
  
          Gabrielle’s heart raced and she started walking faster, fear creeping into her mind.  
  
          “Slow down, beautiful, I’m just trying to talk to you!” The snickers of the jocks, now in hot pursuit, made it clear that that was not at all their intention. Her flight response foiled, she decided it was time to fight.  
  
          She stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around to face them. “Leave me alone!” she growled, scowling but trembling with fear, hoping she sounded tougher than she felt. Any hope she had of fighting them off disappeared when she finally saw her pursuers: They all stood at at least six feet tall, a massive advantage compared to her five foot four inches. As if that weren’t enough, they were all enormously muscular- clearly members of the football team.  
  
          They surrounded her, reeking of sweat and whatever cologne they had tried to use to cover it. Sneering at her, the largest of them stepping forward towards her. “You know, I’ll forgive you for walking away- gave me more time to... appreciate your beauty.” He smirked at the other two players, “if you know what I mean.”  
  
          Her blood boiled with rage as the men chuckled but any actions were stilled by fear; she didn’t know what they had in mind and was certain that whatever it was, there was nothing she could do about it.  
  
          “Don’t look so nervous”, the seemingly more extroverted one said, “we don’t want to hurt you.” He looked her up and down. “But by the looks of you this might hurt. Tell me, sweetheart: have you ever had a big-”.  
  
          His words were cut off as something slammed into his face out of nowhere, making his nose bleed and his eyes water.  
  
          “Shit, man!” his goons yelled, “what the fuck was that?” Gabrielle flinched, dazed but wondering the same thing, and looked at the object at her feet: a soccer ball.  
  
          She looked over her shoulder in the direction from which the ball had come, and she saw a woman sprinting headlong towards her. Within seconds she was by her side and Gabrielle got a closer look.  
  
          She was tall, _very_ tall, like an Amazon of ancient myth, and her skin was tan, as if she spent all her time in the sun. Her dark hair cascaded down her back, straight-across bangs covering her forehead, and in a gold-coloured tank top and shorts, her well-muscled arms and legs were exposed. Her powerful stance made Gabrielle feel incredibly small, and she instinctively shuffled behind the strange woman who seemed poised to protect her. She was a striking figure, emphasized by her pale blue eyes, directed coldly at the three football players.  
  
          “What the hell, lady?” the tallest player cried, shocked.  
  
          As she spoke, her words were slow and deliberate, as if she were disguising an accent, as well as coated with irony. “I’m terribly sorry. I was just practicing my shot on the pitch down there.” She jerked her head to the left without breaking eye contact. “You know how windy it’s been lately. I overshot and the wind just carried it even further up. How unfortunate it was for you to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Gabrielle was almost certain that her words had nothing to do with the jock’s position in the parking lot.  
  
          The men stared at the woman, trying to disguise the fear in their eyes.  
  
          She continued, “you all seem rather tense. Did I interrupt something?” Looking directly at Gabrielle, she said in the same manner, “are they giving you any trouble?”  
  
          “No!” The man with the bloodied nose interjected, “no trouble at all!” She turned her steely gaze back towards him,”I hoped not. You’d better go on to wherever you’re supposed to be. This _won’t_ happen again.”  
  
          The men, shaking their heads, dashed off, walking quickly and not looking back. The woman smirked then turned to look at Gabrielle, her once-frightening stare now turned warm. “Are you alright?” she asked, putting a hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder. She nodded, still in shock, and handed the woman her soccer ball in an almost robotic fashion.  
  
          “Thank you,” she smiled, taking it and tucking it under one arm, “where do you live? I can walk you home if you like?” Gabrielle pointed at her dorm and nodded.  
  
          “That’s not far at all,” the woman said brightly, and she began walking. Gabrielle’s thoughts raced wildly around in her mind, and she took a moment to look at the soccer pitch to confirm what she had suspected: there was no goal on the side of the field parallel to the parking lot. The shot had taken tremendous power and aim, and was 100 percent deliberate.  
  
          Upon arriving at the door to her dorm, she opened it and stepped into the room, but before she could close it, the woman asked, “what’s your name?”  
  
          She looked up to meet the woman’s eyes, which seemed brighter now that she wasn’t angry.  
  
          “Gabrielle,” she responded, “what’s yours?”  
  
          Smiling, the woman held out her hand, “my name is Xena.” Gabrielle took it, a strange sensation fluttering in her stomach.  
  
          “If you ever need me, just ask. I’m always around.” Gabrielle nodded, shutting the door. She exhaled and then tried to process what had just happened to her, but to no avail. She was only able to entertain one thought, and she did so over and over, speaking it in her mind: _Xena._

          The door clicked shut and Xena closed her eyes slowly, then reopened them, resetting her mind. She turned and walked down the hall of the dorms, feeling nostalgic as she passed bulletin boards covered with flyers announcing upcoming events as well as a handwritten sign on notebook paper: “DO NOT THROW MARSHMALLOWS FROM BALCONIES”. She chuckled internally at the oddly specific warning, certain that a fantastic story had made the signage necessary. It had been over a year since she had lived in a dorm, and she found herself missing the strange comradeship she had felt with those who had lived on her hall.  
  
          Descending the steps, she thought about her new acquaintance- although somehow she didn’t seem very new. She felt as if they’d met before, or she’d seen her in passing. No, it was something more than that- perhaps she knew her when she was very young.  
  
           _“Gabrielle,”_ she whispered aloud, pondering why she seemed so familiar. Deciding upon an odd spell of déja vu, she dismissed the thought. Her blood suddenly boiled when she recalled the circumstances of their meeting. Those three meatheads were constantly harassing freshmen. She was confident they’d get what was coming to them soon enough though- and if they didn’t, she wasn’t afraid to dish out a little karmic justice herself.  
  
          Xena had been watching the road ever since Gabrielle had appeared. She had sensed danger- just that feeling she got when something bad was about to happen. The soccer ball to the face was the only thing she could think to do from such a great distance. Her skin heated up and her pace inadvertently quickened when she thought of what might have happened if she hadn’t been nearby.  
  
           _Those men are scum,_ she thought furiously, _they don’t even deserve to be called men._  
  
          The wind picked up and rubbed uncomfortably against her skin, making her shiver. Maybe it was a bad call not to bring a jacket.  
  
          “Hey there, princess!” A voice called from across the street, “need a ride?”  
  
          Xena rolled her eyes, irritated. She’d recognise that voice anywhere, and no matter where she heard it, she wished she hadn’t. _Aaron._  
  
          “Don’t call me princess!” she snapped, glaring in the direction of the unwelcome call, “if you can fathom the concept, I don’t need your help. I don’t even want you around!”  
  
          Aaron sat in his car, a black mustang with silver flames painted on the side- one of the tackiest vehicles Xena had ever seen. His hair was long, dark, and thick, slicked back with god-knows-how-much hair product. His new accessory appeared to be a goatee, the sort you’d expect from a high school gym teacher, making his jaw seem unnaturally square.  
  
          “Oh, come on!” he whined, feigning innocence, “who wouldn’t want _this_ around?” He stuck his arm out the window and flexed, his muscles rippling, exposed by his sleeveless shirt.  
  
          Xena’s lip curled in disgust,”anyone who’s ever actually spoken to you. Now beat it! Don’t you have a football game to get to or something?”  
  
          “You remembered,” he smirked.  
  
          She returned his confident stare,“only because I had to beat up on some of your gallant Gladiator brothers for harassment before they packed up and left. Better guard your wide receiver extra well- wouldn’t want his ego to get any more bruised.”  
  
          Aaron’s steady gaze faltered and he scowled, flustered, and sped off, revving his engine loudly.  
  
          Pleased with herself, Xena mounted her own vehicle, a motorcycle she’d fixed up herself and lovingly nicknamed Argo. She sped off towards her own apartment, and as she raced down the road, she let her mind wander.  
  
          Without trying to, she found herself thinking of Gabrielle again, her small stature, long blonde hair, and bright greenish-blue eyes. She had a good face- a kind face- the sort of face that beamed out love and empathy. After a full drive’s reflection, Xena ultimately determined that Gabrielle must be the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen.

          Gabrielle sat down in the enormous lecture hall, equipped to fit two hundred people. However, only about seventy of the two hundred seats were occupied, and she had chosen a spot near the front- an action she regretted considering that the closest person to her was ten seats away and the next closest person to the front was two rows back.  
  
          The professor entered, loudly announcing “welcome to English Literature 101! Today we’ll be discussing the importance of setting in a piece of literature. Now, can anybody tell me…?”  
  
          He talked for two hours, only stopping to call on a student with an answer to a question. That student was often Gabrielle, who (although she was far too humble to admit it) was very smart, and particularly gifted in English and Literature classes.  
  
          At the end of class, she stood up and trudged out the door, yawning. She’d been up particularly late that night for reasons she couldn’t quite explain. It was just one of those restless evenings where she couldn’t quite get comfortable; something just felt off. Checking her watch, she realised that it was only nine o’clock in the morning and she had to find something to do with herself for the rest of the day.  
  
           _I guess what I really should do is study,_ she thought to herself, _but that’s not any way to spend an entire day._ She stepped out into the hallway and turned towards the exit. _I think I saw a bookshop on the way here. Maybe I can pop in and look for something interesting._ She would have given her plans for the day more thought, but out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of long, dark hair. Her body seemed to be working on autopilot as her heart skipped a beat.  
  
          “Xena!” she exclaimed, reaching out and grabbing the tall athlete’s arm, almost on instinct. Xena jumped and turned her head to see who had pounced on her, looking confused. Gabrielle anxiously awaited her secondary reaction, praying internally for something positive.  
  
          “Oh, Gabrielle, it’s you,” Xena grinned warmly, turning the rest of her body to face her.  
  
          Gabrielle’s cheeks burned as she realized that she had no real reason for stealing her attention in the middle of the hall.  
  
          “I- uh, what I mean to say is…” Face to face with Xena’s intense blue eyes and striking features, Gabrielle suddenly felt intimidated and shy, characteristics that rarely entered the stage in her social interactions.  
  
          “I was just heading out to the bookstore,” Xena said, looking slightly confused, “I have some time to kill and maybe you’d-”  
  
          “You’ve got to take me with you!” Gabrielle cut her off.  
  
          Xena looked surprised but her facial expression soon returned to its usual neutral, collected state.  
  
           _Ugh, that was awful! Xena’s gonna think I’m insane!_ “That sounded like an order,” Gabrielle sighed, embarrassed, “it wasn’t; I just… I was thinking of going anyway but I don’t have my own car and the bus is a little pricey to be riding it all the time but it’s a little too chilly to walk the whole way so I just-”  
  
          Xena held up her hand and chuckled, “what makes you think I have a car?”  
  
          Before she knew it, Gabrielle was standing in front of a silver-and-gold motorcycle as Xena adjusted her helmet.  
  
          “There we go, that should fit you now,” she smiled, making Gabrielle smile back. “Now, once I get on, you get on behind me and hold on tight, got it?”  
  
          “Got it.” _I can’t believe I’m doing this,_ she thought to herself, _I’ve just met this person yesterday and here I am getting ready to hop on the back of her motorcycle just because I-I…_  
  
          As a matter of fact, she didn’t know why she trusted Xena so implicitly. Her feelings swam around so much inside her head that she couldn’t place them at all. How _did_ she feel towards Xena? In a strange way, she wanted to be just like her; she seemed so strong and confident and independent. But there was something else there, something she couldn’t quite place yet.  
  
          She shivered through her sweater and tried to play it off as nothing, but within seconds Xena’s brown leather jacket was around her shoulders. “Oh no, Xena,” she protested, “you really don’t have to do this!”  
  
          “It’s alright,” Xena responded, “if you’re shivering now, you’ll really shiver once we get moving. I’ll be fine.” Gabrielle put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket. It was too big for her. She stared at the black t-shirt and jeans that were all Xena had left to keep her warm.  
  
          “Okay,” Xena sighed, mounting the motorcycle,”ready?” Gabrielle nodded and pressed against her, wrapping her arms around her waist. She heard the engine start and felt the bike start to vibrate, then they were off, speeding up the road to the store.

          Xena’s heart beat fast as she drove. With Gabrielle’s arms around her waist she found it difficult to concentrate on the road. A thousand different ideas raced through her mind; being so close to Gabrielle felt so good.  
  
           _I could pretend to miss a turn,_ she plotted internally, _that would make this last longer._ Guilt instantly stung her and she dismissed the idea, _no, that would only be taking advantage of the situation. After all, I want her to trust me._  
  
          They rounded the final corner and Xena slowed to a stop, parallel parked on the side of the road between two SUV’s that took up so much space another car couldn’t have fit into the spot between them. The street was on the outskirts of the city, but the setup of small independent restaurants, stores, art galleries, and bookshops was the same as a more central location- and a third less expensive to live in. The bookstore that Xena intended to enter was across the street from the parking space she’d obtained by a stroke of sheer luck, and she dismounted the motorcycle to see if Gabrielle needed any help.  
  
          “How’re you holding up? Ride a little much for you?”  
  
          To her pleasure, Gabrielle grinned widely and chirped, “that was great! Not nearly as rough as I thought it’d be- but maybe you’re just a good driver.”  
  
          Grinning sheepishly, Xena expressed her relief that Gabrielle hadn’t been horribly uncomfortable the whole way there. She watched her unclip her helmet and set it on the motorcycle’s handlebars delicately, as if it wasn’t designed to take a beating. Amused, the corners of Xena’s lips turned up in a subtle smile not meant for anyone else to see.  
  
          “Okay,” Gabrielle said, her hands on her hips and her voice full of enthusiasm, “where are we going?”  
  
          “Just across the street,” Xena responded, gesturing with a small head nod, “to that little place called Muses.”  
  
          The bookshop didn’t have a flashy storefront, just old brick with a small sign on the window that said “Muses” in fancy cursive and a flip sign on the door that informed passers-by that the store was open.  
  
          Walking across the street with Gabrielle in front of her, Xena couldn’t help but notice how small she looked wearing the big brown leather jacket. The sleeves were too long and the shoulders too broad, but it was somehow endearing. _I almost don’t want her to take it off,_ Xena thought as they entered the store, triggering a small bell hanging above the door.  
  
          Full of purpose, Xena strode into the poetry section of the shop, glancing at Gabrielle as she wandered towards Fiction.  
  
          Rifling through the books on the one shelf set aside for poetry, Xena found what she was looking for. She flipped quickly through the pages and copied the poem she’d read so many times before, unsure of why it meant so much to her until now. She spent a long time flipping through the pages of the worn old book, whose words seemed to have entirely new meaning for her now.  
  
          Suddenly, Gabrielle appeared behind her, carrying about five books. “Whatcha looking at?” she piped, making Xena jump.  
  
          “Uh- nothing,” she stammered, shutting the book and blushing, “just needed to make sure I had my facts straight on something.”  
  
          Gabrielle raised an eyebrow; clearly she was making no attempts to hide her feelings of skepticism. It even came out in her voice as she snaked her neck around to look at the title of Xena’s book, “you had to fact-check something from the poetry of… Sappho? Wow, Xena,” she chuckled, “I thought you said this was for school?”  
  
          Gritting her teeth with embarrassment, Xena quickly retorted, “it is!”  
  
          “Seriously?” Gabrielle asked, “what’s your major?”  
  
          This was a question whose answer would almost certainly satisfy any skeptic. “I’m a double major, actually. Political Science and Classical Greek Language and Literature. We discuss Sappho fairly frequently when we talk about the great Greek poets.”  
  
          Gabrielle looked shocked, giving Xena a feeling of intense satisfaction. “Well, how about you?” she probed Gabrielle, “what’s your intended major?”  
  
          She watched the short blonde’s eyes light up as she eagerly answered, “Creative Writing. I just love telling stories. They make people so happy and you can teach so much through stories, probably more than you can through lectures. People just seem to get it when they connect to a story.”  
  
          Slightly confused, Xena asked “get what?”  
  
          “We can all relate to a story one way or another. We’re all the same- we’re… connected.”  
  
          Gabrielle just radiated joy as she spoke. Taken aback by the purity of joy in her eyes, Xena swore to herself that she would protect her, protect that joy that made Gabrielle so radiant. Snapping back to the present and realising that she should probably respond, Xena just laughed affectionately and put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders, “alright, Joseph Campbell,” she chuckled, “let’s go check out- that stack of books you’ve got is on me.”  
  
          When they got to the checkout line, the cashier gave them some bad news: “there’s a pretty rough storm coming,” she said, “won’t let up till about three tomorrow morning. Crazy wind, rain, lightning, thunder- the whole nine yards.”  
  
          “Oh no!” Gabrielle exclaimed, disappointed, “my dorm is so far and we don’t even have a car! Xena what should we-?”  
  
          Xena cut her off, staring straight ahead, “it’s alright.” She had hoped that she wouldn’t have had to disclose this information yet, but she finally admitted, “my apartment’s right upstairs. If I go park my bike in a garage quickly, you can stay with me… at least until the storm lets up.”  
  
          Once again, Gabrielle looked shocked. “Oh… Okay,” she stammered, seemingly nervous.  
  
           _She’s wondering whether or not she can trust me,_ Xena read her expression instantly, _and she can. Now I’ve just got to convince her._  
          “There’s a pull-out couch in the living room,” she offered, “you can sleep there.”  
  
          Gabrielle looked more comfortable and agreed almost immediately. Letting Gabrielle go into the apartment ahead of her, Xena put her motorcycle in a nearby parking garage and slipped into the apartment just before the onset of the storm.  
  
          She set up the living-room couch and made sure Gabrielle was settled in, then got ready for bed herself.  
  
          She slept easier than she had the night before, lulled by the sounds of the storm outside. Her slumber was only interrupted once, when Gabrielle entered her room in the middle of the night, seemingly on a whim, and whispered, “Xena! What was that poem you were reading? What did it say?”  
  
          Half-asleep, Xena breathed, “I can’t remember right now. Go back to bed; I’ll tell you in the morning.”  
  
          She had lied, but she had done it to protect Gabrielle. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, was there? The sound of her footsteps leaving the room and the creak of her weight settling on the couch ensured Xena that she couldn’t be overheard, and she recited the poem quietly to herself, at barely a whisper:

_“There’s a moment when I look at you_  
_And no speech is left in me_  
_My tongue breaks_  
_Then fire races under my skin_  
_And I tremble_  
_And grow pale_  
_For I am dying of such love_  
_Or so it seems to me"_

          Gabrielle didn’t need to know that. Not just yet.


	2. The Worst Of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabrielle learns about the dark side of Xena's life, and Xena opens up about her past.

          Gabrielle awoke slowly and reluctantly; she couldn’t remember another time she’d slept so deeply. She arched her back a little, beginning the long process of getting herself up, when still half-conscious, she felt something was off.

          She wasn’t in her own bed, that was clear from the coarseness of the sheets, and there was no way she could be in her own home; the sink was on and she had no roommate. Panic gripped her suddenly as her eyes flew open and she sat up in bed. Looking around frantically, she didn’t recognise the room. The leather furniture and exposed brick walls weren’t hers, and neither were the dark drapes covering the windows.

          She looked down at herself. _These clothes aren’t even mine!_

          She wore baggy sweatpants and a soccer jersey with the number six on it. _A soccer jersey… I’m at Xena’s!_

          Gabrielle’s heart rate slowly returned to normal, and she finally turned her head to look into the kitchen. Sure enough, Xena stood there, fully clothed, showered, and washing dishes. Xena looked back at Gabrielle, almost like she could tell that she was being watched.

          “Morning, sleepyhead,” she said warmly, “glad you’ve decided to join us.”

          Gabrielle’s cheeks burned as she looked around for any indication of the time.

          As if she’d read her mind, Xena spoke again, “it’s almost nine o’clock. Hope you didn’t have any early classes today, it just didn’t seem right to wake you.”

          “No,” Gabrielle said, still disoriented, “it’s fine.”

          Xena turned off the sink and strode over towards Gabrielle, sitting on the side of the bed. “I’ve already had breakfast but I can make you some if you like.” The way Xena’s eyes seemed to bore into her own made her feel exposed, and she pulled the sheets up to her chin.

          “No, thank you, I think I’ll just get home. I have class in a couple hours so I need to get back.”

          Xena looked slightly disappointed as she responded, and Gabrielle thought she might have seen a flash of panic in her eyes before her expression returned to normal.

          “Alright, but I do need my clothes back. I’ve got practice tonight and that jersey might be kind of important.”

          Gabrielle nodded, blushing, and walked into the bathroom to change back into her clothes. She felt dirty, the way one does after staying someplace overnight and not bringing a change of clothes, and made a mental note that she’d have to shower upon arriving back home.

          She folded Xena’s sweatpants and jersey and put them on the counter, unsure of what else to do with them.

          She pulled out her cell phone and called a cab before emerging from the bathroom, and when she did, she did so cautiously.

          It wasn’t that she thought Xena was going to hurt her or that she made her feel uncomfortable, it was quite the opposite: she felt too comfortable with Xena, too vulnerable, as if she could tell her anything. The way Xena seemed to know what she needed before she asked and the way her eyes seemed to stare right into her made it seem like they’d known each other for a very long time.

           _I trust her, but can I trust my instincts? It can’t be right for me to feel this way so quickly; it goes against everything I’ve ever been taught._

          She sat down at Xena’s kitchen table to wait for the taxi and accepted the cup of coffee that was offered to her, nursing it and staring at the mug, which looked like it was homemade and was covered in intricate gold swirls that seemed to all connect without really having a centre.

          The cab finally came and she told Xena goodbye, walking out the door and down the stairs to where it was parked in front of the bookstore.

          She looked out the window, letting the coffee kick in and wake her up as she studied all the buildings that she passed and tried to read all the signs in store windows to pass the time.

          When she arrived at her dorm and entered the room it seemed very different somehow.

          Nothing had physically changed, but the feeling was unfamiliar. The room seemed grey and still, devoid of life, as if nobody really lived there. Gabrielle inhaled deeply, and caught a whiff of Xena’s scent.

          She did so numerous times, until she could pick out each individual little smell that contributed to Xena: a smoky smell like a campfire, freshly mowed grass, rhododendron, worn leather, and- was that pomegranates? Shaking her head, Gabrielle quickly decided that she needed to shower immediately, _I can’t have this distracting me all day. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to me anyway._

          Somewhere deep inside her, though, she did know. It emerged from the core of her being, and she felt it clawing at the back of her mind, desperate for attention and validation from her conscious self.

          She turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up, slipping out of her clothes that seemed unnaturally tight after having worn Xena’s.

          She stared at herself in the mirror as it gradually steamed up. _I’m not really anything like Xena,_ she mused, _I’m so much smaller, for one thing. Paler. I don’t have the same confidence as she does when she walks. I’m not nearly as intimidating, either… but she doesn’t look at me like I’m not. God, she almost looked afraid of me this morning._

          The mirror now covered in steam, Gabrielle stepped into the shower, letting the hot water calm her nerves and relax her muscles. She scrubbed off the feeling of sleeping in a strange place for the first time, and put conditioner in her hair so it would be manageable to comb once she got out of the shower. The water pressure was fairly strong today, and she turned to let it massage her shoulders and her back.

          Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her mind. Somehow the past two days had felt like two weeks, and she just needed to relax. Exhaling slowly, she moved her hand between her legs timidly and had just barely begun when an unauthorized thought entered her mind: she pictured Xena’s face when she’d first seen her, sprinting across the parking lot, drenched in sweat, her eyebrows knitted together, and a tremendous intensity and focus in her startlingly blue eyes.

          Gasping, Gabrielle drew her hand away quickly, guilt stinging her mind. She reprimanded herself silently, _are you serious? You can’t think about a friend while you’re in the shower! At least, not_ that _kind of “in the shower”. What is wrong with me?_

          Feeling embarrassed, she washed the conditioner out of her hair and turned off the water, drying off quickly and dressing in a favourite green shirt and brown skirt.

          She tried her best not to think of Xena as she gathered all her notes, her laptop, and her sweater. She hoped that having to focus on class would help, but even as she walked out the door to her dorm, her mind was set only on Xena’s hypnotizing blue eyes.

          Xena stood beside the pull-out couch in her living room, debating internally about whether or not she should fold it back to a regular sofa. Even though Gabrielle had left in such a hurry this morning, Xena had a feeling that she would be staying the night again soon.

          Thinking back to the events of the previous evening, Xena wondered if Gabrielle had really woken her up in the middle of the night or if that had been just a dream. Gabrielle hadn’t pressed her about it in the morning, so maybe she had just imagined it.

          Xena took the sheets off the pull-out couch and folded it back up again, _if Gabrielle wants to stay again, she can just remake the bed._ Tossing the sheets onto a nearby chair, Xena walked into the bathroom.

          The clothes that Gabrielle had slept in were folded on the counter, and Xena grabbed her jersey and changed into it. She had grown very fond of her red-and-gold team colours, and hoped that her jersey would never be so worn that she couldn’t wear it anymore.

          Her cell phone buzzed, breaking her train of thought. _Is it six o’clock already?_

          It was the midfielder group text and they were outside her apartment to pick her up. She grabbed her bag and walked out the door hoping that the faint, lingering scent of Gabrielle would fade away during practice.

          The car ride was short, and Xena spent it in silence, listening to the chatter and gossip that her teammates shared and deciding what she thought was true and what must have been sheer exaggeration.

          When she finally made it on the field, she rounded up her team and led them in stretches, warming them up as they waited for the arrival of the head coach. Xena stretched deeply, letting her muscles loosen all the way and breathing to a slow tempo.

          She took note of which teammates seemed to struggle with which stretches so she could emphasize them at a later practice.

          Like clockwork, the head coach arrived fifteen minutes after the players and immediately set them running laps. They ran around the field five times, across it ten times, did three rounds of suicides, and ran two more laps before they were given a water break.

           _Well, it’s clear who didn’t keep up with the summer training regimen and who did,_ Xena thought, slightly irritated, _I hope they’re all fit enough to play ninety minutes._

          Drills came next, starting with simple keepaway, then passing while in motion, give-and-go, and set-pieces. Xena spent twenty minutes just working on corner kicks and twenty more practicing scoring on them from in the box.

          When the three-hour practice finally ended, the coach had a surprise. The stadium lights making her appear almost in silhouette, she spoke in a steady, no-nonsense voice that none of the players would dare oppose: “Now, you’ve just proved that you’re fit. You’ve proved that you have endurance, that you can be prepared for regular situations, but what you haven’t proved yet is that you can be prepared for the unexpected. That’s what will be tested now.”

          Some of the players looked anxiously at each other, but Xena knew the drill. As team captain and as a longtime veteran, she knew what the coach’s next words would be: “I’ve invited the Cirra University team to come play a scrimmage in ten minutes. They are your biggest competition for this season- and I expect you to beat them.”

          The team grumbled quietly, and Xena shot them a dirty look.

          “Hey!” she snapped, “she’s got a point. If we start off the season with a scrimmage with our biggest rivals, then every other game will seem like a piece of cake. Now I know their captain, and she doesn’t look like much, but she is easily as good a player as any of us. Not only that, she’s brilliant. The more we play them, the more we know their strategy, and the easier we beat them in a real game. I want 110% from all of you, but here’s who’s starting…” she launched straight into reading off the list of starters, that she had in her mind, confident in the lineup.

          She turned to the new kids and told them to be watching for any patterns in Cirra’s gameplay, then warmed up her team again. Not long after, Cirra arrived.

          They marched onto the field in single file; the last person in line their captain. Callie.

          As soon as she saw her, Xena made eye contact and refused to break it, staring down her longtime rival.

          “How’s your arm, Xena?” Callie purred, grinning wildly.

          Xena remembered how Callie had dislocated her shoulder the last time they played and grimaced at the memory- but only moments after, Xena had fallen on top of her and given her a bloody nose, so she held Callie’s gaze confidently again and responded, “fine. How’s your face?”

          Xena looked Callie up and down, sizing her up.

           _She still looks too skinny to accomplish much,_ she reflected, _but I’ll certainly never underestimate her again._

          The teams had five minutes to warm up, then the game began. From the left-midfield position, Xena would have to guard Callie at right striker. Again.

          Almost the instant the first touch was made, Callie ran at the ball. Irritated, Xena moved halfway between the ball and the sidelines, prepared for a pass.

           _She may be brilliant and she may be more athletic than most other players, but she’s never gonna get anywhere if she doesn’t learn some self-discipline._

          The pass that Xena had been waiting for came, and she ran up the field as quickly as she could while still remaining on-side. The forwards soon caught up to her, but by then the entirety of the Cirra defense and midfield had gotten back. She had to get rid of the ball.

          Looking up for a passing lane, she found one up and to her right: her left forward, Karina.

          Passing up, Xena ran ahead of Karina, giving a small hand gesture to indicate a give-and-go play. Karina nodded, took a touch, and then passed up to Xena, who fired at the goal.

          The keeper blocked the shot, it went off to the right. Corner kick.

          Xena’s blood was flowing fast and she calmed her nerves as the right mid took the corner kick. The second the ball started flying through the air, Xena leapt forward, sailing towards it.

          Her head made contact and the ball hit the back of the net. A scream of frustration could be heard from somewhere over Xena’s shoulder. Callie wasn’t happy.

          She displayed her frustration openly as she gestured wildly at her teammates about what they should have done differently.

          The game reset, and Xena could tell that Callie’s strategy was different this time. _Her body’s more relaxed, but her eyes are still as feral. She’s holding off on trying to get possession. She’s got a plan._

          In a very short period of time, that plan became obvious. Xena had possession of the ball and was traveling at lightning speed up the field, when she saw a flash of blond hair out of the corner of her eye. Callie had matched pace, and rammed into her shoulder, sending her crashing to the ground.

          A whistle blew and Callie received a yellow card, but it wouldn’t count for anything since the game wasn’t real.

          “Xena!” a voice called from the sidelines, and she quickly identified it as one of the newer kids. Looking over her shoulder, she felt outraged at what she saw. _She can’t be taking me out of the game! Not now!_  
  
          But that was exactly the case, and Xena stormed off the field, marching right up to her coach.

          “You’re subbing me out?” she protested, “it hasn’t even been ten minutes!”

          The coach held up her hand, “calm down Xena. You’ve just scored in less than ten minutes. You can beat them, but I have to train these other girls to hold their own without you. And that look Callie’s got in her eyes… it’s not a look you ever want to see in an athlete. She’s not in it for the game. She’s in it for the glory. And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way. Right now, that’s you.”

          Flabbergasted, Xena just stared at the coach with her mouth hanging open. Everything she said made sense, but she wanted to be in there with her teammates.

          “Go home, Xena,” Coach continued, “you don’t have to do anything else for me today.”

          Xena nodded, discouraged, _she’s right. I just have to let her do what’s best._

          Packing away her gear, she relaxed about the situation. She hadn’t done anything wrong and her coach was just protecting her and looking out for the rest of the team. Even still, she trudged off the field, doing her best to keep her head high.

          She could feel Callie’s eyes on her back and could practically see the smug expression that was sure to be on her face, but there was something else.

          She looked up at the stands and froze, shocked at what she saw: sitting in the stadium, all by herself, was Gabrielle.

          Gabrielle met Xena’s eyes and jumped, looking away quickly.

           _She sees me! Why did I think this was a good idea?_

          She felt the urge to run away, act as if nothing happened, but she knew it was no use. Xena had seen her and she was walking right at her. Gabrielle felt frozen in place as Xena walked slowly towards her, up every step to the top of the stands.

          Finally, she stood right before her, making that face she made when she didn’t know what was going on, almost like the face she’d made when questioning the jocks the other day: eyes narrowed, eyebrows raised, the corner of her lips turned up just slightly. Gabrielle was certain that Xena could hear her heart beating out of her chest, so loudly that it nearly drowned out her words.

          “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice smooth and calculating.

           _Get it together, Gabrielle, you’re good at this. Just tell her why you’re here._

          “I wanted to see you play. After you rescued me I wanted to know how good you were. To know how you were in more... normal circumstances.”

          She watched Xena study her words before responding, “yeah, well that wasn’t exactly a normal circumstance. That’s the Cirra University team, and their captain… let’s just say she’s bad news.”

          “How so?”

          Xena looked down at the field and Gabrielle followed her eyes to a tall, skinny woman with wild blonde hair. She didn’t seem like a big deal, at least not from where Gabrielle was standing. A little overenthusiastic, maybe, but not harmful.

          Xena finally spoke, “Her name’s Callie. She used to play on the same club team with me. She’s a few years younger but she’s always played up. She was angry that the coaches started me and not her and that I always beat her in drills, scrimmages, and the like. I think when I left for college it became less about the game for her and more about training to… take me down- any way she could. The closer I get to graduation, the more obvious it is. She dislocated my shoulder in the championship game last season. She got a red card, of course, but I couldn’t play. My team still won, but I didn’t feel like I’d been a part of it. Now she just tried to hurt me again so Coach pulled me. Which is exactly what Callie wants.”

          She stared at the ground, a brooding expression on her face. Gabrielle stood and put a hand on Xena’s shoulder. Xena looked so frustrated and she wanted to help.

          “You know, Xena, I never thought soccer got this intense,” she chuckled, “but I think maybe pulling you was for the best. You can’t be out for the season; your team needs you, I could see that even from all the way up here. Callie lets her game be all about you, so why make yours be all about her? She can’t beat you, Xena, not unless you let her.”

          Xena kept her head down, but she smiled slightly and put her hand over Gabrielle’s. The gesture touched Gabrielle to the extent that she nearly pulled away out of fear of the tenderness.

          She shook off her worries and smiled, “what’re you doing tonight? I owe you for letting me stay at your place; I could buy you dinner if you want?” Xena’s expression suddenly darkened again, and Gabrielle felt her shoulders grow tense.

          “I’ve got plans tonight,” she said, her tone unreadable, “rain check?” She finally looked up and smiled at Gabrielle, but she saw right through it.

           _There’s something she’s not telling me._ Gabrielle felt almost offended at Xena’s secretiveness, like she had a right to know what she was doing without her.

          “Oh yeah?” she asked cheerily after deciding to play it nonchalantly, “something fun?”

          “Yeah, something,” Xena sighed, then she stood up and looked over her shoulder. “I’ve gotta go or I’m gonna be late. Your dorm’s just over there, right?” Gabrielle nodded. “Alright. Well, there’s too many people out here for those boys to try their luck again so you should be alright. I’ll see you around.”

          “See you.”

          Gabrielle raised one eyebrow and watched Xena turn her back and walk away.

           _You’re not getting away that easily. I’ve got to follow her._

          She waited until Xena was a good distance away, then stood up and crept after her, trying to time her footsteps with Xena’s, a daunting task considering she was a good six inches taller. She trailed her out of the parking lot and down a city street, into a part of town she’d never been in before.

          The buildings seemed dark and intimidating, and the chill in the air made Gabrielle stuff her hands into the pockets of her sweater. Ignoring everything else around her, she trained her eyes on Xena, who finally went down a flight of stairs leading underneath a foreclosed building and disappeared behind a heavy oak door.

          Gabrielle stood at the top of the stairs for a few minutes, her mind racing.

           _What “plans” could Xena have down there? That’s trespassing! Is she a closet druggie or is this some sort of secret red light district?_ None of the explanations she could come up with seemed to make any sense.

           _I’ll never know if I don’t keep following her. If she’s got a problem, maybe I can help._

          She inhaled sharply and descended the steps, hoping for the best. Pushing open the door, she walked inside and was immediately overwhelmed by her surroundings.

          It was loud, and the room was huge, lit only by flashlights duct taped all over the walls and ceiling, casting an ominous amber glow over the scene. At least a hundred men milled around talking loudly, drinks in hand.

           _Oh my god,_ Gabrielle panicked internally, _what is Xena up to?_

          She felt fear creep into her body as she was jostled around by the huge crowd, and panicked as soon as she realised that she couldn’t find the exit. Her breathing grew shallow and she felt her face grow red, _how do I get out of here? This place can’t be safe, there’s no way-_

          Her thoughts were cut off by a hand grabbing her sweater and pulling her aside. She opened her mouth to scream, but another hand clapped over her lips and stopped her. Her heart beating out of her chest, she looked at the source of her panic. “Xena?”

          Xena had changed clothes and put up her hair, wearing only a sports bra and spandex.

          “I had a feeling you’d follow me, I just hoped I was wrong.” A mixture of fear and annoyance covered her face, and Gabrielle glared at her.

          “Xena, what are you doing here? What is this place? It’s foreclosed, it’s not even legal to-”

          “I’ll explain later.” Xena cut her off. “You just go wait outside until I come get you.” Anger boiled up inside Gabrielle and she pulled away from Xena’s hand. “No!” She snapped, “whatever it is you’re doing here, I’m coming with you!”

          Xena stared her down and she stared back defiantly.

          “Fine,” she finally sighed, “you can come. But stay close and do exactly as I say.”

          Grinning victoriously, Gabrielle let Xena steer her over towards the wall on the other side of the building.

          “Stay here,” Xena pleaded, and Gabrielle pressed against the wall, feigning obedience.

          Xena took off through the crowd and out of sight.

           _Stay here? Yeah, right._ She prepared to go after her, but just then, a booming voice called out over the crowd, “ARE ALL THE BETS IN?”

          The crowd suddenly erupted into raucous cheering.

           _Bets? Wait a minute…_ She had figured it out. _Xena came down here to_ fight _!? This is so many different shades of illegal! She could get seriously hurt and not be able to tell a doctor the truth about what happened! She could get arrested! I have to stop this!_ She tried her best to maneuver through the crowd, but ended up shoved to the side everywhere she went.

          “WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! TODAY IS THE DAY WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! DEFENDING HIS TITLE, WE HAVE DRACO THE DEFILER, AND OUR CHALLENGER IS- THAT’S RIGHT, EVERYONE- THE HUMAN WEAPON HERSELF, THAT BODACIOUS BRAWLER, XENA THE DESTROYER!”

          The crowd threw their hands in the air and went wild, screaming so loudly that Gabrielle had to cover her ears. Taking advantage of the chaos, she ducked down and shoved her way through the throngs of cheering thrill-seekers, finally making her way to the front. She was stopped by a series of ropes crudely tied around some posts in a square to make a makeshift fighting arena.

          Her eyes rested on Xena, who strode confidently around her half of the square, her barely-wrapped hands raised in fists and her mouth open in a fierce battle cry.

           _She seems confident enough. I wonder who she’s facing._

          Gabrielle’s heart sank when she saw Xena’s opponent. Draco was very tall and muscular, and his dark skin and long hair glistened with sweat. A scar on his face made him look formidable if not downright frightening. He was calmer than Xena, and carried himself with an air of sophistication- it made Gabrielle nervous.

           _Does he know he’s going to win? Is that why he looks so confident?_

          She tried to call out to Xena, but her voice was drowned out by the noise all around her.

          Xena and Draco met in the center, each giving the other a small nod and listening to some words from a ref that Gabrielle couldn’t make out. A bell rang and suddenly, both fighters sprang into action.

          Draco lunged first, swinging a fist right at Xena’s face.

          Gabrielle covered her eyes, afraid to see the outcome of the powerful punch. The crowd cheered even louder, and she peeked through her fingers.

          Xena had caught Draco’s hand. Letting out a shout, she punched him with her left hand three times, straight shots to the body. Draco grunted and pulled away, winding up for another swing.  
  
          Gabrielle leaned on the rope, her mind filled with panic for her friend, and tried to will Xena to come out on top.

          Draco swung at Xena’s face again, and she reached up to guard it, but then he dropped his fist and aimed for her stomach.

          Gabrielle screamed Xena’s name again, trying to warn her, but Xena’s eyes had already flitted down to Draco’s hand. She brought up her knee to deflect his punch then leapt into the air, landing a kick in the center of his chest and bowling him over.

          Her knuckles turning white from gripping the rope, and Gabrielle chewed her bottom lip with anticipation.

          Draco pushed himself back up, and in a flash he had landed a hit on the side of Xena’s head. It wasn’t quite close-fisted, but the blow was still enough to stun her, and Gabrielle watched, feeling completely helpless. Draco swung again, and Xena avoided the brunt of it, but still got clipped on the top of her head.

          Blood began to trickle down her cheek, the source being somewhere under her hair. Her eyes narrowed, and she backed up, putting her hands up to guard her body. Draco faked a punch then followed through with another, but this time Xena’s strategy looked different.

          She backed up slightly then hit him in the crook of his arm, making him cry out in pain. She hit him three more times, once in the kidney and twice in the face, then finished him off with two powerful kicks, first to the back of the knee and then to the face again.

          Blood flew out of his mouth as he fell, completely knocked out.

          An eerie silence filled the room, and time seemed to stand still as everyone tried to process what had just happened. Gabrielle finally recovered enough from her shock to shout “Xena!”

          Her voice broke the silence and a mixture of cheers and jeers erupted from the crowd, some ecstatic to have won their bets and others who felt they’d been cheated out of their money. All the screams sounded like they were coming from inside a glass bottle as Gabrielle clambered over the rope and rushed towards Xena, who staggered over to the edge of the arena and bared her teeth in a display of victory as she was handed a wad of prize money.

          “Xena, where’s the exit?” Gabrielle asked amidst the frenzy, picking up her soccer bag from just outside the arena.

          “That way,” Xena gestured vaguely in a direction behind them.

          Putting her arm around her shoulders, Gabrielle dragged her out of the arena, through the crowd, and out onto the street, only lit by one streetlight placed awkwardly on the corner. She looked up at Xena, her heart nearly stopping when she saw the trickle of blood still dripping down from her forehead.

          “I’m taking you to my dorm,” Gabrielle told her in a tone of voice that she daren’t disagree with. Xena nodded and stayed quiet the whole way back as Gabrielle’s mind struggled to come to terms with what had just happened.

           _Okay, then. My friend is some kind of secret, illegal, underground ultimate fighter with lethal combat skills and may or may not have a concussion… or even insurance. I can’t take her to the hospital because I can’t lie about what happened if I want her to get proper care, but if I tell the truth, she could end up in jail. So I’m taking her back home so I can… what? Put some ice on her head? Make her chicken soup? That’s not enough. My god, I can’t let her go home alone! If she gets worse someone has to be around to get her real help!_

          Shaking her head, Gabrielle led Xena up the flight of stairs and into her dorm, setting her down on the bed and turning on the lights.

          “Okay, stay still,” she breathed frantically, “I’m going to take a look at you.”

          Xena looked up at her like a puppy that knew it was in trouble and let her brush her hair off her forehead. Gabrielle studied the gash that Xena had sustained. It had finally closed itself up, but her hair was still stained and matted with blood, and it had settled on her cheek and chin, too.

          “Oh yeah, that’s nasty, but you’re gonna be alright. Come here.”

          Gabrielle took Xena’s hand and guided her into the bathroom, instructing her to sit down on the edge of the bathtub as she put a washcloth under hot water.

          “You know something, Gabrielle?” Xena said quietly behind her.

          “What?”

          “You’re beautiful.”

          Gabrielle froze a moment, unsure what to think of Xena’s far-off, almost whimsical tone.

          “Maybe you do have a concussion,” she laughed, “I could probably get one of the med students to check you out.”

          “No, I mean it,” Xena persisted, starting to stand up.

          Gabrielle pushed her back down and wiped the blood off her forehead, gently brushing the warm cloth through her hair, removing any trace of injury except for the scratch itself.

          “You’ve got pretty eyes… so bright and warm… green and blue like the ocean. And you just look like… love.”

          Gabrielle felt herself blush. She wasn’t sure what to think of Xena’s words, but they made her feel happy and safe and… loved. Did Xena love her? Is that what this was? _If Xena loves me, do I love her? Can I love her back? I’ve never really had a boyfriend before, not since middle school and I’ve never even really thought about girls. But maybe…_

          She banished the train of thought from her mind and just smiled. She finished washing Xena’s forehead and brushed the cloth down her cheek, making her fall silent again.

          When all the blood was removed from Xena’s face, Gabrielle took a step back to admire her handiwork.

          Xena’s eyes seemed almost doe-like as she stared up at Gabrielle.

           _Well, now she’s the very image of innocence. She looks almost docile sitting there. You’d never imagine this Xena hitting a pervert in the face with a soccer ball or knocking out a big man like Draco… She’s… cute._

          “Do you need to shower?” Gabrielle asked, slightly flustered, “I mean, you just played a four-hour soccer practice and beat up a bodybuilder.”

          Xena smirked, an expression more familiar to Gabrielle, “you trying to tell me I stink?”

          “Maybe,” she said playfully, “I don’t want everyone who comes over to ask how I snuck a dog into the dorms.”

          Xena feigned hurt feelings and chuckled, “alright, point made. Where are your towels?”

          Gabrielle pointed under the sink and left Xena in the bathroom. She got ready for bed and sat at her table, highlighting sentences that seemed important out of her required reading. About ten minutes went by and Xena opened the bathroom door to slide her soccer bag in, and shortly after she emerged in a change of clothes, her hair dripping wet.

          “Feel better?” Gabrielle asked brightly, and Xena nodded. Gabrielle moved over to the bed and motioned for Xena to sit down beside her.

          Cautiously, she obeyed, and Gabrielle worked up the courage to ask what she’d been wondering all night: “Xena, why are you fighting?”

           _There it is,_ Xena thought, _I’ve been waiting for her to ask that all night._

          She looked up at the white dorm walls and sparsely furnished room, then back at her hands, debating a moment about whether or not she should give a sarcastic answer. Ultimately, she decided that the truth would serve her better.

          Still focusing on her fingers, she sighed and began:

          “When I was about four, my father left for war. He was in the navy and they just kept calling him back year after year. After almost five years of him being away- with occasional visits for holidays or my younger brother’s birth- he was killed in the line of duty. My mother was heartbroken, only working part-time, and left with me and my two brothers, one older and one younger. We had to move to an apartment in a completely different neighbourhood to be able to afford a home. We were all sad, but for the most part everything wasn’t so bad until years later.

          When I was about twelve, this man broke into our apartment. He took all my mother’s jewelry, all the money we had in the house, anything he could fit into this big bag he’d brought. Mother was terrified and so were my brothers and I. When he tried to take my mother’s wedding ring… right off her finger… something kind of snapped in me and in my younger brother, too. We rushed at the thief and attacked him. Like total idiots. He fought back, of course, and he threw my brother across the room… like he was a doll or something.”

          She felt herself beginning to tear up at the memory, and Gabrielle put a hand on her shoulder.

          “You don’t have to tell me, Xena,” she started to say, but Xena stopped her.

          “No, it’s better for you to know. Anyway, my brother. He hit his head against the wall. Hard. Cracked his skull. And he was only about seven. He died that night. The thief got away. He didn’t take my mother’s ring, but the DNA he left on me from the fight was enough for an ID. They found him eventually, about a year later. But I never stopped thinking that I should have been able to protect my family. To protect my brother. So I started taking some mixed martial arts lessons here and there. Mother thought it could be good for me- let out some aggression, feel more secure and independent. Then when Mother couldn’t afford them anymore, I just started making it up as I went along.

          My body stayed in pretty good shape since I’d taken up soccer instead. There was a youth program that would pay for me to be on my high school team as long as I kept up some grade point average and conduct requirements. I used some of what I learned in soccer to apply to my fighting, just improvising and seeing what worked. I lived in kind of a bad part of town so there were plenty of places to fight underground and practice. I was only maybe sixteen when I first started fighting men. Crowds loved it… and they’d pay to see it. I helped put food on the table and get my older brother into college.

          Mother knew I was doing something I shouldn’t have been, but she didn’t ask. We were that desperate. I got the full-ride scholarship here for soccer, but I’ve still been fighting to pay for my apartment. And I send money home to Mother sometimes. She’s doing better now that she doesn’t have to take care of us.”

          Gabrielle’s forehead wrinkled with concern and sympathy, and Xena looked away instinctively. _I don’t think I can bear her looking at me like that._

          “Why don’t you stop now, Xena?” she asked, “if you don’t really need to do it anymore?”

          “It’s not that easy. When crowds like you, the people who run these things like you- _need_ you. So you can fuel their operation. It’s easy to get in, but hard to get out. Believe me, I want to stop. But I just don’t think that’ll be possible as long as I’m still living here.”

          She stared at the ground, afraid to meet Gabrielle’s eyes again. To her surprise, Gabrielle moved towards her, wrapping her arms around her waist and holding her tightly. Xena could feel Gabrielle’s heartbeat and she focused on it to stay calm. The world seemed to become still and silent around her as she let herself be held for the first time in what felt like years.

          “I want to help you, Xena,” Gabrielle whispered. She sounded like she was crying. “Your brother’s death was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. You protected your mother. You were brave. And your brother was brave, too, unbelievably brave. Don’t destroy yourself over something that happened so long ago. The blow you took was hard enough, you don’t have to make it worse for yourself. You don’t have to go through all this pain alone. I’m here.”

          Timidly, Xena slid her arms around Gabrielle. She let her words sink in and felt a tear roll down her cheek. She felt as if she’d been freed from some prison that had held her since that day, and she whispered, “thank you,” because she couldn’t think of anything more to say.

          Well, that wasn’t entirely true, but she couldn’t risk any more of her truth coming out on this night- at least, that was what she had convinced herself of. Gabrielle pulled away and Xena let her go.  
  
          “Okay,” Gabrielle sniffled, wiping away the tears from her eyes, “I haven’t got a couch so you’ll just have to sleep here with me.”

          A flutter of anxiety crossed Xena’s mind, “oh, no, that’s alright. I can sleep on the floor or something, it’s not that bad.”

          “No,” Gabrielle insisted, “you’re staying with me. For my sake as much as yours.”

          Xena nodded exhaustedly and crawled under the covers, Gabrielle beside her.

          It’s so strange, she thought to herself, it’s like I’ve done this before only… not quite like this.

          Turning her back to Gabrielle and making sure they weren’t touching, she shut her eyes and tried to calm her mind. Her head pounded and her whole body ached, but she wasn’t focused on any of that. Instead, she puzzled again over why Gabrielle seemed so familiar, and why she was so gentle and caring with her. Why did _she_ care?

          The more she thought, the heavier her eyelids felt, and before she fell asleep, her mind finally caught up with her heart. She was in love with Gabrielle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! So just a little heads-up, the first few chapters of this fic will be mostly about the building of Xena and Gabrielle's relationship, and not so much about the actual central plot, but I promise that's coming! This story, in case it's not clear yet, is focusing on the whole reincarnation plot and will be featuring Alti as the main antagonist later on, but of course I had to throw in Callisto because she's a terrific character. I'll do my best to update every Sunday, but sometimes life and school get in the way and it might be later or sometimes (like this week) I might be early. If you want to message me with any questions my tumblr is ky-ky-the-almost-guy and I'm sorry but I don't allow anonymous messages after some shenanigans that went down over the summer that I wouldn't care to experience again, but I don't bite so feel free to talk to me! Thanks for reading, guys!  
> -Ky


	3. Quiet Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabrielle makes a phone call, Xena starts asking questions, and someone from Xena's past starts shaking things up.

                Gabrielle fought against consciousness once again, but hard as she tried, her senses slowly awakened one by one. First she noticed that it was completely silent except for the quiet humming of the refrigerator, and then the ambient light of the room began to shine through her eyelids. She took a deep breath and detected the faint smell of a campfire. _Xena._

                Not fully in control of her thoughts yet, she pictured her friend’s deep, blue eyes and radiant smile and felt her heart skip a beat. Another, more rational part of her mind scolded her for the momentary breach in her filter, and she opened her eyes to enter reality.

                The white ceiling seemed to glare at her with its intense blandness, almost as if it was intimidating the colour out of the room. Sighing, Gabrielle turned on her side to look at Xena, but much to her dismay, the sheets beside her were empty and barely even rumpled.

                 _When did she get up?_ She pawed frantically at the bed beside her to make sure that her eyes weren’t lying to her. _Is she even still here?_ Whirling around to look at the room around her, her heart sank. Xena was gone. Gabrielle’s eyes fell on a scrap of paper on the desk up against the wall opposite the bed. _She left a note?_

                Wide awake now, she threw the covers off of her bed and ran over to pick up the little scrap of paper. Xena’s handwriting was a messy, slanted scrawl, and Gabrielle thought it oddly endearing for the smooth-voiced woman to write in such a choppy manner. As she read the note, she could practically hear Xena’s voice in her head, with all its complex tones and slow, deliberate speech pattern:

                 _Gabrielle,_

                 _I’m sorry to dash off without telling you goodbye but I have class this morning at seven and I don’t want to wake you. After all you did for me, you’ve at least earned a good night’s sleep. Thank you for taking me in last night; I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. I think my head’s doing alright but if I notice anything strange I promise I’ll go get it looked at- regardless of what may happen. I’m in your debt. If there’s anything you need, just let me know._

                 _Xena_

                Underneath the signature was a phone number, and Gabrielle looked around the room for her cell phone. After finding it on the kitchen table, she added Xena to her contacts immediately then checked the time. It was almost nine-thirty, and she didn’t have class until noon. _Xena must be done with class by now; I should call and check on her._

                Gabrielle moved her thumb to press the “call” button, but then she second-guessed herself. _This is too strange. We haven’t even known each other a week and already I’ve managed to make her spew out her whole life story. She’s slept in my bed! If we were dating-_ Her train of thought was cut short when it reached that point, like it had short-circuited.

                Having been triggered, her mind went into overdrive, obsessing over every little detail about her and Xena’s time together. Every teasing look, every sideways glance, every sparkling smile. _Is she flirting with me? Am I flirting back? Are we doing this on purpose?_ Thoughts swirling wildly around in her head, Gabrielle decided she needed a second opinion and instead dialed her sister Lilla’s number.

                Lilla was always there for her, and Gabrielle waited anxiously for her to pick up. She rocked back and forth slightly, her impatience making her restless. A small click indicated that her call was being answered, and she nearly started speaking before she had even been greeted.

                “Hello?” Lilla said, sounding confused.

                “Lilla,” Gabrielle sighed, relieved, “I need to talk to you.”

                Even though Lilla was about a year younger, she had much more experience with relationships and had been dating her current boyfriend for almost three years.

                “What is it, Gabrielle? Is something wrong?”

                Gabrielle struggled to find the words to explain her dilemma, a problem she wasn’t usually faced with. “I’m confused, Lilla,” she finally said, “I have this friend and I have all these feelings and I don’t know if she-”

                 _“She?”_

                “That’s right, she- wants to be more than friends… And I don’t know if I do either.”

                Lilla was quiet for a moment, then she spoke in a tone of voice that let Gabrielle know she was completely willing to help her sort through all her feelings: “Tell me all about it.”

                Sighing, she started from the beginning. “It was a few days ago. I was walking to my dorm and these huge football players started following me. They kept yelling at me and I tried to ignore them, but they wouldn’t go away. So I tried to fight back-”

                “Of course you did,” Lilla laughed absentmindedly.

                “Hey, I was running out of options!” Gabrielle protested. “Anyway, so they surround me and I’m standing there quaking in my boots and the biggest one gets really close to me and starts really freaking me out. He just kept getting closer and was saying all this creepy stuff. I think he was planning on forcing himself on me, maybe him _and_ his friends.”

                A shudder passed through Gabrielle’s body at the thought before she could compose herself and continue. “And then out of nowhere this soccer ball hits him in the face. I couldn’t believe it! His nose started bleeding and he flipped out and as soon as I looked to see where the ball came from, there was this woman running at us.”

                “Was that your friend?” Lilla interjected enthusiastically, sounding genuinely absorbed in the story.

                “Yes,” Gabrielle responded, “and Lilla, you should have seen her. She was running so fast, I swear the second I blinked she was right beside me. She’s so tall and tan and muscular and her eyes…”

                She suddenly blanked on any words to describe Xena’s eyes, even though they were front and centre in her mind, irises burning with blue fire as she stared down the people who were trying to hurt her.

                “What about her eyes?” Lilla prompted her gently.

                Still at a loss for words, Gabrielle’s mouth seemed to bypass her mind and she blurted out: “They’re blue. Wait, that’s not what I meant! I mean, they are blue, but in that moment they were so… so…”

                “Intense?”

                “Yes! Well, sort of. Something more than that... ”

                The thought of Xena’s eyes made Gabrielle feel a little weak at the knees, and she shook the haze out of her head and sat down on the bed before continuing her story.

                “Anyway, she stares these guys down like they’re her worst enemy, no fear at all, and no pity either. She threatened them… well, not _threatened_ exactly- she just kind of made it clear that they better clear out- in a voice like ice. They panicked and ran away and then she looked at me so gently… I couldn’t believe she could make a face like that after the glares she was giving those jerks. She walked me home and told me her name was Xena. When she spoke then, her voice was so warm and smooth, just like music, but not quite like singing… maybe like a cello, just as rich but not so deep-”

                “Okay, Gabrielle, what happened next?” Lilla interrupted.

                Gabrielle could practically hear her rolling her eyes on the other end of the line. “And then she left.”

                Right after she said it, Gabrielle realised that the end of her story was incredibly anticlimactic, but there wasn’t much more she could tell, and she awaited Lilla’s response nervously, hoping she had conveyed at least part of what she felt.

                Lilla was quiet for a moment, then spoke excitedly, “oh, Gabrielle, you’ve really caught it for her, haven’t you?”

                Taken aback, Gabrielle’s mouth hung open and she blushed, “ _Lilla!_ I just told you, I’m not sure-”

                “Listen, I’m telling you: you’re sure. You’re into this girl! I heard you nearly melt trying to tell me what she looks like, so don’t deny it. She’s got a ‘voice like music’? Seriously? Come on, tell me more! Have you seen her again since then?”

                Breaking out of her previous cautiousness and allowing Lilla’s glee to fuel her own, Gabrielle smiled, “yeah, I spent the night at her place-”

                 _“Gabrielle!”_

                “On her couch! Calm down! She took me to this little independent bookstore but then the sky decided to open up and stay open all night so she invited me to stay with her and I did.”

                Gabrielle suddenly fell silent as she remembered the circumstances under which she’d last seen Xena. _I don’t have to tell her the_ whole _truth, I guess._ “We hung out last night too,” she said, trying to sound casual.

                “Oh come on, Gabrielle,” Lilla urged, “I’ve never known you to skimp on a story. What’d you do last night?”

                Closing her eyes, Gabrielle thought of the best way to lie using enough detail so that it sounded like the truth. “I went to go watch her at soccer practice- she’s a terrific midfielder- and she was playing a scrimmage with our school’s rival. Their captain’s a little crazy, like ridiculous-back-story troubling-past brings-bodily-harm-to-Xena-every-time-they-play crazy. She knocked into Xena really hard and she hit her head, so I took her home with me. It was really scary and I was worried she might have a concussion.”

                “Let me guess, she spent the night on your couch?” Lilla’s suggestive tone wasn’t helping; she knew full well that Gabrielle’s dorm didn’t contain a couch.

                Gabrielle covered her eyes in embarrassment as if her sister could see her through the phone, and through gritted teeth, responded, “no… she slept in my bed with me.”

                Lilla’s barking laughter made Gabrielle turn beet-red as she tried to defend herself, “it wasn’t like that! She was tired and hurt and was out in seconds! She slept so close to the edge of the bed that she didn’t even touch me.”

                The last statement, meant to be indignant, came out as a whine, and Gabrielle could hear Lilla snickering on the other end of the line. A faint voice called from somewhere on Lilla’s end, and she shouted something back.

                “Was that dad?” Gabrielle asked, recognizing the tone.

                “Yeah,” Lilla sighed, “I’ve gotta go. But don’t worry about anything. Honestly, it sounds to me like she’s into you, too. Bye, Gabrielle, I love you.”

                “Bye, love you too.”

                Lilla hung up and Gabrielle thought hard about what she had said.

                 _Lilla thinks she likes me? I’ve seen it too, but I thought I was just reading too much into it. She just makes my stomach all fluttery and I get this feeling… I guess I really do like Xena. I mean, who wouldn’t?_

                As soon as the thought occurred to Gabrielle, she felt a pang of jealousy. Her stomach felt a little queasy; the thought of Xena with anyone else just seemed so wrong. She let a sigh of melancholy escape her lips before she looked at the time. It’s only ten-thirty. I could call Xena.

                She stared at her phone for a while, contemplating all the different ways their conversation could go. _I wish I weren’t so nervous about talking to her. It’s just the way that she looks at me makes me feel something I’ve never felt before._ Closing her eyes tightly to clear her mind, she decided to shower, grab a cup of coffee, then head to class.

          Xena marched purposefully down the hall and towards her professor’s office. The dark wood paneling on the walls made the walkway feel austere, and was lit only by some wall lamps that closely resembled candelabras and must have been products of the late seventies. The offices were in the oldest building on campus, and the floor creaked slightly with about every third step Xena took.

          She was on her way to visit her teacher, with a burning curiosity in her mind and a heavy heart. The combination made it difficult to take care of either, but Xena tried her best to temporarily banish all thoughts of her personal life in order to satisfy her inquiring mind.

          Professor Ma’s office was the second to last on the right, and the closer Xena got, the slower she walked. Professor Ma didn’t like her students to be so wound up when they were trying to learn, and Xena quickly composed herself before knocking on the door. _Relax, it’s not like you’re asking her to go on an archaeological dig for you. You just want a simple question answered._

          But to Xena, the question didn’t seem so simple. On the contrary, it seemed all-important, and she was itching to know the answer and had been ever since she had first seen Gabrielle. The thought of Gabrielle made her heart ache and her head spin; she had left her number on the note for a reason.

          All day Xena had been hoping Gabrielle would call, or that they would bump into each other again and spend more time together.

          She wished she had someone close to her to confide in, but her relationships with her teachers and teammates were mostly professional, and she avoided anyone on the fighting scene as much as she could. The closest thing she had to a real friend was Professor Ma, and even still they were bonded more by a love for learning and for history than anything else.

          Before she could sulk any more, Professor Ma opened the door. “Ah, Xena!” she said delightedly, smiling, “please, come in!”

          Xena smiled back and bowed her head slightly, “thank you, Professor.”

          The office had the same dark wood paneling as in the hallway, but was decorated with a number of mismatched lamps to provide the room with light. Various pieces of art covered the walls, giving the room a cozy feel. Two velvet chairs faced each other in the centre of the room, one on either side of a coffee table with a beautiful tea set. The professor’s actual work desk was pressed against the back wall and covered with papers.

          Xena had always thought that there must be a method to her teacher’s organizational system, but to this day she didn’t know what it was.

          Since freshman year Xena had been frequenting Professor Ma’s office, for reasons ranging from the discussion of Greek literature to psychology and philosophy, and of course there were the occasional recreational visits to catch up or seek advice.

          The professor ushered Xena into a soft red-and-gold chair and immediately started pouring some tea, as she always did when her students dropped by.

          “So, Xena,” she said, handing her a teacup then settling into her own chair, “what have you got for me today?”

          Xena took a sip then looked at her professor. She had a calming quality about her, and a spark of not just intelligence, but _wisdom_ in her eyes. On top of that, it was clear that she genuinely cared about her students, and her office’s atmosphere made Xena feel that her words would be heard as if they were equals.

          “There’s this poem I found my freshman year here,” she began, fishing into her jacket pocket for the piece of paper she’d copied it down onto a few days earlier. “It was in a book of Sappho poetry in the bookshop right underneath my apartment, except I can’t find any evidence of the book anywhere on the internet and none of the other professors seem to know about it.”

          Professor Ma stared at Xena, her forehead wrinkled in concentration. “What’s this book called?”

          “It hasn’t got a name,” Xena said, her eyes lighting up with the joy of the conspiracy, “there’s no title on the front. It’s just this really old, leatherbound book that’s falling apart. I only know it’s by Sappho because there was an engraving on the inside cover with a violet and a Greek sigma with some other smudged letters.”

          Looking even more intrigued, Professor Ma gestured for the poem in Xena’s hand. Xena handed it over and watched, hands clenched tight, as she pored over the words on the paper.

          “It’s definitely Sappho,” Professor Ma announced after several minutes, “but not any Sappho I’ve ever heard. You're sure it's part of a book?”

          Xena nodded, “yes, and it’s all in ancient Greek, but the ink doesn’t look nearly that old.”

          Clearly thinking hard, Professor Ma mused aloud, “you know, Sappho sometimes did commissions… it’s possible that you found a collection of them. It even sounds like there may have been two authors: Sappho and whoever bought it. The structure’s like Sappho, but some of the word choices and the tone… As for the ink in the book being new, some archaeologist may have just copied the poems down a long time ago, without trying to translate them. If the book’s old enough, there’s a chance it’s not on record anywhere, but I have no clue how it could have ended up in the store beneath your apartment.”

          “What do we do about it?” Xena asked, “this has the potential to be a groundbreaking find!”

          “I’ve got a colleague who’s flying in from India for a conference in about a week,” Professor Ma responded, “she’s even more knowledgeable about these matters than I am. Will you buy the book and leave it with me until she gets here? Then we can all talk about it and if it is what we think it is, we can decide where to go from there.”

          Xena nodded again, “of course.” She stood up to leave, but was stopped by the professor’s voice.

          “Xena! I’m not finished with you yet. Please, have a seat.”

          Trying to judge her tone, Xena sat back down, ultimately deciding that she wasn’t in trouble. In fact, she detected a hint of curiosity and even concern in her teacher’s voice.

          “Tell me, Xena, why did you bring me this poem?”

          Xena wrinkled her forehead, confused. The strangeness of the question made her state her answer as a question as well, her voice deepening with skepticism: “Because I wanted to know where it came from?”

          “No, Xena. I meant why _this_ poem. You said it was part of a collection, but this one stood out to you. I know you, Xena. You like epic poems and tales of adventure; all the essays you’ve written for me have been about those. You choose one of them every time- but this is a love poem. Short and simple. A poem about the desperation of love… Slightly uncharacteristic for your personality. Why did it speak to you? And why did you wait until now to bring it to me?”

          Taken aback by the question, Xena gave her professor a guarded stare.

          Professor Ma’s expression was completely neutral, and then it softened, “I’m asking you not as your teacher, Xena, but as your friend. You looked weary and pained when I first saw you at my door, I could tell although you tried hard to conceal it. I wanted you to know that you can talk to me.”

          Xena let the words sink in and thought of Gabrielle again, her heart feeling like it might burst. Suddenly on the verge of falling apart, she put her head in her hands and did her best to regulate her breathing. _You are_ not _going to cry,_ she commanded herself, inhaling deeply. She looked up but away from her teacher and spoke quietly, as if she didn’t want the walls to hear her confession.

          “I’m in love. I found that poem when I first went to that bookshop freshman year and I couldn’t stop reading it. It just seemed important. I didn’t understand why until just a few days ago when I met Gabrielle. I feel like it has something to do with her. It’s surreal, Professor. She makes me want to be a better person, to leave behind all my past mistakes. That poem is exactly how I feel for her, almost like I wrote it myself. And I don’t know if she can love me back. I know it sounds foolish, but I have this feeling like we’re meant to be together.”

          Professor Ma looked at her, a twinkle in her eye as she smiled. “No, I don’t think that sounds foolish at all.”

           _I’ve called my sister. I’ve gone to class. I got coffee with some friends. I did laundry. I cleaned up my dorm. I’ve done all the studying I could possibly do. I still don’t feel better._

          Gabrielle walked home from a meeting with her English Lit study group, shuffling her feet on the sidewalk and pouting. Her hands stuffed in the pockets of her sage-coloured sweater, she decided enough was enough: she would call Xena and they would spend more time together. After all, Xena owed her and couldn’t refuse.

          A flutter of anxiety crossed Gabrielle’s mind when she remembered the last time she’d seen Xena. _God, I hope her head’s alright. She got hit pretty hard and seemed so out of it. She’d better not blow me off again for another little stint at the friendly neighbourhood fight club._

          Her ideas of Xena’s brawls quickly went off to the races; one train of thought led to another and she found herself posing even more questions she didn’t have the answer to.

           _How often does she fight? Is it once a week? Monday, Wednesday, Friday? Only every so often? Does she fight multiple people at a time? Only men? What if she’s already sustained permanent brain damage? Does she actually enjoy fighting? Am I prepared to handle being around someone who seems to always be in some kind of physical danger? Do I need to toughen up? Not that she needs protecting, but maybe just knowing I’ve got her back will calm her down…_

          Her mind made up, Gabrielle decided that Xena would have to open up to her again- and teach her how to fight, but just a little.

          Finally breaking her intense gaze at the ground in front of her and looking up, Gabrielle almost had a heart attack at what she saw: A huge man seemed to have just appeared right in front of her. Completely clad in black, he stood with his feet shoulder length apart, his arms crossed, and his head cocked slightly forward and to one side. His thick, dark hair shone with product, and his face was contorted into a menacing scowl.

          He inspired a sense of instability in Gabrielle, like she couldn’t quite trust her legs to hold her up or the ground not to give out. She could tell nothing good could come of his presence, but got the sense that his business with her was nothing like the jocks that Xena had rescued her from.

          Feeling a little dizzy, she collected herself and stood her ground. “Who are you? What do you want?” She hoped she sounded curt, but the apprehension in her voice couldn’t be hidden.

          The man’s face twisted into something between a smirk and a sneer, and Gabrielle imagined that it was exactly the sort of smile a crocodile would give its prey before closing in for the kill. He reached out for her hand, kissed it, and bowed slightly. The attempt at charm made her feel even more uneasy.

          “The name’s Aaron,” he said in a suave yet gravelly voice, “and as for what I want… well, it hasn’t really got all that much to do with you.”

          Gabrielle shot him a look of skepticism and he continued, pacing in semicircles around her like a wolf playing with its food.

          “You see, I’ve noticed you spending an awful lot of time with a certain star soccer player… and champion brawler.”

          Gabrielle digested his words, her eyes widening, _he knows Xena’s secret!_

          “Oh, yeah,” he went on, “I know all about that little scheme- just as well- I _made_ her. She was just a kid, but, man did she have fire! And she’s only gotten stronger.”

          Her thoughts swirling around in her head, Gabrielle struggled to figure out how she fit into the picture this stranger was painting.

          “Listen,” his voice grew even deeper and more serious, “Xena’s at the top of her game right now and I can’t have you screwing that up for me. So I’d really appreciate it if you’d just back off. I don’t want you; I want you gone. And I’d hate to have to do it myself, but at the same time, I wouldn’t hesitate. Got it?”

          Gabrielle nodded, overwhelmed.

          Aaron smiled wickedly and strode off. Without his odd dizzying effect, his swagger seemed so exaggerated that it bordered on comical.

          As soon as he was out of sight, Gabrielle snapped back to herself, her fear temporarily dulled and her determination shining through.

           _Stay away from Xena? Yeah, right! Who does he think he is? How do I know he doesn’t want me gone just so he can hurt her? I have to warn her- no, I have to_ defend _her. We’ll both be better off if we’re together. I can’t wait anymore._

          Fueled by a mixture of terror and protectiveness, she took off running back to her dorm, removing her hands from her pockets and letting the cold air bite at her cheeks. She ran steadily all the way up the stairs and down her hall, threw open her door, then shut herself in.

          Making sure the door was locked behind her and dialing Xena’s number, she tried to slow her breathing and held her phone up to her ear.

          It rang once… twice… three times… and then finally the unmistakable sound of Xena’s voice floated, slightly garbled, through the speakers.

          “Hello? Gabrielle?”

          “Xena!” All Gabrielle’s attempts to appear calm failed as she couldn’t hide the urgency in her voice. “Xena, you’ve got to come over right now! Wait till you get here to ask questions.”

          There was a split second of hesitation, and then “I’ll be there in five.” Click.

          Gabrielle exhaled a sigh of relief. Xena’s voice had been deeply serious; it was clear she wasn’t going to take the situation lightly.

          Even still, the longer she wasn’t there, the more anxious Gabrielle became, pacing around her dorm and looking at the door constantly. She wasn’t sure who she was more on the lookout for, Xena or Aaron.

          The very thought of those five minutes made her hands shake with fear. She needed Xena with her immediately, to protect her and to be protected by her.

           _Aaron could get to Xena in five minutes. He could come back here in five minutes. It takes ten minutes to get from Xena’s place to mine- I should know, I had to pay the cab fare._

          She would have gone on worrying if it weren’t for the pounding on the door, “Gabrielle!”

          The voice belonged to Xena.

          Gabrielle rushed to open the door, and the moment it was even slightly cracked, Xena burst in and shut it behind her. “What’s wrong? What happened?” she panted, grabbing Gabrielle’s arms and stroking her cheek, her face clouded with worry and fear.

          Gabrielle’s knees suddenly felt weak and she fell speechless in Xena’s arms. The longer the words didn’t come, the more frightened Xena looked, so Gabrielle improvised, throwing her arms around the taller woman’s neck and burying her face in her collar.

          She breathed deeply a moment and allowed herself to calm down, taking comfort in Xena’s smoky scent and strong arms.

          “I’m sorry,” she finally said, “I was just so afraid.”

          “Afraid?”

          Gabrielle let Xena lead her away from the door and to the bed, sitting down beside her. She had held it together, at least for the most part, but she felt that with Xena by her side, it was safe to fall apart. Xena continued to fawn over her even as she spoke, brushing her rough hands through her hair and down her cheeks.

          “I was on my way home from the café,” Gabrielle said between shallow breaths, leaning her face into Xena’s hand in an almost catlike manner, “and this man showed up. He was big and wore all black and he said his name was Aaron-”

           _“Aaron!”_

          Gabrielle had never heard so much surprise and so much fury in anyone’s voice before, and she met Xena’s eyes, which had narrowed to slits.

          “What did he want with you?” Xena growled, grabbing Gabrielle’s hands and holding them tightly. The strong reaction frightened Gabrielle, but Xena evidently had picked up on it; she relaxed just a bit and let Gabrielle take her time with a response.

          “I’m still not really sure,” she finally answered, “he just told me to stay away from you… He said the strangest things- he knows your secret, Xena, about the fighting- he says he _made_ you. And then he _threatened_ me. What’s he talking about? Who is he?”

          Xena closed her eyes and held her breath, and Gabrielle looked on expectantly.

          “I hoped you would never have to meet him,” Xena sighed, her voice tinged with regret. “In a sense, he’s right; he did make me. After my brother’s death, he just sort of appeared. Suggested I learn to fight to defend myself. So I did.

          "I wasn’t completely honest with you before. After I stopped doing martial arts, I didn’t just learn the rest on my own. He taught me, and had me put my own spin on some of his moves- made me feel like I had a gift, a calling- made me feel special. He started setting up bouts that I’d earn money for, and I just went right along with it, thought it was the only way to help my family.”

          She paused and Gabrielle squeezed her hands gently in encouragement. Xena smiled lightly and continued, “I was so young, Gabrielle. He put all these ideas into my head, ideas about power and anger and hate. I couldn’t resist him- I just didn’t know better. He used me… in a lot of ways. Seemed to get off on watching me pulverize men twice my size. After a fight, I could never escape him.

          "When I left home for college, I thought maybe he’d go away, but he just followed me. I’ve gotten strong enough- in will and in body- to fight him off after every bout but… he’s always there. It’s exhausting. Guess he’s got nothing better to do.”

          Xena fell silent again, and Gabrielle knew she’d get no more without some prompting.

          “But you’re not a hateful person, Xena. At least not with me.”

          Staring at the wall opposite her, Xena responded: “About six months ago, I started to come to my senses. See things differently than the picture he painted. I’d almost completely cut ties by about three months ago, but he’d still come to all my fights, try to… twist my mind after. Play games with me. You’ve been in his presence, you know how… unsettling it can be. I was just about ready to stop resisting him… ”

          Xena trailed off and looked over at Gabrielle with an expression of infinite tenderness, her blue eyes shimmering like stars. “You changed me, Gabrielle. I can’t explain it, but when I saw you for the first time and you were in danger… I got that feeling like I got when the thief was trying to hurt my family… but stronger. Something just came over me. I wasn’t thinking about myself at all. Just you. You made me want to keep fighting- not literally, just… keep resisting him, trying to get away from his scene. Then when you followed me to my bout underground and dragged me out… you couldn’t have known exactly what you were protecting me from, but you didn’t even blink. What you did was dangerous and you hardly seemed to notice. I can’t fall for Aaron’s charms anymore. They don’t work, not now that you’ve changed my heart. In a way, you rescued me more than I rescued you.”

          Gabrielle struggled to process Xena’s words, holding her gentle but passionate gaze. Something in her mind slid into place, like a needle falling into the grooves of a record that’s been played over and over.

          She leaned forward, and spoke at just above a whisper, as if she’d just recalled a simple fact learned long ago that she couldn’t believe she’d forgotten. “I love you, Xena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Just a heads-up: if this chapter seems a little shorter than the others, you're not crazy, it actually is. I'm trying to let the story develop as organically as possible, and when a stopping point rears its head, I feel compelled to obey. Next week's chapter will probably be about the same length, but then we'll return to normal. Also, I'd just like to say thanks to everyone who reads and leaves Kudos; it really makes me happy to know people are enjoying this. 2am gets an extra-special thanks for leaving a really sweet comment and fueling my validation addiction. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging long! Until next week!
> 
> -Ky


	4. Quiet Confessions (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xena copes with Gabrielle's rather impulsive declaration; they both have a lot of feelings.

          Xena felt like she’d been struck by a club. The pit of her stomach tightened as her breath shortened, her mind growing fuzzy with disbelief. _Did I really just hear those words?_ The world seemed to have stopped turning just for a moment, and now she was trying to reorient herself.

          She felt a faint burning sensation in the back of her mind, and it grew hotter and larger until she could finally identify it. Her face grew flushed with fury and pain as she stared at Gabrielle with wide eyes, as if she’d just shot her.

           _She’s_ toying _with me._ Mocking _me. She knows all about my past so she must know my present- she knows I love her! And she’s throwing it in my face like it’s a joke._

          But the moment she thought it, Xena knew it couldn’t be true. Gabrielle wasn’t like that, and she wallowed a moment in guilt.

          Then a different kind of anger gripped her, an anger directed towards all the people she’d known in her life who’d used and exploited her. Now she’d grown so wary of love that her heart seemed to reject it as much as her mind.

          The only ‘I love you’s she’d ever heard had been tipped with poison that soaked through her bloodstream and made her think that this was the guy or the girl who really cared- only for them to get whatever they wanted out of her and disappear. She’d be left hurt, and only more enticing for the next person to come along. But after a while, the joke was on them.

          After growing so accustomed to hollow declarations of love fueled only by greed, she grew stronger and harder, learning to cheat them at their own game. She could use their confidence that she was lesser to manipulate them right back, with infinitely more cunning, and gain the power without experiencing the pain.

          Xena simmered in her hatred, _It’s all Aaron’s fault. If he hadn’t come along out of nowhere, I wouldn’t be like this. All defensive and paranoid and in denial. Why can’t I just believe her?_

          It was Aaron who had coaxed her away from her family, into a vortex in which she couldn’t lose, but couldn’t stop either. All the would-be lovers she’d had were no more than pawns or puppet-masters.

          Her head hurt as it struggled against itself, hell-bent on protecting her from any harm. The place on her forehead where she’d been hit in her last fight throbbed, and she instinctively lifted a hand to press against it. As soon as it passed in front of her face, she saw that it was trembling, and the fuzzy feeling in her mind fell away as she became self-aware once again.

          Her whole body quivered, and her eyes threatened to let loose rivers of hot, angry, confused tears. She finally noticed that Gabrielle had stopped her forward motion.

          She saw fear in her glistening blue-green eyes, and cried out regretfully in her mind. _No! This wasn’t what I meant! I can’t believe I let myself go down that path right in front of her._

          Xena started working herself up even more, but the building chaos in her mind fell apart when she felt a gentle touch on her wrist. Gabrielle’s expression had changed from panic to sympathy, and the tenderness with which she looked at Xena made her heart feel like it might burst.

          “I know how you must feel,” Gabrielle said softly, “you’ve been hurt and manipulated before, and I don’t know if you or I can ever truly heal that.” Her voice suddenly took on an incredibly confident tone, “but strange and soon as it may seem, this is real. I’ve never met anyone like you. When I’m with you, I feel so safe and secure, like I’ve come home after years of just wandering aimlessly. Like I’ve been waiting for you to add that extra spark to my life, that… _adventure_. If you were to leave, I’d follow you. I _need_ to be with you, Xena. I have this feeling like we’re meant to be together.”

          Xena gasped quietly, marveling at how Gabrielle echoed the words she had said to her teacher just hours ago. Her body ached as her anger disappeared, leaving her exhausted and relieved. Gabrielle had quieted her mind, something that she didn’t think was possible until it happened, and she finally found the courage to speak.

          “I love you too, Gabrielle.”

          Her voice broke upon saying Gabrielle’s name, but it had been enough.

          Gabrielle’s eyebrows raised slightly, an expression of wonder spreading over her face. Cautiously, Xena reached out and brushed the back of her hand against Gabrielle’s cheek. Gabrielle closed her eyes, smiling peacefully, giving her the confidence to go one step further.

          Xena slid her hand down the length of Gabrielle’s jaw and used her index finger to tip her chin up just slightly and bring her closer. When their lips were about an inch apart, Gabrielle opened her eyes and stared into Xena’s. Startled by their intensity, Xena stopped, worried that she was going too far.

          Their faces hovered there a moment, then, to Xena’s surprise, Gabrielle slowly shut her eyes and closed the gap between them. Gentle as the kiss was, it sent shocks through Xena’s body. The electricity was jarring, and she closed her eyes, bathing in ecstasy. Their lips lingered a long while and Xena felt dizzy, overwhelmed by the sensation.

          She pulled away a moment, then parted her lips just slightly and pressed them to Gabrielle’s again. Once. Twice. Three times. Each touch brought an increasingly addictive current, and Xena could hardly stand pulling away even to breathe.

          She had no idea how much time had passed when they finally stopped.

          She opened her eyes first then saw Gabrielle open hers, her blissful, breathless expression making her heart race even faster.

          The sun had set and the dorm was lit only by a desk lamp that sat across the room; the dim lighting made all colours seem muted and dreamlike. Gabrielle whispered, breaking Xena out of her trance: “will you stay?”

          Confused, Xena searched the words for hidden meaning. _I thought I just told her I would?_ She puzzled a while longer before reaching a conclusion. _She needs me to tell her how I feel- out loud. She’s a writer; she has to hear things put into words to understand them._ Xena suddenly grew frustrated. _I’m not all that good with words… at least, not the sensitive kind. But I’ll be damned if I don’t try._

          Unsure of how to match a mind like Gabrielle’s, Xena thought hard about the best way to help her understand. Her life hadn’t taught her much tenderness, but the little art she’d seen had, and finally she mustered up some courage and spoke warmly:

          “There’s this story I heard a long time ago, in my first class on my first day of university. It’s an old Greek myth that says that people were first made with two heads and four legs. Then the gods sent down lightning and split them in half. But when they were separated, their souls were torn in two-”

          Gabrielle interjected, sounding hopeful, “and then they had to spend the rest of their lives searching for the other half.”

          Xena grinned shyly, looking at her hands. She licked her lips and then looked back up at Gabrielle, “the point being: I will never leave you. I can’t, we’re…”

          The final word Xena had meant to say wouldn’t come; it had disappeared and gotten lost in the realm on the tip of her tongue. Still, Gabrielle beamed, radiating joy.

           _I think I did alright,_ Xena sighed internally, _that went over much better than I thought it would._

          “And here I was thinking I was the only poet among us,” Gabrielle chuckled.

          “Well,” Xena smirked, letting Gabrielle’s praise build up her confidence, “I have many skills.”

          Gabrielle stared into Xena’s eyes, the playful smirk that danced across her face making her feel weak. _This is too surreal… I must be dreaming._ Gabrielle maneuvered her hand over to her opposite wrist, giving it a pinch as subtly as she could. _Ow. Okay, not a dream. I suppose Lilla was right about Xena. I can’t believe I couldn’t see it! She loves me._

          Her thoughts drifted over Xena’s actions the past few days: her charming, warm personality that could be instantly pushed aside by curtness, the dark side and the vulnerability she’d tried so hard to cover up, and the way she’d slept right on the edge of the bed. Gabrielle breathed a single, bewildered chuckle.

           _She was_ nervous! _Out of all the people in the world for her to be nervous around, she’s nervous around me._

          She scooted closer to Xena, determined to make her cautiousness disappear. Resting her head on Xena’s shoulder, Gabrielle sighed and accepted the gentle stroking of Xena’s hand in her golden hair. She felt a tightness grow in Xena’s chest, almost as if she could feel her voice building up inside of her. “Uh, Gabrielle?” she finally said timidly.

          “Mmm-hmm?”

          “Considering I’m staying the night here… you wouldn’t happen to have an extra toothbrush, would ya?”

          Gabrielle busted out laughing; she’d been expecting a much more troubling concern to arise, and Xena stared at her, looking half amused and half lost.

          “That’s the burning issue on your mind right now?” Gabrielle asked between giggles, “We’ve spontaneously professed our undying love and you’re concerned about your dental hygiene?”

          Her mind soon zeroed in on a possible flaw in her words, _did I really just say ‘undying love’? Is that too intense? God, I don’t want to freak her out._

          Xena seemed to catch on to Gabrielle’s train of thought, her lips spreading into a wide grin and a chortle escaping her throat, “I’ve got no worries about us, Gabrielle, but you might not be too happy if we wake up tomorrow and I’ve got horrible morning breath.”

          Gabrielle shook her head, smiling, “not even that could come between us- but there’s an unopened toothbrush under the sink.”

          She kissed Xena lightly then had to restrain herself from taking it any further. Any contact with Xena made her skin tingle and cry out for more, and she forced herself to stay still while Xena stood up and walked into the bathroom in search of the coveted toothbrush, shutting the door behind her.

          Gabrielle allowed herself to exhale. She could still feel Xena’s lips on her own, slightly swollen from the little tugs from Xena’s teeth and tender from the amount of times she’d sucked the bottom one into her mouth. Inhaling, she caught the lingering scent of Xena’s skin, and her muscles relaxed at the smoky aroma.

           _God, I could get used to this. She always smells like she’s just been tending to a fire, even though she lives in the city. I wonder if she camps a lot. I’ve never really gone camping, at least not in the woods… I don’t even know how to pitch a tent!_

          Gabrielle thought back to her childhood home and the pretend “campouts” she and Lilla used to have in their backyard. Their father would set up a little tent- complete with sleeping bags, a compass, and flashlights for the complete “wilderness experience”- and roast hot dogs and marshmallows in the fire pit.

          A wave of nostalgia rushed over her as she thought back on how easy everything was then. Her family had been a little suburban dream, with a hardworking father and stay-at-home mom, and two little angelic daughters to top it all off.

          Gabrielle had been close with her family until she was about twelve. Then she was assigned to present _Jane Eyre_ for a book report, and everything changed. She had always been an avid reader, but had never read anything quite like it; and it stoked her passion to become a writer and to consume more and more sophisticated works of literature- which expressed opinions that occasionally did not mirror her father’s- and she learned to parrot them for a while, before she could really sort through what she believed and what she didn’t.

          Her father was furious that his daughter was deviating from the future he had imagined for her, and it only made her fight back more fervently. Occasionally, her mother would get in the middle of their fights, but it only served to estrange her from her husband.

           _“He’s just a tad set in his ways, dear,”_ Gabrielle could clearly remember her mother saying with a blank look on her face, _“he’ll come around eventually.”_ He didn’t.

          Gabrielle was just glad that Lilla had turned out to be the perfect daughter; it took a little of the pressure off her. Still, it didn’t stop him from making passive-aggressive statements over Thanksgiving dinner.

          Her blood boiled at the comments her father had made this year; it was clear he was hoping that the silver lining to allowing her to attend college would be that she’d meet a nice guy who made good money so she could abandon her studies to marry him. She suddenly grew pale at the thought of having to explain her relationship with Xena.

           _How am I supposed to get through Christmas back home? I had to break it to my dad that I’m an agnostic when he tried to made me say grace before every meal- he can’t even stand the fact that I’m out getting a higher education instead of at home in the kitchen, what’ll he do if I bring home my ultimate-fighter girlfriend?_

          She jolted a bit, surprised. Xena was her girlfriend, right? That was what they had just decided?

           _I don’t remember her actually asking me out… or me asking her- don’t tell me I read the signals all wrong and this is really just… friends with benefits! Okay, not “benefits” exactly, we didn’t have sex. But does she want to? She’s staying the night; is sex just a part of that for her?_

          Gabrielle shifted anxiously, racking her brain about what Xena had planned for the rest of the evening. She certainly wasn’t opposed to the idea of sex with Xena, it was just that, well, she wasn’t sure how to.

           _They practically teach you how to do it with a guy in middle school. It’s in the textbooks! This is different, though… and I want to be ready. I won’t do this tonight. I hope she understands._

          But the more she thought about Xena, her intense blue eyes, her muscular frame, and her rough but gentle hands, the more attractive the idea of sex became. She felt her skin grow a little flushed and her core throb slightly. _Not tonight… but soon. Definitely soon._

          At that moment, Xena emerged from the bathroom, and Gabrielle’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. Sauntering over, she planted a kiss on Gabrielle, who gave a little squeak of surprise, then let herself melt in Xena’s arms.

          “How was that? Better?” Xena grinned impishly.

          Gabrielle nodded slowly, still recovering, “mmm-hmm. Minty fresh.”

          She stood up from the bed and paced towards her desk, trying unsuccessfully to appear casual, “so, uh, Xena… what do you wanna do tonight? Anything in particular?”

          “Well,” Xena responded, apparently oblivious to Gabrielle’s implication, “I thought we could just talk a while longer and then get some sleep. It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted.”

          “Oh,” Gabrielle blinked, trying not to sound too surprised, “that sounds good. You don’t have anything to sleep in, do you? Here, I’ll try to find something that’ll fit you.”

          Blushing, she hurriedly turned her back towards Xena and rummaged through her dresser, _of course_ she’s _just thinking about getting some rest and_ I’m _the one with my mind in the gutter._ She produced some sweatpants that she’d accidentally ordered a size too big and never bothered to exchange and a t-shirt that fit her pretty loosely and offered them to Xena, who started to make her way back towards the bathroom.

          “No, Xena,” Gabrielle put a hand on her arm, “you can change in here- I’ve still got to brush my teeth.” Xena nodded and moved out of the way, and Gabrielle slipped into the bathroom and shut the door, still flustered.

          She went through her nightly routine quickly, brushing her teeth, combing her hair, and washing her face before changing into her pyjamas that she kept folded on the counter.

          She lingered in front of the mirror a while, wondering if Xena would care that her sleep apparel wasn’t all that fancy. The flannel pants she wore in the winter were a modest red plaid, and her light blue shirt fell just slightly off her shoulders, exposing her collarbones.

           _I guess it’s not that bad. I could be one of those people who sleeps in horribly stained old clothes… or socks._

          She turned on her heel and made her way back into the main room. Looking up at Xena, she nearly had a heart attack and covered her eyes. “Oh, sorry!” she shouted, “I thought you’d be done by now!”

          Xena stood in the centre of the room in Gabrielle’s sweatpants, which weren’t quite long enough to reach her ankles, and a sports bra.

          Turning red, Gabrielle tried to keep her eyes shut. Come on, mind over matter. She felt Xena’s hand on her wrist, pulling her hands away from her face. “It’s alright, you can open your eyes. That shirt really wasn’t going to fit me and I don’t usually sleep in one anyway… besides, you’ve seen me like this before; I fight in a sports bra and spandex.”

          Gabrielle opened one eye, “yeah, but that time I was too focused on the blood gushing from your head to even really notice your-” She cut herself off mid-sentence, eyes widening with embarrassment.

          Xena seemed to be enjoying it; she shot Gabrielle a suggestive look, “notice my what, Gabrielle?” She stepped even closer.

          Pulling herself together, Gabrielle met Xena’s eyes confidently, “you just have a very muscular stomach, that’s all.”

          Xena raised an eyebrow but Gabrielle stood her ground, holding her gaze as confidently as possible. Just as Gabrielle was about to relinquish self-control, Xena gave up, winking knowingly before turning around. “So which side do you sleep on?” she asked lightly.

          “What?”

          “Of the bed. You must have a side.”

          “Oh.”

          Gabrielle hadn’t ever really put much thought into it; she’d always slept by herself with the exception of the previous night. Even sleepovers as a child usually involved sleeping bags on the basement floor.

          “The right side,” she responded after escaping her brief mental tangent.

          “Good. I’ve always been on the left.”

          “Would you make me switch if I were on the left, too?” Gabrielle asked teasingly, not really concerned about the actual answer.

          “No,” Xena said, “I would’ve just slept on top of you.”

          Gabrielle’s eyes snapped up to the back of Xena’s head, surprised.

          “Just kidding.” Xena looked over her shoulder and grinned, making Gabrielle laugh with tentative relief. _Is she trying to drop some hints here?_

          “Come on,” Xena chuckled, setting her mind at ease, “let’s get some rest.”

          Gabrielle watched Xena slip under the sheets as she turned off her lamp, _she’s pressing up against the wall again._ This time, she saw it as a challenge.

          Slightly disoriented in the dark of the dorm, Gabrielle shuffled over to the bed and climbed in beside Xena. She lay there quietly a moment, listening to the sound of Xena’s breathing, then inched towards her until their backs were touching. She felt the muscles in Xena’s shoulders tense.

           _She’s really got to learn to relax. I should try to get her talking, maybe that’ll help._

          “You’re my girlfriend, right, Xena?” Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best start.

          “Yes,” Xena replied cautiously, “unless I’m missing something.”

          “No, I was just worried that I might be.”

          “Don’t ever worry about that. I love you, Gabrielle.”

          Gabrielle’s heart fluttered at the sound of Xena’s words, and at the way she could feel them vibrating just slightly on her back.

          “I love you, Xena.”

          Silence again. She didn’t want to move too fast with Xena, but she needed her to calm down. _Her shoulders are still so tense. Maybe if I just…_

          “Xena, roll over.”

          “What?”

          “Just trust me.”

          Xena thought carefully over Gabrielle’s words. _She asked me to trust her. That wasn’t by accident._ Lifting the sheets a little to keep them from tangling, Xena obeyed. She stared at the back of Gabrielle’s head, awaiting some form of reaction.

          Gabrielle reached back and fumbled around a moment before finding Xena’s hand, which she then latched onto.She kept still as Gabrielle pulled her arm over her shoulders, inhaling sharply then holding her breath, braced for any secondary action. But Gabrielle simply nestled her body against Xena’s, her tiny frame fitting in perfectly alongside her.

          “Breathe, Xena. You’re not breathing.”

          She exhaled loudly to prove that she was following directions. Taking deep breaths, she found herself surrounded by Gabrielle’s scent, something like honey and pine and that smell that just seemed to linger in the air during summertime.

           _She’s just got a way about her. And a way with me… There’s something I’m still missing… What is it?_

          That something still nagged at her mind, very present but unidentifiable. Everything she’d been experiencing lately wasn’t like the Xena that had existed before; she’d never felt compelled to rescue anyone since she failed to save her brother, although there were numerous times she probably could have. And she certainly didn’t believe in love at first sight, but Gabrielle had changed all of that. She felt almost like a completely different person.

           _What is it about her? It’s like I know her, and yet… she’s nearly a stranger to me._

          “Gabrielle, when’s your birthday?”

          “My birthday?”

          Xena had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she’d forgotten to provide Gabrielle with context, “you know all about my past, I’d like to know yours.”

          “Oh. June nineteenth. Anything else in particular or do you feel like you know me inside and out now?”

          Xena kneed her playfully and racked her brain; she really did want to know everything about Gabrielle, to understand her. _I suppose that will all come with time. I’d better start small._

          “What were you like as a kid?”

          Space filled the air a moment, not the silence of someone lost in their own mind, but the pause before a thought makes its way out into the open.

          “Depends on what part of my childhood you look at. My parents say that when I was really young I was quiet and shy. Then when my sister learned to walk and talk and started to be able to play with me, I livened up. I made up stories to tell her and we used to play these elaborate games I made up. Apparently we got pretty rowdy. I loved reading, though, too and I could write for hours… of course spelling was a learned behaviour.”

          Xena listened intently; committing everything Gabrielle said to memory and trying not to stray too far from the narrative Gabrielle was building. “What’s your sister’s name?”

          “Lilla. She’s a year younger. We were really close growing up, then when I started junior high we… drifted apart some. We managed to pull it back together before I left for college, though. She’s always there when I need her.”

          Gabrielle’s words weren’t particularly unusual; everyone went through something similar at that age, but the tone with which she spoke seemed uncharacteristically dark.

          “What happened in junior high?”

          Xena could feel Gabrielle’s hesitation in the air, and was nearly about to change the subject when she answered. “My father is… traditional. I was just starting to form my own opinions based on what I’d been reading… He couldn’t handle that I might not see the world the same way he does and sort of turned my sister on me before she could even learn to be independent. He monitored everything I read, so of course I didn’t read _anything_ for the longest time. It was like I wasn’t welcome in my own home. That was when I really dove into writing, to tell the stories I knew he was keeping from me. And my mother did what she could, but… there wasn’t anything she could do to stop him. It was his house. His rules.”

          Xena felt as if she’d been struck by an arrow. _How could anyone not see that Gabrielle’s the most precious thing in all the world? How could he try to stifle her like that?_ She noticed how Gabrielle shifted just slightly to rub her own wrists and brush the side of her face.

          They lay there quietly for several minutes before Xena put all the pieces together. The realisation slowly dawned on her, and with it came a wave of rage and fierce protectiveness.

           _He used to_ strike _her! For all I know, he still does!_

          She pulled Gabrielle closer instinctively, shielding her from any danger, and kissed the top of her head gently. Gabrielle squirmed against her in contentment, making the corners of her lips twitched upwards into a smile. She had never seemed more fragile than she did now.

          “Xena, do you have class tomorrow morning?” Gabrielle’s voice slurred with an exhausted lilt, and Xena answered gently, “No, I don’t have any classes at all.”

          No response. The question struck her as slightly odd, and, worried that Gabrielle would soon be asleep before she could pursue her line of inquiry, she asked why.

          “Because I didn’t want you to disappear and just leave a note.”

          Xena’s heart stuttered; had that hurt Gabrielle’s feelings? She wanted to tell Gabrielle so much, that she’d never hurt her and would always protect her, that her father had no right to put his hands on her, that she’d wring his neck if she ever found evidence he’d done it again- but she could tell that Gabrielle was falling asleep too rapidly.

           _She can’t handle much more conversation right now. Besides, I can’t change anything that happened to her, or take back leaving without saying goodbye- but I can try something different._  
“I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise.”

          Gabrielle gave an unintelligible but pleased-sounding murmur, and Xena felt her breathing slow down. _She’s asleep._

          Cocooned in the warmth of the sheets, Xena obeyed the commands of her heavy eyelids, and within just seconds, calmly drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update and miniature nature of this chapter; I was afflicted with a small blight of writer's block and more homework than it should be legal to assign- but we should be back to normal next week! Hope you're all enjoying it! Thanks for reading!
> 
> -ky


	5. Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabrielle gets all hot and bothered, Callie might be more than just a side character, and Xena can't cook.

_A soft, rhythmic, metallic sound cut through the silence in the air. Gabrielle had been sleeping restlessly, and quiet as the scraping was, it was enough to rouse her. She opened her eyes much more quickly than usual and turned her head. “Do you have to do that now?” she groaned._

_“I’m sorry,” a silken voice responded, “I’m just restless.”_

_Xena sat a ways away, clad in brown leather mail and intricate golden armour. Across her legs lay a sword, and she sharpened it obsessively, her eyes far off on the distant horizon, waiting for the sun. For now, though, the sky was a dark, deep shade of indigo, and the stars’ light seemed almost blinding against their rich background._

_Gabrielle stood up from where she lay on the ground in her bedroll, pacing over to close the distance between Xena and herself. “Xena,” she whispered softly, coaxing the woman out of her thoughts, “you can’t stay awake all night. Please, love, come to bed.” She slid her hands gently around Xena’s shoulders and back, removing her armour and feeling her muscles relax at her touch._

_Xena looked up at her and smiled softly, her eyes rivaling the starry skies’ beauty. Gabrielle gingerly removed the sword from Xena’s hands, then tugged at them slightly. Xena abandoned her weapon and allowed herself to be led down onto the blankets in the grass, letting out a sigh._

_A breeze blew in from the east, and Gabrielle propped herself up on one elbow, her short, blonde hair whipping around her face. “You’re not tired, are you?” she said, her tone half-accusing and half-amused._

_“Not exactly,” Xena breathed, shaking her head, “my mind is, but my body’s…”_

_“Jittery?” Gabrielle offered._

_Xena nodded._

_“Let’s see if I can’t do anything about that,” Gabrielle whispered in her ear, slowly climbing on top of her. She pressed her lips tenderly against Xena’s, trying to keep the passion building up inside of her in check. Her hands wandered through Xena’s dark hair first, then down to her shoulders to slip off her leather straps. She moved her mouth down to kiss Xena’s collarbones and reached to slide the remainder of her leathers down, greeting every newly exposed inch of skin with a touch of her lips._

_She began to remove her own top, unlacing it from the back and tossing it to the side. Xena arched her back and sat up slightly to bring her face to Gabrielle’s breasts, but she stopped her, pressing a single finger into her sternum and forcing her back onto the ground._

_“Did I say you were allowed to touch me yet?” Gabrielle said, a slight husky tone making its way into her voice. Xena smirked up at her, shaking her head. “That’s what I thought.”_

_She pinned Xena’s hands to the ground, kissing her long and deep, then moved slowly down the length of her torso, leaving no part of her neglected. Shifting her position so that her head was level with Xena’s hips, Gabrielle planted teasing kisses on the insides of her thighs, making them quiver just slightly. She could feel the heat radiating from Xena’s core and poised to give her what she wanted. As she hovered right above Xena’s centre, drawing out the tension in the air, she heard a shaky, pleading whisper: “Gabrielle.”_

Gabrielle’s eyes flew open and she gasped in shock.

“I’m sorry,” she heard Xena whisper, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to see if you were awake.” But Gabrielle wasn’t so sure she was. She stared at the room around her. The standard grey of the walls seemed even more muted than usual in comparison to the scene she’d just experienced.

Disconcerted, she focused instead on her other senses, the most glaringly obvious being touch. Xena’s arms were still around her shoulders, providing a comforting weight, and her tan skin was unbelievably warm. Her scent was now blended into the sheets and into Gabrielle’s clothing, almost as if she’d slept there beside her forever.

_It was a dream,_ Gabrielle reasoned tentatively, _just a really strange dream. I’m awake._ As soon as she’d decided, her face flushed with embarrassment. Had she really just dreamed about Xena in such… vivid detail? And now she was supposed to lie there and act like everything was normal?

She did her best to hide her emotions when she finally responded to Xena’s apology. “No, it’s okay, Xena.” she said, her words accidentally devoid of any feeling as she continued to puzzle over the dream.

_It seemed so real- no, it_ was _real- just not the same reality I’m used to… That doesn’t make any sense,_ Gabrielle sighed, _but it’s the best I can come up with for now._ She’d have to look into it more later. Something about it was important; she could feel it in her bones.

“Are you alright?” Xena asked, giving her a squeeze, “you seem… pensive.”

Gabrielle grinned absentmindedly at Xena’s elevated language and rolled over, _“pensive?”_ she teased, “I must be rubbing off on you; first you make a metaphor out of Greek literature and then you use ‘pensive’ in a sentence!”

Her heart gave a flutter as Xena’s cheeks grew slightly red; she didn’t think it was possible to embarrass such a cool and collected woman. Feeling more comfortable, she continued talking, as it was clear that Xena had been silenced by her quips: “really, though, I’m okay. I’m just not a morning person and I had an… eventful dream.”

“What do you mean ‘morning’?” Xena chuckled, finally confident enough to make a jab back, “I’ve been awake for over an hour; it’s almost nine!”

Relieved that she hadn’t asked her more about the dream, Gabrielle’s colour returned to normal. She poked Xena in the ribcage playfully, “just because _you_ wake up the moment the rooster crows doesn’t mean _I_ have to, Morning Bird.”

“Alright, then, more worms for me.”

The way Xena smiled when she played made Gabrielle’s heart beat so loud she was certain everyone within a ten-mile radius could hear it. Xena seemed so happy and at peace in those little moments, a welcome change from when she stared at the ground or at her hands in silence- or worse yet, when she cried. Gabrielle wanted to make her feel so loved that she’d never cry in pain again.

A warm feeling crept over her body and overrode her mind. Any ounce of self-control she had disappeared as she cupped Xena’s jaw in her hands and kissed her, like she had in the dream. Their lips were like magnets, nearly impossible to pull apart and even harder to keep separated. When Gabrielle finally regained control of herself and pulled away, she noticed how heavy Xena’s breathing had become and a different kind of heat began to build below her hips.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a while, and she took note of how Xena’s lips stayed slightly parted, almost as if she were begging for more. Xena’s eyes were so deep that Gabrielle felt like she could see straight into her, and, suddenly overwhelmed, she shied away.

_Nobody’s ever looked at me like that before. I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to it… as a matter of fact, I_ hope _I don’t._

She looked back at Xena and let her loving gaze wash over her a while, accepting the dizzying joy it made her feel.

“Hey,” Xena whispered, breaking Gabrielle out of her trance.

“Yeah?”

“Speaking of worms, I’m starving. Do you have any food?”

Surprised by Xena’s train of thought, Gabrielle just blinked at her for a moment. When her words finally registered, Gabrielle swatted her on the arm lightly, “we’re in the middle of having a moment and you’re worried about what’s for breakfast? This is like the toothbrush thing all over again!”

“I can’t live in the moment when ‘the moment’ is filled with hunger pains!”

Gabrielle covered her eyes and laughed, “I guess I was wrong. Complex as your mind may be growing, it’s still a slave to your stomach.”

Xena grinned at her and raised an eyebrow, “well, unless you want to be breakfast, kindly direct me to the refrigerator.”

Gabrielle stared at her for a moment, _does she know how she sounds when she says stuff like that? She’s got to be doing this on purpose… Although, being breakfast doesn’t sound too bad…_ She shook her head slightly to jar herself out of her thoughts, “uh, kitchen’s over there. Follow me.”

Clambering out of bed, Gabrielle led Xena just a few paces towards the back of the dorm, where a little mini-fridge hummed in the corner. “Let’s see,” Gabrielle said, opening the door and rummaging through its contents for breakfast foods, “i’ve got oranges, milk, apples… some yogurt…” She opened the cabinet beside the fridge, “and cereal, protein bars, and granola.”

“A wide selection,” Xena mused, her voice tinged with sarcasm, “but I think cereal will do just fine.”

Gabrielle wrinkled her nose at Xena in defiance as she pulled out the necessary ingredients, “hey, I’m actually a great cook, there’s just not much point in having a ton of food in a dorm without a stove.”

Xena sat down at the little card table Gabrielle used as her dining space and looked around at the dorm.

_Ugh, she’s adorable. And it seems like she’s getting more comfortable around me since we talked; I mean, demanding food is always a sign of closeness, right? I can’t believe she was letting her feelings for me weigh on her mind on top of all her other issues. I hope she knows that I want to help her deal with her past in any way I can._

Gabrielle looked back down at the cereal bowls to focus on pouring the right amount of milk in them without making a mess. Then, as if she’d appeared out of thin air, Xena was right behind her. Her hands slid down Gabrielle’s arms and she lined up their fingers on the counter, pressing against her from behind and speaking in her ear at barely above a whisper, “So, if I were to invite you over for dinner tonight, would you put my stove to good use?”

The temperature of Gabrielle’s skin rose and she did her best not to moan as Xena’s voice slithered its way through her mind. The hairs on the back of her neck pricking up, she swallowed hard before trying to answer. “Are you asking me on a _date,_ Xena?”

Her attempts to sound teasing again and change the mood were completely overshadowed by her attraction to Xena. The slight quiver of her voice seemed to satisfy her girlfriend, who responded evenly, “only if you say yes.”

_This has got to be some kind of enhanced interrogation technique._ With Xena so close to her, she couldn’t help but give in, and matched her tone, “I’ll be counting the hours.”

Xena made a pleased noise, somewhere deep in her throat, and kissed the top of Gabrielle’s head before moving away. Gabrielle grabbed Xena’s hand and turned to look up at her, a twinkle in her eye, “just because I _made_ breakfast doesn’t mean I’m _serving_ it to you.”

She watched as understanding slowly made its way across Xena’s face, then flounced over to the table and sat down, looking up expectantly. Xena smirked at her while putting away the milk and the cereal box, then set the bowls down in front of Gabrielle.

“Here you are, Your Highness,” Xena teased, and joined her at the table. Gabrielle laughed for a moment, then a strange mist seemed to cover her mind, similar to the way she felt in her dream. _There’s that familiar feeling again._ She looked up at Xena, hoping she hadn’t noticed the temporary lapse in her mood, but found that she, too seemed to be in a far-off land.

Her misty blue eyes were distant, and that deeply thoughtful expression had taken over her face again.

_Did she feel that, too? God, this is so strange. I don’t understand it at all._ Gabrielle racked her brain trying to come up with a solution to this déja vu problem that had been recurring more and more lately, and without her mind fully present to stimulate the conversation, she and Xena ate in silence.

_If I go to a doctor about this, they’ll think I’m insane- and charge me an arm and a leg… there’s a girl in my philosophy class who talks about déja vu a lot. Dreams, too. I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask her about it. She’s a little odd, but then again, who isn’t?_

Confident in her decision, Gabrielle brought herself back to the moment, but Xena still looked incredibly focused on whatever was on her mind, and it discouraged her from speaking. Soon after, Xena stood, picked up the dishes, and washed them without saying a word. Gabrielle had officially crossed the line into worry, and spoke up.

“Xena?”

“Mm.”

“You’re doing that thing again.”

Xena looked up from the sink, “what thing?”

“That thing where you think about something really hard and then don’t tell me what it is.”

“You can tell I’ve been thinking really hard?”

Gabrielle laughed, “oh, come on, you look like the stock photo for a person immersed in deep thought- you’re easier to read than you think you are.”

Xena looked almost offended, then she stared at Gabrielle with pure affection, a warm smile on her lips, “or maybe you’ve just got a gift for reading me.” She walked back towards Gabrielle and leaned over the table, giving her a kiss, “I’ve got to go, love. But I’ll see you tonight.” Gabrielle nodded and watched helplessly as Xena slipped into the bathroom to change back into her own clothes.

It seemed like no time had passed, but there Gabrielle was again, standing at her doorway telling Xena goodbye.

_It’s not even for a whole day. It’ll be fine,_ she reassured herself as she gave Xena one last kiss and shut the door behind her.

The wind whipped against Xena’s face and arms as she rode her motorcycle home. In her haste to get to Gabrielle the previous day she’d forgotten to grab her jacket and was now suffering the consequences. She wished she were still lying in bed with Gabrielle, but after the dream she’d had that night, she wanted to get home before she could screw anything up.

_That dream last night was entirely too surreal. It wasn’t a dream, it was… something else. I don’t know what, though. It was almost like a memory, the way it played in my head- vivid but clouded at the same time. If Gabrielle can read me like she says she can, maybe she knows I dreamed about her. Perhaps I gave it away._

She scoffed lightly at herself, _that’s ridiculous. She’s intuitive, not psychic. Besides, she seemed surprised by my advances this morning, so she couldn’t have known what started them- and she didn’t exactly shy away from them, either._

Little spots of heat throbbed around Xena’s body; her skin still remembered the feeling of Gabrielle’s lips in the dream, skillfully moving around her torso like they’d been doing it forever. She recalled how Gabrielle had whispered to her, calling her “love”. She was certain she’d never been called that by anyone before, but it felt so comfortable and familiar, and she wanted to use it as much as she could in the hopes that it made Gabrielle feel the same way.

_It was a strange dream, really. It didn’t make any sense. We didn’t seem to be in any particular time period and we weren’t anywhere I’ve ever seen. But everything was so_ detailed. _That leather corset I was wearing, the golden armour, the sword. There was even a… a…_

The word that had been in Xena’s mind escaped and then vanished into thin air before she could try to chase after it. She could picture the object clearly, but couldn’t for the life of her remember its name.

_It’s a weapon,_ she began spitballing, trying to overcome her lapse in cognition, _and it’s circular and silver and gold and it comes apart and it’s a… round killing thing._

Frustrated, she gave up trying to remember and instead focused solely on the road. She’d made at least fifteen traffic violations on the way to Gabrielle’s the day before, blindly hoping that no cops were around to see them, so now she wanted to drive as well as possible so as not to attract attention. _Still, covering that distance in just four minutes might be a new personal best,_ she smirked to herself, secretly proud of what she’d accomplished.

The remainder of her drive home was spent without much thought as she drifted through the streets on autopilot and parked across from her building. She arrived home and, to her dismay, immediately felt empty. Her apartment just didn’t feel like a home without Gabrielle; the furniture looked too big for just one person and the space seemed so deadly silent.

Slightly unsettled by her newfound clinginess, she decided that the only way for her to return to normal was to head out to a soccer field.

_I’ve got a game tomorrow anyway. Might as well get in some practice._ She began changing into some running pants and threw on a warm-up jacket. _The men have got the field today, but if I leave now I can be at the park two hours before the youth rec league starts practicing._

Grabbing her soccer bag and walking back out the door, she set out on the road again.

The field was surprisingly well-maintained for a public park, with trimmed grass, freshly painted lines, and even flags on the corners.

Xena tied one of her shoelaces that had come undone as she finished stretching, and took deep breaths.

The air was still cold, but the sky was clear and the sun bright; her warm-up jacket wouldn’t be necessary for much longer. She started running around the field along the sidelines, feeling how her cleats dug into the ground to keep her stable and propel her forward, and relishing in the little twinges of her muscles waking up. She could have run like that forever, if only she wasn’t going around in circles. Somehow a lack of change in scenery or purpose made her favourite task seem dull.

The next time she passed the upper left corner flag, she snagged her soccer ball with her foot and broke off from her previous path, scorching down the field and firing at the goal from about the 18. The ball ricocheted off the crossbar but she was ready for it, and used her head to knock it into the bottom right corner of the goal. The little game continued for about twenty minutes. Run, shoot, score, run, shoot, score, until it began to grow old.

Just as she was about to change drills, a familiar, slightly unhinged voice called out from behind her.

“Well, well, well,” the voice chimed, an eerily musical quality to it, “if it isn’t Xena, come all the way from her home field to grace the public with her presence.”

_Callie._

She turned reluctantly to look Callie in the eye. _I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with her at least until our next game._

The blonde stood by the edge of the field clad in her team’s black uniform, staring Xena down with a fiery menace. Somehow, trouble always seemed to follow her around, but Xena had had enough excitement over the past few days.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said in a calm, neutral tone, “I always practice here when someone else is using my field.”

_I don’t know why she talks about me like a monologuing supervillain. All I did was play better than her in high school._

Even as she consciously kept her cool, Xena felt resentment bubbling up from her chest. This was the girl who had knocked her out of the championships, who had put her on the injured list for half the postseason, and who had some strange grudge that just rubbed her the wrong way. Something about it wasn’t right. _I’ve got to figure her out. Tonight. Any way I can._

She acted on an impulse. “Practice with me.”

“What!?” Callie looked completely astonished, her mouth hanging open and brow furrowed.

Xena shot her a confident look, “you heard me. You’ve got something to prove, that’s obvious enough, and I don’t know who you’re trying to impress, but if it’ll get you off my ass, I’ll help you. Now stretch out and run ten laps around the field. Warm up.”

Callie looked at her bitterly, “you’re not my _coach,_ Xena. I’ll do whatever I want.”

She proceeded to stretch her legs with ridiculously over-dramatic fervor, almost as if to challenge Xena to try to be more flexible. Xena simply rolled her eyes and waited almost ten minutes for her rival to come down off her ego. _Well, at least I read something about her right. She wants to drill with me, for whatever reason. Perhaps that’s even the reason she came._

She looked back at the younger player, who was engaged in a fascinating display of flexibility on the ground. _If I let this go on much longer, we’ll be here until dark- and I’ve got a date._

“Would ya stop trying to twist yourself into a knot and pretend you’re a soccer player?” she spat, knowing it would get a rise out of Callie.

“I’m more of a player than you’ll ever be! Would you stop acting like you’re so perfect?” Callie retorted hotly before standing to square up with Xena.

_My god, she’s whining like a child!_

“Oh no,” Xena smirked, the irony in her voice painfully obvious, “I know I’m not perfect. You do a much more convincing impression of a pretzel than I do.”

Callie glared at her, “I do plenty of things better than you!”

She watched as Callie stormed off to the side of the field and retrieved her ball, firing it at Xena with a tremendous kick. Xena tensed her body and very precisely raised her foot, pulling it back just a tad when the ball made contact so it’d stop on the ground in front of her. Callie charged at her, and no words needed to be spoken for Xena to understand what was happening.

_She thinks she plays one-on-one better than me? Fine. I’ll play._

Xena calmed her mind and focused on Callie’s motion. She was barrelling forward at full speed, and there was no chance of her being able to turn if Xena moved at just the right moment. _There’s that lack of discipline again. Wait for it… Just a moment more…_

A gust of wind ruffled Xena’s hair as Callie blazed past her. She’d moved only about six inches to the left, but at exactly the right time. Callie had missed her completely, but was already doubling back for a second pass, this time more careful. _All right, now it’s a game._

Xena shifted her weight onto her toes and flexed every one of her muscles, making sure they were prepared. One-on-one was always difficult, especially with a player as skilled as Callie. Her second run was shorter and smarter, and Xena had to deal with her attack almost immediately.

They danced around the ball for a while, faking right and left, each trying to outsmart the other before resorting to brute force. Every time Xena moved, Callie matched her, blocking her at every turn. _She’s good when she uses her head. But she doesn’t know everything._

Xena took two touches to the right and Callie lunged forward, coming within centimetres of the ball. Using her left foot, Xena pulled the ball back then pushed it between Callie’s legs, running past her and clipping her shoulder. Disbelief darkened Callie’s features as she whirled around, and she ran after Xena in a futile attempt to stop her from scoring. Xena gently tapped the ball into the goal and Callie stopped.

The field seemed unnaturally silent except for the sound of Xena’s breathing, deep and heavy.

Callie walked wordlessly over to the net and retrieved her ball. Her face was brooding, darkened by a shadow that Xena could not identify. Standing by the goalpost, Xena watched her untangle the ball from the back of the net and thought she saw a tear on her cheek. For the first time, she felt something for Callie that she’d never felt before: pity.

_Is she really so invested in being the best that she can’t even lose in a scrimmage?_

She stood up and looked at Xena, now with an expression near to pain on her face and her ball under her left arm. Out of nowhere, sheer fury flashed over her eyes and twisted her face into a terrible scowl. She let out a shrill cry, somewhere between exasperation, anger, and hurt, and swung at Xena’s face with her right fist. All-too-used to being target practice, Xena caught her fist easily and pushed it to the side, a new look of confusion on her face.

_There’s something else going on here, I can feel it._

Callie looked so lost, and her eyes were red with the tears she was holding back.

_And I’m going to find out what it is._

Xena shot her a stern look and spat, “oh come on! That’s your move? Are you really going to let me get to you like that? I’ve seen you play, and you’re _good._ You use your head as much as your body, you understand the game, you always know exactly where to be at exactly the right time, but when you’re up against me, all of that disappears,” she felt herself growing truly frustrated as she continued, after all, she had known Callie since they were just kids.

“You’re impulsive, you’ve got no discipline, and frankly, I find it insulting that you don’t think I’m deserving of your best effort. So instead of throwing your weight at me and trying to break every bone in my body, why don’t you just play like I know you can?”

Callie was crying now, tears streaming down her face that had morphed into a look of anguish. Pitiful as Callie looked now, Xena’s anger kept her going for just a while longer, “What’s all this about, anyway? I can’t believe it’s about who got to start every game when we were teenagers, so what. _is_ it?”

The answer never came, and instead, Callie just stared at the ground and ran away. But Xena wasn’t through yet; she was going to find out what Callie’s problem was no matter what. _It’s been long enough. I deserve to know why she thinks I’m a demon sent just to make her life miserable._

She waited until she could barely see Callie’s wild blonde hair, then followed her with powerful strides, picking up all her gear along the way. She made sure to hang back just far enough so she couldn’t be heard, but close enough that Callie was always in sight. She trailed her down three city blocks and across two streets until she finally stopped in an alleyway behind a kickboxing gym.

She could hear music coming from inside, and could just barely make out the sound of fans whirring, airing out the interior. Crouched behind some stairs to hide, Xena heard a door open, and then out walked a familiar face.

Aaron stood over Callie, who still trembled and sniffled, and he glared at her with barely-concealed contempt.

“I take it practice didn’t go so well?” he said sarcastically, his condescending tone only making Callie cry harder. “What, you can’t take a little joke? You know I’m only trying to lighten the mood, babe.”

Callie exploded suddenly, bringing her hands away from her face, “I don’t get it anymore, Aaron! What is it you want from me? I’ve done everything you wanted, and it’s still not enough!”

“Not _everything!_ ” he snapped, grabbing her wrist. Callie tried to squirm out of his grasp, but it was useless.

“You know what I want from you! I want you to be the best, I _expect_ you to be the best- I _made_ you who you are. If I hadn’t stepped in and taught you how to play the right way, you wouldn’t even exist. You wouldn’t have made the club team where you were always second best, you wouldn’t have championship trophies, you wouldn’t even be in college right now if it wasn’t for me. Now why is it so hard for you to just do as I ask? Don’t you think we deserve a little payoff for everything we’ve worked for together? I send you out to practice with Xena, so you can learn from her and figure out how to beat her, how you can make her look like last year’s news, and you come back wailing like a banshee. What did she do?”

“I don’t know, Aaron! What _did_ she do? It’s _you_ that has the problem with her; you were the one who came to me and told me she’s my competition. She _complimented_ me on my playing- I can’t remember the last time you did- and she doesn’t know what I’ve got against her and now I don’t know if I do either! She thinks I’m good, and that I can be better. I really think I can learn from her, just not in the way you wanted. You told me that the best way to handle her was to take her out, to make it impossible to walk onto a pitch, but I don’t understand it anymore. I don’t know that I ever did…”

She trailed off and resumed crying. In her astonishment, Xena barely heard Aaron’s words of consolation and was only brought back to the present when the back door to the gym shut, leaving her in the alley alone.

_I don’t believe it. At the same time he was training me to fight, he was training her to… play soccer? What would he have to gain from that?_

The realisation slowly dawned on her. _If I wasn’t doing well in soccer, being overshadowed by a younger, better player, all I’d have left was the fighting. He wanted to isolate me from the game by creating a superstar to push me out. He’s using her to get to me! She’s been conditioned to hate me, and to think that she’s so inferior all she can do is follow his orders._

Aaron’s comforting tone at the end of their conversation now made her feel sick to her stomach, _he’s convinced her that he loves her. That’s why she listens to him. He beats her down and disguises it as building her up. If they started doing this the same time I started fighting, she’d have been even younger than I was._

A blaze of fury flashed through Xena’s brain, _That manipulative bastard! He was taking advantage of a_ child! _Just like he did with me! But I got out… and she didn’t. Now I don’t know if she’ll ever be able to grow up…”_

She stood up slowly and began the walk back to her motorcycle, feeling powerless, thinking the whole time about how she wished she could help Callie escape.

Gabrielle had been squirming in her seat for the past hour and a half, just waiting for her professor to stop talking. Although she was usually completely invested in philosophy class, today had been different. She couldn’t stop thinking about Xena, more specifically the dream she’d had about Xena.

Occasionally she’d get a flash of memory, the feel of the breeze in her hair as she straddled Xena on the ground, the warmth of her skin, the twinkling of the stars in the sky. It made her feel like she was back on the rolling hills of her dream, and it was becoming difficult to separate fantasy from reality.

_That girl I wanted to talk to is still here._ She had been glancing over at the dream-obsessed girl every few seconds, making sure she didn’t leave before class was over. After paying close attention and listening intently, she was fairly certain her name was Yakut; she’d heard the professor call on her once and thought that that was what her friends called her.

_If that’s not her name, this is going to be really embarrassing._

She tapped her fingers on the desk repeatedly, her impatience growing more and more obvious. The professor began to sound like she was concluding her lesson, and Gabrielle began bouncing her leg, dying to start asking the girl questions. The moment class was dismissed, she jumped up out of her seat and half-jogged across the room.

“Yakut?”

The girl turned around, looking slightly confused. _I guess that’s the right name. Okay, come on, Gabrielle. You’ve got to spin this one the right way._

“Hi,” Gabrielle grinned, holding out her hand, “you don’t know me-yet. My name’s Gabrielle, and I noticed you talk a lot about dreams.”

Yakut still seemed wary and Gabrielle continued, “I’ve been having this problem lately with déja vu. It happens all the time, ever since I met this girl, and then last night I had a really strange dream. It didn’t feel like a dream, though; I’m almost sure it was real, but I have no idea what it meant, or what else it could be.”

“This dream,” Yakut asked, “it wasn’t just a recurring dream?”

“No, I’ve never had it before. I couldn’t have, I didn’t even know Xena-”

“Xena!” Surprise flashed across Yakut’s face, and now it was Gabrielle’s turn to look confused, “you know Xena?”

“Yes.” Yakut’s tone was difficult to read, but Gabrielle thought she heard some uneasiness in it. “I know Xena very well. I’d like to hear more about your dream- would you mind coming with me? I think best when I’ve had some coffee.”

“Me too.” Gabrielle followed Yakut out of the classroom.

_Well, that wasn’t cryptic at all. She ‘knows Xena very well’? What’s that supposed to mean? I wonder if she’s an ex-girlfriend or something; she sure seemed surprised to hear her name. Only one way to find out._

“So how do you know Xena?”

Yakut glanced back at her and answered, “oh, she’s just an old friend. She was a sophomore when I was a freshman, and she encouraged me to pursue what I was interested in- dreams, that is- without her, I don’t think I would have. She’s really all about doing what you love… and just to do a little reading between the lines, don’t worry, she wasn’t my girlfriend. Just a friend.”

Gabrielle blushed, “was I really that obvious?”

“Just a little,” Yakut grinned, “it was the way your eyes lit up when you said her name. Am I wrong to assume that all this is about her?”

The question struck Gabrielle as a little odd.

_I’ve never thought of it that way. Of it being “about her”. I always just thought it was a coincidence that she sparked it. But I guess all this started when I met her- and it’s only gotten more intense. The déja vu, the feeling of familiarity, the love-at-first-sight, now the dream…_

“Yes, it’s about her.”

Yakut nodded and continued walking in silence. They stopped inside a coffee shop on campus, ordered, and sat down. After sipping at her coffee for a while, Yakut started asking questions.

“So, tell me about your déja vu first. Psychology says it’s all in your head, just cues triggering an earlier experience, and I don’t think that’s wrong, but if it’s really severe… well, I’ll make that call after you’ve told me.”

Gabrielle nodded, “alright. Well, the first time it happened was the first time I met Xena. She rescued me from these huge guys who were trying to hurt me and it was like it had happened before. I just got this overwhelming sense that I should trust her and that she’d protect me, that everything would be okay. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and kind of attached myself to her for a while. I felt like I had known her forever. I was so comfortable around her even though we’d only just met.

And then there’s the name. _Xena._ When she first told me her name it was like recall, like I was remembering something I’d already learned- and I’m positive I’ve never known anyone else named Xena. There’s this feeling I get when I’m around her too, like we’ve always been this way together. Everything about her feels familiar, the way she teases me and smiles and even the… dark place she goes to sometimes, like she’s trapped in a pit she can’t get out of.

I’ve never met anyone like her but I know exactly how to handle her, like it’s hard-wired into my mind, a second nature. I had to get her out of a pretty bad situation once and didn’t even think to be afraid. And that’s another thing- sometimes it’s like I’m not even in control of myself and it’s a… primal instinct in charge of my actions and words. But it doesn’t feel like an adrenaline rush; I’m perfectly calm and clear-headed, something else just takes over.”

Yakut listened intently now, looking supremely invested in the story Gabrielle was telling. “Really? That’s amazing, Gabrielle! Now, tell me about this dream of yours- in as much detail as you can. I have a vague idea of what could be happening already but that’ll be the final piece of the puzzle.”

Gabrielle wasn’t entirely sure what Yakut was getting out of her jumble of story fragments, but she kept talking, eager to know her thoughts, “at the very beginning of the dream, I had just woken up. There was this scraping noise, and it was bothering me, so I sat up. Xena was sitting a few feet away from me on a log, sharpening this long, old sword. She was wearing gold and leather armour, but her hair was pretty much the same as it is now.

Mine was different though, it was much shorter and kind of shaggy. I had on this reddish outfit, a skirt and a top, and I had knives on my boots. Xena was looking up, away towards the east. The sky was beautiful. It was so rich and dark, and you could make out every single star… There was just a sliver of a moon…

Anyway, I asked Xena to stop making noise and she apologized. Then I got up and told her to come to bed, and took off her armour- just the gold parts, breastplate, gauntlets, and the like- and massaged her shoulders a little bit. I took her sword and put it on the ground, then grabbed her hands and led her to bed.

It wasn’t a bed, of course, it was just some blankets on the ground, brown furs, some soft and some more coarse. There was a breeze coming in, surprisingly chilly since the still air was warm. Xena made this little noise, kind of like a sigh, and I knew she was still restless.

I looked over at her and asked if she was even tired- okay, it was more of a statement than a question- I knew she wasn’t. Then she told me that her mind was but her body wasn’t- tired, that is. Then I…”

Gabrielle trailed off. She wasn’t quite sure if she felt comfortable sharing the more intimate parts of her dream with a stranger, even one that was trying to help.

_Is it wrong to tell someone about my subconscious sex life? In ‘as much detail as I can’? Would that be betraying Xena’s trust?_

Yakut had apparently honed in on her hesitation to continue, “what’s wrong, Gabrielle?”

Gabrielle bit her lower lip in uncertainty, “well… the rest of my dream was a little… racy.” She felt her cheeks growing red and her core beginning to throb as she thought about it.

“I see,” Yakut said, “if you don’t want to go on, I understand- you don’t really know me and it might be uncomfortable for you- but if it’s because you’re worried about what Xena might think, then don’t be. I know Xena, and I know that she wouldn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t talk about something if you were trying to work something out for yourself. And, of course, I wouldn’t tell anyone else what you told me.”

Gabrielle nodded, collecting herself. “Okay. I’ll keep going. Where was I? Oh yeah, I told Xena that I’d try to do something about her restlessness. Then I crawled on top of her and kissed her. I did it pretty gently, but I was holding back. My skin… it felt like it was on fire- and I had all this muscle tone I don’t have now; I just carried myself differently and moved with all this authority. And I’d never had a feeling quite like that before, not the burning or the dominance.

I took off her leather armour and kissed her all over. She was breathing kind of funny, really slowly but with these sporadic gasps. Then I sat up and reached behind me to unlace my top. And Xena’s eyes… well, they went straight to my chest, filled with all this desire. She sat up a little and started to open her mouth, but I pushed her back down with my finger.

Looking back, it’s hard to believe that it was so easy to subdue her, but in the moment it felt so natural, almost practiced. I told her that she wasn’t allowed to touch me yet and pinned her wrists to the ground. She didn’t resist, although she definitely could have. I kissed her again, much harder this time, and for much longer. She was panting by the time I was finished.”

She noticed herself maybe getting a little too proud and blinked hard, jarring herself back to the present.

“Then I kissed down her body and let go of her wrists. She kept them at the ground- I could feel her muscles straining, though. She was grabbing at the grass growing beside the blankets trying to keep still,” she chuckled, “her legs were shaking a little bit so I put my lips on them, just to tease her. Her skin was so warm, and it got a little red everywhere I touched it. I was getting ready to take her when she whispered my name… and then I woke up.”

She met Yakut’s eyes. They looked distant and her face was a little red. Gabrielle cocked her head and looked at her, waiting for her input.

Yakut shook her head a little bit and cleared her throat, “ahem… uh, sorry. You just… you tell a good story, is all.”

“Too much detail?”

“No, no, that was good. Can I see your hand?”

Slightly confused, Gabrielle offered it up.

“Oh, I should have been more specific- I meant your left hand.”

Gabrielle switched hands and Yakut cradled it gently in her own, staring at it intently and tracing a few lines. _Something tells me she doesn’t look at dreams from a very scientific perspective._

“That’s what I thought,” Yakut said, looking satisfied. Gabrielle raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Wow,” Yakut chuckled, “looks like Xena’s rubbing off on you already; that’s her signature move.”

Suddenly self-conscious, Gabrielle put her eyebrow back down and then found it difficult to remember how she usually kept her resting face.

“You’re probably wondering what I’ve figured out,” said Yakut, “and I promise I’m getting there. I just need to build to it a little bit. First of all, I need you to know that I’m not a scientist. Or a psychologist. I’m a philosophy major and I study the importance and significance of dreams in different cultures- whether it be interpretation of meaning or part of a collective unconscious or a form of subconscious introspection.

But what’s most interesting to me about your particular dream is not what happens in it, but the way you talk about it. You don’t try to interpret as you go along, and you got nervous when you realised you’d have to talk about intimacy between Xena and yourself- almost like you’d actually experienced it- then when you finally did start talking about it, you were able to differentiate between yourself and the you from your dream, personality-wise and physically. Not to mention you got a little hubristic when you talked about your sexual prowess- quite unlike yourself. Have you actually had sex with Xena?”

Gabrielle was taken aback by the question and she stammered, “uh… well, I- I guess… no. I haven’t. Not with her or anyone.”

Yakut grinned, “see? There’s another thing. You find it difficult to say no because you don’t think of the dream as a dream. You view it as fact, as a memory. And we can go on all day about how much of memory is fiction, but for the sake of argument, let’s say that it isn’t. You were able to introspect on the you within that dream, almost as if it were a past event, like you were telling the story behind a photograph you were in- you didn’t just talk about what was there or what happened, you talked about how you felt then, and could reflect on it through the lens of who you are now.”

Gabrielle’s head spun; a lot of information was being thrown at her at once and she was trying hard to keep up, “hold on,” she said, holding up a hand, “I took AP Psychology two years ago, give me a second to process all of this.”

She sorted out everything Yakut had been saying and then asked a new question, ready for the big picture, “okay, I get what you said, but what does it mean?”

“Depends on what you mean by that. We could dissect your dream for meaning, but I honestly think that’d be a waste of time in this case. What I think we should do is consider your dream to be what you already subconsciously regard it as: a memory.”

“A memory?”

“Of a past life. Gabrielle, do you believe in reincarnation?”

Gabrielle was even more surprised by _that_ question. She didn’t know what she believed in, only that it wasn’t what her father did, or that anyone else she knew seemed to. _I have no idea how to answer that._

“That can be a rhetorical question if you prefer,” Yakut continued, “but in my opinion, from what you told me, your ‘dream’ was really recall, a memory of a moment in a past life in which you knew Xena. That’s why I looked at your hand. You have a very old soul, Gabrielle. Xena does, too. That’s why she’s such a magnetic personality, and why you are, too.

You may have lived one of your past lives together as lovers, which would explain the déja vu, as well. And if you needed swords and armour, it would account for your protective instincts towards each other. You may have been in some sort of danger at the time which you remembered.

Some of your actions that you feel like you have no control over may be sort of like muscle memory of actions from your past self. Am I making sense?”

Gabrielle nodded. _You’re making a_ whole _lot of sense. It’s kind of freaking me out._

“What am I supposed to do with all this now?”

Yakut shrugged, “doesn’t really matter to me. Nothing, if you want. You don’t even have to believe it. I just gave you the answers I could come up with based on what you gave me. You have to decide what to do with them now; only you have the power to assign meaning to them.”

She stood up, preparing to leave, but Gabrielle stopped her, “wait! What do I tell Xena?”

Yakut grinned, “that, Gabrielle, is one hundred percent your call. But remember to trust your instincts. They’ve been right so far.”

From a distance, Xena could tell that there was someone standing beside her motorcycle. She wasn’t sure how, but she could sense that it was Aaron. As she got closer to him, his silhouette became more clear. He stood with his arms folded, a smug grin on his face. Rage boiled up from inside Xena, but she took special care to ensure that it wasn’t visible.

_If he doesn’t know I saw him with Callie, he won’t be expecting a reaction. I need to keep him in the dark until I can decide what to do with him… because at this point, I’m ready to kill him._

She couldn’t just stand by when she knew Aaron was manipulating Callie like that. A volcano rumbling in her chest, Xena approached Aaron and met his confident stare with a steely glower.

“What are you doing here?” she asked slowly and calmly.

“I could ask you the same question,” he shrugged, beginning to pace around her.

She stayed still, knowing that turning around in circles to follow him would only be giving him what he wanted.

“You’re far away from your home field… and your little friend. Any particular reason?”

Xena’s jaw tightened. _He’s talking about Gabrielle._ She longed to whirl around and hit him, to beat him to the ground like she knew she could and protect her love. _Be patient. Wait until the right moment._

“Field’s taken today. And a change in scenery’s nice every once in a while.”

Aaron nodded, “fair enough. But did you have to chase that young little player out of her practice spot? She’s really got some issues with you, you know.”

Xena smirked discreetly to herself; _I’ve got a leg up and he doesn’t know it._

Confident, she finally turned to look Aaron in the eyes, “she’s an excellent player, but impulsive. I don’t know who taught her to go berserk like that, but it’s the most ridiculous technique I’ve ever seen. Needs a better coach, probably. Then she could reach her full potential.”

Aaron scowled, looking hurt. His lip twitched and twisted into a snarl before it returned to normal. _He’s insulted. Excellent. It’s easy to catch him off-guard now._ She continued, figuring out how far she could push him.

“I don’t know that it’s me she’s got a problem with. She’s definitely got a problem, though. Probably a coach or a parent trying to live vicariously through her- you know the type- old, washed up, doesn’t have the ability anymore so they try to make their kid into some kind of prodigy. It’s a shame. If they’d get off her back she could really grow into something great.”

All of Aaron’s muscles had tensed, and Xena revelled in her power. _He’s angry now. Once he cools down a little… that’s the right time._

Aaron puffed his chest up indignantly, “or maybe she’s just meant to do something else. Like someone else I know.”

_That’s your play? Seriously?_

“Listen to me, Xena,” he pleaded, grabbing her hands, suddenly making himself seem small,“all this ridiculous running around in the grass kicking a ball into a net- it’s not you. It’s too easy. You’re not built for this. You’re so much more powerful; you’ve got a natural ability for combat. You understand how it works, you can anticipate your opponent’s next move, you can react in plenty of time. If you went pro, you could have it all. Everything you ever wanted. Power. Status. Security. For yourself and your family. It could be just you and me again, on top of the world. In love- if only you’d come back and ditch that irritating bl-”

That was the final straw. Xena pulled her hands out of Aaron’s and gave him a right cross, straight to the face. He staggered back in surprise, holding his cheek. _He’s not bleeding. Not even a bruise. No redness._ Frustrated, Xena assumed her fighting stance and took a step forward, landing a powerful kick underneath his jaw and knocking him onto his back.

Again, he looked more surprised than hurt, and Xena spat viciously at him, “what we had wasn’t _love._ You don’t even know what love is. You were taking advantage of a girl, just like you are now. With Callie. That’s right, I heard you two earlier- she was a _child,_ Aaron. Even more so than I was. Harassing me is one thing, but what you did to her is a new low, even for you. And threatening Gabrielle…”

Xena shook with fury at the thought, and Aaron looked genuinely afraid.

She exhaled hard and closed her eyes, then spoke again, her voice choked with disgust, “if you _ever_ come anywhere near her again, you’ll be dead so fast you…”

Xena broke off, unable to find words strong enough to threaten him with, but recovered quickly, “Now get up, you _swine._ Walk away while I’ll still let you go alive. I never want to see you again.”

He stood up apprehensively and slunk away, turning his head to glare at her. Xena met his gaze with one of even more intensity, then he turned away permanently and disappeared around the corner of a building.

Xena just stood there for a while, staring into space. Her skin tingled all over as she came back down from her adrenaline rush and her fist began to throb; Aaron seemed to have left more of a mark on her than she had on him. Her knuckles bled sluggishly and her body felt heavy.

In almost robotic fashion, she slung her soccer bag back over her shoulder and mounted her motorcycle. She rode home on autopilot, her mind devoid of any thoughts except the occasional distraction of the pain in her hand. She fumbled with her keys to unlock her door and dropped her bag inside, heading straight to the bathroom, where she leaned against the sink.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she allowed herself to think again, but the thoughts only came in fragments that repeated over and over again.

_He’s gone. I’ll never have to see him again. Gabrielle’s safe. I kept her safe…_

Her body was covered in sweat, half from exercise and half from stress, and she felt sick.

_How do I know that she’ll stay safe? She’s all the way on the other side of town, and it takes me a minimum of four minutes to get there. What happens if she gets into trouble and I’m not there? She’s brave and kind-hearted to a fault…_

She closed her eyes to clear her head, _I can’t make myself crazy,_ and pulled out her phone to look at the time. It was almost four o’clock. _I still have to get ready for tonight, she sighed, and that includes cleaning up a little… or a lot._

She turned on the shower and slipped off her clothes, stepping in immediately. For her, warm water was reserved for baths, and she couldn’t stand to take a hot shower after any kind of exercise. She made quick work of washing her body and hair, then stood there a moment longer, letting the cold numb her skin.

Shutting her eyes again, she allowed herself to relax, thinking only of Gabrielle. If she didn’t calm down before Gabrielle came over, she knew she’d be able to tell, and she really wasn’t interested in Aaron and Callie ruining her evening.

She turned off the water and dried off, leaving her hair to air-dry and wrapping her towel around her body. Walking into the bedroom, she opened her closet door and stared at all her options, which consisted mostly of jeans, t-shirts, and a variety of dark-coloured outerwear.

_Well, I guess looking fancy isn’t an option._

She threw on a white shirt, blue jeans, and a black leather jacket, hoping Gabrielle would know that it was still a small step up from her usual wardrobe.

_Are you really going to fuss over your clothes like an airheaded teenager?_ she admonished herself silently before admitting that, yes, that was exactly what she intended to do.

Straightening her collar, she shut off the bathroom lights and made a trip around the apartment, half-heartedly putting away clutter and throwing away trash. She kicked a few random objects under her bed to be dealt with later and moved over towards her couch.

She picked up her laptop and searched around the internet for dinner recipes, and when she finally found one she thought she could accomplish (with Gabrielle’s help, of course), she sat down. Unwelcome butterflies flitting around in her stomach, she anxiously for a knock at her door.

It came almost an hour later, and she nearly jumped out of her seat. Rushing over towards the door, she quickly composed herself before opening it. Gabrielle stood before her, several inches below, and her blue-green eyes sparkled like stars.

Xena fell speechless and accidentally left her mouth hanging open, to which Gabrielle responded by kissing her. The contact surprised Xena, but it also brought her mind back into focus and she brought Gabrielle close and stroked a hand through her hair. She felt one of Gabrielle’s hands tuck something behind her ear, and she pulled away, touching her fingertips to it to identify it.

“Gentle!” Gabrielle scolded playfully, “if you touch it too much, it’ll fall apart.”

Xena tried to look at it out of the corner of her eye, but it was just out of her field of vision. “What is it?” she asked.

Gabrielle cupped Xena’s jaw in one of her hands, stopping her from jerking her head to get a visual of the object before answering, “it’s a violet. I saw it earlier today and it reminded me of you.”

Xena looked back down into Gabrielle’s eyes and felt her heart melt at the way she smiled. “Oh, yeah?” she teased, “so this wasn’t an attempt at Sapphic symbolism?” She watched the wheels turn in Gabrielle’s head and caught the exact moment she understood.

Gabrielle gasped, “oh my god, I can’t believe I-”

Xena cut her off by kissing her again, “it’s lovely, Gabrielle. And you know I’m a big Sappho fan.”

Gabrielle grinned impishly and Xena ushered her all the way into the house, shutting the door behind her.

“So,” Gabrielle sighed, setting a small backpack down beside Xena’s soccer bag, “what’s for dinner?”

Xena grinned sheepishly and grabbed her laptop, showing her the recipe she had in mind. Gabrielle scanned the page for a moment, then looked up at Xena questioningly, “Gyros? You need my help for gyros?”

“I need your help to not make them disgustingly bland or set the kitchen on fire. My Greek mother’s only shame about me is that I can’t cook and if you can change that, she’ll worship the ground you walk on.”

Gabrielle giggled, “okay, Xena, whatever you say.”

Xena smiled back and walked over towards the fridge, pulling out all the ingredients and setting them down on her kitchen island.

“How many of these do you want?” Gabrielle asked, eyeing all the food she had to work with.

“Honestly,” Xena sighed, “I’ll eat as many as you put in front of me.”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes teasingly, “well, considering you’re expected to be in top physical shape for your loyal soccer team, I’ll give us each two.”

At the mention of soccer, Xena’s mind flitted a moment to Callie, but she was able to jar herself out of it before Gabrielle noticed. She watched as Gabrielle performed some of the more complex tasks, prepping the meat on the counter and putting the pita in the toaster to bake.

“Hey, Xena,” she said, snapping her out of her temporary daze. Xena looked up and caught the tomato that had nearly hit her in the face.

“Make yourself useful and cut these up for me.”

She caught a second airborne tomato and smirked, “you know, if anyone else threw vegetables at me, they’d be toast.”

“A tomato’s a fruit and if you can’t make gyros, I doubt you can handle toast.” Gabrielle teased right back, wiggling her eyebrows.

_I’ve never met anyone with a mind like hers,_ Xena mused, _so quick and insightful… not to mention creative… and absolutely beautiful…_ She found herself reaching out for Gabrielle without even thinking about it, and Gabrielle grabbed her hand.

To Xena's surprise, she turned it over and looked at its recently-scabbed-over knuckles and raised a questioning eyebrow. “What happened?” she asked darkly.

Xena looked into her eyes and knew she daren’t lie. “That man who threatened you- Aaron- I punched him. In the face.” she answered confidently, and found that she felt no remorse for that particular action.

“You punched that absolutely _huge_ man in the face? And that’s all he did to you?” Gabrielle’s tone was unreadable, and Xena continued to tell the truth, “it’s just from the impact. He staggered back a little, but didn’t seem all that hurt. So I kicked him-”

“In the face, too?”

“No, in the jaw. He fell and I told him to stay away from you and that I never want to see him again. Then he walked away.” She studied Gabrielle’s face; she was clearly processing all that she’d just heard. When she seemed to have come to a conclusion, Xena looked at her expectantly.

Gabrielle breathed a sigh of relief, “thank you, Xena. Honestly, I was afraid of him. And I’m really proud of you for standing up to him after all he did to you- as much as I wish you’d maybe taken a different approach, I think the intention was right. I love you.”

Xena stared at Gabrielle, relieved as well. “I love you, too, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle smiled and they resumed their work, not talking as much as before and just enjoying each other’s company. When they’d completed the recipe, Gabrielle appeared to take a little creative license with the spices she found in Xena’s cabinets, mixing a flurry of them together and sprinkling them into their dinner.

Xena pulled out a chair for Gabrielle at the kitchen table and sat across from her, waiting for her to take the first bite. Gabrielle seemed to have caught on to what Xena wanted; she picked up a gyro and suggested, “on three?” Xena nodded and picked one up, too.

“One… two… three.”

They both took a bite, and Xena finished chewing first. “Well,” she said, swallowing the last bit, “I give it a ten out of ten. We should start a restaurant, make a million bucks, easy.”

Gabrielle hadn’t quite finished by the end of Xena’s sentence and responded with her mouth half-full, “I think we make a pretty great team- but you need a little more training before I’ll let you work alone in the kitchen, grasshopper.”

Xena scrunched her nose at Gabrielle in reply, as she’d already taken another bite and gotten about two-thirds of the way through her first gyro.

“Now, what would you have done if it were burning hot?” Gabrielle scolded playfully, “the inside of your mouth would have been on fire.”

Xena had enough manners to finish chewing before answering, “I just trusted in your ability to not give me something that could kill me.”

“Good answer.”

The rest of dinner was passed in mostly small talk, each inquiring about the other’s day and Xena skirting around her skirmish with Callie. They tag-teamed dishwashing and then Gabrielle asked what Xena wanted to do next.

“I don’t know,” she replied, “how about you?”

Gabrielle bit her lower lip a moment and looked up at the ceiling.

“Now, that’s the fakest pretend-thinking I’ve ever seen!” Xena teased, swatting her on the arm, “just tell me what you have in mind.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle grinned sheepishly, “but hear me out. There’s this movie that you have to see- do you have Netflix?”

“Who doesn’t?”

After briefly teaching Gabrielle how to use her television remote, Xena settled down on the corner of her couch, watching her girlfriend navigate the search function to find the title she was looking for. About halfway through spelling out the movie title, Xena interrupted, “don’t tell me it’s _Blue is the Warmest Colour._ ”

Gabrielle flinched, “you’ve already seen it?”

Xena chuckled, “oh, yeah. All three hours of it. Wasn’t that great, if you ask me.”

“What makes you a film critic all of a sudden?” Gabrielle huffed, looking irritated and a little hurt. Xena racked her brain to figure out what was going on.

_She wants to watch the most painfully long and inaccurate movie about lesbians in the world and doesn’t know why I don’t want to relive my first viewing? How can she be this upset about it; it’s not that import-_ the realisation suddenly hit her.

_The violet, the flannel she showed up in, and now the film- it all makes sense. She’s never been with a woman before, so she’s trying to prove that she knows what she’s doing… in a somewhat stereotypical fashion, but her heart’s in the right place. If she was never exposed to the culture and she tried to give herself a crash course…_

Xena chuckled aloud by accident and Gabrielle shot her a look, “what’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Xena responded, “I just love you.” Gabrielle raised an eyebrow.

“Gabrielle,” Xena sighed, reaching out and pulling her down to the couch, “there are much better ways for you to learn how to make love to a woman than by watching ethically questionable foreign films. I’m not worried about your… aptitude- in the slightest.”

Staring up at Xena, Gabrielle gasped quietly, letting her know she’d hit the nail on the head. Xena pulled Gabrielle into her lap and held her close, resting their foreheads together. “This is always good, for starters,” she whispered, before pressing her lips into Gabrielle’s, hard and passionately.

Almost immediately, she felt Gabrielle’s body react; her skin felt warmer and she made soft little moans every time their lips parted, drawing Xena back in for more. Xena felt her own core throbbing and did her best to stay gentle, drawing her hands slowly over Gabrielle’s body, trying to ignite her with the flames she was feeling inside herself. Xena moved her head down to Gabrielle’s neck, sucking gently at the tender skin and relishing in the way Gabrielle breathed hard into her shoulder.

“Xena,” Gabrielle panted, and Xena stopped, looking her in the eyes with concern. _Have I made a mistake already?_

“Can I come live with you?”

“Yes.”

Xena surprised herself with how quickly she answered. It was completely automatic, as if it were a rehearsed response, even though the question seemed so spur-of-the-moment, so absolutely reckless…

_So_ right. _This should take much longer, need much more thought and serious discussions, require visits home to families- but all that seems like a waste of time. I know where I belong._

She pushed away every half-hearted doubt, feeling absolutely certain in her decision, however split-second it was.

She shot Gabrielle a grin and felt overjoyed when the strawberry blonde reciprocated. Their lips met again with an even stronger connection, leaving Xena breathless, and she slowly maneuvered Gabrielle beneath her on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know this chapter is super late but I've got a feeling with the way my schedule's been that it'll be like this a lot. So, I'm going to revise my "new updates every Sunday" policy to "new updates every Whenever". I promise not to give up on it, though; I've got everything semi-planned out except for the ending so I'm excited. Thank you for being patient and continuing to read. You're the best!  
> -ky


	6. Beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little steamy, Xena has a soccer game, Gabrielle's father is the worst, and the round killing thing is identified

Xena’s eyes had grown incredibly intense, and Gabrielle couldn’t help but feel weak as she looked into them. Her chest heaved as she shuddered in anticipation, completely hypnotised by the blue orbs burning into her, adding even more to the sensation that her body was on fire. Her face was flushed and she could barely stand to wait any longer when Xena said just loud enough for her to hear, “are you ready?” Gabrielle nodded.

Xena crossed the soccer ball over towards the left side of the field and Gabrielle managed to settle it, dribbling for a few feet before shooting. The ball hit the crossbar and bounced off back towards Xena’s side of the field, and she put it in the back of the net easily.

Gabrielle put her hands on her knees and bent over, panting.

“Xena, we’ve been at this for over an hour. Can we _please_ do something else?”

The raven-haired beauty jogged over, glistening with sweat, and a mischievous smile broke out on her face, “don’t tell me you’re tired already! You’re gonna need more stamina than that for… other physical pursuits.”

Gabrielle’s heart skipped a beat at Xena’s suggestion and she felt a twinge of anticipation below her waist. Their relationship had moved very quickly, but even though they’d been living together and sleeping in the same bed for almost a week now, they still hadn’t had sex. It was beginning to worry Gabrielle; even though she knew Xena loved her, she wasn’t confident that she _wanted_ her. In these little moments, though, those thoughts weighed less heavily on her mind.

Xena stepped close to Gabrielle and kissed her, bending down a little to reach and using her index finger to tip Gabrielle’s chin up. The warmth that radiated from Xena’s skin spilled over onto Gabrielle, and she pulled away since she was already sweating.

“You can’t bribe me like that, Xena; that’s how you talked me into this in the first place and I am _not_ falling for that again. Plus, you stink.”

“Do not!”

“Just a little bit,” Gabrielle teased, making a little gesture with her thumb and forefinger to demonstrate.

Xena pretended like she was going to bite Gabrielle’s fingers, causing her to jerk her hand away and tap the end of Xena’s nose lightly. Xena gave her signature smirk.

_At least when she’s out here, she’s always in a good mood._

Gabrielle had let Xena talk her into getting up and heading to the soccer field for the past two days after she kept waking up to see that her girlfriend had already gone. The conversation had started out as Gabrielle asking Xena not to leave every morning like that and ended in a trip to Sports Authority, where she was provided with cleats, socks, shin guards, a ball, and a pair of those Adidas pants Xena wore whenever she practiced in the cold. According to Xena, outfitting her girlfriend appropriately was “absolutely necessary”.

The first day she’d played with Xena, Gabrielle had felt ridiculous, decked out in brand-new gear for a sport she hadn’t played since elementary school. Now, just twenty-four hours and one refresher practice later, she felt less silly and could do at least _some_ of what Xena wanted. She almost hated to admit it, but she was actually having fun- the only issue being that the early wake-up call wasn’t her cup of tea.

Moving in had gone fairly smoothly as well; as it turned out, Xena was even stronger than she looked and all the furniture that Gabrielle owned now sat in their apartment above the bookshop. It clashed with all of Xena’s leather seating and dark, rich colour scheme, but Xena had assured her that it only made the space more “theirs”.

The only conflict had been over what sheets to put on the bed. Xena’s sheets had been much too coarse for Gabrielle, and after several days, she had convinced her to replace them with her own soft, flannel sheets.

“Don’t forget you owe me after I went to that poetry slam with you a few days ago. I’m just collecting on my favour.”

Xena’s words snapped Gabrielle out of her mental tangent, but she recovered and was able to retort quickly, “ _One_ poetry slam does not equal two days of six-thirty wake-up calls for two-hour practices- besides, why’d we have to do this today? Don’t you have a game this afternoon?”

“Yeah, but that’s not until three and my team isn’t getting ready yet.”

“That’s probably because they’re not _awake_ yet.”

Gabrielle trotted over to the sidelines, shooting a teasing glance over her shoulder, and picked up her phone. “It’s not even nine!” she called to Xena, who ran over and wrapped her arms around Gabrielle’s waist from behind, resting her chin on her head. Now that she wasn’t running anymore, the cold air was seeping into Gabrielle’s skin and she gratefully accepted Xena’s warmth.

“So?” Xena shrugged lightly, “just means we’ve got more time to be together today.”

Gabrielle grinned and looked up at Xena, kissing her on the cheek, “I think that’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Yeah, but it was pretty smooth, wasn’t it?”

“Almost sickeningly so.”

Reaching down for one of Xena’s hands, Gabrielle began to drag her slowly towards the motorcycle, but Xena jerked away, “alright, alright, we can leave- but not without all my gear.”

Packing her soccer bag, she called over to Gabrielle, “if we drive fast, we can shower and make it back to the apartment in time for breakfast!”

Gabrielle nodded and took the bag from Xena, strapping it over her shoulders and tightening it in preparation for a fast ride home. The motorcycle-riding had become fairly routine since Gabrielle didn’t live in a dorm anymore and had to be driven to class, but she hadn’t quite worked up the nerve to try driving it herself.

She settled into her spot behind Xena on Argo and nestled her head between her shoulder blades. The engine roared to life and they sped out of the parking lot. The wind whistled past Gabrielle’s ears, blowing her hair out behind her. Secure in her position, she let her mind wander again.

_I’ve never seen Xena play a real game. Her team seems to work well together in practice, though. They just… flow. She’s got this incredible command over them, as well as a mutual respect. Maybe it comes from so much experience playing together. I wonder if she and Callie ever had that while they were on the same team._

She backtracked a moment, remembering the last time she’d seen Callie.

_That girl really has some issues. I wonder when I’ll have to see her again._

“Hey, Xena?” she said over the noise of the road.

“Yes?”

“Who’re you playing today?”

“What?”

“What team are you playing today?”

“The Caemyn University Fury.”

“The _Fury_? What is the deal with all the intense team names around here? Back home we had names like the Wildcats or Falcons or Mustangs… come to think of it, we had a lot of animals. Are there-“

“Gabrielle, I can barely hear you over the road; can we talk about this later?”

“Oh. Of course.”

Gabrielle pouted silently for a moment. Out of all the things she’d been able to adjust to fairly quickly, not being able to talk while on the road wasn’t one of them.

_I don’t think I could ever convince her to get a car. She loves this thing too much. Still, if we had a car she wouldn’t have to do all the driving. I guess we can talk about it later._

Pulling into their unofficial parking space across from the apartment, Xena shut off the engine and hopped off the motorcycle, offering Gabrielle a hand down. She took it gratefully and started the walk across the street and up the stairs, slowing down when she felt Xena fiddling around in her soccer bag for the keys. Xena opened the door and Gabrielle bolted through, running through the living room and towards the bathroom, “dibs on first shower!”

Much to Gabrielle’s surprise, Xena followed close behind and swept her up off the ground, chuckling, “nice try.” Gabrielle tried to squirm out of her grasp but with her feet not touching the ground, only managed to turn so that she was facing her.

Maintaining her dignity, Gabrielle met Xena’s mischievous look with one of pure defiance. “If you won’t put me down, then you’ll just have to come in with me.”

Immediately after she said it, she wondered if she’d gone too far.

_Maybe we haven’t reached that point in our relationship yet. She’s seemed kind of hesitant to get too intimate._

Xena’s response came quickly, “Fine; it’ll save water and time,” and Gabrielle couldn’t hide the shock that flashed across her face before she regained her composure.

Xena’s brow furrowed with concern. “Were you being serious?” she asked, her blue eyes clouded.

 _I almost miss the time when she couldn’t pick up on my feelings._ Gabrielle thought it over for a moment before deciding, “of course I’m serious.”

She smoothed out the wrinkles on Xena’s forehead with her thumb and felt her shoulders relax. Xena grinned down at her, adjusting her so that she would be easier to carry, and walked through the bedroom and into the bathroom. Setting Gabrielle down on the counter, she turned the water on.

Gabrielle watched her step away and begin to remove her shoes and socks, and hopped down from her perch immediately. She moved over towards the shower and messed with the handles.

“We are _not_ taking a cold shower.” she commanded sternly, but couldn’t keep her domineering attitude up as soon as Xena started laughing, “why not? It does the most incredible things to the female body.”

“Yeah, and so does getting run over by a steamroller.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

Gabrielle shrugged nonchalantly as she slipped out of her clothes and heard Xena pull back the curtain to enter the shower.

Steam had filled the room, and the impaired vision that came with it made Gabrielle feel more at ease with being completely exposed. She stepped into the shower and let the water wash over her body, enjoying every drop while Xena stood as far away from it as she could.

“Are you a cat, Xena?” Gabrielle chuckled, glancing over her shoulder, “or can’t you handle getting a little wet?”

Xena raised an eyebrow in her trademark “oh, really?” stare, and Gabrielle turned away, knowing that that had been enough.

“No,” Xena responded in her velvet tone, “it’s just not my turn yet.”

Gabrielle’s body felt like it had been struck by lightning as Xena pressed against her from behind. Apparently, she _had_ stood under the water for a while; her skin was hot and slick against Gabrielle’s and the sensation of her lips on her neck was like nothing she’d ever felt before.

“Oh, _Xena_ ,” Gabrielle breathed by accident, her knees buckling slightly. Xena’s arms slipped around Gabrielle’s waist and steadied her as she continued to suck and nip at the tender skin below her ear.

Barely able to stand the contact, Gabrielle shuddered, and her eyes fluttered open and shut involuntarily. She instinctively reached down and moved Xena’s hands up from her waist until they latched onto her breasts. A satisfied growl escaped Xena’s lips as she worked her rough hands around Gabrielle’s chest. Gabrielle reached back with one hand and found the small of Xena’s back, pushing on it to try to bring Xena even closer.

_No one’s ever touched me like this before… I can’t keep this up much longer... She’s going to drive me insane if she teases anymore._

Regaining control from the trance that Xena’s touch had lulled her into, Gabrielle reached up to break the grip Xena’s hand had on her right breast and guided it down her abdomen, over her hips, and towards her throbbing centre. The slow, lazy drag of Xena’s fingers across Gabrielle’s skin made her even more impatient, and she was just about to force Xena’s hand against her clit when suddenly, her touch disappeared.

Gabrielle whipped her head around quickly and spat, “why’d you stop?”

Xena smirked, “my, isn’t someone a little hasty this morning?”

Gabrielle felt her face turn red with embarrassment, _I can’t just command her to do whatever I want- but, still, leaving me hanging like that wasn’t fair._

She tried to maintain her frustration by frowning, but the situation struck her as a little funny, too, and she broke character. Grinning sheepishly, she stared at the ground and felt Xena run her fingers through her hair. She picked up a whiff of a faint, fruity scent and met Xena’s crystal blue eyes again, thinking aloud, “pomegranates? Is that your shampoo?”

Xena nodded, gesturing for Gabrielle to turn around, and she obeyed. The feel of Xena’s fingers massaging her scalp was entirely new, yet somehow familiar, and Gabrielle instantly felt a wave like nostalgia come over her.

_It’s such a simple thing to do, washing my hair for me. Why does it seem so touching?_

Gabrielle smiled as the lather worked up in her hair, the smell of pomegranates growing stronger with every moment.

_I guess that’s where that part of Xena’s smell comes from. Now it’s a part of me, too._

Xena’s fingers slowly left Gabrielle’s hair, but they returned to her skin moments later with a bar of soap.

“I’ll do your back if you’ll do mine?”

Gabrielle’s heart fluttered and she nodded.

_Xena almost sounds shy- I wonder if she’s nervous._

The rough texture of Xena’s palms combined with the smoothness of the soap produced a feeling unlike any other Gabrielle had ever known- but it had that same familiar feeling as all of her other déja vu experiences. She immediately thought back to her conversation with Yakut and began entertaining some of her ideas.

 _Yakut makes even more sense in context. Maybe this_ has _happened before… I mean, assuming she’s right about this whole past lives thing._

She wrestled with the concept a little more.

_It makes perfect sense to me, in my heart. But everything I’ve ever learned has taught me that it’s ridiculous. If I can’t believe in a god my parents raised me to worship, how can I possibly even begin to accept this?_

Xena finished scrubbing her back and Gabrielle took the soap, using it to trace the lines of the muscles in her shoulders as she washed her. Her strokes felt practiced, and the terrain seemed to be a map she had studied intensively, learning every curve, impression, and outcropping.

_Put into perspective, the gravity of this whole situation seems like so much more than it once did._

An idea popped into Gabrielle’s head, and, however unethical it might be, she knew it was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. The image of Xena’s body beneath her in her dream had been completely imprinted in her mind, and if she could match the real thing to her subconscious’ adaptation, maybe she’d just have to believe Yakut.

_Studying Xena while we’re in the shower is wrong on so many levels, and if I can find proof, irrefutable proof that my unconscious mind is ahead of- or, rather, behind- my conscious self, I’ll have no choice but to tell her. She’s always so no-nonsense when it comes to spirituality; she believes that everyone should have faith in themselves to fix problems… I don’t know that she’d take it well. Then again, she’s smart. If the facts are all there, she won’t ignore them, no matter how far-fetched the idea. Who was it that said that if no logical explanation exists, there must be an illogical one?_

Deep down, she really just wanted to tell Xena everything about all the thoughts that she’d been having about Yakut’s theory. It seemed so counterintuitive to keep things from Xena, especially ideas that carried such magnitude. Secrets had always carried a sense of foreboding with them that Gabrielle didn’t quite understand, and she felt that secrets kept from Xena were doubly dangerous, and would only cause needless pain.

The movement of Gabrielle’s hands had gradually slowed as she got deeper and deeper in thought, but she was suddenly revived by a prickling of the hairs on the back of her neck that only resulted from a pair of blue eyes fixed upon her- whether she was looking back at them or not. She looked up into the azure pools of Xena’s irises and felt her heart stop. _Damn._

“What are you thinking about?” Xena asked evenly, and Gabrielle’s mind immediately began working on overdrive to formulate an explanation other than the truth. Luckily, she figured it out quickly. _I’ve got it. It’s genius._

She looked up into Xena’s eyes and said innocently, “you.”

Xena looked back at her with a slight blush in her cheeks, “what about me?”

_Alright, this is it. Play it cool._

“Just that you’re beautiful.” Gabrielle let her eyes wash over Xena’s entire form, from the top of her head to her toes. Her breath caught in her throat as she realised two things: One, that Xena’s body was absolutely flawless, and two, the body from her dream was exactly the same as the one standing before her now. Gabrielle almost abandoned her scientific curiosity; she was so taken by Xena’s appearance, but she quickly composed herself and drew some conclusions.

_Sure, she’s missing some scars, but then again, if we were in a different life, those wouldn’t show up again in the same places. More importantly, though, in my dream, there was a freckle on the underside of her left breast, and a birthmark above her right. And they’re still here now. That dream was real. Yakut has to be right._

Gabrielle looked up at Xena again, smiling wistfully. Xena’s stormy eyes pierced her skin, the desire evident in her face making Gabrielle’s heart rate increase to a dangerous level.

_Maybe I shouldn’t be worried us having sex. She might just be waiting for the right moment… God, I hope she finds it sooner rather than later._

To diffuse the situation, and divert Xena’s gaze, Gabrielle reached over Xena’s shoulder and grabbed the shampoo, pouring some of it into her hand and nodding to Xena to turn around. Xena took a deep breath and obeyed, and they spent the rest of their shower focusing on actually getting clean as Gabrielle racked her brain about how to tell Xena that they’d been together in a former life… and that even the concept of a “former life” was one she should definitely start buying into.

_“Hey, I know we just started dating but I had a sex dream about you and then I talked to a grad student who thinks it means we’re a pair of lovers reincarnated. Pass the ketchup?”_

Gabrielle shook her head at the notion and hoped Xena didn’t notice as she’d been focusing on turning off the water.

Once they dried off, Xena went ahead and changed into her home game uniform and started digging around in the fridge. Gabrielle thought about all the events that had just transpired as she sat at the kitchen table and chuckled, shaking her head. Xena looked at her from around the refrigerator door, eyebrow raised.

“What?” she asked almost incredulously.

Laughing even harder, Gabrielle answered her question with another question, “why did you shower if you’re just going to go right back out there and get sweaty again?”

Not faltering for a second, Xena retorted, “I seem to recall a certain blonde-haired beauty delivering an ultimatum that I could turn to my benefit fairly easily.”

Gabrielle grinned, loving this game Xena played with her every so often. Shrugging and tossing Gabrielle an apple, Xena continued, “it would have been rude to turn down an invitation like that… and, given my options, it was the only logical choice.”

Just barely catching the flying fruit, Gabrielle decided to up the stakes a little. Lowering her voice a touch to imitate Xena’s, she raised her eyebrows and gestured with the apple, “I think you know that this isn’t what I’m hungry for.”

Xena strode with measured steps towards Gabrielle and leaned over her, stoking the fire that still smoldered beneath her skin. She kissed her hard and Gabrielle’s breath slipped away instantly as she became completely engrossed in the contact. Her eyes closed in bliss, Gabrielle moved her hands up to pull Xena closer, but Xena grabbed her wrists before she could get close enough.

Gabrielle opened her mouth to protest, but was silenced by the feel of Xena’s breath in her ear, chills racing down her spine.

“Well, there’s plenty more where that came from- but I’ve got to go meet my team on the field.”

_I’ve got a feeling she’s not talking about the apple._

Gabrielle nodded, pouting slightly to ensure Xena knew that all this teasing wasn’t fair, and kissed her goodbye.

Xena slung her soccer bag over her shoulder and tossed Gabrielle the house keys with a “don’t forget to lock up when you leave”, and then she was gone.

With her girlfriend absent, Gabrielle considered a phone call to Yakut for more advice, or maybe even to Lilla- but instead she felt discouraged from reaching out to anyone and turned on the television. She mindlessly stared at the pictures flashing by on the screen and, after a time, grew restless.

_Maybe I’ll walk to the game. Sure, it’s kind of far away, but there’s plenty of sidewalks all around here. Besides, it’s cheaper than calling a cab._

Her mind made up, she switched off the TV and stood up, walking purposefully towards the bedroom to grab her wallet and phone. Given the bite in the air outside, she also thought it wise to wear a sweater, then saw Xena’s brown leather jacket resting on the bed. With a sheepish grin, she slipped it on and relished in its warmth and in the experience of being surrounded by Xena’s scent.

She fumbled around in her pocket for the key once she reached the front door and walked out, locking it behind her. The wind had picked up a little since the morning, and Gabrielle turned up her collar against it, tucking her hands further into the too-long jacket sleeves.

The buildings on either side of her passed by slowly, and she inhaled deeply when she passed the café across the street, the rich coffee smell almost persuading her to go in and buy something. The coffee Xena made was entirely utilitarian; she took it black and only in small doses to give her a small boost, and only when she was remarkably tired. Gabrielle, on the other hand, liked her coffee to be an experience, taking care to mix just the right amount of cream and sugar and, if she was lucky and the spice cabinet allowed for it, a dash of cinnamon to result in a perfect, even blend.

She smiled as she thought about the time she’d made Xena coffee and she’d looked at her as if she was insane. _“Why’s it that colour?”_ she’d asked in complete seriousness, and Gabrielle had told her that it was because it was “ _good_ coffee, the kind that’s actually enjoyable to ingest”.

Then Xena hadn’t been able to sleep that night and made Gabrielle stay up with her as revenge- apparently she only drank tiny amounts of coffee because, big as her body was, it just couldn’t handle caffeine.

Realising she was walking down the street and smiling at nothing, Gabrielle regained control of her expression and settled on what she hoped was a thoughtful gaze straight ahead.

Shoving her hands in her pockets, she felt her phone vibrate and grabbed it, grinning again when she saw that it was a text from Lilla.

_Hey, that stud of yours is a footballer, right?_

Gabrielle shook her head and rolled her eyes, responding quickly. _Yes, Lilla, but I don’t know if I’d put it that way. Or if anyone would. Is “footballer” even a real word?_

The telltale three dots flashed on the screen to signal that Lilla was typing, then the message came in: _Sure it is! Just needed to check and make sure I had my facts straight!_

Cocking her head to the side, Gabrielle tried to figure out what she meant by that, but before she could even begin to formulate an appropriate response, another text came through.

_What’s her number? Six, eleven, or one?_

Lilla’s second question was even more confusing, and Gabrielle answered, _six? Pretty sure you could’ve just Googled that._ /p>

She was about a hundred yards from the stadium when Lilla texted, _She’s big! How come she’s not a keeper?_

_I don’t know, Lil, but what’s with the twenty questions?_

No response.

 _Oh well,_ Gabrielle sighed, _she can be a bit weird sometimes. Maybe she was testing me or something._

She showed her student ID to the ticket office and walked into the stadium, which was mostly empty but had pockets of people scattered here and there.

_I guess Xena wasn’t kidding when she said women’s soccer didn’t get much support. They only even got the stadium because the men’s team begged for it. I wonder if I can find a way to increase turnout; it’d make her so happy._

Gabrielle walked around the stadium and looked for a spot by midfield, hoping to get a good view of Xena throughout the game. Suddenly, one of Lilla’s statements floated back across the forefront of her mind and struck her as odd. _Wait, how would she know how big she is?_

“GABRIELLE!”

As if on cue, three voices called her name in unison from about twenty yards away. Her face a mix of horror and surprise, Gabrielle looked up and into the faces of her sister, mother, and father. They were waving at her and she instinctively waved back, still trying to process what this could mean. Lilla ran over while her parents stayed put, and enveloped Gabrielle in a monstrous hug.

“Hey, Gabby!” she chimed, “surprise!”

Still at a loss for words, Gabrielle’s mouth just hung open for a while until she could finally choke out, “what are you doing here?”

Lilla shuffled her feet and shrugged her shoulders, “well, mother and father wanted to come surprise you today and they were going to just show up at your dorm.”

“But I don’t even-”

“I know; you’ve already shacked up with tall, dark, and speedy. That’s why I so innocently told our parents that you told me you were going to this soccer game and we should just meet you there. You’re welcome!”

Lilla’s cheery disposition seemed alien to Gabrielle, whose mind was still reeling over a host of flaws in her sister’s plan.

“Let me get this straight,” she began, holding up her index finger, “you thought the best solution would be to bring them here, to my girlfriend’s- _who they don’t even know exists_ \- soccer match.”

“Right.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell them it was a bad idea to come in the first place?”

Lilla rolled her eyes as if the answer was obvious. “If I had said, ‘no, we shouldn’t visit Gabrielle’, they would’ve asked why- and you know how father is; he doesn’t understand ‘no’ in the first place, and he would have immediately suspected something was up and come himself without warning anyone. I did you a favour, big sis.”

Gabrielle sighed, pressing her forefinger and thumb to the bridge of her nose to stave off the headache that was already starting to form at the thought of having to listen to her father for the next ninety minutes.

Lilla’s expression softened and she squeezed Gabrielle’s shoulder gently, “don’t worry about it, Gabs. I got us a spot near midfield and pretty close to the front, so you can still watch your big hunk play. As long as you can keep yourself from drooling, father probably won’t even be able to tell you’ve been taking a nosedive in her-”

“Don’t even go there. Let’s just go meet father and mother and act natural.”

_Yeah, just act natural… somehow._

Xena stood with her team in their usual pregame locker-room huddle. It was her responsibility to pump up the team and make sure they were ready for the game. Keeping her players in the right mental state was just as important as keeping them physically fit, and she always wanted them to be confident before a game.

“Alright, everyone, this is the first real game of the season. I know that there are some of you who are nervous, and I only have one thing to say to you: snap out of it. This is our home field, and we have a responsibility to defend it… god knows the men won’t.”

Her quip elicited a chuckle from the team, and she felt the energy in the room growing more positive. She laughed along with her teammates and smiled confidently, “now what’s the best offence?”

“The best defence!” shouted all of her wing and centre backs, pumping their fists in the air, with a few cries of “left side, best side” interspersed throughout the team.

“That’s right!” Xena shouted, “and I want a shutout from you. If they can’t score, they can’t win. Offence, I want us to have possession the entire game. Don’t give the ball away on a stupid run when a pass back is open. If they never touch the ball, they can’t win. Last, even if we’re up by ten, I want you to play like it’s zero-zero. Don’t slack off. No matter what happens, we are going to play good soccer.”

Some garble from the announcer’s booth let Xena know that it was almost time to head out, so she put her hand in the middle of the huddle.

“Hands in. ‘Play like a champion’ on three, one, two, three-”

“PLAY LIKE A CHAMPION!”

The players all ran out with their keeper in the front, and they were met by a cheering audience. Xena grinned at the turnout.

_Even more people have shown up since we went into the locker room. Maybe the World Cup got them interested… I refuse to believe it as just because of the men’s team that we have this stadium._

All the starters sprinted to their predetermined positions and Xena went to the centre of the field to shake the Fury captain’s hand and participate in the coin toss. The Fury captain was tall and intense, with dark hair and pale blue eyes. She met Xena’s gaze steadily and extended her hand.

“Velasca.” she stated plainly, and Xena took her hand hard and responded in much the same tone, “Xena.”

_She’s not as hostile as Callie… but I can tell she doesn’t like me very much._

The ref relayed the rules of the game to the captains, and as it wasn’t either of their first time, they didn’t pay much attention to him until he said, “is that clear?”, to which they both responded flatly, “yes, sir.”

“Xena, since it’s your home field, call it in the air.”

Xena nodded curtly to the ref then fixed her eyes on the coin. It began its arc into the air and she dug into her instinct and stated confidently, “tails.” The coin was, in fact, tails, and Xena ran back to her team to tell them they were starting with the ball. She took her place at left mid and watched her forwards spring into action as soon as the whistle blew. More cheering came from the crowd, but Xena blocked it out, focusing only on what was happening on the field.

Almost immediately, the ball was at her feet, and she looked up for a split second to gauge her options. She knew they started off in a 3-5-2, but the fluidity of that arrangement made it so everyone could pretty much move at their leisure, something that was a gift when performing an attack, but slightly difficult to settle into right off the bat.

One of her centre mids, Kyme, was wide open, but Tereis the forward was marked. Xena could hear Echephyle, her left back, calling for the ball behind her, but shook her head.

_I don’t want to pull that far back this early. If Tereis is already guarded, that means Kyme will be in a matter of seconds… the best move is…_

Looking up again to confirm the pass, Xena made eye contact with Camilla, the right mid, and crossed the ball, effectively switching the field and forcing the Fury to reorient themselves. Just as she suspected, Kyme was covered and would have lost the ball unless she had help. Xena mirrored Camilla’s run up the field, making sure to stay on side, and held her breath when she saw Velasca challenge her.

In another split-second decision, Camilla pulled the ball back and sent it to the right back, Alcinoe, who wasted no time in passing it off to Marpesia, the attacking centre back. Marpesia volleyed it to Kyme, and then it ended up at the feet of Tereis.

_Nobody’s on her; they’re still trying to recover from the switch._

Tereis blasted off up the field and Xena followed close behind, providing support and an extra option. As fast as her breakaway was, it was still fairly short-lived; the Fury’s defence closed in quickly.

Having anticipated that, Xena called to Tereis, who passed the ball back immediately. Xena volleyed the ball to the side a bit, and Kyme sprinted to receive the sneaky pass. With the Fury defenders still focused on the left wing, she easily broke into the centre of the field and sent a beautiful shot straight into the back of the net. The keeper dove, but there was nothing she could do; the opportunity was too clear and the maneuver too practiced.

A roar erupted from the crowd and Kyme raced over to Xena, grinning from ear to ear. She leapt into Xena’s arms and the much taller woman caught her easily as the entire Gladiator offence formed a small celebratory huddle. The team made their way back to their starting positions and waited for the ref to blow the whistle.

“Remember who’s running,” Xena said just loud enough so her teammates could hear, and Tereis and Myrine nodded curtly to indicate that they hadn’t forgotten. The whistle blew and the Fury forwards started their attack. Before they could even take two touches, though, Myrine and Tereis were barrelling towards them at full speed.

Xena saw how her opponents seemed stunned by the pressure and then one of them made a bad call: she did what Xena’s coach would call a “panic kick” and hit the ball randomly- right into the path of Kyme’s overlapping run. The centre mid started up the field again, but was blocked by two defenders who had apparently learned their lesson. She quickly knocked the ball towards Marpesia, who passed to Alcinoe- and Xena picked up on the strategy.

She’d run this play so many times at practice and knew what was coming- now she just had to avoid giving it away. Alcinoe passed to Amynomene at centre back, who crossed the ball up to Xena. The play had diverted the Fury forwards so that they weren’t where they needed to be, and Xena had a clear path to the goal- minus a few defenders, anyway. She took off dribbling down the field as soon as she had the ball, and expertly outmaneuvered two defenders.

Last to trick was the keeper, and she did so by rearing back like she was going to send a scorcher to the right, then passing the ball into the left corner of the net. The keeper took the bait and they were now up 2-0. Xena caught a flying Kyme again and made her way back to her spot.

The crowd was going wild, and Xena almost got choked up at the turnout.

 _Sure, it’s still kind of patchy, but everyone who’s here really seems to care._ She took a moment to scan the audience for her Gabrielle, but couldn’t find her. _She wouldn’t miss this game, would she? Maybe she fell asleep; I did prevent her from having her coffee this morning._

Slightly disheartened, Xena turned back to refocus on the game. After two goals had been scored on them, the Fury seemed to wake up. Possession and gameplay was much more even, and the ball saw more of the right side of the field than the left. Suddenly, a brilliant cross came from Camilla, and Xena found herself with the ball at her feet again.

At the very same time that she took off like a shot, a searing pain shot through Xena’s calf and she crumpled onto the ground, crying out in agony. She squeezed her eyes shut as a hush fell over the audience, except for a lone voice that she heard call “XENA!”

_Gabrielle._

Still clutching her right calf, she opened her eyes to search for the blonde. Her eyes fell first on Tereis, who kneeled before her, asking her a question Xena hadn’t been paying attention to. She could just barely pick up on the sound of Kyme yelling at the ref and at Velasca about a “bullshit tackle”, but her ears were trained on the frequency that only Gabrielle’s voice had.

She very faintly heard Gabrielle muttering and realised that she’d been in the stands on her side of the field the whole game. Her head jerked towards where she’d heard her name and she saw the blonde running down the stairs of the stadium and pressing up against the railing like she had when she’d walked in on Xena’s fight.

Even though her leg was throbbing, Xena smiled weakly at the sight of Gabrielle bundled up in her brown leather jacket.

“Xena,” Tereis said urgently, turning her head with one finger so she’d have to face her, “are you even listening to me? I asked you if Velasca got you or the ball.”

Based on the horrible burning sensation in her leg, Xena didn’t even have to think twice.

“Oh, it was all me,” she chuckled bitterly.

She looked down at her calf, which was now bleeding through her sock, and saw Tereis nod to the ref as her trainers rushed onto the field.

“It’s not broken and nothing’s torn,” she told them calmly, “just needs a bit of a patch job.”

Tereis rolled her eyes and added, “if she’s bleeding like that then the tackle was cleats-up. Just bandage her leg and we can decide whether she can continue at half.”

Xena shot Tereis a glare but held her tongue. _Half’s in five minutes! Plus some stoppage time for this, but I’m not going to come out just because of a cheap shot._

The trainers followed Tereis’ instructions and Kyme came over to pull Xena up off the ground, beaming as she told her that her argument with the ref resulted in a red card. Xena shook her head, knowing she should scold the younger player for being excited that someone got ejected, but smiled back in spite of herself.

_She can be a little hotheaded, maybe too much at times… But you can’t deny that she’s got talent- and plenty of heart._

Tussling Kyme’s short, black curls, Xena pushed her to the side affectionately, “it wasn’t even a fair fight; I know you’re a political science major- now get to your position so I can take this free kick.”

Kyme saluted sarcastically, “you got it, Cap,” and ran back to her position.

She might even make a great captain after I’m gone… Tereis is a senior, too, so she can’t fill my shoes.

The ref came over and told Xena that Velasca had been ejected for a deliberate, dangerous tackle, and Xena nodded and accepted the ball that was passed to her. Tentatively, she put all her weight on her right leg and did her best to hide her wince as her cut throbbed once.

_Oh well. I’ll just have to play through it._

She pressed on her leg and after a moment, it was almost as if it wasn’t there. Taking a quick look over towards where Gabrielle was still clutching the railing, Xena waved reassuringly and stepped back to take her free kick.

_I’ll fill her in on everything later._

She re-entered her zone and placed a kick well; it went right to the feet of Tereis, who made short work of scoring. 3-0. At the half, Xena rushed over to the sidelines and pulled herself up onto the railing of the stadium to meet Gabrielle.

“Xena, what happened? I was so worried about you; don’t you ever do that to me again!”

The blonde threw her arms around Xena’s shoulders and she smiled, comforted by how much she cared.

“It’s just a scratch,” Xena reassured her, “they’re gonna look at it some more when I get back to the locker room, but I’m alright.”

She felt Gabrielle nod into her shoulder and then pull back.

“You better go, then,” she said, sighing, “I don’t want them rushing to get you back out there. Please be careful, I love you.”

“I love you, Gabrielle,” Xena smiled, then leaned in to kiss her.

Her face full of apprehension, Gabrielle leaned back and shook her head. It was barely a motion at all, but Xena picked up on it. Puzzled and slightly hurt, she respected her wishes and hopped down from the railing, jogging back to meet her teammates in the locker room. Waiting to meet her in the tunnel was Amynomene.

“What is it, Amy?” Xena asked when she saw the way she stood with her arms crossed, like she was awaiting a confrontation.

“Oh, nothing, really,” she responded, “I just wanted to wait for you in case it seemed like you needed help getting across the field.”

“You saw me running; I’m alright, really.”

Amy rolled her eyes and smiled, “don’t think I don’t know about that pain block thing you do. It’s a pressure point, isn’t it?”

Taken aback by the directness and specificity of the question, Xena simply stared at her in shock. Amy continued, “I remember last year when Tereis broke her ankle. You were right by her side the whole time and you did something to her and she stopped crying. I just watched you do it again today. Take it off.”

“What?” Xena spat incredulously.

“You heard me. Take it off. We need you and I don’t want this to get any worse than it already is.”

The way Amy spoke was so calm, collected, and direct, just like she talked on the field. She was the unsung hero of the team, a quiet leader who just seemed to have wisdom beyond her years.

Xena bowed her head slowly. “I know,” she sighed, “you’re right.”

Jabbing her fingers into her calf in two quick motions, Xena felt the pain come back in a massive wave that made her sway where she stood. Amy was quick to catch her and drew her arm around her shoulders, supporting her all the way back into the locker room.

_Damn. I can’t even put weight on it._

The first person she made eye contact with was Kyme. “Xena, what’s wrong?” she shouted, calling for the trainers.

_Perhaps before I suggest to coach that she be made captain, I should teach her some tact._

“What happened?” one of the trainers asked as Kyme pushed him towards the injured Xena.

“It’s just the scratch from that tackle,” Xena sighed, trying to sound nonchalant.

“You were up and running five minutes ago,” the trainer said with an accusatory tone, “what happened _since_ then?”

Xena opened her mouth, unable to come up with a good defence, then Amy spoke for her, “I think it was an adrenaline rush. Blocked out the pain, you know.”

Shooting a grateful look at her defender, Xena nodded.

The trainer sighed and shook his head, mumbling something about stubborn athletes and waving Amy and Xena into the back room. They hobbled over and Xena pushed herself up onto the exam table, thanking Amy and telling her to let the team know it wasn’t too serious and she hoped she’d still be able to play the second half.

The moment she left the room, the trainer looked pointedly at Xena.

“You don’t seriously think I’m gonna let you play the second half, do you?” he grilled her.

“We don’t know what it is yet,” she spat defensively as he pulled off her sock and unraveled the bandages the other trainer had applied on the field. Blood still trickled from her calf and even she had to admit that it looked rough- just not out loud.

“That’s not good, Xena,” the trainer sighed, “it’s gonna take a few stitches to close it up.”

Before she could open her mouth to protest, the trainer held up his hand, “but it’s not too bad, either, and you should be up and running again in two or three days. Just, please, take it easy for the next few days and be still while I stitch you up.”

Clenching her jaw in frustration and disappointment, Xena nodded and let the trainer disinfect, stitch, and bandage her wound. After about ten minutes, she limped back to the main locker room where her coach was assigning positions.

“Oh, there you are, Xena!” she exclaimed, “I’m glad you could join us.”

A touch of cautiousness crept into her voice as she inquired, “how are you feeling?”

Xena shook her head, “fine, but I’m out for the rest of the game.”

Coach looked disappointed as she nodded, and told Xena that she could finish deciding the lineup. She kept it the same as the starters, but moved Kyme into left mid and gave a new player Kyme’s position.

_We’ve got a comfortable enough lead that coach would probably have taken me and some of the other seniors out anyway, just to see what the freshmen can do._

A garbled announcement came over the speakers of the stadium and Xena knew that it was time to go. The team lined up and a thought clawed at Xena’s mind.

_It’d be the right thing to do… as well as send a message to Coach about what I think should be done after I graduate._

Quickly sliding it off her own arm, Xena passed the captain’s armband to Amynomene, who looked back at her with brows arched in surprise.

“Keep them together” was all Xena needed to say before Amy nodded in understanding.

They walked out onto the field and Xena listened as Amy gave the pep talk. Her energy was completely different than Xena’s, much calmer and quieter, yet the whole team seemed to be captivated by her words and stood confidently in their positions on the field once the whistle blew.

Xena sat on the bench with her coach, watching her team intently.

“Amynomene, huh?” Coach finally said after several minutes of silence.

Xena nodded without taking her eyes off the field, “she’s a quiet leader. Intuitive and sensitive. When she talks, the team listens. She keeps her head and keeps everyone else grounded.”

Grunting in agreement, Coach continued, “so you’re essentially telling me you’ve picked a successor?”

“More or less.”

“Let me guess, you’ve got the next four years of leadership planned out, too?” Coach teased.

Xena knew it was a joke, but it held some truth, and she saw that her coach realised it just as much as she did when she asked, “And after Amy?”

“Kyme.”

The name rolled off her tongue easily, and as soon as she’d said it out loud, she felt even more assured that that was the way it should be.

Coach scoffed with shock, “ _Kyme?_ She’s only a sophomore- and a hotheaded sophomore at that- how do you figure she’d be a good leader?”

Xena shrugged, “call it a gut feeling. She’s a solid player, creative on the ball. Might be a little young now, but she’ll grow into her potential… and learn how to use her outspoken tendencies to the team’s advantage.”

She finally looked over at her coach, who nodded. A Xena “gut feeling” was right a solid ninety-nine percent of the time and she knew it.

Over the course of the second half, Xena’s team managed to score twice more but conceded one goal. Even still, a victory was a victory, and Xena couldn’t be more pleased as she joined her team celebrating in the locker room.

After only about ten minutes, she excused herself and retreated to the showers, knowing it would take her longer than her teammates to clean up since she had to avoid her stitches.

_And I’ve got to get to Gabrielle. She seemed… off when I spoke to her._

There were several close calls as the hot water snaked its way down towards the bandages, but she was able to wash off all the grime from the first half, at least for the most part.

Throwing on some black jeans, tan combat boots, and a black shirt, she stuffed her soccer gear into her bag and tossed it into the laundry room; the school would wash it for her.

She moved swiftly past her teammates; _as much as they want to celebrate, Gabrielle’s got to be my priority right now. If something happened and I could have prevented it, I’d never forgive myself._

Rushing out of the locker room as fast as her leg would allow, she nearly rammed into a girl at the top of the stairs. She was just about to grumble something about people not knowing when to get out of the way when the girl squeaked, “Xena! You get back here!”

That got Xena’s attention. She looked over her shoulder at the girl. She was short and had long, dark hair. Her blue-green eyes reminded Xena a little of Gabrielle.

“Yes?” she asked, making sure to add just an ounce of gruffness to her tone to make sure the girl knew she was in a hurry.

“You might want to talk to me before you go out there or else something really bad might happen.”

Xena instinctively tightened her fists, “is that a threat?”

“No, no!” the girl waved her hands to emphasize her answer.

Fixing the stranger with her steely blue gaze, Xena waited for an explanation. After a moment of unease, a lightbulb seemed to go off in the girl’s mind and she laughed, “oh, you don’t know who I am, do you?”

Xena raised an eyebrow in response.

“Hi, I’m Lilla,” the girl said, extending her hand, “Gabrielle’s sister.”

All the pieces clicked in Xena’s mind. The more she looked at Lilla, the more clear the resemblance was. Banishing her abrasive attitude, Xena took the hand that was extended to her, smiling warmly, “I’d tell you my name is Xena but you seem to have that figured out already.”

Lilla laughed again, “oh, you have _no_ idea. I swear Gabrielle can’t even get through an entire sentence without something reminding her of you and sparking a story.”

Xena felt her skin flush lightly and her eyes flickered to the ground. Rubbing the back of her neck self-consciously, she opened her mouth to try and change the subject. When Lilla beat her to it, she breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

“Me and my parents just came up to see Gabrielle.”

Her tone was cheerful, but Xena sensed something beneath it and cocked her head to the side slightly, a prying expression on her face. That was all it took for Lilla to fold. Sighing, she shook her head, “Look, Xena, I wish I were coming back here to congratulate you on your win and tell you how happy I am for you and Gabrielle, but there really isn’t time for all that. I came to warn you.”

Her brow furrowing, Xena asked darkly, “warn me about what?”

Lilla took a deep breath before she spoke, like she needed as much air as she could get to carry the words out of her mouth.

“Me and Gabrielle come from a really traditional family. There are lots of rules about what we can and can’t do, who we can and can’t see, what we can and can’t think, and our father…”

She paused a moment to swallow then rolled up the sleeves of her blouse. Splotches of green, purple, and blue were smeared across her arms, and fury sliced through Xena’s mind as she realised what Lilla was about to say.

“I don’t know how much Gabrielle told you about him, but he doesn’t really handle ideas that are different than his very well. Last week I told him that I was angry that the men at my job made more than me and he disagreed. Gabrielle got it a lot worse than I did when she still lived at home. She never could keep quiet about what she thought.” Lilla chuckled as she finished, but still sounded unbelievably sad.

Xena felt a pang of painful empathy as the girl standing before her stared at the ground again. She wanted to comfort her, but knew that there were some things that she couldn’t fix.

“My parents were going to try to surprise Gabrielle in her dorm, but I knew she didn’t live there anymore and convinced them that just meeting her here would be better. I know that puts you in kind of a bad situation, but I figured it would be better than the alternative.”

Nodding to indicate that she understood, Xena spoke gently, as if talking loudly would cause Lilla to shatter. “Thank you for looking out for Gabrielle.”

She wasn’t sure what else to say to the girl who had stuck by her girlfriend through her hard times, and who continued to be a protector for her even when she didn’t ask for it.

Lilla spoke up again,“if it makes you feel better, I don’t think my father suspects you’re together, but when you got hurt, Gabby kind of freaked out. After that, Mother might know, but if she does, she won’t say anything; Father wouldn’t believe it and he’d be enraged. To be perfectly honest, I don’t want to know what he would do if he found out. Just be careful. Gabrielle really loves you and I don’t want our father to ruin what you guys have.”

Xena smiled half-heartedly, unsure of how she was going to handle the situation she had been presented with.

 _I suppose I’ve dealt with worse,_ she tried to reassure herself. Objectively, that much was clear to Xena, but in her heart, she felt that anything having to do with Gabrielle was more important.

“I’ve got to get back,” Lilla kept talking; she appeared to have grown accustomed to Xena’s constant silence, “I told everyone I was going to the bathroom and if I’m gone more than ten minutes Father will send out a search party.”

Unsure of whether or not Lilla was joking, Xena’s brow furrowed for a moment, then she let herself chuckle when Lilla smiled.

Waving, Lilla turned around and started walking out.

Half an idea started forming in Xena’s mind, and just as Lilla was about to turn the corner, Xena called,“Why don’t I come with you? I’ve got a plan.”

Gabrielle sat on the bleachers between her parents, an uncomfortable silence filling the air. She had had to endure an entire soccer game’s worth of passive-aggressive comments from her father as well as lie about most of the aspects of her life to her mother, who seemed to want to know every detail about her college experience. It made her wonder a bit if her mother wished she could have attended college instead of marrying her father straight out of high school.

Doing her best to keep the peace in her family, Gabrielle had tried as hard as she could not to engage when her father started picking at her, searching for something to criticise. It was getting more and more difficult, and at this point, she really just wanted to go home.

_If I get through this visit, I can go to the café across the street and drink coffee and study and write… maybe I can even convince Xena to come with me- and if she doesn’t want to go, I still get to come home to her tonight._

Gabrielle grinned absentmindedly, knowing that Xena would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with her. She inhaled deeply to get a whiff of the comforting scent on her girlfriend’s jacket.

_I hope Xena’s really okay. She seemed like she was but then again she didn’t play in the second half…_

Before she could worry any longer, Lilla’s voice cut into her thoughts.

“Hey, guys! Guess who I found?”

Gabrielle jumped and looked up to see her sister walking side by side with Xena. Her heart stopped, then began to beat out of control as she realised that she was going to have to be in the same space as Xena and her parents.

_What on earth is Lilla thinking!?_

She looked on either side of her to see her parents’ reactions, and zeroed in on her father in particular. Her mother’s face was blank, and the corners of her father’s mouth were turned down in a slight scowl, but then again they always were; it was nothing unusual.

They’re both totally unreadable.

Turning her attention back to the two approaching women, Gabrielle studied Xena’s face. Upon making eye contact, Xena’s expression changed slightly. It was just a brief flicker in her eyes, a tiny glimmer of reassurance, but it was enough to convey her message.

_Xena’s got a plan. I don’t know what it is, but I have to trust her._

The closer Lilla and Xena got, the more agitated Gabrielle’s father seemed to become until he finally stood up, jaw tight and chest puffed up.

“Dad, this is Xena,” Lilla said, gesturing to the much taller woman with both hands, “I got turned around on the way back from the restroom and if she hadn’t found me, I may have been mistaken for an athlete and been forced to exercise.”

She laughed cheerily as Xena stuck her hand out cordially, nodding her head once and mumbling “sir”. Gabrielle watched anxiously as her father took Xena’s hand and shook it once.

_She’s almost an inch taller than him! There is no way he is going to take kindly to her._

Standing up and rushing to her girlfriend’s side, Gabrielle spoke up before her father could possibly think of anything derogatory to say.

“That’s actually how I met Xena, too! I got lost on my way to class and she helped me find my way around. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”

She grinned up at Xena, who smiled back gently, her eyes glowing with an affection she hoped her father didn’t notice.

_Okay, so maybe it was a little lie, but if it makes today any easier, it’s worth it._

Her hopes for a casual first meeting fell immediately when her father grunted, “so, Xena, you make it a habit of escorting young girls around?”

_Oh, god. Here we go._

Xena’s voice travelled smoothly through the air as she fixed him with a calculating stare.

“Of course. Sometimes they just need someone to guide them through the motions before they can do it themselves.”

She ended her comment with a roguish grin, making Lilla nearly burst out laughing and Gabrielle grow pale.

_If this is her plan, I don’t know if we’re going to live to see tomorrow._

Gabrielle watched her father’s eyes glint with rage and his mouth twist into a grimace, but again he was interrupted, this time by her mother, who stood up and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Herodotus, there’s no need to grill Xena for helping our daughters. As a matter of fact, maybe we should return the favour.”

She looked all the way up into Xena’s eyes and suggested, “how about you let us take you out to lunch? It’s really the least we could do.”

Gabrielle looked at Xena in a panic. She seemed a little taken aback by the request and stammered, “oh, no thank you, ma’am, it’s really too much for me to accept-”

“Come on, now, I insist,” Hecuba interrupted, “What do you say, Gabrielle? Maybe you can convince her.”

Gabrielle’s mouth hung open as she looked back and forth between the faces of her mother, father, and girlfriend, the former with a pleading expression and the two latter showing varying degrees of discomfort.

_Father looks furious… At this point it might actually be better for Xena and I to stick together. Hopefully he won’t try to hit me or Lilla or mother if we’re out in public._

She shot a desperate look at Xena, hoping to get her point across. To her relief, Xena seemed to understand. She shrugged and agreed to lunch, and Hecuba’s face lit up.

“Wonderful! Now, I saw the cutest little restaurant on the way here, do you remember where it was, dear? Herodotus, are you listening?”

He responded with a grunt, then Hecuba turned back to Xena.

“We can even take you there if you need us to- it’ll be a squeeze, but the car can handle it-”

“No, that’s alright, ma’am,” Xena cut her off, “I’ve got my own ride. Just let me know the name of the place and I can find it.”

“What was it, Lilla?” Hecuba asked, turning to her younger daughter, “you were the one who pointed it out.”

Lilla thought for a moment, then answered confidently, “Denárion. I remember because it was the only new-looking place on that street with all the old buildings.”

Xena sighed and looked down at the ground. It was just for a brief moment, but Gabrielle had spent enough time with her to catch it.

 _What’s wrong?_ she asked Xena with her eyes, and the response came in the form of another glance at the ground, one at Herodotus and Hecuba, and a small head nod. _She’ll tell me later._

“I’ll go with Xena,” Gabrielle announced, “she needs a navigator while she drives.”

Her decision was met with a knowing glance from Lilla, a grin of agreement from her mother, and an even darker scowl from her father.

“I’m parked on the other end of the complex, so we’ll probably get there a few minutes later,” Xena said.

Hecuba nodded and turned around to walk to her car, closely followed by Lilla. Herodotus lingered for a moment to shoot another glare at Xena over his shoulder, a look which she met with a confident smile, then stalked away behind his wife and daughter. The tension in the air dissipated as soon as they were out of sight, and Gabrielle felt her shoulders relax.

Turning to Xena, she began to tease, “did you really have to park all the way on the other side of the-?”

Her sentence was cut short as Xena swept her up and kissed her hard, making her brain feel fuzzy and her knees weak. She melted into her girlfriend’s arms and closed her eyes, no longer feeling the cold or the breeze, only Xena’s warmth and protection. When she was finally released, Gabrielle shook her head to clear out the stars that still twinkled in her vision.

“I’m actually parked right around the corner,” Xena smirked, “I just wanted to do that.”

Still coming out of her daze, Gabrielle grinned, “I guess I never really gave you a proper celebration for your win.”

She stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around Xena’s neck, kissing her again. The beginnings of a thought formed in her mind, and when she felt Xena shift her weight to one leg, it completed itself.

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed, pulling away quickly, “how is your leg? You didn’t even play the second half; are you gonna be okay?”

Xena smiled reassuringly and captured Gabrielle’s now-frantic hands in her own steady pair.

“It’s just a cut. It needed a few stitches and I have to take it easy for a few days, but it’s going to be alright.”

Gabrielle considered arguing that anything that needed stitches could not be described as “just a cut”, but decided it wasn’t really that important. What mattered was that Xena was okay.

“We’d better get going,” Xena said, gently urging Gabrielle towards the exit of the stadium, “no one’s going to believe it takes more than five minutes to get across a parking lot- and your father may be timing us.”

Pouting slightly, Gabrielle took up her position beside Xena and slipped her hand through the crook of her arm.

“I’m really sorry about my father,” she sighed as they left the stadium, “he just can’t seem to understand… well, a _lot_ of things.”

Xena smiled, “he doesn’t worry me; I can handle him. All your father’s doing is trying to intimidate me, and that won’t work- as a matter of fact, I might beat him at his own game. And you’re more than worth it.”

Gabrielle blushed and smiled back. _She can be such a romantic when she wants to be. I wonder how many people know she’s just a big softie._

“I love you, Xena.”

“I love you, too.”

Gabrielle felt a stirring sensation in her heart, one that she couldn’t overcome as she blurted out, “you know, Xena, it doesn’t matter what my family thinks. If I had to choose between them and you, I’d pick you in a heartbeat.”

Looking at the ground with an expression halfway between remorse and shyness, Xena blushed, “I can’t ask you to choose.”

“You don’t have to.”

Gabrielle was surprised at the conviction in her own voice. She had always been told that family was the most important thing in life, and although it was usually said to emphasize her father’s view that no child should ever deviate from the views of their parents, she still believed it to hold some truth. Her relationship with Lilla had been the most important thing throughout her childhood and even as she grew up, but what she had with Xena seemed to fill a void she didn’t even know she’d had.

Xena brought out a part of her that she hadn’t even known existed until that first day they met, and she felt so absolutely whole that she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have that part of her taken away. At the mere thought of a life without Xena, her grip instinctively tightened on her girlfriend’s forearm, earning her a kiss on the forehead before her hand was gently eased away and a helmet was nudged into it.  
In all the time she’d been thinking, she hadn’t noticed that they’d made their way all the way across the lot and were standing in front of Xena’s motorcycle. Looking up at Xena to have the straps of her helmet tightened, Gabrielle noticed a new kind of warmth in her girlfriend’s face. Xena’s deep stare of affection surpassed even the one she’d given the first time she said “I love you”, and Gabrielle found herself lost in her crystal blue eyes.

 _Maybe she really_ was _worried about what would happen if my father tried to keep us apart._

Planting one more tender kiss on Gabrielle’s lips, Xena smiled and teased, “keep looking at me like that and I won’t be able to restrain myself for an entire meal.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Xena rolled her eyes, flashing a megawatt grin, and slung one leg over her motorcycle, extending a hand to help Gabrielle up onto the seat behind her. Gabrielle settled into her spot with her arms wrapped around Xena’s waist and held on tight as the engine roared to life and they sped onto the road.

The wind blew Xena’s hair into Gabrielle’s face, forcing the blonde to turn her head to the side to avoid being whipped by the thick, black locks.

 _I really need to start asking her to put her hair up when we do this_ , she thought absentmindedly, _and she needs to get another helmet. If we get into an accident and I’m wearing hers like this, god knows what would happen to her._

She made a mental note to start looking at some helmets so she could get one that was more her style; Xena’s black one was functional but not very fashionable. As Gabrielle stared absentmindedly at the road around her, she began to feel that the route was eerily familiar.

_Did she completely forget we’re supposed to meet my parents for lunch?_

Perking her head up over Xena’s shoulder to speak directly into her ear, Gabrielle chirped, “uh, Xena?”

“Yes?”

Xena nearly had to shout over the wind rushing past so Gabrielle could hear her through her helmet.

“Aren’t we supposed to be going to that restaurant?”

“We are.”

 _Well, that wasn’t very revealing._ She was about to press Xena further when she felt her shoulders tense, a clear sign that she was about to say something she’d been avoiding.

“The place your mother picked is on the same street as our apartment.”

Gabrielle’s mouth dropped open, accidentally catching some of Xena’s hair, forcing her to paw at her lips to get the dark strands out. She thought hard about what her sister had said, _the only new-looking place on that street with all the old buildings. Xena and I do live on a street with a lot of older buildings._

Forming a quick cognitive map, she tried to pinpoint the location of the place her mother had chosen. _Our apartment is on the upper floor of the third building on the right side of the street… everything to the left of it is just more apartments and a bar- and, of course, the bookstore right beneath. The café is the first spot on the opposite corner and it takes up a lot of space…_

She went down the row of little shops in her mind until a lightbulb went off and she could finally visualize what must have been the place they were headed. _It’s not actually new, they just repainted the outside._

The restaurant was about five shops down from her apartment and on the other side of the street, but it was still too close for comfort.

Shaking her head in disbelief, she could feel the situation slipping more and more out of control. She clung even tighter to Xena’s waist for comfort and was relieved to feel that her girlfriend wasn’t tense. If Xena was relaxed, it meant that she wasn’t worried, and therefore she probably had a plan. _Hopefully it’s a little more complex than pissing off my father on purpose… even though I’m pretty sure she could take him in a fight._

The motorcycle rounded the final corner before the streets morphed from dark grey asphalt to russet cobblestone, a clear indication that they were entering the older part of the city, with their street at the forefront.

As Xena pulled into their usual parking space that was somehow always open, Gabrielle took a deep breath, repeating over and over in her mind _if Xena’s not worried, I shouldn’t be either._ She wasn’t certain she could have complete faith in her thoughts, but it calmed her down and that was enough.

Dismounting the motorcycle, Gabrielle unclipped her helmet and rested it across the handlebars, combing her fingers through her hair a few times to undo what it had done. Xena’s hair was a windblown disaster from the ride, and Gabrielle couldn’t help but laugh as she tried desperately to comb it, swatting at her bangs to keep them from sticking out in strange directions and pulling at the tangles.

Xena fake-scowled at her playfully, “something funny?”

Gabrielle nodded, beaming with affection. “You. Come here.”

The blonde reached her hands out towards Xena, who leaned down so she could reach. She slowly and gently brushed her fingers through Xena’s hair, smoothing the parts that were sticking up and working carefully through the knots so she wouldn’t pull too hard. Xena closed her eyes and made a small humming noise, making Gabrielle grin ear to ear.

_I don’t think she knows she makes that noise sometimes. It’s adorable but I’m afraid that if I tell her I like it, she’ll stop._

Brushing through Xena’s thick locks one more time, Gabrielle braided a strand of it and tucked it behind her ear, making her open one eye. She watched as Xena’s hand reached up to see what she had done. Gabrielle swatted her searching fingers before they could reach the braid, “Leave it,” she demanded playfully, “it’s pretty.”

Xena opened both her eyes now and straightened up, smirking, “like you?”

Gabrielle had her retort ready, but she fell silent as she watched Xena’s expression change from flirtatious to “the look” in mere moments. Her blue eyes were trained someplace just above Gabrielle’s right shoulder, and the blonde turned to follow her line of sight.

Herodotus stalked towards them with Hecuba and Lilla struggling to keep up. Gabrielle felt a flash of panic that only increased when Xena stepped in front of her, taking on a protective stance.

 _Please do not let my father and my girlfriend get into a fight in the street,_ she silently pleaded to the universe, _please let him just be thinking really hard about the Democratic Party._

He glared at Xena while Gabrielle watched anxiously, waiting for him to draw his fist back to hit her. To Gabrielle’s relief, he just grimaced once more and walked away, stomping down the sidewalk to the restaurant. A pleased smirk spread across Xena’s face, and Gabrielle raised an eyebrow in bewilderment.

_Was there some kind of secret conversation I just missed?_

Gabrielle’s mother and sister finally caught up to them, panting a little from following Herodotus. Almost immediately, Hecuba cornered Xena into a conversation again, asking questions rapid-fire about how she managed to balance soccer and school.

As Gabrielle watched Xena, usually so stoic and silent with others, field all the lines of her mother’s inquiry with a polite and almost shy manner, she felt a growing warmth in her chest. Although most of the answers she gave were fairly neutral and minimally revealing, they were always given with a small smile.

Breaking her out of her trance, Lilla bumped into Gabrielle’s shoulder, “hey, big sis,” she grinned, “checking out your beloved from behind?”

Gabrielle shushed her sister and blushed a little, “not in the way you think. I just think it’s funny how charming she is with Mother versus how hostile she is with Father. I don’t think she likes him very much.”

“Yeah, I think the feeling is mutual.”

Even though that was clear to see from all their interactions just within the past hour, Gabrielle’s heart sank to hear her sister say it out loud. Lilla placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “Mother seems to have really taken a shine to her, though.”

A glimmer of hope sparked in Gabrielle’s chest, “really?”

“No doubt. I think she sees Xena as very confident and independent- in a way, I guess she wishes she could be more like her- besides, it’s obvious she makes you happy.”

Linking arms with her sister, Gabrielle considered her words. _Mother’s been living under Father’s rules for such a long time, I suppose it makes sense for her to be intrigued by Xena._

“When did you get to be so insightful?” she teased, nudging against Lilla with her hip.

“Probably around the same time you got to be so gay.”

The quick snipe caught Gabrielle off guard and she was unable to contain her laughter, clapping a hand over her mouth as soon as it escaped her lips. Hecuba and Xena looked back, the former with joyful recognition and the latter with confusion.

“What’s so funny, girls?” Gabrielle’s mother smiled, and the sisters grinned at each other and gave the standard answer: “nothing”.

By the time Gabrielle had composed herself again, they’d reached the restaurant where Herodotus was already waiting, glowering as if he relied on negative energy to fuel his life force.

Xena moved back to Gabrielle’s side possessively and the blonde had to restrain herself from brushing against her like she normally would. One more passive-aggressive glance passed between Xena and Herodotus, then they all moved as a unit into the restaurant.

The interior was bright, with walls painted in pastel colours and sunlight streaming through the windows. A few mason jars sat on each table, and Hecuba led the group to one of the longer ones towards the centre of the dining area. The cheerful ambience nearly made Gabrielle laugh aloud once more as it contrasted so sharply with the tense atmosphere between her father and Xena.

She picked a seat on the long side of the table that faced the window and Xena took her place beside her, but not before making sure to pull out her chair for her and push it in once she’d been seated.

Herodotus scoffed at the gesture and Xena bared her teeth at him in a challenging smile, like she was daring him to say anything about the small display of affection. He glared back at her and Gabrielle took a sharp intake of breath and held it as he sat in the seat across from Xena.

_God, I hope food comes soon so they won’t be playing this two-way intimidation game the whole meal._

After exercise of any kind, Xena was incredibly focused on food and Gabrielle knew her father was usually in a much better mood after he’d eaten- she was counting on those two factors to lessen the tension in the air. A waitress came over to the head of the table and greeted everyone, asking if everyone was doing okay today and if she could get everyone something to drink.

Lilla, seated closest to her, ordered a sweet tea, as did Gabrielle’s parents. Herodotus looked up at Xena as she made eye contact with the waitress to order. “Unsweet tea,” she stated plainly, clearly unaware of the implications of her decision, and Gabrielle winced as her father grumbled something about goddamn yankees.

Gabrielle stared at her menu intently to avoid her father’s burning gaze that was now fixed upon her. She felt as if her drink order was really a test of her loyalty: her Texan roots or her girlfriend from New Jersey.  
  
“Coffee,” she finally said, her voice confident. She wouldn’t give her father the satisfaction of reprimanding her for following Xena’s example or of feeling that he owned her if she followed his- besides, she was starting to get a headache, and based on how the day had gone so far, she needed the energy.

The waitress smiled so cheerily it almost felt mocking, and departed, leaving the group with no distracting external stimulus. Gabrielle’s eyes drifted over to Xena’s beside her instinctively, and she instigated another one of their silent conversations with a small raise of her eyebrows. The corner of Xena’s mouth twitched up in response and Gabrielle felt herself relax as Xena slipped their hands together under the table.

Lilla noticed and she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, making Gabrielle kick her discreetly. A small yelp escaped Lilla’s lips that did not go unnoticed by Herodotus, who looked up and immediately shot a glare in Gabrielle’s direction. She looked down at her lap, not as confident as Xena had been under his gaze.

She felt her girlfriend’s grip tighten on her hand; she was clearly prepared to go into protective mode again if need be. The silence at the table was growing even more uncomfortable the longer it lasted, and Gabrielle knew she had to be the one to break it.

_Maybe if I distract Father, he’ll leave Xena alone._

“Father, did you finish building that gazebo out back?”

He nodded and answered gruffly, “yep. Last week.”

Her strategy appeared to be working as Lilla chimed in, “and he promised that I could pick the colour to paint it! I can’t decide if I should go with white or some kind of dark brown to make it seem, you know, rustic.”

“Plain wood’s as ‘rustic’ as you can get.” Xena commented off-hand, and Gabrielle could have sworn she saw a glimmer of approval in her father’s eyes.

Then the waitress set Xena’s tea down in front of her and the glint disappeared, replaced by the scowl that had dominated his face the whole day.

“I think you should go with white, Lil. If you’re going to paint it, make it a different colour than the wood beneath.”

Hecuba nodded in agreement while Gabrielle felt some of the stress lift off her shoulders. _If I just keep them all talking, I think we can get through this._

Feeling more optimistic, she looked up and smiled at her father. _I’ll just have to be as pleasant as possible._

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around, wondering who could be trying to get her attention. A woman she had never seen before stood behind her with a bright, yet slightly patronizing smile. Gesturing to Gabrielle and Xena, she said, “I just wanted to tell you that you two are really cute together. I’ve seen you around at the park in the mornings and you seem like just the sweetest couple- and I’m so glad to see you’ve got such a supportive family.”

The woman turned her grin to Herodotus and Hecuba with a slight wave, and Gabrielle felt her mouth grow incredibly dry.

“Thank you,” she breathed, staring at Xena’s hand in her lap, not brave enough to look at either one of her parents.

The woman walked away, apparently oblivious to the havoc she had just wreaked at the already-volatile lunch table, and Gabrielle shot a desperate look at Xena. She maintained her composure, but Gabrielle could detect the tiniest hint of panic deep in her wide azure eyes.

_Shit._

Xena could have handled the intimidation game. Unpleasant as he was, Herodotus had nothing on Aaron- or on any of the men she’d fought, for that matter. She would have been fine with skirting around the details of her and Gabrielle’s relationship, but the game had changed now- in fact, it wasn’t a game at all anymore, and she needed a real strategy.

_Everything’s all out in the open now… Gabrielle didn’t deny that we’re together… I don’t want to act until I can get a better read on the situation._

She looked away from Gabrielle, squeezing her hand as she scanned the faces of the other people at the table. Lilla’s eyes were wide with horror, but Xena didn’t focus on them long; she knew that Lilla already knew and was therefore no threat. Refocusing her gaze on Hecuba, Xena had to study a bit more.

_She doesn’t seem angry… just surprised, and perhaps a little apprehensive. No threat._

Herodotus made his feelings more obvious. His face was bright red and the veins at his temples protruded and throbbed. Xena took particular note of the way his fists fidgeted on the table, restless and clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white.

_No surprise there. Now I just have to wait for someone to speak._

“Gabrielle, is this true?” Hecuba stared across the table in disbelief, her mouth hanging open and her eyes clouded with fear.

_That question’s not for me. I can’t be the one to answer it._

Xena’s mind reeled so quickly it seemed calm, all fading into noise as she focused on the blonde’s answer. Gabrielle let go of Xena’s hands then looked down, staring defeatedly into her own lap. A tear rolled down her cheek, making Xena’s heart ache; she wasn’t used to not being able to help. _I wish I could comfort her but right now that would only make matters worse._

“Yes.”

The word slipped out of Gabrielle’s lips so quietly it was almost inaudible, but the impact was like it had been a shout. Out of the corner of her eye, Xena saw Herodotus rise and raise his hand. She sprang at him and caught his wrist before he could get anywhere near Gabrielle, fury scorching her blood.

“Don’t you dare touch her,” she hissed, glaring deep into his eyes.

He glared back defiantly for a moment, then simply simmered in his defeat and Xena let him go. Only moments after he lowered his hand to his side, he raised it again, this time in a fist.

_He really doesn’t understand who he’s dealing with, does he?_

Xena deflected his blow easily, and was considering packing a punch of her own when Gabrielle leapt up and clung urgently to her side.

“Xena, please,” she begged, bitterness and pain evident in her voice, “let’s just get out of here.”

Furious as she was with Herodotus, Xena wasn’t in a place to deny Gabrielle anything, and she abandoned any ideas of hitting back to wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders.

“Of course, love,” she crooned soothingly, “anything you want.”

She shot one last glare at Herodotus, daring him to try something else before leading Gabrielle out of the restaurant and to Argo.

_She’s not in much of a talking mood and I doubt she wants her parents to know she lives across the street._

Xena lifted the softly sobbing blonde onto the motorcycle and put her helmet on for her.

“Come on, Gabrielle,” she whispered, sitting down in front of her and drawing her arms around her waist, “hold on tight.”

Gabrielle’s fingers knit together over Xena’s stomach and she nuzzled her cheek into her back, but just to be safe, Xena held one of her forearms as she drove away. She winced as the cobblestone of the streets rattled the motorcycle; Gabrielle seemed so fragile and Xena wanted to protect her from anything harsh or abrasive after all she must have had to go through being such a free thinker in a household run by Herodotus.

“It’s going to be alright,” she whispered, racking her brain on just how she was going to come through on that promise.

_Gabrielle usually tries to talk to me when we drive like this. If she’s still quiet in five minutes, I’ll check on her._

The drive was eerily silent without Gabrielle’s constant interruptions, and after the allotted amount of time had passed, Xena turned her head slightly and tried to keep her voice as even as possible while still being heard over the wind, “Gabrielle?”

The only response was a faint squeeze around her torso. _I suppose that’s better than nothing._

“Do you want me to stop anywhere for you?”

A shrug. _Looks like I’ll have to decide where we’re going._

She narrowed her eyes as she thought hard about where to take Gabrielle. _Where do you go when you’re afraid of losing your family? I know she told me that I come first but…_

After Xena had already lost so much of her family, she felt that she understood too well what Gabrielle was going through. Her mother and her brother were so dear to her heart, and she couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have them ripped away from her, as well.

_The only thing that could make me leave them would be if they were to hurt Gabrielle._

As the realisation dawned on her, the connection between the blonde and herself seemed to deepen in her heart; nothing came before her family. _Until now, I suppose._

The transition was jarring, yet somehow felt natural at the same time. Holding Gabrielle even tighter, Xena made a silent promise. _You are the best thing in my life. You come before anything and anyone else. Always._

Gabrielle shifted a little, drawing her body closer, almost as if she sensed the change in Xena’s mind.

Making one final turn, Xena stopped at the edge of a dirt path, whose existence was marked only by a small post with a faded sign that read _Warwoman Trail._

Xena dismounted the motorcycle and helped Gabrielle down, responding to her questioning eyebrow with a small smile. Watching Gabrielle hang up her helmet like usual, Xena reached out and was relieved when the blonde eagerly fell into her embrace and allowed her hair to be stroked and her forehead kissed. _She’s not shutting me out. Just quiet._

Keeping her arms around her girlfriend’s shoulders, she began to walk down the trail and was glad to see that Gabrielle didn’t resist. The air was even colder than it had been that morning, and as Gabrielle turned her collar up against the chill, Xena felt even more optimistic about the state of her mind. _And she’s taking care of herself. That’s a good sign._

“Xena, where are we going?”

“Oh, good,” the brunette smiled, “I was beginning to worry there was something wrong with your tongue.”

To illustrate her point, Gabrielle stuck her tongue out at Xena and shyly returned her smile, “it’s fine. But really, where are we headed?”

“You’ll see. Just trust me.”

Gabrielle nodded and Xena rubbed her shoulders, “are you cold?”

“No; your jacket’s really warm… sorry for taking it without asking, by the way.”

“Don’t be. It looks good on you- besides, it lets everyone know that you’re mine.”

The comment elicited another tentative grin from Gabrielle, and Xena felt the tension in her shoulders begin to relax. The conversation stopped as both women looked at the woods around them. The trees were all clothed in beautiful orange, red, and gold leaves, and there was a peacefulness in the air that simply couldn’t be found on campus or in the city. Green ferns and grasses that lined the path were still vibrant with life; they wouldn’t turn tan until the winter that was still several weeks away, but the flowers present during summer were long gone. Leaves crunched underfoot as the path narrowed, then finally ended before a huge field of tall grass.

A scarlet-feathered bird circled lazily overhead and Xena heard Gabrielle’s gentle gasp as she took in the surroundings. She broke away from Xena’s embrace to run out to the centre of the field, brushing her hands across the tops of the blades of grass that came up to her thighs and soaking in the sun that shone brightly without being impeded by the canopy of trees that shaded the path.

Xena smiled as she watched the blonde instantly light up in the beautiful setting she had picked out, and felt confident in her choice.

Her eyes filled with wonder, Gabrielle turned to Xena, “what is this place?”

Meeting her girlfriend in the centre of the field, Xena pointed to the trail.

“That path is called the Warwoman Trail, and it actually continues on the other side of this clearing. My first year at Stratis, the seniors on the soccer team took us up here. The grass was trimmed short then, and there were goals on either side. Apparently, the women’s team didn’t even have use of the fields by your old dorm when the program first got started, so this was where they practiced. Those captains had us run laps around this field for hours, then made us camp out on the grass all night long. It was just how initiation was done- of course, we can’t do it now because of all the hazing that goes on in the bigger sports teams, but I still come up here when I need to get away. It’s a good memory for me. Felt like a fresh start.”

Gabrielle nodded and inhaled deeply as Xena sat down and patted the grass beside her. The blonde joined her on the ground and rested her head on her shoulder, sighing.

_She’s stopped crying since we’ve been out here. This was kind of a long shot, but it seems to have worked._

“Xena?”

“Yes?”

“I meant what I said earlier, you know. About how I would always choose you. I guess I… I just… “

She started to tear up again and Xena held her tighter, waiting patiently for her to decide how to articulate herself. _She always does look for the perfect word._

“I guess part of me just hoped that Father would get to know you a little before he judged you. Maybe even come to like you as my friend before we told him the truth about us.”

Xena thought for a while, trying to come up with a response with some insight.

“I suppose it might be better in the long run for him to know now. If he’d known me as your ‘friend’ for a long time and then discovered the truth, I doubt he’d appreciate being lied to. He’s got more time to adjust to the idea this way. And I’m the same person I would have been if we had kept going on as if we were friends. This way’s more difficult, but more honest.”

Gabrielle looked into Xena’s eyes and she was was struck by how bright the blonde’s emerald irises were after she’d been crying.

“I never wanted to hide you, Xena.”

“I know, love,” Xena whispered, “I know.”

They lay back in the grass and Gabrielle turned onto her side, resting her head on Xena’s shoulder and curling her arm over Xena’s stomach. Xena stroked her girlfriend’s hair softly, weaving her fingers through the strawberry-blonde strands that wreathed her face.

Closing her eyes, she began to relax, especially when she felt Gabrielle’s breathing even out. _She’s not crying anymore._

The position they were lying in sparked half a memory in Xena’s head, an echo of something that once was, of comforting the blonde through another hardship that couldn’t come to mind and certainly hadn’t happened in the little time they’d been together.

 _Perhaps it happened in a dream,_ Xena reasoned, _it wouldn’t have stood out to me as extraordinary so I probably wouldn’t have remembered it._

Satisfied with the explanation, Xena settled down completely into the little bed of grass, sharing her warmth with Gabrielle against the cold air and slipping out of consciousness.

“Xena?” Gabrielle whispered, propping herself up on one elbow and making the grass rustle, “are you asleep?”

Not opening her eyes, Xena grumbled, “yes, but for you, I might make an exception.”

“Might? What if I told you that it’s five-thirty?”

“What!?”

Xena’s eyes flew wide open and she sat up, fumbling around in her pockets for her phone to confirm the time. Sure enough, it was five-thirty, and the sun was a little lower in the sky than it had been when she fell asleep. _If we left at about two-thirty and it took us an hour to get here…_

“I’ve been asleep for two hours?”

Gabrielle laughed as Xena looked around frantically to get her bearings, her face flushed with embarrassment for essentially leaving her girlfriend unattended for so long.

“Shhh,” Gabrielle crooned before winking playfully, “don’t worry, I was protecting you.”

“Yeah, yeah, right.”

Xena stood up on slightly shaky legs and held her hand out to help Gabrielle up, “come on, we’d better get going. I owe you a meal and then some.”

The blonde smiled, a real smile that made the corners of her eyes crinkle, and Xena knew that the little foray into Warwoman had worked perfectly. She took Xena’s hand and stood up, nestling once more into Xena’s arms as they walked away from the field.

The trek back to the motorcycle was much more cheerful than the walk to the field, and Xena beamed with affection as she watched her girlfriend take the time to find the beauty in every little thing around them, things Xena couldn’t have found herself. She pointed out all the details she saw, like the way the sunlight broke through the trees and dappled the path in abstract patterns before them, or the one tiny little forest flower that still retained its bright violet hue amidst all the green- it made Xena absolutely certain that Gabrielle must be a terrific writer.

“You write stories, don’t you, Gabrielle?”

“Yeah?” the blonde answered tentatively.

“What kind of stories?”

Xena watched as her girlfriend thought hard, as if the question were difficult to answer.

“Fiction,” she finally said, “fantasy and realistic. Not so much sci-fi, though.”

Chuckling, Xena grinned, “why’d you act like I just asked you the square root of negative one?”

Swatting Xena’s arm, Gabrielle responded, “first of all, the square root of negative one is i, that’s high school math, and second, it’s not easy for an author to describe their own writing!”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. What was the last thing you wrote? I mean, the main idea.”

“What’s all this sudden interest in my writing?”

Staring at the ground shyly, Xena struggled to find the right way to express herself.

“You just see things that I don’t. Makes me think your writing must be really something.”

Her face lighting up and turning red, Gabrielle smiled, “you notice things, too- it’s just that you analyze situations and I look for details in people and places.”

“We make a pretty good team, don’t we? Now, come on, you still haven’t answered my question.”

Gabrielle bit her lip, squinting up at the sky.

“Oh, come on, tell me,” Xena urged, allowing just a hint of pleading to enter her tone.

Closing her eyes, Gabrielle responded through gritted teeth, “I wrote about you.”

Surprise flooded Xena’s mind and she automatically reacted, “what?”

“I wrote a story about you.”

_Alright, that’s new._

“What kind of story? Fantasy or realistic?”

“Fantasy. But it’s not fiction, exactly… well, not all of it. I just took the story about how we met and changed it a little, exaggerated some of the details.”

Xena found herself grinning like a child, “really? How’d you change it? Did you make the soccer ball a chakram or something?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, electricity crackled in the air between her and Gabrielle.

“What did you just say?” the blonde breathed, and Xena thought instantly back to the dream she had. _Chakram. That was the second weapon I had. A chakram._ A feeling of déja vu hit Xena like a kick to the head, and she felt like she was spinning as images of the round silver-and-gold disc filled her mind, bouncing off walls and mountainsides, weather vanes and hanging signs, and finally back to her hands.

“Chakram,” she said out loud again, and Gabrielle stared at her with glossy eyes.

“What is that?”

Xena exhaled, _she doesn’t know. I suppose she didn’t just feel what I did._

“It’s a weapon. Kind of like an ancient boomerang crossed with a frisbee.”

“Oh.” _She’s not letting anything on._

A wave of disappointment came over Xena; she had hoped that Gabrielle would show some sort of reaction to indicate that she had thought of the same thing, or at least recognised the word.

“Just some Greek Studies major stuff,” Xena murmured, disheartened.

Gabrielle nodded, looking distant, “yeah, I guess.”

They reached the motorcycle and mounted it in almost robotic fashion, neither one speaking on the drive home. _Chakram. Chakram._ The word echoed in Xena’s mind nonstop, generating fuzzy, half-formed images that she couldn’t reason into cohesive ideas. _Memories. They’re like memories from early childhood, faded and barely real…_

As the sun sank further and further into the horizon, Xena found herself feeling strange, like she was two people at once, but the people were similar enough to get mixed up. Pulling into their parking space and turning off the engine, she remained silent, lost in thought.

“Xena?” Gabrielle called softly, “are you okay?”

She shook her head to snap herself out of it and lied. “Yes. The trainer just gave me some medication for the pain earlier and he told me it might cause some drowsiness.”

“Oh, Xena, I didn’t know; you shouldn’t have had to drive-”

“It’s alright,” Xena cut her off, feeling guilty for withholding the truth, “I just need to get some rest soon.” _At least it’s a solid lie. It would explain why I fell asleep in the field, as well._

Gabrielle ushered Xena into the apartment and told her to relax, pushing her onto the couch and ordering her to stay put. Xena obeyed and stayed still as her girlfriend made noise in the kitchen, and reached into her pocket. _The trainer did give me some medication, but I didn’t take any._

Regarding the pill in her hand nervously, Xena made a decision. _Might as well make the lie true._ She popped it into her mouth and swallowed it dry, cringing at the bitter taste it left on her tongue. _Now I’m_ really _going to be drowsy._

Soon there was a steaming bowl of soup in front of her, and she looked up at Gabrielle apologetically.

“I’m sorry for making you take ca-”

“Don’t apologize,” Gabrielle smiled, curling up against Xena with her own bowl of soup, “you took care of me today.”

Nodding slowly, Xena ate her soup, grateful that the taste of the pill no longer lingered.

The effects of the pill set in very quickly, and her mind grew hazy as she felt the bowl being taken from her and lips pressed to her forehead.

Then she was on her feet, and sluggishly getting ready for bed, guided by the hands of her girlfriend towards the bed and under the covers. In her dazed, half-asleep state, she began to murmur, _"there’s a moment when I look at you, and no speech is left in me…"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for your patience; with the end of the school semester fast approaching and soccer season getting started up, it's been tough to get writing in, but fear not, I will see this story through to the end! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments; I love hearing from you guys and hope you like this chapter! Get ready for the central plot next update!
> 
> -Ky


	7. Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I begin to justify the explicit rating for this story, some friends from the east make a visit, and the plot thickens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! As usual, I'm going to start by thanking you for your patience. As a writer, and a writer who likes to take the time to find the perfect word every time, getting something done takes forever, but you've stuck by me and that means a lot. Thank you for your comments, kudos, and continued support. You're the best and I hope you enjoy!

_The wind sliced at the back of Gabrielle’s throat as she panted, trying to keep up with Xena. Snow crunched underfoot and a feeling of lightheadedness engulfed her mind, making her sway with dizziness. The incline of the barely-worn path caused her legs to burn in protest, and try as she might to press on, her muscles betrayed her and she slowed to a halt._

_“Come on, Gabrielle, we’ve got to keep moving.” Xena’s voice broke through the stillness, but did nothing to urge Gabrielle forward; the cold had seeped through her skin and into her bones._

_Daylight was fading fast as the sun sank over the ice-capped mountain peak before her, the north star they’d been following the entire journey up. Gripped by a feeling of hopelessness, she shivered against the cold and turned her head to look behind her, but a pair of gloved hands stopped her and steadied her body._

_“Don’t look back; we’re almost there. We have to make it to the cave before dark, then we can rest for a while. We’ll wait to go after the chakram until dawn.” Xena’s eyes glowed blue as she spoke, filled with such love and pain that Gabrielle could hardly stand it._

_She smiled to ease Xena’s secondhand suffering and nodded, straightening up and taking the hand that was offered to her._

_“When are you just going to give up?”_

_A voice carried over the wind from somewhere up ahead, churlish and furious. Xena’s head snapped up immediately and turned towards the noise, and Gabrielle followed her eyes._

_Aaron stood several meters ahead, cringing disgustedly. He still wore his trademark all-black and exposed his arms, apparently unaffected by the freezing air._

_“You know, across all the centuries it has always been like this._ Always _Xena and I- until you. Every single time you come around and screw it up… but not this time. I know all about your little quest- she told me everything- and I can’t let you stop her. See, she and I made a deal: I stop you, she comes to power, I get what I want- in the next life, at least. Helps to have friends in high places.” He raised a hand and curled up his lips in something between a smirk and a sneer, “I’ll make this quick.”_

_A beam of light erupted from his fingers, and Gabrielle heard herself scream as it hit Xena’s chest and dropped her to her knees. Time seemed to slow down as she ran over to catch the fallen beauty before her head hit the ground. She laid her across her lap, green eyes searching blue in anguish, but the light behind them had already gone out._

_A sickening fury bubbled up in the pit of Gabrielle’s chest and she whipped her head up to hurl something at Aaron- anything, rocks, a fistful of snow, insults, herself- but another beam of light was already hurtling towards her._

Gabrielle jerked awake, her breathing shallow and her skin coated in a layer of cold sweat. Her hands flew out towards where she knew Xena slept beside her, but when they made contact with warm skin, it only served to make her feel more desperate.

“Xena, wake up,” she commanded, dragging herself on top of the muscular frame beside her. Xena’s eyes shot open, twinkling pools of cyan filled with concern, and Gabrielle searched them once more for the light of life. _Alive. She’s alive. We’re alive._

Gabrielle pressed a hand to the brunette’s chest and kissed her feverishly, capturing her lips hard and not letting them go until she could hardly breathe. The rhythmic thud of Xena’s heartbeat beneath her palm went on, sure and strong, filling the blonde with an overwhelming sense of adoration.

Gabrielle found herself clawing at the bottom of her shirt to pull it off over her head while Xena lay still beneath her, brows scrunched in a look of confusion as she discarded the garment off to the side. She opened her mouth as if she were going to speak, but Gabrielle stopped her, crashing their lips together again and working her hands beneath the fabric of Xena’s shirt.

_I can’t wait any longer. I could lose her at any moment. I need her._ As soon as she got Xena’s shirt above her abdomen, she felt rough hands on her wrists.

“Gabrielle, are you-”

Gabrielle kissed her once more, halting the words that threatened to spill out of her mouth before murmuring,“yes.” She didn’t know what the question was, but the answer was yes. The answer would always be yes, across the centuries and long past the end of time. _No questions. Not anymore. I will always love her. I will always want her, above all else._

A new flame seemed to light behind Xena’s eyes and her hands disappeared from Gabrielle’s wrists, digging into the bed on either side of them. A tremendous force pressed against Gabrielle’s body, and she was in the air one moment, and then on her back the next as Xena straddled her hips and finished removing her shirt.

Their positions had switched, and Gabrielle wasn’t entirely sure how, but was in no state to ask as Xena’s lips pressed to her neck and stole her breath away. Gabrielle’s eyes fluttered shut instinctively, an electric pulse shooting through her mind as she was bombarded with images, memories of this very moment centuries ago, beside a crackling campfire in the stillness of night, in the sand of a beach bathed in moonlight, beneath the thatched roof of an inn somewhere outside Corinth. _Corinth._

Opening her eyes again, Gabrielle watched as Xena’s lips moved down towards her chest and her hands slid up, tearing away the last bit of fabric between her fingers and the hardened nipples that begged for her touch.

The moment Xena’s hands made contact with her breasts, a moan escaped Gabrielle’s throat, a sound that bypassed the usual neural pathways of control and opened them up to yet another flash of the past, one of desperate kisses and tender touches to bruised skin soaked with sweat. _“When we get to Thessaly, you still owe me a new pair of boots.”_

Gabrielle gasped. The words echoing in her mind had come from her lips long ago, she knew it; she could remember everything about that day, about how Xena had fallen beside her exhausted and she had traced her lips over every single newly-acquired blemish on her skin, and then when they finally found a bed to sleep in…

“Xena,” Gabrielle whispered, “Xena, please.”

Xena’s mouth had replaced her hands on Gabrielle’s breasts, her tongue alternating between lashing back and forth in an erratic pattern and swirling around gently, adding to the mounting wetness in Gabrielle’s core. Xena looked up for a brief instant, then began to kiss down Gabrielle’s torso, occasionally pausing to drag the tip of her tongue across the burning skin beneath her.

Gabrielle could feel the muscles in her abdomen contracting in time with Xena’s motions, and she shuddered as more echoes of the past invaded her mind, the sounds of Xena promising _I’ll love you forever_ and _I’ll always be with you._

Tears entered the blonde’s eyes as she recalled a terrible loss. Somehow, some way, she had lost Xena in the past, and she needed her to prove that she was here now, and that she wasn’t going anywhere.

“ _Xena,_ ” she moaned desperately, tangling her fingers into thick, dark hair to direct her love to where she needed her the most.

The brunette seemed to understand that there was something different about the pleading tone in her voice and complied, ripping away the rest of Gabrielle’s clothing in one swift motion.

The cold air that hit Gabrielle’s core only served to arouse her more, and she could feel her wetness trickling down onto the bed. Xena ran her hands along the insides of Gabrielle’s thighs, making them flush at the contact, and Gabrielle couldn’t control the breathy whimper that slipped out from her lips.

She watched with hazy, lust-filled vision as Xena gazed hungrily at the nectar dripping from her core. Images of that same look from hundreds of years ago flooded Gabrielle’s mind, but subsided the moment Xena’s hands spread her legs even farther and she ran her teeth over her inner thighs.

Gabrielle snapped back to the present, her eyes widening and a shudder racking her frame. As soon as the tremor reached Xena’s lips, the foreplay ceased. Xena dropped her head between Gabrielle’s legs, tongue teasing, weaving through Gabrielle’s folds in lazy zigzags and just barely skimming over her centre, but never dipping in or making contact with her throbbing clit.

_How can she torture me like this?_

The blonde’s hips squirmed under the pressure of Xena’s hands as she struggled to think of something to do that would make Xena give her the release she craved. She thought back to the distant past, probing the barely-accessible recesses of her mind until she found something that might work.

Summoning enough strength to overcome Xena’s strong grip on her legs, Gabrielle bucked her hips so that Xena’s tongue caught just slightly in her entrance, the minor disparity in depth breaking down all her self control. With a deep rumble in her chest, Xena plunged her tongue into Gabrielle’s core, using the tip to stroke the top of her walls before pulling out and sucking on her clit.

“ _Gods,_ yes, Xena!” Gabrielle cried out, flinging her arms out to grip the bedsheets, “don’t stop!”

Her body vibrated with pleasure under Xena’s touch, quiet, throaty moans escaping her mouth with every thrusting movement Xena made with her tongue, alternating between slow, languid strokes and hard, rapid thrusts, going between clit and core so smoothly that the sensations blended into one.

Gabrielle’s breaths lengthened and grew increasingly laboured as she stared down at the top of Xena’s head, her vision growing fuzzy as her neurons were overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of pleasure.

_Gods, I love you,_ she repeated in her mind over and over again, and as she felt the surge of ultimate sensation coming ever nearer, she wished for nothing more than to see her lover’s face. She reached a trembling hand down towards Xena to brush her bangs aside, and the brunette angled her head so that their eyes met.

The piercing cobalt of Xena’s irises was deeper and more intense than Gabrielle had ever imagined in her wildest dreams, and she watched as Xena opened her mouth just slightly and whispered softly, “ _Gabrielle._ ”

Each syllable of her name vibrated on a different part of her sex and ended with a tongue dipped into her centre. The mounting pleasure in Gabrielle reached its peak and her eyes closed, back arching and body quaking. Waves of ecstasy washed over her as she heard herself cry out Xena’s name, uninhibited and animalistic. She felt everything and nothing all at once, and when her shaking finally stilled, she was keen to the feel of Xena’s tongue slowly lapping up the passion that had poured out of her, cleansing and calming at the same time.

Her mind seemed to have been left somewhere up in the clouds, and she felt her lips stretch into an exhausted, euphoric grin. She reached down to stroke Xena’s hair, capturing her attention. Blue eyes met green once more and Xena crawled her way up Gabrielle’s body, placing tender kisses on her lips.

Gabrielle ran her hands around Xena’s body, tracing her ribs and the muscles on her abdomen. Dragging a finger up Xena’s spine, Gabrielle felt her shiver and then hooked a finger underneath her sports bra. She looked up at Xena to ask permission, kissing her when she nodded.

With some effort, she managed to work Xena’s bra over her head and cast it aside, revealing her full breasts and gently flushed skin. Her eyes flicked down to the scarlike birthmark on Xena’s chest, running her thumb over it and biting her lip. _If it weren’t for this, I might not feel as connected to Xena as I do… I might not be doing this right now._

Xena smiled at her, almost shyly, and remained perched on top of her, barely moving.

_She’s waiting to see how far I want to go… but I guess it couldn’t hurt to tease a little bit._

Gabrielle redirected her focus back to Xena’s face, ignoring what she had just uncovered, and buried her fingers in the back of her hair. She brought their lips together again, softly at first, then increasingly more passionately. Her hands ghosted over Xena’s nipples, and she felt a twinge of satisfaction when she found that they were completely raised, a clear sign that her plan was working.

She began working her palms over Xena’s breasts, massaging rhythmically, and all the while Xena made little more noise than the occasional sharp exhale. _Oh no, she is not going to get away with that. She had me screaming; the_ least _I deserve is a little ruckus._

Thinking back to her dream, she tried to draw up any memories of something that might work. _This whole “past lives” thing’s coming in pretty handy tonight._ She rolled Xena onto her back slowly and reveled in the look she received.

“Starry-eyed” was never a word she would use to describe Xena, who always seemed so calm and collected, or otherwise dark and intense. Even when she looked at Gabrielle with affection, it was always with a warmth and a depth of emotion that made the gaze difficult to return and even more difficult to break free from, but now as she stared up at Gabrielle, all the blonde could see in her eyes was awe.

Xena reached up towards the back of her head, presumably to pull her in for another kiss, but Gabrielle stopped her, instead taking her wrist and stretching it out on the bed above her. She did the same thing with her other hand, and now she had Xena trapped, exposed and immobile beneath her.

A sharp exhale from Xena’s mouth let Gabrielle know that she was enjoying it, but that wasn’t enough. She wanted to do for Xena what she had done for her, to rob her of control, to destroy all her fine motor skills, and then to watch her quake under her touch- just how she was going to do that was the problem.

_I got those memories when Xena touched me earlier. I wonder if…_

She bit her bottom lip and looked into Xena’s eyes once more before stretching downward, keeping Xena’s arms locked above her head to maintain dominance and latching her lips onto one of Xena’s nipples.

Another quick breath escaped Xena’s mouth and another flash entered Gabrielle’s mind, a vision of the same action a hundred times over. Gabrielle had to keep herself from smiling as the memory swept over her, awakening all her muscles and readying them for motions they hadn’t performed in so long but had never forgotten.

She treated each breast equally, sucking and nipping at the tender flesh until she felt it was time to move further down. She released Xena’s hands and began her slow descent, but stopped when she felt them begin to slide down her back. Instinct took over and she gripped Xena’s wrists again, slamming them back over her head.

“Did I say you could touch me?” she growled, surprising herself, but regretting nothing once she heard a low whimper escape from Xena’s throat.

_Oh, so that’s what you like?_

Of course her big, tough girlfriend liked to be roughed up a bit in bed.

_Great. The storyteller has to roughhouse the street fighter into submission._

There was nothing to worry about, though, as her words sent her back, once again, to her first dream. New details emerged, and she was able to visualize two dagger-type weapons strapped to the sides of her boots, short-bladed and light. _Sais._

An entirely new wave of memory swept over her, one of herself and Xena surrounded by huge, armoured men, Xena with her sword and Gabrielle with her sais, landing blow after blow on barbarians that challenged them, running cross-country and defending the weak. The visions took her even further back, to attacking an entire legion of guards on a mountaintop and finally to the lightning-fast twirling of a staff.

A surge of power took over her and she felt her shoulders tense with newfound strength. Keeping her hands clasped tight over Xena’s wrists, Gabrielle leaned down and crashed their lips together hard enough that she was sure she’d left a bruise. A pleased rumble came from Xena’s chest, and Gabrielle pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth before reaching down with one hand and tucking it under Xena’s waistband.

“Lift,” she commanded simply, and Xena complied, raising her hips off the bed so Gabrielle could tear her sweatpants and undergarments off of her.

Running her tongue along Xena’s neck until her lips reached her ear, Gabrielle demanded,”don’t move,” in a voice huskier than she had ever been able to call up before.

Xena nodded weakly as Gabrielle let go of her wrists and settled between her legs, trying to replicate the ravenous gaze Xena had given her earlier. A thought clicked in Gabrielle’s mind, half-instinct and half-originality, as she lifted Xena’s muscular thighs and placed them over her shoulders, leaving the brunette even more incapacitated.

Gabrielle’s heart fluttered a moment in anticipation, and she closed her eyes to collect herself. Xena’s scent was intoxicating, and her dark curls already slick with passion, inviting yet intimidating. After one more deep breath, she leaned down and captured Xena’s folds in her mouth.

The taste was unlike anything she had known in this life, sweet and tangy on her tongue, yet it carried with it the distinct familiarity of lives past. She ran her tongue up and down, learning every contour between Xena’s legs, and as she heard her sigh with pleasure, any anxiety she had had disappeared. She found herself completely enthralled by Xena, the way she rolled her hips and the soft breaths coming from her lips only adding fuel to her fire.

Gabrielle tentatively flicked her tongue over Xena’s clit and felt a wave of immense satisfaction when the brunette moaned deeply. Another idea came to fruition in the blonde’s mind, and she smirked confidently to herself before slowly inserting one finger into Xena’s entrance. The contact would not be enough for her, and she knew it.

“ _Gabrielle,_ ” Xena pleaded with a groan, and her request was granted as Gabrielle slipped another finger in beside the first.

“ _Yes,_ Gabrielle,” Xena breathed, prompting Gabrielle to insert a third finger and slowly stroke the top of Xena’s walls.

A deep groan rose up from Xena’s chest, and Gabrielle repeated the action. _Now we’re getting somewhere._

Xena’s thighs tensed on Gabrielle’s shoulders, forcing her to press harder with her tongue and bringing the brunette closer to the edge. Gabrielle pulled back her upper lip just enough so that her teeth brushed Xena’s clit, earning her another loud moan and a deep shudder.

Before Xena could still her trembling, Gabrielle pulled back and then rammed her digits into Xena’s core. The action had been enough, and with a guttural cry, Xena spilled out over Gabrielle’s fingers and into her mouth. The blonde mimicked what her girlfriend had done earlier, lapping up the fluid that threatened to soak the sheets, and relishing in the results of her labour.

Xena’s breathing evened out, and Gabrielle felt her hands on her shoulders. This time, she allowed them to complete their objective, and she crawled up Xena’s body and rested her head on her chest, exhausted from the exertion.

A dizzying effect had taken over her mind and her eyelids felt heavy. The warmth of Xena’s skin and gentle caresses of her hands relaxed all of Gabrielle’s muscles, the feelings of power she’d had earlier disappearing without a trace, until the slow rise and fall of Xena’s chest lulled her back to sleep.

No dreams came to her, but when she awoke once more, she had a difficult time separating fact from fiction and past from present. Her skin was coated in a thin layer of sweat, and her muscles sore. _What is going on?_

“Xena?” she murmured, disoriented, her eyes fluttering open.

_How did I fall asleep like this?_

She took a moment to gauge her surroundings, running her fingertips over Xena’s forearm and breathing in her smoky scent. She became hyper-aware of the feeling of the sheets brushing against her bare back, and came to the realization that she wasn’t wearing anything at all, and neither was Xena. _Did the heat go out or something?_

“Gabrielle.” Xena’s voice was soft and full of love, much like her gently stroking hand, and it reawakened Gabrielle’s neurons into firing properly. The memories of her recent activities flooded her mind and her eyes went wide.

Pushing her torso up off of Xena’s and inadvertently ramming her palm into her ribs, Gabrielle gasped, slurring, “oh my gosh, Xena! I fell asleep; I’m so sorry!”

“It’s alright,” Xena grunted, gingerly removing Gabrielle’s hand from her chest, “calm down.”

A thousand thoughts raced through Gabrielle’s head, drowning out Xena’s reassuring words and making calming down more and more unrealistic.

_Okay. Okay. It’s fine. I just had a nightmare, that’s all. And dealt with it by waking Xena up. And having sex with her. Twice. Kind of. Does that count as once or twice? Should I ask her? Or would that be weird? And I’m_ still _on top of her! What if I’m too heavy and she’s been slowly suffocating this whole time? Should I get off just in case? And what were all those memories? It was like a campy old movie, but it reminded me of that first dream I had… Dream! Right! I woke Xena up because of a dream… what was it about…?_

Her mind still reeling, Gabrielle grappled with her memories, only able to call up bits and pieces that seemed insignificant compared to whatever detail she was missing. Visions of snow-capped peaks and blinding sunlight filled her memories, but nothing that seemed particularly frightening reared its head. _And that word. Chakram. What is a chakram?_

“Gabrielle?” Xena’s voice housed obvious concern this time, and the blonde did her best to seem composed.

“Xena, I- I… “

As she stared down at Xena’s sapphire eyes, she became more and more in touch with reality, and prepared fully to abandon her wonderings about her nightmare.

“I love you, Xena,” she whispered, planting a gentle kiss on her lips.

She could feel Xena smiling beneath her, and then her heart skipped a beat as she whispered back, “I love you, too.”

Gabrielle made an attempt to roll off of her girlfriend, but Xena held her fast, kissing her again and growling playfully.

“What time is it?” Gabrielle asked, giggling, and Xena looked at her watch.

“Four-thirty.”

Wincing, Gabrielle shut her eyes, “so what time did I wake you up?”

“Around three.”

“Sorry.”

Grinning widely, Xena tucked Gabrielle’s hair behind her ear and chuckled, “don’t worry about it; it was well worth it- but if your libido goes wild at three in the morning every night, we may have to go nocturnal.”

Hoping Xena couldn’t see her blushing, Gabrielle responded sheepishly, “I don’t think it’ll be an issue, I just… I had a bad dream.”

Even though she had hoped to ignore whatever had initially roused her from her slumber, Gabrielle couldn’t lie about what had caused her sudden spark of urgency.

“What was it about?” Xena asked, a sympathetic yet guarded tone to her voice.

“I’m not sure,” Gabrielle shook her head frustratedly, “I can’t remember much, just something about a mountain and a chakram- is that even a real word?”

Xena went silent, which Gabrielle should have been used to by now, but a tense energy crackled in the air with this silence. It made her uneasy, but she knew that trying to urge anything out of Xena would only be counterproductive, and she waited until she spoke again.

“Did you say chakram?”

“Yes?”

A new impatience entered Xena’s voice as she urged, “was Aaron there, in your dream?”

“Now that you mention it, I think so.”

Silence again.

_How would she have known he was there? Unless…_

The rest of the dream fell into place around the patches she had already pieced together, the freezing cold and blistering wind, Aaron’s threats and his devastating actions, and she suddenly found herself clinging to Xena as if her life depended on it.

“Xena, what’s a chakram?”she whispered, her voice quivering slightly.

She could feel Xena’s shoulders tense as she answered, “it’s a throwing weapon that originated in ancient India, but its use likely went as far as eastern Europe… It’s round and silver and gold and… “ she trailed off before speaking up again, apparently pursuing a different line of inquiry. “Gabrielle, did you die at the end of your nightmare?”

“I think, but… only after you did… “

Without warning, Xena’s hand shot out and fumbled around on the nightstand, and in a flash, Gabrielle found herself being lifted off the bed and set on her feet on the floor.

“Xena, what is it? What’s going on?”she asked, panic rising in her chest as she watched her girlfriend stumble frantically around the dark room.

“I don’t know,” the brunette replied, flicking on a lamp. She had already gotten back into her underwear and was now digging around in her dresser and pulling out a random pair of pants and a shirt. “At least, I don’t know _exactly,_ but we have to go.” She had her phone held up to her ear with her shoulder as she struggled to put her clothes on, mumbling impatiently.

Gabrielle watched, wide-eyed, _I’ve never seen her look like this before._ Anxiety built up in her chest and spurred her into action as she got dressed quickly, as well, in almost robotic fashion; it seemed like the right thing to do amidst the havoc Xena was wreaking whilst trying to put on jeans one-handed.

“Professor!” Xena exclaimed suddenly, causing Gabrielle to jump before she realised that Xena was talking on the phone. “I’m sorry; I know it’s early, but it’s important. There’s something strange going on and I need to talk to you- I think it’s got to do with that book I was telling you about last week- you do still have it, don’t you? Excellent. Can I meet you at your office in twenty minutes?”

_She’s on the phone… with her teacher?_

“Thank you, Professor. Alright. Goodbye… Gabrielle, are you ready?”

Xena hung up the phone and was now staring at Gabrielle, her once-calm eyes now wild and shirt collar all disheveled.

“Ready for what, Xena?”

Rolling her eyes as if the answer were obvious, Xena spat, “I told you already; we have to go. Now.”

Gabrielle swallowed hard as she thought about how best to calm down her clearly volatile girlfriend. “Xena,” she said as evenly as possible, “you’re scaring me. Please tell me what’s going on in your head.”

She watched as Xena considered her words, and breathed a sigh of relief when the feral glint left her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Gabrielle,” she sighed, her voice cracking. She dropped her face into her hands and sat down on the bed, her chest heaving like she was trying not to cry.

Gabrielle’s breath caught in her chest as she watched Xena come unraveled in front of her, uncertain of how to react. _If I try to get closer she may just push me away… but I can’t leave her like that._

She crept towards Xena timidly, as if the ground were made of glass, and cupped her jaw in her hands.

“What’s wrong, love?” she crooned as soothingly as she could manage, rubbing her thumbs across her cheekbones, “whatever it is, you just tell me and we can get through this together.”

Xena’s eyes were brimmed with tears, and she gripped onto Gabrielle’s forearm as if it were the only thing anchoring her to the earth. Gabrielle nodded encouragingly, and Xena began, her lower lip trembling as she spoke.

“It started years ago, with a random book of poetry I found in the shop downstairs. There was no price tag, no publisher, no date, and no clear author, but the style of writing reminded me of Sappho. There was this one poem I read over and over, just because I found it beautiful… I didn’t think much more of it until recently- Gabrielle, I _swear_ it’s about you. Every word is perfect, I- I could have written it myself. Then there’s that feeling… “

She paused to look around the room, her eyes darting left and right as if she was afraid of being watched. Her voice took on a slightly lower timbre as she whispered, “do you ever feel like this has happened before? You and I?”

A lump formed in Gabrielle’s throat as she choked back tears, relief washing over her body like a cool rain after a hot day.

“So you feel it, too?” she whispered back, nodding.

Xena smiled weakly, hope glimmering in her irises, “Gabrielle, when I was making love to you, did you see things? Not just me, here and now, but me… a long time ago.”

“Yes,” Gabrielle’s voice broke and tears began to spill out onto her cheeks; if they were being honest with each other, she’d have to share everything she had experienced. “I had a dream about you a while ago… I thought I was going crazy, so I talked with a girl named Yakut. She told me she thought the dream was really a memory-”

“Of you and I together underneath all those stars?”

Gabrielle nodded again, dizzy with the amount of information she’d just acquired, yet still yearning for more. “Xena, did you dream about us and Aaron on a mountaintop tonight?”

She didn’t answer out loud; her wide, fearful eyes said enough, and Gabrielle sat down on the bed beside her, resting her head on her shoulder and staring blankly at the ground.

_This is bigger than I thought. It’s one thing to accept reincarnation as a concept, but it’s another to be this completely… connected to someone. And to what end? Why is any of this happening?_

In the face of the overwhelming revelations she had come to, she could think of no defence but to lace her fingers tightly with Xena’s for comfort. She sat there in silence for a time, unsure of whether her connection with Xena was a gift or a curse; it carried so much weight once it had been confirmed aloud.

Xena regained her composure first and stood up, announcing loudly and seemingly to no one in particular, “we have to talk to my Professor. She’ll know what to do.”

_Who is she trying to convince, me or herself?_

Completely at a loss for any alternative suggestions, Gabrielle felt willing to go along with whatever plan Xena could come up with, and nodded gravely, as if she were agreeing to jump out of a burning building. She stood up to straighten Xena’s shirt collar and smooth her hair down, responding to the quizzical glance she received with a simple, “if we’re going to go ask a Professor ridiculous questions that may land us both in an institution, we’re at least going to look somewhat put-together doing it.”

The corners of Xena’s lips twitched upwards in a faint smile, and Gabrielle returned it nervously. She grabbed her faded yellow sweater and golden scarf, bundling up in them before making sure Xena had her jacket.

Her gaze lingered on the dark leather material of Xena’s outerwear, the similarity between it and the garment she had worn in all of her visions uncanny, and she knew that Xena sensed it too when she took more time than usual to pull on her sleeves.

“Together?” Xena asked softly, extending her hand.

“Together.”

Xena kept her arm tight around Gabrielle’s shoulders as they walked through the halls of the old office building.

The lights on the walls weren’t illuminated like they were in the daytime, making the only source of light the faint moonglow that shone through the windows on each end of the hallway, and the creaking of the floor seemed twice as loud as usual against the deadly silence. Freezing cold drafts seeped in through the walls, making Gabrielle shiver terribly. With every exhale, a small cloud of condensed air wafted up from her lips and towards the ceiling as if the sky itself was stealing her warmth.

_Her cheeks are already red from the ride over here… I hope Professor Ma’s office is warm._

Xena stepped slowly and carefully, matching her footfalls with Gabrielle’s so that the blonde wouldn’t be pushed to walk too fast or be left behind by her regular long strides.

Although she had tried to sound confident about going to her professor, in truth, Xena had simply acted on impulse and out of desperation.

_I don’t know anyplace else to go- or anyone else who would listen. All of this has to mean something. Sharing dreams and visions, ancient undocumented poetry, memories of another time- somehow it’s all got to be connected._

Rounding the final corner to Professor Ma’s hall, Xena whispered down to Gabrielle, “this is it.” She’d been commenting occasionally like that the whole ride up to the offices and while navigating their dark corridors; it seemed to have a relaxing effect on her girlfriend and made her feel just a little more confident that she was making the right decision.

_If I act like everything’s under control, Gabrielle will stay calm, and then I can stay calm until I have a solid plan._

They reached the end of the hall and stood in front of Professor Ma’s door. A faint light seemed to be emanating from within, and Xena knocked quietly with her left hand. When the door didn’t open immediately, she was anxious enough to have broken it down, but by the force of sheer willpower, she waited with outward patience.

_Come on… Come on, come on, open the door._

The doorknob seemed to turn in slow motion as the professor swung the door wide to greet them.

“Xena, Gabrielle,” she said softly and warmly, “I sensed that you would pay me a visit soon- although I admit I did not think it would be so early in the morning. Please, come in, have some tea.”

Xena ushered Gabrielle into the room quickly, setting her down in the large plush chair nearest to the fireplace and pouring some of the hot tea from the small spread on the table into a cup. _First things first- let’s get her warm._

She kneeled down before her and offered her the beverage, rubbing her forearms once she accepted it. “Are you gonna be alright? Not too cold?”

“I’m okay, Xena. I promise.”

The professor’s amused chuckle carried across the room, “you two have always had tunnel-vision when it comes to each other- just as it should be.”

Xena turned her head in confusion to look at her teacher and noticed for the first time that there was another guest in the room: a young Indian woman wearing a beautiful red sari and gold jewelry, with cheekbones set high on her face and eyes deep as time.

“What do you mean, always?” Xena’s question was directed at her professor even though she kept her eyes trained on the unfamiliar woman. _Who is she? And what would she be doing here at five in the morning?_

“Sit, Xena,” Professor Ma waved nonchalantly, handing her a cup of tea, “you make me nervous when you won’t stay still.”

Somewhat begrudgingly, Xena obeyed, sliding into the chair with Gabrielle and resting a reassuring hand on her knee. Fidgeting slightly in her seat, she jutted out her lower jaw and ran her tongue over her top teeth nervously before rallying herself to ask again, “alright, I’ll be still- now what do you mean by ‘always’?”

A mischievous twinkle entered the professor’s eyes, and she smiled widely as she responded, “if you’re here, you must know.”

Looking over at Gabrielle, she felt her teacher’s words ringing true. _Yes. Always. I have always felt this way about her- even in a different time- but I still don’t understand why. And I don’t see how Professor Ma could possibly know about this._

Choosing her words carefully, Xena spoke with a measured tone. “I know that Gabrielle and I have been together for… a long time.”

The professor simply stared at her, her face revealing nothing but mild amusement.

Impatience built up rapidly in Xena’s chest, and she could barely disguise it as she probed her teacher once again, this time much more directly. “How much do you know about me and Gabrielle?”

Professor Ma sighed, shaking her head, “much more than you do, it seems.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Xena saw the Indian woman’s gaze flicker over towards Gabrielle, and she automatically became more alert in case she proved to be a threat. _She looks like she knows something… and she looks at Gabrielle like she’s a target. I know if I ask who she is, I’ll never get any of my real questions answered._

As if on cue, Professor Ma spoke again: “It appears that I never introduced you to my colleague. Xena, Gabrielle, this is Naima- she’s a very old friend- and someone who happens to have quite a bit of expertise in your subject of inquiry.”

Xena nodded at Naima curtly; the riddles Professor Ma seemed to be speaking in were making her head spin, and she wanted nothing more than to get a straight answer. _Well,_ that _raised more questions than it answered. I’ve got a feeling that Naima’s identity is the wrong tree to go barking up, though._

“Professor, please,” Xena said, trying to disguise the exasperation that she felt, “I need to know the truth.”

A gravely serious expression replaced the impish grin that had once occupied the professor’s face, and she sighed in the way a teacher has a tendency to before having to explain a harsh reality to her students, or deliver disappointing news.

“You’ve taken many of my classes,” she began, “so, tell me: historically, what happens when a woman accomplishes something remarkable?”

Xena didn’t have to think twice before answering, “a man close to her takes credit for it or tries to keep it quiet. Historians try to cover it up or attribute it to someone else.”

“Very good,” the professor nodded, “that understanding will make what I must tell you a great deal simpler- the answers you seek must begin with a brief lesson in history. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Xena answered quickly, jumping slightly when she heard Gabrielle’s voice alongside her own.

The eagerness in the blonde’s voice and the intense concentration written across her face made Xena relax a little. _This isn’t all on me. She’s here to carry the burden, too. I’m not alone._

“Excellent,” Professor Ma smiled, “let’s begin.” She reached down beside her in her chair and produced an old, tattered book that Xena quickly identified as the book of Sappho’s poetry.

“Many years ago, in the time leading up to World War Two, there was a momentous discovery made. An archaeologist named Dr. Janice Covington had launched an expedition in Anatolia in search of ancient artifacts left behind by a warrior woman and her companion- a warrior woman who, according to most archaeologists at the time and _all_ archaeologists today- never existed. The scrolls that Covington and her partner, Melinda Pappas, found and translated were written by a young bard, Gabrielle of Potidaea, and they told the story of her life with a great hero: Xena of Amphipolis, the Warrior Princess.”

“ _Warrior Princess._ ”

A light seemed to turn on in Xena’s mind and she could not help but echo Professor Ma, the words escaping her lips in barely a whisper.

A flash of memory sliced through her mind like a knife, the visions of an entire lifetime taking place all at once and crowding her consciousness, threatening to push out the memories of this life and blinding her to her surroundings. Even though her vision had gone black, she could still see everything in her mind in all its gross vividness, remember the look in the eyes of every man and woman that fell at the point of her sword, picture homes and villages burning, hear the terrified shrieks of children crying.

The agony of bones shattering erupted in her legs and her spine, and a splitting headache threatened to render her completely unconscious.

“Xena!” Gabrielle’s voice broke through the chaos, and her hands gripped Xena’s with incredible strength. They became an anchor amidst all the pain as Xena squeezed back, focusing on the sensation until, slowly, her sight became clear again.

The first thing she saw was Gabrielle, her sea-green irises filled with love and with fear, and she was consumed with memories of a completely different nature: Gabrielle skipping along beside her, playing cheerfully on a pan flute and filling her with joy, the two of them teaching a group of young people to dance with infectious grins plastered across their faces, a man with ebony skin thanking them profusely for allowing him to return to land, and, finally, a vision of the two of them holding an infant, with nothing but peace and love and contentment to fill the air.

The corners of Xena’s lips twitched upwards into a smile as she stared at Gabrielle, captivated anew by her beauty and her light. The blonde’s brow was scrunched in confusion, and it occurred to Xena that she probably found it odd for her to be smiling in such seemingly dire circumstances.

“Don’t be alarmed, Gabrielle,” Professor Ma said gently, eliminating the need for Xena to justify her expression, “in the end, the good in Xena has always outweighed the bad- that goes for memories, too.”

The relief that Xena had felt was quickly replaced with trepidation, the violent memories proving very easy to call up and linger on. _There were clearly some happy memories from that time… but why so much pain? Why the suffering?_

Swallowing hard, Xena asked nervously, “who was the Warrior Princess?”

The professor smiled sympathetically before speaking, almost as if she understood her apprehension. “The Xena who bore that title had a dark and damaged past. She was the most feared and hated woman in all of Greece as well as some lands beyond.”

Xena dipped her head in shame, the words cutting her to the core as she felt the weight of the truth bear down upon her shoulders.

“But,” Professor Ma continued more brightly, “she was able to overcome her darkness, and repurpose her incredible abilities for good. She helped countless people who were powerless to help themselves, and never expected or requested any reward. The most insidious evils of the world were destroyed by her hand, and she spread joy and security to those she rescued. In the end, she made the ultimate sacrifice by giving her own life for the souls of others, and earned her redemption.”

Looking over at Gabrielle, Professor Ma continued. “And some say it was Hercules who helped Xena on the right path, but that idea holds little merit. Hercules may have changed her ways, but Gabrielle changed her heart. At a time when Xena had nearly abandoned life altogether, Gabrielle appeared and gave it meaning again. She showed Xena what it meant to truly love and be loved, walked alongside her through many trials and hardships, and served as the guardian of her soul. In time, she became as skilled in combat as the Warrior Princess, and carried on her legacy of fighting for the greater good long after her death. Although she was also a great Amazon queen, legend most often referred to her as the Battling Bard.”

Gabrielle’s eyes glazed over and Xena held her hard; she knew exactly what she must be experiencing, and she would serve as the safe haven for her return once she escaped the onslaught of memories.

She watched her patiently, occasionally calling her name to try to bring her back. After a time, Gabrielle’s pupils dilated, and she looked directly at Xena, tears flowing freely from her eyes.

Xena’s entire body ached with sympathy. “I know,” she whispered reassuringly, pulling Gabrielle close and kissing the top of her head, “I know.”

With a trembling voice, Gabrielle clung to Xena tightly and sobbed, “I can’t lose you again.”

Xena’s heart nearly broke when she heard the desperation in her girlfriend’s voice, and she held her even tighter, whispering, “no, love, never again.”

Rocking Gabrielle gently, she turned her head to Professor Ma and kept asking questions. “What happened to the scrolls about Xena and Gabrielle?”

_It’s odd to call them- us- by those names… But I’m afraid that calling them by their titles will only bring more suffering._

Her voice somber, the professor responded. “Unfortunately, during the Second World War, Dr. Covington and Ms. Pappas were captured and executed once the Nazis invaded Greece. The Xena Scrolls were seen as a threat to established history and burned along with many other ancient and holy writings. Luckily, though, Covington and Pappas kept many journals in which they took meticulous notes on every scroll they found. While not copied word for word, many of the stories remain intact.”

At this point, Professor Ma gestured with the tattered book of poetry before continuing. “This book is a translation by Covington and Pappas. Although most of the poetry is simply that of Sappho, the poem you found, Xena, had two authors: Sappho and the Warrior Princess. It was written for Gabrielle as a gift, which would explain why you were able to recognise it on sight. My research into Covington and Pappas’ work had led me to believe that there may be another site in Greece where-”

“How can you do this, Lao Ma?”

Naima’s voice cut through the professor’s tale with surprising fervor, startling Xena and giving the room a much tenser atmosphere. “I have listened to you talk for too long, and you have told them little more than what they already know. Yes, they may have further insight into their past lives, but that will do little for them now. Why should we continue to lie? How much of the truth can we withhold without damaging their chances of success?”

Xena looked back and forth between Naima and Professor Ma in confusion, and instinctively grabbed onto Gabrielle’s hand.

_What is she talking about? I can accept that Gabrielle and I were together in a past life; that much is clear, but what more is there now? What would Professor have to lie to me about?_

Naima and Professor Ma stared at each other for what seemed like ages before the professor finally sighed, “alright, Naima. Perhaps you are right. Tell them your way.”

The Indian woman rolled up her sleeves, revealing intricate patterns that swirled around her skin and looked very familiar to Xena’s eyes.

“Xena and Gabrielle, you two do understand that your memories come from a past life of your souls, do you not?”

“Yes,” Xena answered steadily, unsure whether or not she liked Naima’s very direct tactic, but too desperate for knowledge to contest it.

“And do you understand who we are?”

_I thought I did, but…_

Xena shook her head before looking over at Gabrielle to find that she was doing the same.

“Then that is where I shall begin. Lao Ma here- or _Professor_ , as you call her- is also a soul reincarnated. Her purpose in this world is, and always has been, to teach- whether it be entire nations or only individuals. The lessons that she carries within her soul are passed on each time she is reborn, and with each life, her wisdom is passed on to you. I, on the other hand, am an Enlightened One. The last time it was necessary for me to appear to you was when you were reincarnated as the Warrior Princess, but that was the result of… extreme circumstances.”

_Extreme circumstances?_

As if she had read Xena’s mind, Gabrielle asked, “so if you’re here, does that mean we’re in ‘extreme circumstances’ now?”

“I am here because there is a threat for which you would be unprepared without my help. The circumstances are indeed extreme. You have been reincarnated into forms more like your ancient Greek counterparts than there have been in thousands of years; even your names have been reused. In turn, the evil you must face is equally powerful.”

“Evil?” Xena cut her off, “now just wait a minute. What makes us responsible for chasing off whatever evil may be out there?”

“It is not that the evil _may be_ out there- she _is_. And you must face her because it is your souls she so desperately desires. It is your destiny.”

Xena’s heart sank as she felt the crushing weight of the word. _Destiny._

She had always believed that she controlled her own fate, that anything was possible if she was willing to put her mind to it or put her body through it, but hearing that she had a predetermined _destiny_ made her feel empty. It was as if she was not a product of her own design at all, but a tool to be dusted off and brought out only when there was something broken in the world that needed fixing.

_Is “your” singular or plural?_ My _destiny or_ our _destiny?_

With a flutter of hope that Gabrielle was not anchored to a preset fate, Xena asked, “what about Gabrielle? Is she bound to this destiny, too?”

“It matters not. She is bound to you.”

“Bound to me?” Xena repeated the words in a daze, lingering on the cusp of comprehension.

“Yes. As Lao Ma said before, Gabrielle is your light and your redemption, just as you are hers. It has always been and always will be. No matter how many lives you experience, she will be by your side. The lines of your fate are forever intertwined.”

Exhaling in amazement, Xena looked over at Gabrielle with complete clarity, “you’re my soulmate.”

With a mixture of joy and fear on her face, the blonde nodded, “we’re gonna be together for eternity.”

Gabrielle felt dizzy.

_Soulmates. It makes sense- if you accept a whole lot of stuff about karma and fate and reincarnation- but I guess at this point it’s as good an explanation as any._

Her mind was reeling with the amount of information that she had acquired in such a short time.

_If everything she’s saying is true, then there’s something that Xena and I are here for; she made it sound like there’s more to our destiny than just being together._

She felt Xena’s grip tense on her hand and she ran her thumb over her knuckles, hoping to calm whatever anxiety had suddenly entered her mind.

“Our destiny,” Xena said nervously, “it’s about fighting an evil- a _she_ \- who is she?”

Naima’s eyes glinted like sunlight off of broken glass as she answered, her voice gravely serious. “Her name is Alti. She was an Amazon once, but turned to darkness. Her power as a shamaness was beyond compare, and has followed her throughout all her incarnations. A lust for control and an affinity for the suffering of others has made her an incredibly vicious opponent for the two of you each time you have met. Once she senses your souls, she will seek you out; she knows that only you possess the power to destroy her.”

“Destroy her?” Xena’s voice cracked as she stared ahead in terror, her blue eyes clouded and hands shaking.

A fierce protectiveness overcame Gabrielle as she pressed against Xena and rubbed her bicep. “How can we destroy her?” she snapped in Xena’s defence, “this isn’t ancient Greece; we can’t just kill people! And what if we’re not ready?”

Naima’s gaze redirected towards Gabrielle, piercing as a hawk. “There is no way to be prepared for one’s destiny. The answers lie within you. Lao Ma and I have simply afforded you with the tools that you will need to understand the gravity of your decision. The book of poetry was planted where I knew that Xena would find it so that she could be prepared for your arrival. Your innate abilities are those of ancient heroes, though you may not have unearthed them in this modern age.”

“I can fight,” Xena spoke up suddenly, a hopeful tone lining her words, “ever since I was young, I’ve been able to fight. Is that what you mean? Is that how we beat Alti?”

A glimmer of hope sparked in Gabrielle’s mind, as well. _I’ve seen her fight. As terrifying as it was, there’s no doubt that she had skill- if she could teach me, maybe we can do this._

“I’m afraid that your physical prowess may not be enough.”

Gabrielle’s optimism disappeared as Naima answered Xena.

“You already have that which is most important for your success: Gabrielle- but there is yet one more tool you must acquire. You must journey east, back to Greece, and retrieve your chakram.”

_Chakram._

The final puzzle piece clicked into place in Gabrielle’s mind. _That dream tonight makes perfect sense now. We were going to get Xena’s chakram._

Terror consumed her completely and made her heart beat out of her chest; _I know how this ends! I know what happens if we go!_

“No!” she screamed, leaping up from her seat, the heat of her anger and fear turning her face red, “if we go after the chakram like you want us to, Xena will die on that mountaintop- and so will I! I can’t lose her again! I won’t!”

Tears streaked down her face as she recalled the emptiness of Xena’s eyes at the end of her dream, the pain of loss sucking at her heart like a black hole. Xena rose and wrapped her arms around Gabrielle’s shoulders, but her strength did little to comfort her. She crooned and whispered soothingly in Gabrielle’s ear, stroking her hair and attempting to wipe away the tears that kept flowing. _I won’t let Xena die. I can’t do this._

“What if we just do nothing?” the defeat in Xena’s voice was evident as she kept asking questions. “What exactly is Alti capable of?”

Gabrielle could feel Naima’s steely gaze on her as she buried her face in Xena’s shoulder, wanting to hide from the prospect of what had been predetermined for their lives.

“Alti is very powerful in this life,” the response came with a tone more grave than any of the other harsh truths the Enlightened One had delivered, “she plans to destroy the world by resurrecting evil itself, in the form of the god Dahak.”

_Dahak._

In a flash, Gabrielle’s skin felt as if it was on fire, and she collapsed into Xena’s arms. She felt like she was boiling from the inside out, the searing pain bubbling up through all of her pores and engulfing her entire being.

_Xena!_

She wasn’t sure if she screamed for her soulmate out loud or only in her mind, but she heard her voice frantically calling her name.

“Gabrielle! Gabrielle!” Xena’s frame came into focus, an expression of sheer panic written on her face.

Sweat dripped from Gabrielle’s brow and her limbs felt weak; she had gone completely limp in Xena’s grasp and was only upright because of her strength. A bleak clarity had taken over her mind as she whispered flatly, “we have to stop Alti.”

Xena nodded listlessly and kept staring at the girl in her arms.

“We had a dream tonight,” Xena said, her voice devoid of emotion, “about being killed on a mountaintop. By Aaron… Aaron- he’s Ares, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

Naima’s unceremonious answer forced a bitter chuckle out of Xena, who mumbled something mostly incoherent about “bacchae”.

_Alti. Ares. Dahak. It just keeps getting better._

“As finite as Naima has made all of this sound,” Lao Ma spoke gently, “she has omitted one crucial detail: the future- and therefore destiny itself- is never set in stone. The dream that you both shared took place in a world that existed _before_ you gained the knowledge that we have given you. I had not planned to allow Naima to speak as freely and bluntly as she has- perhaps death on the mountaintop was your destiny then, but you have the power to change that now. The very nature of the dream has forewarned you of Ares’ involvement, something of which we were not even fully aware.”

“Yes… “

Gabrielle looked up at Xena, waiting for her to say more. She could practically see the wheels turning in her head as her pupils came into focus and she gazed somewhere far off in the distance, her thoughts inaccessible. _I suppose she has a point… we know so much more than we did even an hour ago, it seems impossible for our future to remain unchanged._

“How much time do we have?” Xena’s typical steely resolve had crept its way back into her voice, and it gave Gabrielle the hope she needed to begin to come to terms with the challenge laid out before her.

“That much is uncertain,” Lao Ma said, “but the sooner you set out, the greater your chance of success.”

Xena and Gabrielle exchanged glances and nodded. _We have to leave now._

Gabrielle found her strength again and bore her own weight without Xena’s support, a new determination in her mind.

“Alright,” Xena nodded curtly, “where are we headed?”

Lao Ma’s grin returned; she was clearly happy with the response.

_Hopefully we can keep this attitude up given the circumstances._

“You must climb to the top of Mount Giona in Greece, where you will find a cave in which a shrine to the Warrior Princess and her wife stands. The chakram can only be removed by the souls of these two beings. After you have retrieved it, you must seek out Alti- that is, if she does not find you first.”

Xena shrugged as if that much was obvious, but something didn’t quite make sense to Gabrielle.

“Wait a minute,” she said, holding up one hand, “if Xena was from Amphipolis and Gabrielle from Potidaea, why is their shrine on Mount Giona? I don’t see the connection.”

Her eyes twinkling with excitement, Lao Ma answered eagerly, “you’ve heard of the Valley of the Kings, haven’t you?”

Gabrielle nodded and Xena replied aloud, shrugging, “sure; it’s in Egypt.”

“The reason there were so many artifacts still present and intact is that it held virtually no significance to the Egyptian people. Janice Covington and Melinda Pappas found ancient writings that came from the Amazons while searching for the Xena Scrolls. Apparently, before the last of their tribe was wiped out, they took it upon themselves to hide some of Xena and Gabrielle’s possessions in a location where they would never be found by grave robbers or treasure hunters. It was their medicine woman who placed an enchantment on the chakram that made it accessible only to Xena and Gabrielle’s souls- to you. Mount Giona meant nothing to either of them, or to the Amazon Nation, making it the perfect place to plant their relics.”

Gabrielle nodded slowly, _that sounds reasonable enough._

“Thank you, Professor. Naima.” Xena acknowledged both women with a small bow before looking to Gabrielle, resting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Ready to go?”

Clenching her fists to collect herself, Gabrielle nodded. “Yep.”

She felt Xena’s arms slide their way back around her shoulders, possessive and calming, and she relaxed into her side. _I_ am _ready. We can do this. I think._

She allowed herself to be led back out the door, but just before it closed behind her, she heard Naima call, “don’t forget! Your most valuable weapon against evil is each other!”

The door slammed shut and they were in the dark, cold corridor again.

_It almost feels like the meeting with Lao Ma was a dream; it’s so different out here. She looked out the window. The sun’s still not up yet… but I doubt we’ll be getting any more sleep._

“What time is it?”

“By my guess, almost six.”

Static seemed to lay heavy in the air as Gabrielle grappled with the timeline that had been presented to her. _Greece. We are going to Greece. I’ve never even been to California, and now we have to fast-track a trip to Europe. How long does that even take? The entire Atlantic ocean is between us and Greece!_

The question that had been nagging at Gabrielle’s mind finally came to the surface: “Xena, how are we going to get to Greece from here?”

“I don’t know,” Xena said, astonishingly calmly, ”here, take my phone and see if there are any flights leaving the airport in the next few hours.”

Gabrielle accepted Xena’s mobile and unlocked it, typing as quickly as she could and scrolling through a seemingly endless list of flights departing from the international airport within the next twenty-four hours. _Greece… Greece… Greece. This is getting me nowhere._

“Xena, there’s no flight to Greece in the next four days.”

“Alright, where’s the next closest destination?”

Gabrielle kept scrolling, meticulously analyzing each departure time and destination until she found one that seemed plausible. “There’s a one-way trip to Madrid tonight at eleven.”

“Perfect. How much?”

Looking closer at the flight information, Gabrielle did a double take before stammering, “two _thousand_ dollars! We don’t have that kind of money, Xena; what are we going to do!?”

No response came, and instead a tense, prickly silence filled the air as they turned the final corner before they could exit the building, making the hairs on the back of Gabrielle’s neck stand on end.

Self-control lost out to impatience as she spat, “I swear I can hear the gears turning in your head; will you _please_ clue me in on what you’re thinking?”

Wincing and closing her eyes, Xena angled her head down towards the ground before answering quietly. “I have an idea, but I’ve got a feeling you’re not going to like it.”

Gabrielle felt a twinge of guilt at Xena’s uncharacteristically demure response and nudged her apologetically. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’m just anxious- what are you thinking?”

Xena held the door for her as they exited the office building, then stopped on the steps and continued staring at her shoes, nervously shuffling her feet before responding. “The money that I earned at the fight that you saw last week should be enough to cover the supplies we’ll need to get up the mountain, but it’s not enough for air fare… “

Gabrielle wanted to cut her off; _I already don’t like where this is going,_ but instead held her tongue, waiting for her girlfriend to complete her thought before weighing in.

“Some of the guys from the underground scene have been pestering me about a tournament- well, not exactly that organized- but a competition of the best fighters we’ve got. The winnings’d be enough to get us there and back and _then_ some.”

_Now I_ really _don’t like this._ Gabrielle inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and wincing before speaking with a carefully restrained tone. “So, what you’re saying is that you want my permission to let you put yourself in an incredibly dangerous- and not to mention _illegal_ \- situation that will only make it harder for you to get out of this crowd in the long run.”

“Pretty much.”

Sighing frustratedly, Gabrielle put her hands on her hips and chewed her bottom lip. _She is asking me to make an impossible decision. I can’t let her do this but I can’t afford to_ prevent _her from doing it. Where’s the great Amazon Queen in me when I need her?_

She looked up at Xena, who stood with her hands in her pockets and eyes flickering back and forth at everything around her but Gabrielle.

_The worst part is, I know she can win. She beat that Draco guy handily, and he looked like a professional bodybuilder. But if I let her do this and something happens to her, it’ll be my fault-_ and _we’ll have no way to get to Greece. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if she got hurt…_

Shaking her head, Gabrielle finally spoke up. “When’s this competition?”

“Starts at eight. Shouldn’t take more than two hours.”

“And you can win.”

It was more of a statement that she wanted confirmed than a question, and when Xena said yes, she summoned all her willpower and nodded. “Do it. We haven’t really got a choice.”

Xena smiled sorrowfully before holding out her hand, asking for her phone. Gabrielle handed it to her and crossed her arms as she listened to her girlfriend have the shortest phone call she’d ever heard: “Damon? Xena. I’m in.”

_That’s it? No questions asked? It’s like they don’t even think it’s a big deal!_

Immense guilt sucked at her chest as astonishment filled her mind. _I can’t believe I just did this._ I _did this to her. It is_ my _fault that she has to go out there and put herself in danger. It’s_ my _fault that she’s going to have an even harder time getting out of this crowd. I could have stopped her; she wouldn’t have done it if I had said no… or would she? Was asking me just a courtesy? What would she have done if I had said no? Would she have done something else? If she has connections in the underground…_

She inadvertently shuddered at the thought; she knew that Xena would have gone to any lengths if it meant even having a chance at saving both of their lives.

Taking a step closer, Xena wrapped her arms around Gabrielle, held her tightly and whispered “I’m sorry”, sounding completely helpless, “I just don’t know what else we could do.”

Gabrielle returned the embrace, inhaling deeply to be comforted by Xena’s scent before steeling her nerves and banishing the apprehension from her mind. _She’s going to have a hard enough time going back in there without me making her feel guilty about it. Maybe we both just need a better outlook on the situation. Or something to take our minds off of it._

She pulled away and cracked a teasing grin, “six o’ clock’s your usual breakfast time, isn’t it? Do you want to see what’s open?”

Relief washed over her when Xena smiled back, nodding and offering, “I know a place nearby that’s open twenty-four hours, and they make a good cup of coffee, too.”

“But you hate coffee?”

Xena shrugged, draping her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders and beginning the walk down the steps and to the parking lot before stating nonchalantly, “you don’t.”

_Always the charmer._

The air between them seemed to have cleared, and Gabrielle began to breathe easier. She let Xena help her onto Argo and locked into position, enjoying the feel of the rumbling of the road beneath her when they sped off towards Xena’s destination of choice. _She had better be right about the coffee thing; my adrenaline’s going to run out in about thirty minutes if I don’t get some caffeine._

A comfortable silence lay over the world, broken only by the growling of the motor. _This must be what they mean when they talk about the calm before the storm._

Even as the buildings rushed by, a sensation of stillness lingered in Gabrielle’s mind. She fought against a yawn and closed her eyes, her cheek resting between Xena’s shoulder blades.

“Gabrielle?”

“Huh?”

Her eyes blinked open slowly, the lids protesting consciousness with all their might as she tried to determine where she was.

“Wake up; we’re here.”

“Here?”

She thought for a moment before remembering, the narrow slits of her eyes widening in embarrassment and surprise, “oh, here!”

Leaping up from the motorcycle and nearly falling over, Gabrielle got her bearings with the help of her girlfriend’s steadying hand. Shaking her head to clear it, the blonde rubbed her eyes. “I really need to stop falling asleep at bad times.”

Xena chuckled and kissed the top of her head, “trust me, you’ll be grateful for it when we start travelling. I’ll barely be able to sleep a wink.”

Acting on an impulse, Gabrielle smirked suggestively, “not if I have anything to do with it.”

A satisfied grin worked its way across Xena’s lips, and she held the door open for Gabrielle with her chest slightly puffed up. _Good answer, Gabrielle._

The diner was simply decorated, and had only low lighting to illuminate the cream-coloured walls and tan tile floor. Red leather stools were lined up in front of an old-fashioned counter, and the same material adorned all of the booths against the walls. The kitchen equipment was on the other side of the counter as well as a few staff members, one tending to eggs on the stove, one fiddling with a roll of coins to be put in the register, and one patiently waiting for the cappuccino machine to complete its work.

Two police officers sat in the booth in the far corner, silently shoveling waffles and bacon into their mouths until the waitress brought them two mugs of black coffee. They seemed to perk up almost instantly and could be heard thanking her before she walked over towards Gabrielle and Xena by the door.

“Hey there, stranger,” she said brightly, addressing Xena before looking to Gabrielle with a slightly suggestive glint in her eye, “who’s your friend?”

“Good morning, Minya. This is Gabrielle.”

“Hi, Gabrielle.”

She led them to a booth by the window and set down utensils in front of them, the arrangement of fork, spoon, and knife on a singular napkin reminding Gabrielle of the diner by her home in Texas. As distressful as her home life had been, she found the reminder of where she came from comforting, especially when Minya spoke again and she was able to discern a subtle southern twang, “what can I get you to drink, honey?”

_Honey. I haven’t been called “honey” by a waitress in a while._

The little term of endearment warmed her heart, and she answered with a little extra pep, “cappuccino, please.”

“Got it. Don’t tell me, Xena: water?”

“Of course.” Xena smiled up at the waitress, who turned and walked back behind the counter with a cheery, “be right back”.

Gabrielle looked across the booth at Xena, cocking an eyebrow, “you come here often, huh?”

Grinning sheepishly, Xena nodded, “there aren’t that many places open twenty-four hours that’ll actually _let_ you sit in and study all night. Minya and I got to know each other very well while I was writing my term paper last year.”

Looking over her shoulder at the slightly plump woman as she fiddled with the coffeemaker, Gabrielle mused aloud, “she’s from Mississippi.”

“I don’t know.”

“No, Xena, I’m _telling_ you. She’s from Mississippi. It’s the accent.”

Adoration shone through Xena’s eyes when Gabrielle turned back towards her, making her cheeks flush automatically. “What?” she asked with false incredulity, making Xena chuckle coyly.

“Nothing,” she said, “you just surprise me sometimes.”

Putting up an air of modesty, Gabrielle blushed harder and backed up her earlier declaration, “anybody from the south can tell where anybody else from the south is from based on their accent.”

“You don’t have one,” Xena pointed out as Minya set her water down in front of her.

“That’s different,” Gabrielle retorted, “I put a _lot_ of effort into not picking one up- you understand; you don’t have an accent, Jersey.”

_At least not a_ Jersey _accent- she does talk with sort of an odd inflection, though._

“Alright,” Xena raised her hands in surrender, “I believe you.” She looked somewhere over Gabrielle’s shoulder and grinned impishly, “Minya, where’re you from?”

Minya set Gabrielle’s cappuccino down in front of her and looked up, surprised. “Laurel, Mississippi- why?”

Gabrielle wiggled her eyebrows at Xena and blew on her coffee, _never fails._

“Just curious,” Xena said, her tone completely neutral as she created more small talk: “How’s acting school going? Any good gigs lately?”

With an amiable laugh, Minya bantered, “well, I still work _here_ , don’t I?” She pulled a pen out from its resting place behind her ear and flipped open a notebook in preparation, “and just so my manager doesn’t forget that I do, how about you tell me what you want?”

Gabrielle opened her mouth to tell her that she wasn’t ready, but Xena cut in before her. “I’ll have the same thing as always.”

“Okay,” Minya scribbled a few notes in her notebook before turning to Gabrielle, “how about you?”

In an attempt to disguise her unpreparedness, Gabrielle inquired pleasantly, “what would you recommend?”

Snorting a chuckle, Minya teased, “little thing like you running around with her? I’d carb up; you’ll need the energy.”

Gabrielle blushed and looked down at the table, grateful when Xena spoke up for her. “She’ll have the number three. Wheat toast and bacon.”

Minya wrote in her notebook again and walked back behind the counter, shouting “number three! And Xena’s here!”

Keeping her eyes trained on the table, Gabrielle bit her lower lip. _What’d she mean by that? Can she tell that Xena and I… And if she could, how would she know anything about Xena’s… sexual prowess? Oh my god, were she and Xena together?_

Rough hands slipped over Gabrielle’s on the table and a smooth voice broke the silence. “Gabrielle? What’s wrong?”

She looked up into concerned blue eyes, and couldn’t help the slight break in her voice when she thought about Xena with another woman. “Were you and Minya ever-?”

“No,” Xena cut her off abruptly, “ _god_ , no.”

“Then what did she mean about me ‘needing the energy’?”

Xena was silent for a moment, and Gabrielle studied her face desperately while she waited for an explanation. _She’s not talking. Not talking means she’s about to tell me something I won’t like… I wish she’d just spit it out sometimes._

With a very carefully calculating tone, Xena finally responded. “When I first got to university, I may have been a bit of a hotshot. I was the fresh legs on the soccer team, the talented new prospect, the next big thing. Some of the… other players- and some people not on the team- wanted a piece of me. And I gave it to them. Willingly. Enjoyed the ego boost as much as the act itself. Then, of course, Aaron- _Ares_ \- put a stop to it. Wanted me to himself. Spread rumours, some true, some blatant lies. Broke what I had with someone I really cared about. It’s been a while since I had anything with anyone because of him… But I don’t think the people around here have ever really forgotten the way I used to be.”

Bile rose up in Gabrielle’s throat and she swallowed it down as quickly as she could. _I guess it makes sense that Xena’s been with more people than me. I mean, I knew about Ares already, but I just wasn’t expecting…_

Disobedient tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about who may have been as intimate with Xena as she was, who else may have heard her cries of pleasure. _I wonder if I can even compare to them in bed; before tonight I’d never even…_ She couldn’t suppress the soft sob that escaped her chest, and Xena’s grip tightened on her hands. _She said she’s slept with some of the people on her_ team. _They practice almost every day; if she wanted to cheat on me, it would be so easy._

“Gabrielle, please tell me what’s on your mind.” Xena’s voice was completely pitiful, but Gabrielle couldn’t disguise the bite in her tone as she asked, “who? Who from your team? That’s still there, at least.”

She looked Xena dead in the eyes, trying not to let her tears fall and steeling her nerves for the response.

“Marpesia,” the list began, “Alcinoe. Karina. Melousa. Four or five that graduated… and Tereis.”

_Tereis._ Xena said her name so differently than all the others. It struck a familiar chord in Gabrielle’s mind, and she thought back to all the practices she’d sat in and the one game she’d attended. _Which one’s Tereis?_ Rolling through the roster she was able to recognise in her mind, she reached a conclusion. _When Xena got tackled, Tereis was the one right by her side the whole time… when I couldn’t be._

A lump formed in her throat as she choked out, “did you love her? Tereis?”

Her face unreadable, Xena answered quickly, “I don’t know. Gabrielle, I was so lost; there’s no way to tell… but if I could have loved anyone back then… it would have been her.”

The truth hit Gabrielle like a freight train and she felt sick to her stomach. Her head spun with mixed emotions and her heart shifted uncomfortably in her chest. _It’s not even that I don’t trust her- or that I doubt that she loves me- it’s just so… so_ wrong _for her to be with anyone else but me. I’m… jealous- no, something more than that… Something just doesn’t sit right._

Shaking her head and wiping her eyes, Gabrielle stood up and pulled away from Xena’s hands. “I have to go.”

She swore that she could hear Xena’s heart breaking in front of her as a crestfallen look came over her face. _I don’t want to hurt her, but…_

“Please, Gabrielle, talk to me.”

Staring at the ground, she shook her head no, “not this time, Xena.”

Xena’s eyes looked up at her pleadingly, “where will you go?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you’re coming back, right?”

Gabrielle shrugged, “don’t know if I have a choice,” and smiled half-heartedly at the woman across from her.

Xena nodded, apparently accepting of the response, and sat back in her chair, staring at her own thumbs on the table.

_Here goes._ Gabrielle turned around and walked away, resisting the urge to look back over her shoulder. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. _She’s watching me. I have to keep moving._ Making every attempt not to quicken her pace, she opened the door and slipped out of the diner, stiffening when the cool air rushed through her clothing and under her skin.

The sun was just beginning to rise, its orange and pink tendrils crawling up over the horizon.

_It’s gonna be okay. I just have to figure this out for myself before Xena and I have to leave tonight. No matter what happens, I can’t let her go by herself. She’ll need me to accomplish this… whatever this thing is that we’re expected to accomplish. I’ll be back,_ she assured herself, _just not before I’m ready to be._

She took a deep breath and started walking, following the sidewalk towards the rising sun.

_If I go this way, that means I’m going east… I think we’re still pretty near campus; the drive over wasn’t very long. Maybe if I head that way, I’ll run into Yakut- I wish I’d gotten her number- at least I’ll know my way around west campus; that’s where half the English department is._

Racking her brain on what else she might find in the direction of her journey, she reached a solution. _The school’s art museum is over on west campus! They don’t open till eight so I can even take my time getting over there. Maybe a little inspiration, peace, and quiet will help._

Her heart feeling marginally lighter, she shoved her hands into her pockets and tried to clear her head, following the rays of the sun as her guide. The sky gradually brightened and the air warmed up to a more comfortable, but still chilly, temperature as she walked alongside the road.

There were only a few other people milling around outside campus, but once she re-entered college grounds, there was much more foot traffic. Students trudged their way across campus towards early-morning classes, their eyes glazed over and complete with dark circles, clinging to cups of coffee as if their lives depended on it.

_I wonder if I look that rough- I doubt if any of them got less sleep than I did._ Suddenly self-conscious, she ran her fingers through her hair a few times, grimacing as she pulled at her tangles. _I guess it’ll just have to wait until I get my hands on a hairbrush… or, better yet, get under a shower._

She had to stretch her legs to climb the steep, stone steps that led to the art museum, and was relieved to find that the door was unlocked when she reached the top. The museum was silent, and conspicuously empty, except for a student manning the front desk, half-asleep. His unkempt, rumpled clothing and dark sunglasses made it obvious what he’d been up to the night before.

_I should probably leave him alone. Really, I’m shocked he’s here this early, based on the look of him._

Quietly grabbing a pamphlet and tiptoeing past him, Gabrielle entered the first floor of the gallery. _This must be where they put the modern art._

Strange, abstract, and colourful pieces covered the walls, and plasticky, almost cartoon sculptures formed a forest of squiggles rising up from the floor. Somehow the vibrancy of the atmosphere made for a more cheerful outlook on things, and Gabrielle found herself getting lost in the sea of colours around her. _If I understand modern art, does that make me a genius or an idiot?_

The next room was structured the same way, but much more industrial sculptures littered the floor, metallic, rusty, and dull in hue. It didn’t do as much for her, although she suspected that Xena might like it.  
  
_Xena._ If the first room of art had taken her mind off of Xena, the second put it right back. _Would Xena even go to an art museum at all? Or would she just suggest we go someplace else, like a… I don’t know, a sports bar._

Shaking her head and feeling considerably more dour, she climbed the spiral flight of stairs to the second floor. The pieces in the first room were in stark contrast to those on the lower floor, and she flipped open her pamphlet in search of an explanation. _These weren’t done by students. They’re from visiting collections._

The massive room was split up into smaller sections by walls, and she weaved through the maze slowly, taking time to study each painting and statue. The works on display were much more realistic, clearly of a flower garden or a woman, or of a ship battling crashing waves or a majestic castle. At the end of the room, there was a wall with only one painting: a woman with strawberry blonde hair in ringlets around her shoulders, lounging in a white gown by the sea, a dove resting on her outstretched forefinger.

_Why is this painting all by itself?_

Gabrielle studied it, looking for a card with information on the painter, but to no avail.

“Not bad, huh?”

Gabrielle jumped as a voice came from just behind her. She whirled around to identify the speaker, but a stranger stood across from her with her hands raised in apology. Her curly, eighties-style, bottle-blonde hair framed her perfectly made-up face, and a flowy pink dress draped over her slender figure. _Is she for real?_

“Sorry, sweetheart,” she apologized, “didn’t mean to startle you!”

_Didn’t mean to startle me? What’d she expect, looking over my shoulder like that?_

Unable to hide the skepticism on her face, Gabrielle raised an eyebrow, “who are you?”

The strange woman stuck out her hand enthusiastically, “finally, I thought you’d never ask! I’m A-... I’m Di.”

“Gabrielle.” She shook Di’s hand tentatively, still thrown off by her astonishingly sunny demeanor.

“Well, _duh,_ ” Di rolled her eyes as if Gabrielle’s identity was the most obvious thing in the world before quickly changing the subject, “what do you think of this painting?”

“What do I think of it?”

“Yeah!”

_Hold on, how did she know who I am?_ She opened her mouth to question Di, but the childlike excitement on her face stopped her. _Maybe she’s just weird. I can handle weird._

“It’s pretty,” she shrugged, smiling politely.

“You really think so? Why?”

“Uh… “ Gabrielle stuttered before staring at the painting again, trying to use her analytical mind to sift through all the colours and brushstrokes for some deeper meaning, but finding none. “I don’t know. The colours are pretty. They blend well together. And she seems calm. Content.”

“Uh-huh?” Di prompted her further, forcing her to think of something else to say.

This time the words came more easily, “The strokes are pleasant. The way the curves on the waves match her curves, and then the curves of the dove’s wings. There aren’t any straight lines; it makes the whole thing flow really smoothly.”

A strange wave of comfort came over Gabrielle; she felt safe talking to this woman, stranger though she may have been. “The blue in the ocean… “ her voice cracked and grew soft, “it’s like the blue in Xena’s eyes- but not nearly as beautiful… “

“Oh, sweetie,” Di’s forehead wrinkled into an expression of sympathy and she put an arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders, “what’s wrong? Tell me all about it.”

She led Gabrielle over to a bench she hadn’t noticed before and sat down with her, like a friend at a slumber party that had just appeared out of thin air. Unable to prevent her tears from spilling out of her eyes, Gabrielle broke down, choking out between sniffles, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”

Consoling tsks left Di’s mouth as she rubbed Gabrielle’s shoulders, “what is it, honey?”

_Am I really about to spill my guts out to a stranger?_ She looked up into Di’s deeply caring, innocent eyes and she decided that she was going to do just that. “My girlfriend,” she began with a sob, “Xena… She’s had kind of a rough life- I know I shouldn’t expect too much from her past, but for some reason I just never thought-”

“Hold on, there, pumpkin,” Di interrupted, “how about you start from the beginning instead of the end? I love a good love story.” With an extra twinkle in her eye, she added, “and I’ve got all the time in the world.”

_I trust her. I don’t know why, but I think maybe she can help._

Gabrielle smiled weakly and wiped her eyes, taking a shaky breath before checking one more time. “Are you sure? It gets a little crazy.”

Di shrugged cheerily, “that’s love.”

Nodding in agreement and to gather her thoughts, Gabrielle started over. “Well, I first met Xena a few weeks ago…”

She talked for over an hour, regaling Di with the tales of how Xena rescued her with flying sports equipment, been by her side whenever she needed her, and spent hours sitting in a café with her even though she hates coffee. Finally, she told the story of the night before, sparing no detail of exactly how Xena had made love to her, their discovery of their fate as soulmates, and the realization that perhaps she wasn’t the only person Xena had ever loved. When she finished her narrative, Di was quick to respond.

“Don’t you see it, Gabrielle? It’s so obvious!”

Drained of emotion and completely exhausted, Gabrielle was mystified by the energetic, enthusiastic response. “What?”

Tucking her legs up on the bench so that she was seated facing Gabrielle, Di explained. “So, you and Xena are, like, soulmates, right?”

“Yeah?”

“So that means that the two of you are meant to be together. If you find out that she’s been with other people besides you, that’s bound to wreak some kind of cosmic emotional havoc on both of you- it’s, like, _literally_ so wrong! Did she ever actually tell you that she loved this Tereis chick?”

“Well, no…” Gabrielle bit her bottom lip, “but she said that if she could have, then she would have.”

“Got it,” Di gestured wildly as she spoke, “get this: she was with Tereis and she _could have_ loved her. She cared about her, but _couldn’t have_ loved her. All of Xena’s love was just hanging out, waiting for you. If anything, she probably feels terrible about not being able to find you sooner and making some mistakes while she was looking!”

_She’s not quite as articulate as Yakut… but I think she’s right._ She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. _One last thing…_

“Do you think Xena would still love me if we weren’t fated to be together?”

Di smirked mischievously, “honey, you and Xena have got some strong wills all your own- and the most powerful love I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot- fate couldn’t keep you apart if it that was the way it was meant to be.”

Gabrielle nodded, her tears now dry. _Of course Xena loves me. She’s not destiny’s pawn. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past; what matters is that we’re together now._

She looked up to thank Di, but she was already trotting away out of the gallery. Di looked over her shoulder as if she could feel Gabrielle’s eyes on her and called, “go get your warrior babe, sweetie! My work here is done- but check out the third floor first; I think there’s something you’ll want to see!”

Gabrielle waved, bewildered. _She’s weird, but kind of wonderful._

In an instant, Di was gone, and Gabrielle was left by herself in the gallery again. She shuffled her feet awkwardly, then collected herself. _I guess I should go check out the third floor._

Walking up the steps to the third level, she opened her pamphlet again. _“Gallery Floor Three: Student Work in Impressionism, Fauvism, Realism, and Abstract”. Okay… that’s a little strange._

When she reached the third floor, she looked around the room. It was much smaller than the two levels below it, and showcased much less art. _Seems like the classic styles aren’t as popular amongst the art students as the modern stuff- I wonder what Di wanted me to see…_

She paced around the circular room, gazing intently at each painting in search of one that stood out to her. Most of them were of random objects, bowls of fruit, trees, a park, and even a few people, but there were some abstract works on display that blended colours into beautiful swirls that danced across the canvas, as well.

A smile crept across Gabrielle’s face. _Maybe this is what she was talking about; I_ did _tell her how much I liked the curves in the painting downstairs._ Her hands behind her back, she strolled leisurely along the wall until she’d almost come full circle. _This was nice of her. If she hadn’t told me to come up here, I might have missed out on the-_

The moment she caught a glimpse of the final painting, her heart stopped and she halted in her tracks. Taking a step closer in disbelief, she stared even harder at the artwork: A blonde woman sat at a dark wooden table, her hands wrapped gingerly around a white mug as she gazed out the window. Draped around her shoulders was a dark brown leather jacket, and the end of her nose and the apples of her cheeks were blushed just the slightest shade of red. Steam rose up from the mug to frame her face, which was set in an expression of such contentment and wonder that it led the viewer to believe that she’d turn to smile at them at any second now. Light shone in through the window, giving her an ethereal air and setting off all the shades of green and blue that combined to make her eyes a brilliant sea-foam hue. The background was filled in with fuzzy images of other patrons of the café, the brushstrokes spent on them not nearly as careful or precise, nor were those that made up the stack-stone walls or the oaken furniture.

Gabrielle felt tears spring forth from her eyes as she searched desperately for the plaque with the artist’s name. _I remember that day. I dragged Xena to the café with me because I wanted coffee. She told me I’d need a jacket and I didn’t listen; I said the walk across the street without one wouldn’t hurt. Of course, as soon as we stepped outside, I knew I was wrong, but I wasn’t about to admit it- I didn’t even make it all the way through my first shiver before she took off her jacket and gave it to me- she knew I’d be too proud to turn back and get my sweater. The whole time we were sitting inside I thought she was studying, but…_  
  
Her eyes fell upon the little card on the wall that listed the information about the painting.

_Realism “There’s A Moment When I Look At You” Anonymous_

Gabrielle sighed, _Anonymous. Go figure. She’d think it would be selfish of her to claim something like this._

As she admired the work again, trying to commit to memory just how she appeared in her soulmate’s eyes, she noticed a glint of gold in the bottom right corner of the painting. Two barely-noticeable lines had been painted there in the most unassuming fashion, but it only took one glance for Gabrielle to discern their meaning. She broke into a wide grin.

To anyone else, the lines may have appeared to be the accident of a careless and scatterbrained artist, but she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the two lines formed an _X_.

Xena’s stomach growled as she geared up to take yet another penalty kick. Staring intently at the soccer ball on the line, she took three careful steps back at just the right angle and bent her right leg. She took a moment to feel for the wind, which blew softly towards the west, and closed her eyes to feel the grip between the grass and her cleats. _Top left corner._

In a flash, she opened her eyes, still staring at the ball, took a stutter step, then two strides forward. Her right leg flew behind her, her ankle locked hard, and then came forward. At the last possible second, she took a glance up at her target, and then her laces made contact with the ball.

It flew through the air at high speed, now a potent projectile, and ripped the back of the net. As her right foot hit the ground, she felt an immense wave of satisfaction, but once her left followed suit, contentment was shouldered aside by guilt.

Her head pounded and she put her hands on her knees in misery. _It’s been nearly four hours and nothing. She’s still gone._

Xena looked up at the mess on the field in front of her. Sixty-four soccer balls littered the goal and the sidelines; she’d gotten into coach’s office and pulled out the bag their team used at practice so they wouldn’t have to spend as much time in search of a replacement, but now the disaster of cleanup loomed in front of her. How many times have I told the team not to pull all of them out at once?

Another pang of guilt wracked her body the moment she thought of her team.

_Marpesia, Alcinoe, Karina, Melousa, Tereis._ The names of the teammates she’d been involved with and still saw on a daily basis tortured her, repeating over and over in her mind, taunting her with her own mistakes. _It was a mistake. Why couldn’t I have said something? Why didn’t I tell Gabrielle it was just a mistake?_

Angry tears welled up in her eyes, but she wiped them away as quickly as they came. _Why didn’t I go after her? What if she hasn’t come back because she wants me to search for her?_

Her stomach growled again. After Gabrielle left, she hadn’t been able to force herself to eat or drink anything, and now that she’d been out on the field for so long, a bass drum in her mind was crying out for water.

She brushed aside her body’s requests for care and focused on her new task. _I have to find her._

Dragging her sluggish muscles across the field, she painstakingly went about the task of collecting every single soccer ball scattered across a quarter of the field and placing them back in the bag. _I usually make the freshmen do this._

Calloused hands pulled the drawstring bag shut and Xena slung it over one shoulder, beginning the trek down to the locker room. The empty stadium seemed to empathize with her as her cleats made small echoing _clacks_ down the concrete steps. Her footsteps broke through the hollow silence as she navigated the winding halls until she reached her coach’s office. Reaching into her sock and pulling out the key, she unlocked first the office door, then the closet door, and set the bag back down on the floor where it belonged.

_Now to get my soulmate back._

With an exhale of determination, she turned on her heel and took a step forward- directly into a short, blonde woman. Startled, she reached out to push away the unexpected obstacle before she could think about who it might be.

_Gabrielle?_

Now completely alert, she tightened her hands on the woman’s shoulders and stared desperately into her eyes, searching for familiar green but instead finding midnight blue. The woman was taller than Gabrielle, with much curlier, much bigger hair.

_She’s so…_ pink…

She stared up at Xena with an expression of embarrassment and eagerness, and in a voice entirely unlike Gabrielle’s she blurted out, “well, hello there.”

Speechless, Xena stared back in an attempt to discern her identity. _I don’t know her, but…_

Upon realising that she still had a death grip on the woman’s shoulders, Xena let go and mumbled sheepishly, with a hint of disappointment, “I’m sorry- I thought you were somebody else.” Shaking her head, she tried to brush past the stranger but instead felt a surprisingly strong hand on her arm.

“Somebody else must be pretty lucky to have you looking at them like that.”

Slightly irritated, Xena was about to curtly inform the stranger that she was taken- _very_ taken- and move on, but the teasing smile on her face let her know that she meant no threat.

“ _I’m_ the lucky one.” The words slipped out of her mouth without so much as a second thought, and she recoiled at her own confession.

_What on earth was_ that?

She was never one to get too sappy, especially with a complete stranger, whose face lit up with delight.

“Oh yeah?” she said excitedly, “why don’t you tell me about her?”

Looking the woman up and down with apprehension, Xena considered her request. _I don’t know who this woman is… or what she’s doing down here…_

As if she’d read Xena’s mind, the woman stuck out her hand. “My name’s Di, by the way.”

Regarding the outstretched hand with similar scrutiny, Xena took it tentatively then gave it a firm shake, responding dryly, “Xena.”

“I _know_ ,” Di sighed exasperatedly, causing Xena to narrow her eyes in suspicion. “I mean,” the blonde continued quickly, raising her hands in defence, “from soccer. I’ve seen you- sports!” She ended her little production with a half-hearted fist pump and cheer, and Xena couldn’t hold back her snort of amusement.

_She’s strange- and perhaps a little irritating- but I like her._

After reaching that conclusion, Xena felt much more willing to be open with Di, against her own nature or understanding. “My somebody else-” she began, wishing she could replace it with _my soulmate_ in casual conversation, “her name’s Gabrielle.”

“Xena and Gabrielle,” Di echoed, looking off somewhere above her head thoughtfully before smiling, “that just _sounds_ right, doesn’t it?”

Xena’s typically guarded demeanor fell away a bit as she rubbed the back of her neck and stared at the ground, grinning and agreeing quietly. “Yes, it does.”

She prepared to say more but hesitated. _This is a total stranger. Just because she seems nice and you like her on a first impression doesn’t mean she’s trustworthy._

Hardening her expression, Xena looked up to say a hasty goodbye, but the woman’s expression stopped her. Her forehead was all wrinkled with concern, her face nearly in a pout as she crooned, “what happened, sweetie?”

Xena raised an eyebrow, trying not to give too much away. “You can tell something happened?” _Damn._

Di reached a hand out and gently brushed Xena’s shoulder, “I can _always_ tell when something’s happened.”

Xena’s stony expression fell away, revealing the raw emotion underneath as her eyes brimmed with tears and she nodded, “I made a mistake and I don’t know if she can forgive me.”

“What kind of mistake, hon?”

Coach’s rolling chair suddenly appeared behind Xena and Di motioned for her to sit down. She complied and rested her elbows on her knees, blinking away the tears that threatened to take away her dignity and trying to return herself to equilibrium. _I don’t want to talk. I just want to find Gabrielle._

“Did you cheat on her?”

“What?”

“Gabrielle. Did you cheat on her?”

Anger and outrage bubbled up from Xena’s chest as she hissed, “ _never_ ,” a flash of red behind her eyes. _At least, not in the time we’ve been together._

“Okay,” Di sighed, “so what’d you do?”

Xena wanted to hold back, but something told her not to. Sighing, she admitted her transgression: “I slept with other people.”

Di’s face scrunched in confusion, “uh, I hate to break it to you, babe, but that’s called cheating.”

“Not while we were together!” Xena clarified, making a swatting motion with one hand. She caught the past tense in her sentence and a pang of emptiness in her heart. _Were? Are? I can’t be sure._

“So, like, what’s the sitch?”

Sighing, frustratedly this time, Xena sat back in her chair. _I don’t have to tell her. She doesn’t know_ anything _about me and Gabrielle- and she doesn’t have to!_

“Come on, Xena,” Di rolled her eyes, “I swear, it’s like pulling teeth with you! Just out with it and then I’ll let you go.”

_“Let me go”?_ In Xena’s mind, Di didn’t look like the kind of person who could prevent her from doing anything, but the way she had her arms crossed and eyebrows raised like a scolding mother made her feel like a disobedient child who wouldn’t tell the truth about the broken window. After tapping her feet and glancing around the room a few times to avoid the blonde’s gaze, Xena finally spoke.

“Gabrielle and I… we’re… _soulmates._ And before I met her, before I even had any clue I was going to meet her, I made some mistakes. Slept around. Sometimes with people I still see every day now.”

Di nodded her head, no judgement showing on her face. _Maybe I_ can _trust her._

Letting her walls come down just a bit more, Xena continued, “When Gabrielle found out, she was upset- and she wouldn’t tell me why, wouldn’t tell me what part was upsetting her. She told me she needed to go so she could- I don’t know, gather her thoughts or something- but that was hours ago. I haven’t heard from her since.”

Nodding again, Di pressed gently, “okay. You told me how Gabrielle feels about all this, but how about you? How do _you_ feel?”

“How do I feel?” Xena echoed softly. The sea of emotions churned inside of her, and she was immediately overwhelmed by the torrent.

“Try one thing at a time,” Di suggested gently, “what’s the first feeling that comes to mind?”

“Guilt.” That was an easy answer.

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“Because I betrayed her. And because I betrayed myself, my own heart, by acting the way I did. I want her to know that it didn’t mean anything- it means _less_ than nothing compared to what I have with her now. I’d given my body to others before, but never my heart. She’s the only one who’s ever had my heart…”

She choked up as she spoke, and Di offered her a tissue.

“And Tereis,” she continued, swallowing hard, “Tereis loved me, and I may have loved her, but it wasn’t the kind of love Gabrielle and I have. Tereis cared about me as a person, as a friend, with the empathy that anyone would care for another member of the human race that they saw was lost, but there was never the same passion, the same lovesickness between us. She was more my caretaker than my lover. Perhaps I owe her my love, but…”

“But you can’t give it to her because it belongs to Gabrielle.”

Xena nodded, sniffling and wiping a few stray tears from her eyes.

“Sweetheart,” Di crooned, misty-eyed herself, “why didn’t you tell her that? I mean, I know you try to be all, like, tall, dark, and mysterious, but you need to learn when to let that go sometimes. You _have_ to let that go with her.”

_I have to tell her._ Xena nodded, her chest feeling less heavy now that she’d said all that was weighing down her heart.

“Go on!” Di urged excitedly, ushering Xena out the door, go find your girl and tell her everything you just told me!”

Motivated by a new sense of purpose, Xena stood up and jogged out of the room, murmuring a thank you so as not to break her focus. Her cleats clattered on the corridor floor and she could just barely make out Di’s voice behind her, shouting, “but before you do that, you should probably take a shower!”

_Shower._

For the first time since she got to the stadium, Xena was self-aware.

_Right,_ she thought, crinkling her nose at her own sweaty odor, _shower first._

Ten minutes and one cold shower later, she finally emerged from the maze of hallways below the stadium, her hair still dripping wet and her heart fluttering with anxiety. The sun seemed unnaturally bright after spending so long underground, and Xena shielded her eyes from its rays to little success. The atmosphere was deceptively cheery; the air still held a fierce bite to it that just seeped through Xena’s leather jacket and grey t-shirt.

_Find Gabrielle. Tell her how you feel._ She ran over the two objectives in her head over and over again, her hands shoved in her pockets as she strode purposefully across the field. _Should be easy enough._

Her heart warred silently against itself, part of it desperate to share her truth and the other terrified of being hurt. _That’s ridiculous,_ she reasoned with herself, _Gabrielle’s my soulmate; she’ll understand… She_ has _to understand._

Looking down at her feet to anchor herself to the earth, she pressed on. _I just have to tell her what Di said. My heart has always belonged-_

The moment she crossed the half-field line, a soccer ball rolled up to her feet, breaking her train of thought. _Did I forget one?_

Her brow scrunching in confusion, she looked up, squinting through the sunlight in the direction from which the ball had come.

Walking slowly across the field, her hair glistening in the light, was Gabrielle. Even from such a great distance, Xena could tell that her expression housed a certain tentativeness to it, almost as though she was uncertain about whether or not she was allowed to be down on the pitch.

Her breath catching in her lungs, she moved towards the blonde, slowly at first, then breaking into a full sprint to close the distance between them. The closer she got, the more detail she could make out on Gabrielle’s face, her irises startlingly green from crying. She stopped only inches away from her soulmate, staring at her with a mixture of fear and adoration, the former of which disappeared the moment Gabrielle opened her arms.

“Gabrielle,” Xena breathed with relief, taking the blonde up in her embrace and holding her as tightly as she could.

“I’m so sorry, Xena,” Gabrielle choked out, “I didn’t realise how much it really meant for us to be soulmates- and I didn’t think about how you must feel.”

Xena winced. _How I feel. Right. Here goes._

“I’m sorry, too,” she crooned, pulling back from her girlfriend and running her fingers through her blonde hair, “I should have told you everything, been more forthcoming- Gabrielle, you’re the only person who’s ever-”

“Don’t,” Gabrielle cut her off, holding up one hand and smiling through her tears, “I heard you. When you were in your coach’s office, I was right outside. I knew you’d come here to get your mind off of things and I got here right as you were heading downstairs. As soon as I realised that you weren’t alone down there and heard your voice, I just had to listen. I understand now- and I won’t ever walk away again.”

Tears welled up in Xena’s eyes as she listened to Gabrielle’s words, a smile spreading its way across her face. Completely at a loss for words, she reached out and pulled Gabrielle to her again, planting a kiss on the top of her head and relishing at the feel of the smaller blonde nuzzling her cheek against her chest.

“For the record,” she whispered, “I couldn’t get my mind off of you even if I tried. I love you, Gabrielle.”

“I love you too, Xena.”

Gently angling Gabrielle’s chin up with her thumb, Xena pressed their lips together, closing her eyes in contentment when she felt Gabrielle melt against her and deepen the kiss. The storm that had been raging in her mind subsided, and she allowed herself the bliss of just being with her soulmate for a time. Seconds dragged into minutes, and when Xena finally pulled away for the last time, her entire body tingled with heat like fire.

Breathless, she whispered, “we should go home.”

Her eyes glazed over with lust, Gabrielle nodded, and Xena took her hand and led her out of the stadium. They walked in silence to the parking lot, and then rode in silence all the way home, the air between them thick with passion.

In almost robotic fashion, Xena turned the key in the lock and opened the door calmly, hearing it shut softly behind her as Gabrielle followed her inside. She didn’t need to look back to know that the blonde was trailing her into the bedroom, and she tossed her jacket carelessly onto the dresser before sitting down in the chair in the corner to unlace her boots.

A nervousness she wasn’t accustomed to rose in her chest as she pulled off her socks, but it disappeared the moment she felt Gabrielle’s fingers lightly on her jaw. Holding her breath, she looked up into the blonde’s eyes, losing herself in the pools of emerald for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. She stared up at her in awe as Gabrielle lowered herself into her lap, straddling her legs and wasting no time in bringing their lips together.

Xena ran one hand through the back of Gabrielle’s hair, and slid the other down to the bottom of her shirt, tugging at it slightly to request access. Gabrielle’s hands left Xena’s jaw to pull off her shirt and unclasp her bra, both of which she cast aside onto the floor before pressing her chest into Xena’s face.

_Fast learner,_ Xena smirked before licking her lips and taking Gabrielle’s right breast into her mouth. A soft moan left the blonde’s lips, and Xena moved her hands to her back to hold her steady as her body swayed slightly. She paid attention to every bit of Gabrielle’s torso until she felt her hands being guided down between her legs. _Maybe a little_ too _fast._

Wrapping her arms around Gabrielle’s waist, Xena lifted her into the air and carried her across the bedroom, laying her down on top of the sheets and undressing quickly. Her body now fully exposed, she crawled onto the bed after her soulmate and slowly traced her fingers down her abdomen, grinning impishly when she squirmed at the contact.

“Xena,” came Gabrielle’s voice, warning and pleading all at once, and Xena obeyed the implied command, removing the remainder of Gabrielle’s clothing and settling between her legs.

Sitting back on her knees, she ran her hands over Gabrielle’s thighs and licked her lips again at the sight of her arousal. _You want to give orders? Two can play at that game._ An expression of mock impatience on her face, Xena stared at her nails.

“What are you doing?” Gabrielle panted, angling her head up so she could see.

Xena shrugged, “just waiting for your command, O Amazon Queen.”

“ _Xena,_ ” Gabrielle gritted her teeth together with frustration, and Xena ran her tongue over her teeth before spreading her body over Gabrielle’s and propping herself on one arm, leaving mere inches between their lips.

“That’s it,” she purred, her voice a throaty rumble, “now say it again.”

“Xena,” Gabrielle whispered once more, and Xena slipped her fingers through Gabrielle’s folds. A whimper escaped Gabrielle’s lips as Xena toyed with her, making lazy circles with her fingertips but avoiding contact with her clit and her core.

“Do you like that?” she rasped, eliciting a nod from the beauty beneath her. Smirking, she continued, “if you want more, all you have to do is ask.”

This time, a deep, loud groan rose up from Gabrielle’s chest as she repeated “Xena,” stressing both syllables with all the volume she seemed to be able to muster.

Delight flashed through Xena’s eyes and heat built up in her centre as she rotated her hand so that her thumb massaged Gabrielle’s clit and two fingers plunged into her core, pumping in and out deliberately. Gabrielle’s hips rolled in time with Xena’s motion, and it wasn’t long before she panted out again, “ _Xena_ ”.

Chuckling, Xena pressed her lips to Gabrielle’s and murmured, “suit yourself.” She slid a third finger alongside the two rubbing in and out of Gabrielle’s walls and increased the pressure and the tempo, slowly speeding up until Gabrielle’s body shook with tremors of pleasure and her breathing came shallow from her lungs.

She could feel Gabrielle’s walls clench around her, and sensed her own doing the same in response. Just as she was preparing to help Gabrielle ride out her climax, the blonde’s hand appeared between her legs.

Surprised by the contact and the intense arousal it inspired, Xena gasped as Gabrielle wasted no time in dipping her fingers into her core, quickly finding her spot and pressing against it with full force. Letting out a cry, Xena rammed her fingers into Gabrielle and heard her passion echoed as she spilled out onto Gabrielle’s hand.

Her back arching, she bit her lip to quiet herself, but the blonde didn’t possess the same control and her hoarse cries went on for a moment more. Once Xena’s head had cleared, she felt her fingers coated with Gabrielle’s nectar and raised them to her lips, licking them clean.

Exhaustion finally seemed to be winning over her; dizziness replaced clarity as she looked down at Gabrielle, who was just finishing cleaning off her own hand.

“Beautiful,” Xena murmured, nestling her cheek in the space just below Gabrielle’s collar.

“What?”

Xena fought hard to stay awake, and managed just long enough to answer “I love you, Gabrielle” before sleep overtook her. _Close enough._

She awoke slowly, and slightly disoriented. _Where is Gabrielle?_

The blonde no longer lay beneath her, and a blanket now covered her lower body as she lay splayed out on top of the sheets. _What time is it?_ Rolling over so she could see the clock on the nightstand, Xena propped herself up on one arm. _Seven. Damn._

She leapt up from the bed and threw open the closet door, rummaging through the drawers until she found her spandex and hand wraps. _I’ve only got an hour to get ready and-_

A throb of pain shot through her head, making her wince and blink hard. _And I haven’t had any food or water._

Slipping on her fighting gear and putting street clothes over it, she rushed towards the living room. _If I hurry, I can eat and make it to the building in forty-five._

Before she even made it out of the living room, she collided with Gabrielle.

“Oh! Xena!” The blonde stumbled back and Xena reached out to steady her.

Running her hands through her wet hair, Gabrielle blinked a few times, slightly dazed, “I was just coming to wake you up. I’ve got dinner ready; you seemed tired and I know neither of us got much sleep last night, so-”

“Dinner?” Xena interrupted, perking up instantly. _This’ll save time._

“Yeah,” Gabrielle smiled as Xena brushed her shoulder and entered the living room. Sure enough, two bowls of soup sat on the table, steam rising lazily towards the ceiling. “And I started packing us a little,” the blonde continued once Xena noticed the backpacks, bags, and camping gear scattered all across the floor, “did you pick all this stuff up today? You know, before I found you?”

Xena nodded, a spoonful of soup in her mouth. “Most of it. Some of it I already had.” Gesturing towards the pile on the floor, she asked, “Is that everything?”

“It’s everything from the hall closet I could find.”

_So, not everything._

“You got the tent?”

“Yes.”

“The backpacks?”

“Yes.”

“All the dishes and ropes and cold-weather gear? How about the sleeping bag?”

“Yes, Xena,” Gabrielle laughed, pressing a piece of paper into her hands, “I made a list of everything so we’d know what we have. I just didn’t know how to pack all of it so I left it out.”

“I can do it,” Xena mumbled through another mouthful of soup, scanning the list. _That_ is _all the gear from the hall closet. One less thing._

“Did you like the hiking boots I picked up for you?” she asked, gulping down the last of her dinner.

“Actually, yes,” Gabrielle grinned teasingly, “I didn’t think you had it in you to pick out footwear that was both practical _and_ fashionable.”

Smirking back, Xena shrugged, “well, I have many skills.”

“That you do,” the blonde planted a kiss on the top of her head and sat down across from her, picking up her spoon and starting to eat. “Pack,” she demanded in the middle of chewing, “we have less than an hour to get there and I don’t want to do it after you win this thing.”

“Of course, Your Royal Highness,” Xena said sarcastically as she got up and moved over towards the pile of clothes and gear on the floor. She was so accustomed to packing camping gear that it was almost automatic, and she found her mind and her eyes wandering constantly over to Gabrielle.

_She seems so much calmer about this than she did this morning. Perhaps she’s accepted the necessity of what it is I have to do._

The thought produced mixed feelings in Xena’s heart; at the same time she was glad to have Gabrielle’s support in this, she knew that she would need her to get away from it. _I don’t want to live like this forever. Especially not now that I know the truth about Aaron… Ares._ As she gazed at the blonde in front of her and finished up the last backpack, she made a promise to herself. _If we make it back alive from this, I’m going to stop fighting. For her sake._

Gabrielle seemed to be able to sense Xena’s eyes on her and looked up from her dinner, “finished? That was quick.”

Xena opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted, “I know; you have many skills.”

Smirking, she stood and walked back towards the blonde, who handed her a water bottle. “Drink,” she commanded, and Xena obeyed.

“Why don’t we keep the orders limited to in the bedroom?” Xena suggested teasingly between gulps.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, love; I’m pretty sure I outrank you- does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess?”

“Want to find out?”

“No!” Gabrielle said with mock exasperation, “I finally got into the shower and we don’t have time!”

Chuckling, Xena finished off her water and put the dishes in the sink. Inhaling deeply and closing her eyes, she steeled her nerves. _I can win this. I_ have _to win this. For Gabrielle. Then it’s over._

She opened her eyes again and grabbed her keys off the counter, turning towards her soulmate. “Alright. Let’s go.”


	8. Hop A Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xena and Gabrielle fight for their air fare, take a small detour, navigate the ups and downs of cross-country travel, and we discover that Xena's not as bad a cook as we all thought.

Gabrielle crouched outside the old abandoned warehouse, just out of sight of the sporadic groups of men that entered through the back door. The position of the streetlight about twenty feet away ensured that she could see them, but they couldn’t see her, making her feel marginally safer, but no less anxious.

_I know Xena thinks it’s less dangerous if people don’t know who I am to her, but it wouldn’t be that unbelievable for us to have just happened to walk in at the same time._

She made sure no one was close by before pulling out her phone to check the time, the dim light emanating from the screen illuminating how her breath rose in thin arcs towards the sky.

 _Why couldn’t_ I _have gone in first and_ she _waited out here in the cold? She doesn’t even seem to feel it, anyway._

The clock read seven fifty-five, and even though she’d received strict instructions to wait until eight to enter, Gabrielle wasn’t about to stay outside any longer.

_So what if there’s nothing exciting to attract anyone’s attention yet? Nothing’s going to happen to me in five minutes._

Standing up and stretching her legs, she made her way towards the doorway, shoving her hand in her pocket to hold on to the money Xena had given her before she’d gone ahead, disguising it from potential prying eyes.

 _“They might charge you an entry fee,”_ Xena had said as she pulled out what cash remained from the last week’s winnings, _“and if they don’t, you can bet on me.”_

The second part of the sentence had been said with a smirk that almost made Xena’s violent hobby endearing rather than terrifying. _Almost._ A low thrum of guilt and fear still plagued Gabrielle’s mind, even though she knew that there was nothing else they could do. _At the same time I know she can win, I can’t be sure how long our luck will hold out._

The memory of Ares killing Xena with a flick of his wrist still haunted her. _He killed her instantly, without even blinking. There was nothing I could do. Can we really stand up to gods and shamanesses and whatever else may be out there? What’s this “power” we’re supposed to have?_

Shaking her head, she flung open the door to the warehouse, _One thing at a time, Gabrielle. Let’s just get through tonight first._

The first thing that struck her about the interior of the old building was the smell. On top of the mildewy scent that came with a long-abandoned structure lay the stench of alcohol and sweat. There were easily twice as many people packed into the warehouse as there had been the last time she’d seen Xena fight, and it was even harder to make out faces; the only lights inside were strung up in four places, one above each designated ring. _By the gods._

Instead of makeshift arenas made out of rope, the fighting rings were tall, metal cages, amalgamations of bits of fence and barbed wire fused together that each stood about ten feet high. _It’s like dogfighting! They can’t get out if they try… and I can’t get in._

Jostled left and right by the crowd, Gabrielle walked towards the cage closest to her. _Where is Xena?_ She swiveled her head in every direction, hoping her eyes would find electric blue somewhere in the crowd.

_I don’t know which one of these things they’re going to throw her in, either. Maybe there’s a-_

Her forward momentum was halted completely as she rammed into a massive man, who turned around with a scowl.

“You wanna watch where you’re going, assho-” The man’s furious expression disappeared, replaced in an instant with a slimy grin. “On second thought, come on back, sweet thing.”

His breath reeked of cheap beer, and the frightening glint in his eye motivated Gabrielle to take a nervous step back. _Why is this becoming a recurring theme?_

“Uh,” she stammered, trying to think of a good way to get out of her predicament, “I’m really sorry; I’ve gotta get-”

“Get where, baby?” he cut her off, taking a step closer, “where are you gonna go? Are you by yourself? Stay with me; I’ll take care of you.”

He reached a hand out towards her and she recoiled, her eyes darting left and right in search of an escape route. _There’s too many people._ She swallowed hard and looked back at his grimy, fast-approaching palm. She held her arms up in defence and prepared to swat it away, but someone else beat her to it.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

_Xena._

Gabrielle let out a sigh of relief as she gazed up at her soulmate, who had suddenly materialized beside her and was holding the man’s wrist in what looked to be a death grip. Blue fire sizzled in Xena’s irises, in stark contrast with her otherwise icy expression as she stared the man down, actually prompting him to take a few steps back.

“Okay, okay, lady,” he slurred, trying unsuccessfully to squirm out of her grip, “geez, take it easy.”

Xena’s gaze flicked over to Gabrielle, and she understood the signal immediately. Smiling sweetly, she chirped, “it’s okay, love; you can let him go.”

The man’s face scrunched in confusion as Xena released him, his eyes flicking back and forth between the two women. Gabrielle took a step towards Xena and gently slipped her hands around her arm, and Xena assumed a protective stance and acknowledged her hands with a touch.

“Fucking dykes, man,” the man cursed, shaking his head and stumbling away.

A huge grin spread across Gabrielle’s lips as she watched him hobble off in defeat before turning to face her soulmate, who looked down at her with one eyebrow raised.

“So much for waiting until eight, hmm?”

Gabrielle shrugged, “so much for not wanting anyone to know who I am to you.”

Xena smirked and threw her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders possessively, “yeah, well, now that I think about it, _nobody’d_ dare to mess with Xena’s girl.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” Gabrielle smiled back, getting up on her toes to capture Xena’s lips in a searing kiss. As soon as she felt Xena’s hands drift down her back, she pulled away, a playful glint in her eye, “hey, I’m not going to be the one responsible for breaking your focus- but I must say, I like this look on you.” She gestured towards Xena’s sports bra and spandex, eliciting a sheepish grin from her girlfriend.

“Thanks,” she said sarcastically before leading Gabrielle through the crowd towards one of the cages. “There’s eight of us here tonight, and we’re going in a bracket, so I’ll fight three times.”

 _Back in business mode, I see._ Gabrielle sighed as she was forced to think about the real reason Xena was wearing spandex, and why she had had to come to her rescue once again. _We are in a dangerous situation with dangerous people. And I am defenceless and Xena might as well have a target painted on her head._

“Okay,” she nodded curtly, “do you know who your first guy is?”

What she really wanted to ask was _can you beat him?_ , but she restrained herself just in case she wouldn’t like the answer.

“His name’s Krykus,” Xena began, “and he’s not a bad fighter…”

She trailed off, apparently distracted by something going on over Gabrielle’s shoulder. Gabrielle turned to follow Xena’s gaze and saw a big man in sunglasses being handed a microphone. _We haven’t got much time._

“And?” she urged, grabbing Xena’s wrist to get her attention.

“ _But,_ ” Xena smirked, “he’s not a _good_ fighter, either.”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” the man with the microphone boomed over the noise of the crowd, “HAVE WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!”

The crowd erupted into discordant cheering, the sheer volume of noise making the walls shake.

“Come on!” Gabrielle just barely heard Xena shout, “we’re over here!”

She let Xena lead her through the throngs of rowdy spectators as the announcer continued, “OVER IN CAGE ONE, DRACO THE DEFILER AND ZAGREAS THE ZEALOUS! IN CAGE TWO, MYZENTIUS THE MIGHTY AND GURKHAN THE MAGNIFICENT! IN CAGE THREE, DARPHUS THE DAMNED AND CORTESE THE CONQUEROR! AND, FINALLY, IN CAGE FOUR, KRYKUS THE COLOSSUS AND XENA THE DESTROYER!”

The crowd roared even louder and Gabrielle covered her ears. _I don’t see how it’s possible that they’ve never been found out._

“Alright,” Xena said, leaning down so her lips were right on Gabrielle’s ear, “I’ve got to go in there, but I want you to stay close so I can see you.”

“Don’t worry about me, Xena. Just concentrate on getting through this.”

Xena gave a quick nod and pressed her lips to the side of Gabrielle’s head before disappearing into the crowd. _And she’s gone again._

Gabrielle shuffled nervously where she stood. She had a good view of the cage, but still felt uneasy at her limited access to her soulmate. _I don’t know what I’d even do to protect her; I just don’t like not having the option._

A man wearing a bright red shirt entered the cage, followed closely by Xena and another, more shirtless man that Gabrielle had never seen before. _That must be Krykus._

The crowd that had settled around the cage pressed in closer, and some shouts of excitement and anticipation were let loose on top of the already-mounting noise. The man in the red shirt said a few words to Xena and Krykus, then waved each of them to separate ends of the cage. _What’s happening? Was he explaining the rules? Oh, god,_ are _there any rules?_

Xena and Krykus both stood on their respective sides with their fists up, and Xena bared her teeth in a snarl. Krykus lunged and Xena surged forward to meet him, but the man in the red shirt stopped them both with outstretched arms before they could make contact.

“Oh, fuck!” Gabrielle blurted out by accident, covering her eyes with her hands.

“Hey, hey, hey, wait!” red-shirt shouted, “not yet!”

Gabrielle peeked through her fingers and saw that nobody had gotten hurt. _At least, “not yet”._

“Alright!” Red-shirt was struggling to rein in the two volatile fighters, and after a few more seconds, he finally gave up: “Threetwoone, GO!” he shouted, ducking out of the cage and slamming the door behind him.

As if they were spring-loaded, Xena and Krykus lurched towards each other, fists flying.

Gabrielle battled internally with herself, unsure of whether it would be worse to close her eyes or keep them open, but ultimately, she decided that it would be better to watch Xena.

Xena landed the first blow, a hard right cross to the side of Krykus’ head, and deflected his counterattack with what looked to be relative ease.

 _Come on, Xena,_ Gabrielle urged, clenching her own fists with anxiety, _you can do this._

Krykus recovered fairly quickly from Xena’s hit and swung back, narrowly missing Xena’s head as she ducked to the side.

“She doesn’t stand a chance,” Gabrielle heard someone to her left say, “Krykus is a grappler, not a boxer. Once she gets too close…”

Gabrielle’s heart beat out of her chest. _Does she know that? She said she didn’t think he was a good fighter, but what if he was just off his game when she’d seen him before?_ She longed to rush up to the cage and warn her soulmate, but she knew that the wire would cut and doubted she could be heard. _I have to have faith in her. Have faith, Gabrielle._ Clasping her hands together and holding them to her chest, she watched in silence.

Xena took a few warning swings at Krykus, preventing him from getting in close and clipping his ear on the last one. _Maybe she_ does _know about him. She’s certainly not giving him any opportunities to grab her._

The fighters circled around each other a few times, exchanging blows that all ended in deflections until Xena landed a hit on Krykus’ nose.

“Yes!” Gabrielle cheered, surprising herself, but instead of backing off, Krykus moved forward. He ducked under Xena’s arm and got both his hands around her neck, pulling her sideways and trying to position himself to flip her.

Gabrielle’s face fell and she watched in horror as Xena struggled to break free from his grip. The muscles in Xena’s neck strained visibly beneath her skin, and she gritted her teeth in a display of pain and effort.

 _I don’t know what to do,_ Gabrielle’s mind raced, _I don’t know what to tell her._ Adrenaline surged through her body and she shoved a few people to the side. She gripped the cage with both hands, ignoring the sharp pain it caused her, and shouted, “come on, Xena! Come through!”

Xena’s eyes flicked up towards her, just for an instant, then went right back down.

_Xena, please._

She continued straining against Krykus for a moment, then put her head down.

_Don’t give up!_

Out of the corner of her eye, Gabrielle watched Xena’s leg move. It happened so quickly she almost missed it, but as soon as Xena’s foot hit the ground again, Krykus was staggering back, doubled over. Blood streamed from his nose, and drops of red liquid dripped from Xena’s knee. Before he could stand back up, Xena lifted her left leg and delivered a powerful kick to his head. Krykus hit the ground and the crowd erupted into cheers as red-shirt rushed into the cage to raise Xena’s hand in victory.

Xena bared her teeth in a display of savage glory until her eyes came to rest on Gabrielle. As soon as their eyes met, her expression morphed, just for an instant, into one of grim determination. They shared a quick nod, _one down, two to go,_ and then Xena’s vicious grin returned.

Gabrielle moved towards the cage door to meet her soulmate, but instead of walking out of the cage, Xena sat cross-legged on the ground. _What is she doing?_ She kneeled down behind Xena and called her name, her heart melting when she turned and exposed her gorgeous blue eyes.

“Gabrielle.”

The relief in Xena’s voice reverberated in her chest, and Gabrielle put her hand up to the cage. “What are you doing in there? Isn’t the fight over?”

“Yes,” Xena responded, lining up her hand with Gabrielle’s, “but they’re not letting me out until everyone else is done. Might take a while; fights are all going to knockouts tonight.”

“They’re _what?_ ”

 _I knew that tonight would be rough, but isn’t that a little…_ excessive _? And how can they keep her in this cage like an animal?_

“Chances are,” Xena continued, her voice frighteningly neutral, “my next fight will be in here, too. I won too fast, so they’ll want to rattle me. Make me feel trapped.”

Shaking her head in disbelief, Gabrielle breathed, “Xena, that’s not fair. They can’t do that.”

“Sure, they can,” Xena shrugged, “they know I need this as much as they do.”

Gabrielle closed her eyes as the harsh reality of Xena’s words hit her. _She’s right. The people who run this thing depend on it to get by. And right now, we’re just as dependent. I hate this; it’s so wrong for-_

Her train of thought was cut off by the gentle stroke of Xena’s thumb on her palm. The touch stung a bit, and Gabrielle flinched.

“What happened?” Xena asked, her brow furrowing with concern.

Gabrielle turned her hand around and found it to be covered in scrapes and cuts; a small flow of blood trickled down her palm and onto her wrist.

“Oh,” she said, and winced, suddenly feeling the full extent of the pain, “nothing, really, I just grabbed the stupid cage and it-”

“Do you have your tetanus shot?” Xena interrupted, and Gabrielle nodded in response.

“Alright,” Xena said, “it should be alright, then- but I still want to clean it up and bandage it once we get out of here- _you’re_ not supposed to be the one getting torn up.”

“I don’t want you getting torn up, either, Xena,” Gabrielle shook her head, then continued with a chuckle, “so don’t let anybody else get a hold on you and scare me like that again.”

“I won’t,” Xena smirked, “I promise.”

She opened her mouth to speak again, but red-shirt knocked on the cage and diverted her attention.

“Hey, Xena,” he barked in a gruff voice, “get up; your next guy’s through.”

“Who is he?”

All the life that had been in Xena’s eyes vanished and her voice grew flat. _Just being around these people does something to her. It’s like she’s not herself anymore; she’s just a shell._

“Cortese,” red-shirt answered, “and Draco and Gurkhan both won their fights.”

Xena nodded curtly, “let me guess: I’m staying in here?”

“Yep.”

 _She’s completely empty._ Gabrielle longed to break down the bars of Xena’s cage, to take her soulmate into her arms and shield her from the cruelty of her world. Her heart ached as she watched Xena stand back up, almost robotically, and turn back to the centre of the ring. I can’t let her tune out completely.

“Xena!” she called out, relieved when she still turned around. “I love you!”

A little bit of light returned to Xena’s eyes as she gave a small smile, “I love you too, Gabrielle.”

An uproar from somewhere behind Gabrielle startled her, and she moved away from the cage door. _That must be Cortese._ Sure enough, the man she’d set her sights on was let into the cage. He appeared to be a little older than the other fighters; his hair had just a touch of grey in it and his countenance was more condescending than blatantly aggressive. _He seems like the type who plays mind games- I shouldn’t sell him short physically, though; he’s easily as big as Krykus and almost as buff as Draco._

Her quick assessment of Xena’s opponent surprised her; she could read him so easily for a man she’d never seen before. _Maybe I used to do this all the time, when Xena and I were warriors._

She shook her head and scoffed quietly, _Gabrielle the warrior. I mean, Xena’s believable as a warrior, but me… I can’t even throw a good punch! How could I have been a warrior or an Amazon? How am I supposed to help Xena beat Alti when all I’ve been doing so far is making her come to my rescue?_ Her mind was poised to wallow in anxieties for the rest of the evening, but a shout from red-shirt startled her back into the outside world."

Fight!”

Immediately turning her attention back to Xena, she watched the fight unfold. Rather than lunging immediately, Cortese took his time, circling around Xena slowly and keeping his fists up. _She’s not moving with him. She’s barely even turning!_

This time, she was going to study Xena, study how she fought so she could try to replicate it. Xena tilted her head slightly every time Cortese passed out of her field of vision, but she never turned all the way around.

 _He_ is _trying to play games with her,_ Gabrielle realised, _and this is her way of telling him that she’s not going to play_ his _game._

After two more circles, Cortese stopped and stood still behind Xena. She turned to face him, her hands not in fists, but instead held loosely, with her index and middle finger together and other fingers relaxed and slightly curled. _She can curl her hands into fists if she wants to, but she can also easily catch his hands or wrists._

Cortese stepped forward and took a deliberate swing at Xena’s lower body, a blow that she deflected down and to the side with her palm. _Or she could do that._

The diversion of momentum from Cortese’s punch knocked him off balance, just briefly, and Xena took advantage of his mistake. With her left leg, she kicked him in the chest hard enough to make him stagger back, but unlike Krykus, he recovered quickly. Settling back on his legs and putting his fists back up, he began his circling again.

Xena appeared to have a different strategy; she copied his movements, crossing her legs one behind the other and skirting around the edge of the cage slowly, all the while making small circles in the air with her hands. In a flash, she made her hands into fists and threw a hard punch at Cortese’s face. Much to Gabrielle’s surprise, he deflected the blow and countered with one of his own, one that connected with Xena’s ribs.

Pain flashed across Xena’s face for a fraction of a second, then she went back in with both fists, punching and dodging so quickly that Gabrielle lost track of whose hands were whose. Hits were exchanged left and right, and so many landed on both sides that Gabrielle couldn’t determine a clear winner. She needs to break the pattern, do something different.

As if she’d read Gabrielle’s mind, Xena deflected a low punch with her knee, adding her legs into the equation. She flicked her foot out and caught his kneecap, forcing his leg to buckle and throwing off his rhythm.

He stumbled for a moment before regaining his balance, but Xena had already launched into a spinning kick that landed on the side of his jaw and knocked him out cold. Cortese hit the concrete as dark red flecks of blood spattered across the floor, the result of a bloody nose that ran like a faucet and pooled beneath his face.

“Stop!” Red-shirt raised his arms and busted open the cage door, only stopping for a moment to raise Xena’s hand before jerking his thumb towards the exit and grumbling “out”. He knelt down in front of Cortese and lifted his head, sighing relief when he opened his eyes but swearing profusely when the nosebleed continued.

The crowd was getting even rowdier than they had been before, and Gabrielle found herself being jostled to the side and away from her soulmate. _I can’t get separated from her again. She might not be able to find me._

“Xena!” she shouted, hoping that her voice would be distinguishable over all the others chanting her name, “Xena!”

_This isn’t working. Maybe if I…_

Working up as much nerve as she could, she threw her shoulder forward and tried to bulldoze her way through the crowd. _If I can just get close enough…_ The people she knocked into seemed surprised that someone her size was attempting to push through them, and as a result, she was able to get in view of where Xena stood off to the side of the cage.

“ _Xena!_ ” she called one more time, and she finally made the eye contact she’d been seeking out.

Xena sprang into action, easily shoving aside the remaining people between herself and Gabrielle until she reached out to grab her hand. Clinging to her waist, Gabrielle used her girlfriend as a plow to part the rest of the crowd until they got to a relatively clear part of the warehouse.

“They let you out!” she shouted over the noise, “I thought you said they were going to keep you in there because you were doing too well!”

“They were!” Xena yelled back, “that’s why I made sure I drew blood!”

 _What did she just say? She was trying to make the other guys_ bleed _?_

“What!?”

“Blood, Gabrielle! They don’t want to get found out, so if enough blood gets on the floor, they have to bleach it!”

_Bleach…_

As if on cue, the smell of bleach wafted over the crowd, strong enough to make Gabrielle sneeze. _They won’t be having any more fights over there so Xena got let out. It’s brilliant… and a little frightening._ She looked up at her soulmate, who was at present reaching down to reexamine her cut hands. _I wonder what other cruel tricks like that she had to learn to get by. She’s such a different person in the ring; I almost don’t recognise her._

The Xena she knew wasn’t the type to play to the crowd; she kept her head down and did what was needed from her, but the showy, aggressive side of her never came out at soccer practice or when doing anything else for which she had an audience.

 _What if, deep down… she actually_ likes _doing this?_

The question didn’t have long to fester in her mind before red-shirt reappeared, tugging at Xena’s arm and barking, “you’re in cage one with Gurkhan.”

Xena nodded curtly, the mask of emotionlessness back on her face. As soon as he left, Xena’s eyes flicked down to the ground and Gabrielle just caught her whisper “ _damn_ ”.

_That’s not a good sign._

“Xena,” she got her soulmate’s attention with a hand pressed to her cheek, “Xena, what is it?”

Sighing, Xena pressed her hand on top of Gabrielle’s and then brought it to her chest, “I don’t know Gurkhan. Cortese and Krykus were easy because I’ve seen them fight before, but I’ve never even heard of Gurkhan- and if he beat Draco…”

“Stop just a minute, Xena,” Gabrielle interrupted, her protective instincts taking over her, “now, let’s think about this logically: you beat Krykus by so much that whoever runs these things was trying to put you at a disadvantage. Then you managed to do it again and get yourself out of the disadvantage. Sure, Gurkhan beat Draco, but _you_ can beat Draco, too, meaning that all we know about Gurkhan is that he’s better than Draco. And I am absolutely positive that he can’t beat you.”

Xena’s face scrunched in confusion, “how’s that?”

“Because you wouldn’t lose with me here. It’s not just you that you’re protecting anymore.”

A smile spread its way across Xena’s lips and Gabrielle returned it with one of her own. _Great. I may have just encouraged her to pulverize another human being for my sake, but at this point, whatever works is good enough for me. I just want to get out of here._

“Xena!” Red-shirt was back, this time with even more impatience as he snapped his fingers and whistled for her to get in the cage. “Come on!” he shouted, holding the door open and waving her in, “you’ve got ten seconds to get in here or he wins, and then it’s open season on you!”

A shudder of fury passed through Gabrielle’s body as Xena rushed across the floor to meet Gurkhan. _Did he just threaten her? I swear, if he even puts one hand on her, I’ll… I don’t know what I’ll do._

The cage door closed behind Xena just as the crowd filled in the space in front of Gabrielle. Anger was replaced by panic as she lost her line of sight. _I can’t see Xena- and she can’t see me._

She tried to push her way through the spectators, but they didn‘t seem to be in any mood to let her in.

“Listen!” she shouted to anyone who could hear, “you’ve _got_ to let me through; Xena’s my-”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!”

The announcer’s voice blasted over the crowd again, diverting the attention of everyone around Gabrielle back towards the cage.

 _Oh, come_ on! _You really could not have had worse timing._

“THEY’VE MADE IT THROUGH ROUNDS ONE AND TWO UNSCATHED, AND NOW, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME, FACING OFF IN CAGE ONE, FIGHTING FOR THE POWER, FOR THE GLORY, FOR A CASH PRIZE OF FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS, GURKHAN THE MAGNIFICENT AND XENA THE DESTROYER!!”

Gabrielle kept searching for gaps in the crowd, but nobody budged.

“LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!”

A surge of raucous cheering from the crowd let Gabrielle know that the tempo of the fight was more like the one against Zagreas, _they must have attacked right off the bat- what is happening?_

She stood up on her toes to try to see through the spaces between shoulders, and caught a glimpse of raven hair flashing by. _She’s moving a lot, even more than usual._

The cage rattled and shook, eliciting more cheers from the crowd that stirred the group in front of Gabrielle enough that she could slip just a bit closer. _Not ideal, but better._

From her new position, she could hear the contact every time a hit landed or was halted by a hard block, but the lack of visibility made her anxious. _I can’t tell if Xena’s on the defensive or not._

Another rattle of the cage set the crowd roaring again, and Gabrielle shoved her way to the front. Careful not to grab the cage again, she pressed as close as she could and locked her eyes onto her soulmate. Xena was standing at the far end of the cage with her fists up. Her skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat and she stood awkwardly, like it was uncomfortable to put pressure on her right leg. _By the gods, I forgot- she’s still got those stitches in her leg, and she’s been running around on it all night! And if she’s been kicking with her left leg, it must be sore… There’s no chance she can subdue him with a kick this time._

Xena’s eyes flicked upward for an instant, then fluttered shut as Gurkhan took a step forward, fist poised to strike. She dropped her fists to her sides and tightened her jaw like she had given up. _What is she doing?_

Gurkhan’s fist was only centimetres from her face when her eyes shot open again. Defying the laws of time, she caught his hand in a fraction of a second and wrenched it behind his back, spinning him so that his back was to her. Quick as lightning, she jabbed her fingers into his collarbone from behind and he collapsed to the ground, choking for air.

Gabrielle’s heart stopped, half in terror and half in relief. _What is she doing to him? She’s not even touching him and he looks like he’s in pain._

Gurkhan reached up towards Xena like he was begging, and a flash of panic crossed over her face before she knelt down beside him and repeated the strike with her fingers. A sickening crack followed the action, and Gurkhan gasped, greedily sucking air back into his lungs.

_Don’t back off yet._

The gleam in his eyes was dark and murderous, his temples throbbing with anger, and Xena seemed to sense it, too. She drove the back of her fist into his face and his muscles relaxed, his eyelids closing and chest heaving more slowly.

Silence fell over the crowd a moment, then the announcer returned to the mic, “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE OUR CHAMPION, XENA THE DESTROYER!!”

The cheers started from the back of the crowd around the cage and worked their way forward, where the audience was still in disbelief. _They didn’t see what she did in the back… I’m not so sure_ I _did, either._

Gabrielle took a look around, _nobody’s moving yet; I have to get closer._

Scraping against the sides of the cage a bit, she worked her way around towards the door, where she flung herself at the hastily-released Xena, wrapping her arms around her neck. Nudging her hair to the side with her nose, she pressed her lips to her ear and whispered urgently, “what did you do?”

Xena’s voice wavered slightly as she reciprocated the embrace and whispered back, “I don’t know.”

She released Gabrielle, but left her arm around her shoulder, leaning her in one more time to say, “let’s just get what we came for and get out of here.”

“Right,” Gabrielle nodded, following Xena’s eyes until they rested on a tall, leanly muscled man with short brown hair. _That must be our guy._

Securing Xena’s arm around her shoulders with her hand, Gabrielle moved over towards the man.

“Damon,” Xena said when they got close enough, her face and voice emotionless. _He’s the one she called this morning._

“Xena!” he responded, holding up his beer in acknowledgement. _He seems too excited. Something’s wrong._

“Damon, I want my winnings.”

Damon seemed to take a sudden interest in the floor to his left as he sucked his teeth and answered, “listen, Xena- I’ve got the money, but I don’t think I can give it to you- that thing you did to Gurkhan… it just didn’t seem fair.”

“Fair?” Xena repeated, an edge to her voice that Gabrielle hadn’t heard directed towards any of the fighting crowd before, “there’s no rules; how can it be un _fair_?”

The sound of anger and disbelief in Xena’s voice triggered a rise in Gabrielle, and she felt her blood start to boil as Damon spoke again.

“It just looked sketchy, that’s all. For all I know, you and Gurkhan might have planned that and decided to split the cash, or-”

“I don’t cheat,” Xena snapped, dropping her arms and her sides and balling her hands into fists.

_Usually, I’d make her back down, but…_

“Okay, okay,” Damon said, raising his hands as if in surrender and setting his beer on the ground. Reaching into his pocket and pulling out a wad of cash, he leaned in close to Xena’s face as the mounting anger in Gabrielle neared its peak. “How about we make a deal?” he whispered, his gravelly voice slithering sickeningly through the air, “you give me a night of… service,” his eyes flicked down towards Xena’s chest, “and I’ll give you the cash.”

Xena’s jaw tightened and Gabrielle clenched her fists as she shot daggers at Damon with her eyes. His free hand moved, almost in slow motion towards Xena’s waist, and something snapped in Gabrielle.

Like a knee-jerk reflex, she reached out and grabbed his wrist, twisting it around and behind his back. He yelped in what sounded like a mixture of pain and surprise, and she drove her foot into the crook of his knee, causing his legs to buckle and forcing him to the ground.

“I’ll take that,” she snapped, her voice uncharacteristically husky and forceful as she snatched the money from his hand, “come on, Xena.”

She took ahold of Xena’s bicep and steered her in the direction of the door, her mind still boiling over with anger. _I can’t_ believe _he could even_ dare _to suggest that, especially in front of_ me _! Who does he think he is? _Whirling around to look back at the man who was still in shock on his knees, she shouted, “and don’t you _ever_ touch my girlfriend!”__

Her skin burning with fury, she marched Xena through the still-mingling crowd and out the door. _The simple fact that he had the_ nerve, _the_ audacity, _is simply_ mind-boggling _! He accuses Xena of cheating and then thinks it’s a good idea to try to get lucky? She’s my soulmate and if anyone ever tries to put their filthy hands-_

“Gabrielle!”

The sound of Xena’s voice cut through her train of thought and knocked her into reality.

“What?” she asked, breathless.

Xena’s face held so many emotions at once that Gabrielle couldn’t pick out which was the strongest, but when she spoke, it all came out as exhilaration. “We parked in the other direction.”

Gabrielle blinked a few times. The cold night air stung her cheeks and forced her to cool down. Her mind slowed down and focused on what had just happened.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out loud, her adrenaline rush quickly replaced by panic, “I just attacked that guy.”

 _What was that? How did I even_ do _that? Is he going to call the cops on me? Did I just put Xena and I in even worse danger?_

“Yeah, you did,” Xena chuckled, a tentative smirk taking over her features, “with good form, too.”

_Good form?_

For the first time since the fights began, Gabrielle took a hard look at Xena. Her skin was covered in scrapes, bruises, and blood, and her leg shook slightly when she put weight on it, likely the result of her soccer injury. _Or is she just shivering because she’s out in the cold wearing spandex?_

Gabrielle’s eyes flicked down to Xena’s right hand, which clutched the bag that held her street clothes. “When did you pick that up?”

“Grabbed it on the way out. Lucky for me you kept close to the walls.”

“I kept close to the…”

Shaking her head in disbelief, Gabrielle pressed her fingers to her temples. _Did I just rescue Xena? She looks like she couldn’t have fought Damon if she tried! By the gods, she looks awful…_

“We have to get you home,” she blurted out, grabbing Xena’s arm again and walking in the other direction, “if we don’t get you cleaned up fast, we’re going to miss our flight.”

Surprising herself with her own methodical, militarized response, she furrowed her brow, _maybe I_ do _have a warrior instinct. That’s the only explanation for what happened in there._

“Gabrielle!” Xena called again, drawing her out of her own mind.

The blonde turned to look at her girlfriend expectantly.

“Slow down; we’ve got more than an hour- can I put some clothes on before I drive us home?”

Shaking her head to clear it, Gabrielle responded, “right. Clothes. Do that.”

_Come on, Gabrielle; you’re not a warrior right now._

Xena slid some jeans on over her spandex and a shirt and jacket over her sports bra before taking Gabrielle’s hand. She leaned down to kiss her gently and stroke the side of her cheek, the contact soothing Gabrielle’s mind more than anything else could.

“Relax, love,” she crooned, “thank you for protecting me back there, but we’re safe now. And we have plenty of time.”

Taking a few deep breaths and closing her eyes, Gabrielle nodded. “Okay. We’re safe.”

Wrapping her arm around her waist, she let Xena lead the rest of the way to Argo and focused on staying calm on the ride home. _I don’t like feeling this on edge. It’s like we’re out of the frying pan and into the fire. First these fights, now the journey, then Alti- are we ever going to catch a break?_ She followed Xena into the apartment and into the bathroom, flicking on light switches as she went. _I swear, we’d live in the dark if I weren’t here._ Xena pulled off her jacket and shirt and set them on the counter, drawing a gasp out of Gabrielle.

“Oh my god, _Xena!_ ” she shouted, racing towards her girlfriend.

Xena jumped and turned around, clearly startled, “what?”

Gabrielle turned her back around by her shoulders and stared in horror at the cuts all over Xena’s back. _When the cage was rattling… she must have gotten thrown against it!_

Blood trickled sluggishly from a few of the scratches, but most of them were just abrasions, raised, red, and raw.

“What is it?”

Barely able to choke out the words, Gabrielle answered, “you’re… bleeding all over! Sit down and stay here; I’ll be right back.”

Not looking back to see if she was obeying, Gabrielle rushed into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit from underneath the sink. _Please don’t be infected, please don’t be infected._ When she returned, Xena was seated on the edge of the bathtub, turning her head at an awkward angle to try to see her own back. At any other time, the owl-like action might have made Gabrielle laugh, but at present, all she could think about was cleaning the wounds.

“Take off your bra,” Gabrielle ordered, setting the first aid kit down on the counter and rifling through its contents in search of antiseptic.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Xena’s smirk and turned her head, trying to fight down the laugh that threatened to escape and spoil the seriousness of the moment, “I’m serious,” she said, “if you don’t get undressed, I can’t take care of you.”

“Oh, really?” Xena’s grin was even more impish, and Gabrielle bit her lip to fight her own smile.

 _What is this? When everything’s okay, she’s mopey, but when she’s in serious trouble, it’s suddenly time for dirty jokes?_ A snicker betrayed her attempts at irritation, _yep, that’s just Xena._

“Yeah,” she said, now willing to play along, “so while you’re at it, take off those pants, too.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Xena smiled, rising and following instructions.

Gabrielle tried hard not to notice the way she winced when her sports bra rubbed against her shoulder blades, or her whimper when her jeans disturbed her stitches. _That’s priority number one._

Kneeling down in front of Xena on the floor, she closely examined the damage done to her leg. The stitches hadn’t been pulled completely out, but they were looser than they should be.

“This is going to sting,” she said in the most comforting voice possible, uncertain of who exactly she was trying to comfort, Xena or herself.

Xena nodded and closed her eyes as Gabrielle applied the a saltwater solution onto her calf with a cotton ball. It didn’t escape her how Xena flinched every time she dabbed it on, and did her best to be gentle. _Hold out just one more second, almost done._ She stopped her treatment of the wound and wrapped a bandage around it, _hopefully this’ll keep the stitches in place until they’re supposed to come out._ The moment she pulled away, she heard Xena exhale.

“Not through yet,” she told her now-pouting girlfriend as she removed her shoes, rolled up her pant legs, and stepped behind her in the shower, detaching the showerhead from its holster on the wall and turning on some warm water.

“Lean back,” she instructed gently, and Xena obeyed, closing her eyes and allowing Gabrielle to wet her hair. “Stay still.”

_How many times am I going to have to play doctor with her?_

She hastily lathered shampoo into Xena’s hair and rinsed it out before finally turning her eyes down to her back, where a few of Xena’s cuts were still open. _The water seems to have helped with most of them… but this one might be a problem._ She lightly traced her finger over a wound that looked more like a puncture than a scrape and heard Xena’s sharp inhale.

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, removing her hand. Yeah, it’s going to take some special attention.

Grabbing the bar of soap from the rack on the wall, Gabrielle washed out the cuts on Xena’s back, trying to keep her touch as light as possible but still feeling a stab of guilt each time she felt the muscles in Xena’s back clench. Rinsing the soap off seemed to close up everything but the one puncture, so she picked up the saline solution again and applied it to the small, circular wound. Pressing a band-aid over the spot, Gabrielle finally breathed easy.

“There. You’re finished.”

“Thank you.”

The sheepish gratitude in Xena’s voice mixed with deep affection, and Gabrielle couldn’t help but tilt her chin back to kiss her tenderly.

“Don’t make me do that again,” she said with a lightly teasing tone, and Xena smiled and shook her head, her hair scattering water droplets across Gabrielle’s clothes, “cross my heart.”

Gabrielle stepped out of the tub and reached down to help Xena stand, but the brunette seemed to have other ideas. She took Gabrielle’s hands in her own and traced over the tiny scabs that had formed over the lacerations.

“Your hands look better,” she mused aloud, turning them over, “do they still hurt?”

“Not so much anymore,” Gabrielle responded, curling her fingers around Xena’s as proof.

“Better safe than sorry.”

Xena reached for the first aid kit and pulled out antibiotic ointment, applying it to the scrapes with gentle precision before wrapping bandages around them.

“Great,” Gabrielle chuckled, “now it looks like _I_ was the one in a street fight.”

She extended her hands again and helped a smiling Xena stand before allowing herself to be used as a crutch on the way to the bedroom. _That leg’s stiffening up- good thing we’ve got a long flight ahead of us._

She helped Xena get dressed without irritating her wounds then watched from the front door as she carried all their gear down to the sidewalk, keeping a careful eye on how gingerly she was treating her right calf. _The trainer gave her medication for the pain, didn’t he?_

“Xena, where’d you put your pills?”

“Counter,” she responded, “I’ll go get them and you call a cab.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle nodded, walking down the steps and squinting at the street. _If I’m lucky, there’ll be one coming this way…_ But no such luck came her way, and she pulled out her phone to dial the taxi service.

Soft footsteps behind her alerted her to Xena’s arrival just as she was hanging up the phone.

“No luck?”

“No, but the place is sending a cab. They should be here in about five minutes.”

Xena nodded and put her hands in her pockets while Gabrielle took a quick inventory of all of their gear. _We’ve got all the backpacks… and the bags… and-_ She took notice of two oddly-shaped black bags that she didn’t remember pulling out and couldn’t recall Xena packing.

“Xena, what’s in that?”

“Oh, that’s uh… Just some extra supplies.”

Gabrielle raised her eyebrows at the much taller woman, who was now rocking back and forth slightly while avoiding eye contact. “You’re a terrible liar, Xena.”

The brunette spent a moment more avoiding her gaze, then sighed and relented, unzipping the larger of the cases. Peering inside, Gabrielle saw the smooth wooden curve of a longbow and gasped. “By the gods, Xena! Why do you have that?”

Shrugging embarrassedly, Xena answered, “I don’t know what we’re going to be up against out there- and I don’t have a firearm license…”

“So you decided that buying a _longbow_ would be the best course of action?”

“I didn’t just buy it!” Xena said, sounding almost offended, “I already had it!”

“You already…” Gabrielle trailed off as she processed what Xena had just told her.

 _She just happened to have a longbow lying around the house._ A small snicker escaped her lips as she thought about it. _Of course she did. She’s Xena. And she might be right._

“Can you even get a bow and arrows through customs?”

“If you check it in and it stays with the luggage, yes.”

_She did her homework._

The cab pulled up and Xena waved to alert the driver to their presence.

“Okay,” Gabrielle relented, letting out a chuckle, “the longbow stays- admittedly, it does make me feel kind of safer.”

Xena smiled, apparently very satisfied, and began loading the gear into the trunk. Gabrielle grabbed the luggage that wouldn’t fit and slid into the backseat, “Philadelphia International, please,” she said brightly just as Xena climbed into the vehicle beside her and shut the door. The cabbie nodded and started driving, and Gabrielle felt her heart begin to prickle with anxiety.

_I don’t know if I’m more nervous or excited- Ares is going to be out there, and I don’t know how to handle him. Xena might, but if his endgame is her death, then there’s nothing we can do._

A shiver coursed down her spine as she recalled the sight of Xena lying lifeless in her arms. She looked over at her soulmate for comfort and reached out for her hand, eliciting a sleepy smile from Xena.

 _Oh no,_ she almost laughed aloud, _I forgot that the medicine makes her drowsy- hopefully we’ll be on the plane within thirty minutes._

They arrived at the airport and paid the cab fare, hauling their luggage into the building and marching up to the counter.

“Two one-way to Madrid,” Xena said, fishing around in her pockets for cash, “coach.”

The woman at the register gave her a strange look as she sorted through the wad of bills for the right amount, and Gabrielle quickly improvised: “if only I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating a conspiracy theorist. The government is not trying to come for all your money, babe.”

Xena shot her a look and handed over the money to an amused cashier. They checked in their luggage and made it to the gate just in time, settling into their seats near the middle of the plane.

The moment she sat down, Gabrielle noticed Xena’s head begin to nod and pulled her close so that her head rested on her shoulder. A satisfied hum left Xena’s lips as the flight attendant began talking into the loudspeaker. _Everything’s moving so fast; it almost doesn’t seem real._

Another small noise from Xena prevented Gabrielle from worrying any longer as she nuzzled her slightly-damp hair. Closing her eyes, she sighed and focused only on her soulmate curled up beside her until she finally drifted off into much-needed sleep.

Xena opened her eyes groggily and sat up from her position on Gabrielle’s shoulder. Almost instantly, a sharp pain throbbed in her neck and she winced silently. _I should know better than to fall asleep like that._ As a matter of fact, she couldn’t remember falling asleep at all.

_Those pills are something else… how long have we been in the air?_

Glancing over at Gabrielle to confirm that she was still asleep, she checked her watch. _About six-thirty. If we left at eleven, that’s almost the full eight hours… and it should be around noon in Spain._

The lighting on the airplane was dim at best, and the windows didn’t do much to allow in any natural sunshine. The blue-grey carpet and equally-neutral-tone seats made the atmosphere dull, even as flight attendants who smiled too widely for Xena’s taste paced the aisle cheerfully.

 _There’s nothing cheerful about them,_ she remarked silently to herself when she noticed that none of the attendants’ smiles ever reached their eyes. It was a touch unsettling, the false mask of amity, and it made her quickly and suspiciously scan the faces of the other passengers.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught an elderly woman staring back at her, and narrowed her eyes, but ultimately determined that she was no threat. The flight attendant passed, and Xena lowered her guard. She hadn’t remembered seeing any flight attendants when they boarded the plane, but chalked it up to her painkillers, and she now internally admonished herself for essentially leaving Gabrielle unguarded.

 _Well, not completely unguarded,_ she smirked, recalling the quick work she’d made of Damon at the fighting arena, _she can take care of herself… but I_ do _feel better when she lets me do it for her._

In need of a little vibrancy, a break from the dull greys and dishonesty that she felt surrounded her, Xena sighed and looked over at her soulmate sleeping peacefully. For a moment, the sight of her had a calming effect; Xena found that she could lose herself in the light that seemed to radiate from her being, but that light grew more and more subdued as worries clouded Xena’s mind.

_She looks so innocent. Pure… And yet, I know that every moment she’s awake, she becomes less so. Because of me. Am I doing the right thing bringing her here? Should I have left her at home last night while I fought? How long before she understands who I am, the things I’ve done- in this life and lives past?_

The answer to her second question materialized immediately; if she had left Gabrielle at home, she might not have gotten paid at all unless she’d gone along with Damon’s twisted fantasy. Regardless of the moral aspect of the decision, the blonde had undeniably played an instrumental role in getting them on their journey- however, the answers to the other two questions were more elusive.

Without the medicine to make her thinking fuzzy, or a fight to distract her, Xena plunged into contemplation of all the mistakes she’d made, all the possible ways that she could have wronged her soulmate in so short a time.

_I just took her and left. I didn’t tell anyone, not her parents, not her sister, not my mother, not my coach, nobody- excepting Professor Ma and Naima- but it’s not like they can do much good for us now._

A wave of guilt washed over Xena as she remembered the circumstances under which Gabrielle had last seen her family. _Circumstances that were all my fault. If they didn’t like me taking her to lunch, I doubt they’d appreciate me whisking her across the Atlantic without so much as a warning._

Thoughts of her own family intermingled with the thoughts of Gabrielle’s and a crushing pain gripped her heart. _If we die, they won’t know why. They won’t ever understand._

Her fingers itched to pull out her mobile and call her mother right away, but she was uncertain whether the ensuing conversation would start with a calm explanation of their predicament or a sudden torrent of emotion. _Besides, you can’t make a phone call on a plane- and would she even believe me anyway?_

A war waged silently inside Xena’s mind as she was torn between sparing her mother the burden of knowledge or enlightening her with the truth. _There’s no sense in lying or withholding information,_ she concluded, _if we die, she’ll piece it together in time, and if we live… I’ll have some serious explaining to do._

Beneath the surface, she harboured secret hopes that Gabrielle, being the smooth talker, would be able to do the explaining for her, or at least feed her lines that would work against Cyrene’s naturally skeptical nature. _Even if she doesn’t believe me, if we don’t make it home, I want her to know why… and while we’re at it, I think that at least Lilla deserves a call._

As if on cue, Gabrielle stirred slightly, stealing Xena’s attention instantly as she shifted in her seat and let out a sound halfway between a whimper and a sigh. All thoughts of guilt and future obligations vanished temporarily as Xena moved closer to her again, feeling the innate pull within herself to ensure that the other half of her soul was cared for, even on a level as simple as a secure place to rest her head.

Slouching in her seat so that she could guide Gabrielle’s head to rest more comfortably on her shoulder, and smoothing her blonde bangs out with a gentle stroke, Xena gingerly planted a kiss on her forehead and inhaled her comforting scent. Smiling contentedly, Gabrielle fell back into a deep sleep, and Xena redirected her eyes to look out the window. She could see the country beneath her, buildings and roads and occasionally a river or lake, but she mostly watched the clouds roll by, nearly laughing out loud at how ironically cheery the sunny day was.

 _At least it’ll be warm,_ she thought, _Gabrielle’ll like that._

A wistful smile made its way across Xena’s lips as she allowed herself to fantasize for a moment about what it would be like to be with her soulmate in summertime, picturing long days spent hiking, relaxing, or enjoying the ocean. _And even longer nights in bed, with no classes to get to in the morning and nothing like this to weigh on our minds…_

Catching herself planning ahead, she blinked and banished the thoughts from her mind; she couldn’t afford to think about that, not yet. _Not while I can’t be sure if we’ll live to see the new year._

Gabrielle’s hand moved from her lap onto Xena’s thigh, and the brunette placed her own hand over it. Part of her wished it could always be like this: Gabrielle, asleep and at peace, with Xena watching over her. That way, she was protected. Safe from all evil.

_Safe from what I could do to her soul awake… But then, if she stayed asleep forever, she wouldn’t know the joys of life either- or of love. She’d never experience any of the good that she deserves. The good I can only hope I can give her._

What Xena wouldn’t give to see those green eyes right then. She knew that her soulmate was unlikely to wake up until they actually landed, and by then, the calm would have evaporated. Her heart filled with the longing to wake Gabrielle, to steal a moment with her before the impending chaos began.

 _No,_ she sighed, _let her sleep. She may not get much after we land- we’ve still got to get to Greece from here._

“Xena?”

Xena looked down immediately to see Gabrielle’s eyes flutter open as she squinted against the plane’s light that must have seemed considerable compared to the shade behind her eyelids.

“Yes, love?”

“Are we there yet?”

A soft chuckle escaped Xena’s lips as she smiled, “no, not yet. We should be landing in less than half an hour. Go back to sleep.”

“No,” Gabrielle murmured, flexing her fingers against Xena’s leg, “I had a dream that you needed me… I want to stay with you.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she gazed into the bright sea-foam of Gabrielle’s irises and whispered, “always.”

_Some dream._

Seemingly content with the answer she’d received, Gabrielle began tracing patterns on Xena’s leg with her index finger, forming designs that Xena paid close attention to but, try as she might, couldn’t identify. She was just preparing to ask Gabrielle what she was doing when the blonde spoke up first: “Does your leg still hurt?”

Taking a moment to focus on the pain level, or lack thereof, Xena decided. “Not anymore. A bit stiff, maybe, but that’s alright.”

“That’s good,” Gabrielle said, her voice still heavy with sleep, “I did it right, then.”

“Did what right?”

Yawning, Gabrielle answered, “taking care of you.”

“You sure did,” Xena answered, warmth spreading through her chest that turned into light laughter, “those pills did a number on me, though. I still don’t really remember getting on the plane. How incoherent was-”

A soft snore from beneath her chin cut Xena off, and she angled her head to get a better look at the blonde’s face. She’d fallen asleep again.

Xena blushed, making another sweep around the interior of the plane with her eyes in hopes that nobody had caught her talking to the air, and the coast seemed to be clear. _Well, it was nice while it lasted._

For a time, peace remained solidly in place, but not even fifteen minutes later, the flight attendant spoke gregariously over the PA system and informed the passengers that they’d be beginning the landing process soon, and instructed them to please fasten their seat belts.

“Gabrielle,” Xena whispered, kissing her forehead to wake her, “we’re landing.”

With a considerable amount of effort, the blonde sat up straight and Xena clicked her seat belt into place for her as she blinked slowly and stared ahead with a slightly haggard expression. _This_ was the newly-awoken Gabrielle that Xena was used to, not the serene, airy-voiced waif she’d experienced only minutes ago, and she knew that it’d be a little while before she gained complete motor control.

“Catch you in the middle of a sleep cycle?” Xena asked, trying not to laugh at her soulmate’s disoriented expression that quickly turned to a scowl.

“Shut up. You shouldn’t have let me fall back asleep.”

Raising a teasing eyebrow, Xena bantered back, “oh, I see: somehow it’s _my_ fault.”

“It is!” Gabrielle insisted before breaking into a grin, “you’re too comfortable.”

“That must be so hard for you.”

Intercepting the hand with which Gabrielle was attempting to swat her, Xena caught the eye of another one of the passengers on the plane. It was the elderly woman she’d noticed earlier, and a longer look provided Xena with the knowledge that she was perhaps in her sixties or seventies, and was now not-so-discreetly staring at the couple, a broad smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

Out of the corner of her eye, Xena detected a hint of movement and looked away, capturing Gabrielle’s other hand and rendering her helpless. Ignoring her girlfriend’s squirming, Xena contemplated the motives of the smiling woman.

She had never been someone that strangers smiled at; most of the time, she was given wary looks and a wide berth, undoubtedly the result of a demeanor in front of the public eye that exuded an air of animosity, or at least invulnerability. In order to stave off potential threats, she wore a mask, either of aggression or sheer stoicism, depending on which seemed the most likely to prove effective.

Taking a brief mental inventory, she suddenly became hyper-aware of her facial expressions, with eyebrows arched playfully, lips curled up at the ends in a smile, not a snarl, and eyes that certainly gave away her feelings towards her soulmate.

_It’s Gabrielle._

The answer dawned on her: already the blonde woman had changed her. She was losing some of her hard exterior, learning that it was alright to open up, to relax, and, yes, even to be caught playing in public. She was no longer a formidable stranger; she was an accommodating companion, a loving partner- and strangely enough, she was comfortable with that. In the back of her mind, she felt that it suited her, but closer to her frontal lobe, she was concerned about what the ramifications of a softer shell might be.

 _I wonder how recently people have been able to tell,_ she pondered, thinking back specifically to the man at the fight’s comment about “fucking dykes.” _He didn’t seem like he felt he could take advantage of me…_

That was her greatest concern: she was worried that if she didn’t discourage others’ intrusions without even trying, they would get too close- to her and Gabrielle.

_I am protecting both of us now._

Letting her mind drift back once again to the incident at the tournament, she analyzed her memory for any clues as to how potent her posture still was. _I could_ smell _the fear on him… As long as they’re afraid of me when I need them to be, I don’t care what people think._

“Okay, okay, I get it: you’re stronger than me; now, will you let go?”

Gabrielle’s voice brought Xena out of her reverie, and she instantly released her grip on her wrists. The blonde said something else, but Xena couldn’t hear it; she was still preoccupied with her sudden hyper-awareness of her body positioning and facial expression.

“Xena, are you listening to me?”

“Hm?”

“I asked you what you were thinking about.”

“Nothing. Just whether or not it’s a good idea to take any more of that medicine. I need to be alert from here on out, even more so than usual.”

“Yeah,” Gabrielle joked, “like you are right now. Are you sure you were the Warrior Princess and not Princess Leia? Because you seem to be spending quite a bit of time off in space.”

Just as Xena was preparing a hot retort, the flight attendant came over the intercom and instructed the passengers to begin disembarking. Turning away from Gabrielle’s amused and expectant raised eyebrow, Xena stood and gathered the few bags she’d brought with her onto the plane, and flexed the muscles in her stiff leg. _I’ll think of something later._

Stepping gingerly into the aisle, she felt Gabrielle press into her back and slip a hand onto her waist, preventing them from getting separated- not that it was of any real concern. The passengers ahead filed out slowly, so slowly that Xena started to feel like a horse at the gate, and looked over the heads of those shorter than her and around the shoulders of those taller, hoping she could gauge when she’d have her turn to move.

“Xena,” Gabrielle warned her sternly from behind, gripping her jacket to remind her that she wouldn’t appreciate being left in the dust.

Sighing, Xena tried to relax, but still ended up walking much more brusquely when space finally opened up for her to move into, dragging a mildly irritated Gabrielle behind her. Once she’d made it out of the gateway and into the terminal, she calmed considerably, slowing down to allow the blonde to catch her breath.

“Feel better?”

Xena shrugged, “I don’t like lines,” dodging the realisation that Gabrielle would inevitably come to someday. _But not today._

“No, you just like being at the _front_ of lines,” Gabrielle jabbed her in the ribs with her index finger to emphasize her point, and all Xena could do was smirk at her, deflecting the accusation flawlessly.

They entered the airport and wandered over towards the luggage carousel, collecting the remainder of their bags before finding a table to regroup.

Putting both her hands on the table, Gabrielle leaned forward. “So, now what? What’s your plan?”

“I don’t know yet. We’re still pretty far off from where we need to be- how long’s the drive from here to the mountain?”

“Let me check.” Gabrielle pulled out her phone and Xena watched, mesmerized, as her thumbs danced rapidly across the screen in a way she’d never learned how to replicate. The smoothness of Gabrielle’s actions was interrupted when she gasped, and blurted out loud, “more than thirty hours!”

Biting her lower lip and narrowing her eyes, Xena weighed the costs and benefits of making the trip by car. _If we rent a car, I can make the drive… but, by the same token, I can’t drive thirty hours straight. I’d go mad- and we’d end up on the road for too long, lose too much time._

“That’s not going to work.” She thought out loud, eliciting a side-eye from Gabrielle.

“Can we be a little more constructive here, Xena?”

Xena rested her elbow on the table and propped her chin up on her hand, “I didn’t mean it like that. We’d just have to stop more often than I’d like to, and pay for gas-”

“Speaking of which, we need to exchange US dollars for euros.”

“Right. We can do that later. For now… is there an airport near the mountain?”

She looked over at Gabrielle to find that her eyes were already turned back down towards her phone as she mumbled something about a walking encyclopedia. A few moments elapsed before she spoke up, “there’s a plane from here to Athens in three hours. I don’t know what we’d do until then, though.”

Licking her lips, Xena racked her brain, “let’s exchange for euros and buy the tickets. We can figure that out later.”

Already the wheels in her head were turning as they walked over towards the exchange desk and Gabrielle got different currency. _It’s nice to have someone else here to do the talking. And take a little of the weight off my shoulders… I should do something for her, something she’d like that we might never get to do again… What’s in Madrid?_

Gabrielle was now hurrying over towards the purchase desk, digging through the bag at her side for passports and euros. As Xena watched her attempt to buy tickets in broken Spanish and with expressive, overzealous hand gestures that one might use in a low-level language class, the thought clicked. _It’s not easy, but by no means impossible._

The blonde turned around with two tickets in her right hand, glowing with triumph, and a smirk worked its way across Xena’s face in response.

“What?” Gabrielle asked, “like you could do better!”

_That’s not important right now._

Her expression returned to its usual unreadable mask, prompting Gabrielle to continue.

“So, what do you plan on doing for the next three hours?”

“Don’t worry,” Xena reassured her, trying to keep her grin from resurfacing, “I’ve got an idea.”

Cocking her head to the side, Gabrielle feigned fear and skepticism, “you know, the last time you said that-“

Xena cut her off with a sharp tug on her wrist, strong enough to sweep her into motion, but gentle enough that it wouldn’t hurt. _At least, I hope it didn’t,_ she thought as Gabrielle exclaimed, “I’m not a rolling suitcase, you know!”

She rushed her girlfriend through the food court and towards the exit while lugging most of their bags, ignoring the slight protest from her right leg and pushing through the crowd and out the door before hailing a cab. In flawless Spanish, she informed the driver of their intended destination and asked him to hurry, eliciting a glare from a shocked Gabrielle.

“You didn’t tell me you spoke Spanish!”

Xena shrugged, trying not to laugh, “you never asked. Besides, you seemed like you had it covered.”

A snicker escaped Gabrielle’s lips before she regained her composure, trying unsuccessfully to look irritated. “So, where are we going?”

Shooting her soulmate a look, Xena replied, “you’ll see! Don’t you like surprises?”

“ _Your_ surprises usually involve some kind of intense physical exertion.”

“I thought you liked my intense physical exertion!”

“You know what I mean!”

Chuckling, Xena let a few moments of silence go by before saying earnestly,“I promise it’s not any kind of intense physical exertion- unless you’d like us to take a detour, in which case, I’m pretty sure there’s a park not far from here, and you know how Europeans aren’t exactly shy about se-”

An elbow to the ribs silenced her, and she looked over at Gabrielle’s fiercely blushing cheeks with a feeling of pride. _That’ll show you to try and spoil my surprises._

Xena stared out the window as silence fell over the cab for a few minutes, but it didn’t last long until, “is it a palace?”

She gave her soulmate a sidelong glance, “no.”

“How about a soccer game?”

“No.”

“A walking tour?”

“ _No._ ”

“The Eiffel Tower?”

“That’s in Paris and you know it.”

By the time they’d reached their destination, the guessing game had taken a turn for the worse, as Gabrielle offered: “Machu Picchu?”

Without answering, Xena put her hand over Gabrielle’s eyes, tossing the driver the appropriate amount of money and thanking him for the ride before grabbing their gear and leading the quietly protesting blonde out of the car. She walked her across a pure-white marble walkway and positioned her at a perfect vantage point to take in beautiful white columns and a regal, stately statue before removing her hand.

Her heart fluttering nervously, she watched as Gabrielle’s expression changed from irritation to confusion to shock until, finally, it settled upon delight. Xena’s lips turned up in a grin as Gabrielle turned to look at her, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

“ _Xena,_ ” she breathed, but couldn’t seem to find the words to say anything more.

Xena reached down and took her hand, warmth spreading across her chest at her apparent victory, “come on,” she said, “we’ve got a lot to see and not much time.”

Pride gleaming through her with every step, she walked up to the attendant at the front of the museum, who offered welcome to the Museo del Prado and gave her information about the ticket office, responding politely to her inquiries about where they could store their bags.

Gabrielle looked back and forth between the employee and Xena, clearly hoping that someone would start speaking English soon.

“He’s just telling us about ticket prices and storage options,” she said quietly to Gabrielle, who responded curiously, “oh, are you allowed to keep your bo-”

“ _Muchas gracias, señor; eso es todo,_ ” Xena cut her off and steered her into the entrance, whispering, “no, but if they don’t know it’s in there, they can’t do anything about it, can they?”

Rolling her eyes and laughing, Gabrielle teased, “you are going to get yourself into so much trouble one of these days, aren’t you?”

“Not if I’ve got you here to talk me out of it.”

They approached the front desk and purchased day tickets and a locker, with Xena begrudgingly taking care of the talking. _This language barrier thing’s gonna get old real fast._ She liked leaving Gabrielle in charge of the interpersonal interactions, but her lack of fluency was seriously interfering with that arrangement.

 _Maybe I’ll teach her Spanish,_ she half-joked to herself as she stuffed all their gear into a few lockers, _after all, we’ve got a_ long _trip ahead of us._

Satisfied with the tetris-like arrangement of all their items, she turned to Gabrielle with a small flourish of her hand, “this is all for you; where to first?”

“Um…” Gabrielle looked around at all the signs and at her pamphlet before reaching a decision, shrugging, “I feel like we _have_ to go see the collection of mythological gods.”

Letting out a chuckle, Xena raised an eyebrow as she wrapped her arm around her shoulders and led her towards the gallery, “I trust you’re using the word _mythological_ ironically?”

The response came in the form of a snort and a gentle jab in the ribs, and Xena feigned injury at the latter action. _I_ wish _the gods weren’t real,_ Xena sighed internally, her mind turning instantly to Aaron.

 _Ares,_ she reminded herself harshly, _I have to call him Ares. What he did to me was bad enough, but knowing that it wasn’t even within the realm of possibility for me to stop him…_

She swallowed hard the moment she remembered that the slimy, arrogant god still had a hold on Callie.

 _If we make it back from this alive,_ she made another promise to herself, _I have to help Callie. She doesn’t deserve to be subjugated to him._

“Xena, look.” Gabrielle’s words snapped Xena back into the present, and she did her best to follow the path of Gabrielle’s finger towards a painting on the wall.

A man posed with his elbow on his knee, clad only in a blue loincloth and a battle helmet, but the true focal point of his features was not his clearly muscular frame, but his massive mustache. Squinting, Xena read the plaque beneath the painting: _Mars. Speak of the devil._

Her chest heaved and stomach clenched as she struggled to hold back the cackle that fought to escape in her throat.

“Do you think Ares really had a mustache like that?” Gabrielle asked.

“Oh, most _definitely,_ ” Xena said, half-amused and half-bitter, “he’s always seemed to feel compelled to compensate for something.”

Gabrielle’s initial reaction was laughter, but a dark cloud soon descended on her face that did not go unnoticed by Xena.

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked carefully, and the blonde sighed.

“Just… you and Ares. It still gets to me, what he did to you… and I don’t even really know the truth- the whole truth, I mean.”

Averting her eyes and biting her lower lip, Xena weighed the consequences of telling Gabrielle the truth. _If we live, I’ll have to tell her someday…_ Her heart felt heavy at the thought of tarnishing the already-scuffed image her soulmate had of her, and she shuffled uncomfortably where she stood. _But why ruin what we have if we may not have it for much longer, anyway?_

Clearly aware of her girlfriend’s discomfort, Gabrielle traced her fingers gently down the length of Xena’s arm and clasped their hands together.

“No matter what you tell me, or don’t tell me, I will always love you, Xena. There’s nothing you can say or do that will make me love you any less.”

Xena gave Gabrielle a quick smile to settle her mind, then returned to staring blankly at the ground as the storm in her own head continued.

_I shouldn’t hide things from her. When we didn’t tell each other about all the strange feelings we were having, we lost valuable time, time that we could have spent trying to fix this mess with Alti. Then when we hid our dreams from each other… when I didn’t tell her about the last time I saw Ares…_

The vortex that ensued from telling lies and partial truths startled her, and she instantly decided that she had to start unravelling the web.

“You already know the story of how Lyceus died,” she began quietly, lowering her voice so that only Gabrielle could hear her, “and when I met Ares, he knew, too. But he didn’t seek me out until I was around sixteen. Mother couldn’t pay for my martial arts lessons and I was spending so much time on the soccer field trying to get into college that I couldn’t get a job to help support the family. And then, out of nowhere, this man appears. He said he remembered seeing me fight and thought that I was good, told me that he could give me lessons free of charge and set up opportunities for me to compete again, around my schedule.

My family was having a rough time. Toris was trying to go to college and money was tight in the first place, so I just figured it’d be the best course of action- the _responsible_ choice. I knew that Ares was older, maybe dangerous, but I was desperate. I knew that my mother wouldn’t take soccer from me to free up my time; it was going to be my ticket out, but it still didn’t pay the bills. In a way, I couldn’t have resisted his offer even if I wanted to.”

Stealing a glance at Gabrielle, Xena made sure that she was still paying attention. Finding nothing in the blonde’s expression but openness and empathy, she continued.

“It started off small. I would finish practice, Ares would call, name a time and a place, and I’d meet him. It was always just us, even from the beginning. For the first two or three months, it was just training. He didn’t set up any fights for me, and didn’t cross any boundaries. We sparred, he made me practice technique, I built up my strength- and he taught me how to hide the bruises. Then, after my first fight, everything changed.

He’d put me into a mix of mostly newcomers and a few experienced fighters, and I faced one of the latter bunch and won. Everyone was shocked, especially since I was the only woman they had at the time. Ares was ecstatic. I remember our first training session after that fight, when he got a little friendlier than normal- just a case of wandering hands that could have been mistaken for an accident- but then it kept happening. And whenever I won, he’d build me up, sing my praises like a religious zealot, and I started to think that I needed him. Nobody had ever been so singularly focused on me before, and it made me feel… special.”

Her voice nearly disappeared at the end of her statement and she bowed her head a moment to collect herself. _Come on, no turning back now. You’ve made it this far._

Gabrielle squeezed her hand gently, providing her with the last bit of encouragement that she needed.

“Then one night, I lost. In hindsight, he must have fixed the fight so that I would. I remember feeling… off, somehow; you know how he can make you feel unsteady. I was up against a man with _plenty_ of experience, and hard as I tried, I couldn’t beat him- keeping in mind I wasn’t nearly as tall or strong as I am now. Understandably, I was devastated. I thought I’d let my family down by failing to pick up a salary, but even more than that, I was upset at letting Ares down. He didn’t seem angry, though. He kept his voice smooth and words encouraging, and said that he wanted to take care of my wounds since I was still fairly new to the scene. We went back to his apartment- or at least an apartment he claimed was his- and he patched me up and gave me some medication. Somehow…” she closed her eyes and wrinkled her brow, trying to remember, “we ended up sleeping together. I’m not sure how…”

Pressing her thumb and index finger in the space between her eyebrows, she strained her mind once more. _I’ve been trying to remember for years- if I can remember thousands of years ago, why can’t I remember this?_

“It’s okay, Xena,” Gabrielle said, a slight quiver in her voice, “if you don’t remember or don’t want to tell me something, just skip it and keep going- whenever you’re ready.”

 _She’s taking this a lot better than I thought she would after the situation with the team… was it yesterday?_ The days had begun to blur together; everything was moving so quickly, and yet not quickly enough. _At the same time, part of me wishes that tomorrow would never come._

Clearing her head of extraneous thoughts, Xena steeled her resolve and plowed on through her story, determined to see it through to the end.

“Anyway, after that happened, I was afraid. I told myself that I was done fighting, done with him, and dedicated myself fully to the field. I stopped taking his calls, and it was around that time that Callie started to rise in the ranks. I… I didn’t know it until recently, but Ares was actually training Callie at the same time- on the field- he thought that if he could get her to outshine me, I’d come crawling back to him.”

“That didn’t work, though, did it?”

“No,” Xena laughed bitterly, “it didn’t. What _did_ work to send me back to him was nearly getting my ass kicked on the way home from practice one day. A couple of the guys had placed bets on me and lost, and they found me. Ares protected me from them. Just appeared out of nowhere and batted them off like it was nothing- of course, _now_ that makes sense, but _then,_ I thought he was my hero. I let my gratitude turn into obligation, and started believing that I needed him- no, not _believing_ exactly, more like…”

She grappled with herself, trying to find the right words until Gabrielle offered, “you convinced yourself that he was a necessity.”

“That’s more like it,” Xena said, grateful, “I connected him with success, power, safety, you name it. If he wanted my body, he could have it, just as long as I kept doing well in the fights and making money- ensuring that people were afraid of me, of hurting my family. It twisted me in more ways than one. It didn’t take long for me to know he didn’t love me- he was using me, so I started using him right back.

The… toxicity of what we had made me into someone I didn’t recognise, but I thought that I needed to be that someone to survive. I barely saw anyone but him throughout the rest of high school, aside from the girls on the team- but even they weren’t close to me- they were just my competition. Everything in life became a fight where I had to come out on top. He taught me to hate to survive, that being ruthless gets results. Then when I started coming here, things were better, but not by much. After a few months of sporadic… visits- he followed me, told me that he had moved close by.

By that time, I started getting fed up with him, thought he was weighing me down. So I slept around, just to make him angry enough that he’d leave me alone. That plan failed. If anything, it made him more relentless. We were in constant conflict, trapped in a cycle that I didn’t know how to break out of. In a way, it fueled me to compete more, kept my blood hot. Being in college was different, though. I had people who cared about me, as much as I didn’t want them to. They could see what was happening while everyone back home was blind.

Around the beginning of my junior year, Tereis and I got together, officially, at least. It was odd and foreign to me because it was so clear that she cared for me, in a way that Ares never had. I was awful to her, of course. She put up with so much…”

Wincing at the way she had treated the kindly forward who was now her friend, Xena felt the tendrils of shame stroking at the corners of her mind. _Should I tell her about everything I put Tereis through? It might scare her away, even if she knows that I would never do that to her… would I?_

She finally reached a conclusion, shaking her head, _no, I wouldn’t do that to Gabrielle. I’m a different person now. And she doesn’t need to know about all I did to Tereis; we’ve put it behind us, and Gabrielle doesn’t need to carry that weight._

Taking a deep breath, she continued.

“As soon as Ares found out, much later, he set out to sabotage us- but Tereis wouldn’t let him hurt me again. She understood why I was the way I was, and rather than release me back to him, she told me what he was doing to me. I didn’t want to believe her, not on the outside, but something in me knew she was right. Professor Ma invited me on a trip to China over the summer, to study historical sites and monuments and the like, and when I confided in her, she managed to change how I saw him- how I saw the world. When I came back, I was a different person, harder to use. And then I met you. You finished what Tereis and the Professor started, you… _saved_ me. Nobody else could have done it but you.”

She finally looked up at Gabrielle, who appeared shockingly calm and collected, still staring at the painting on the wall.

In an even tone, she made her response: “Thank you for sharing that with me, Xena. I know it wasn’t easy.”

_She hasn’t mentioned anything I said._

An uneasiness passed through Xena; Gabrielle was never that neutral on anything, and the calm, calculating demeanor wasn’t like her at all.

_I hope she hasn’t picked that up from me._

Something in the air still wasn’t quite right, and it made itself evident when Gabrielle spoke again, her voice tinged with a hint of jealousy.

“I think that your professor could have done it, though- saved you- I mean, you practically have her on speed dial and call her by her first name.”

“No, Gabrielle,” Xena said earnestly, turning to face her for the first time during their discussion and taking both her hands, “it had to be you. Tereis may have planted the seed and Professor Ma was there to water the earth around it, alter the landscape, but you’ve been the one to care for and protect what’s grown. Without you, I’d be lost. You’re the reason I’ve decided to stop fighting altogether.”

“What?” Gabrielle sounded shocked, and she blinked as if in disbelief, “when did you decide that?”

“Before we left for the tournament. I’m not the only person I’m taking care of anymore; my responsibility now is you. I don’t want you to live a life plagued by constant worry about me- we’re already doing that now- and if we survive this, I’ll have had my fill of battle for a lifetime. Besides… maybe I can channel that spirit into something else, something more constructive, for-”

“The greater good.” Gabrielle finished her sentence and then smiled, “something was telling me you were going to say that.”

She let go of Xena’s hands and wrapped her arms around her neck, murmuring, “I love you, Xena.”

Looking around left and right to ensure that no one was taking any particular interest in their interaction, Xena hugged her back, “I love you too, Gabrielle.”

For the first time since they left the States, hope fluttered in Xena’s heart. It started out as a cautious optimism, then flourished into a full-grown conviction, a lofty ideal armoured with determination and nourished by love.

 _We are not going to die,_ she decided, holding Gabrielle tighter and letting down her guard, _I am going to protect her and give her the life she deserves._

She pulled away slowly and looked deep into Gabrielle’s eyes, only acutely aware of other tourists’ stares.

“You know, Xena,” Gabrielle said, “you can be kind of poetic sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?” Xena laughed, raising an eyebrow, and Gabrielle nodded teasingly.

“Come on,” Xena said, slinging her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders, “we’ve got plenty more to see.”

Taking a few steps away from the painting of Mars, she let herself be distracted by a few other works of art, and found herself wondering how many of the likenesses of historical figures she might have known in her previous life. _Wonder how many I killed._

The pit of her stomach was made heavy once again by guilt, and she swallowed hard as the memories of innocent people dying at her hand flashed through her mind once more. _Gods, I hope that one day I can stop remembering-_

“So, would you care to enlighten me on how exactly you came to be fluent in Spanish?”

Xena chuckled absentmindedly, but when she looked over at her soulmate and saw nothing but seriousness on her face, blushed lightly.

“Well,” she began, “Spanish was mandatory in elementary and middle school. Then I took Latin all throughout high school and for the first two years of college. I had some space in my schedule last year and since I’d already taken Latin, Spanish came pretty easily to me, and it was even easier since I could recover what I’d learned before. I switched to French this year, though, so-”

“So how many languages do you speak, exactly?”

Furrowing her brow, Xena thought about the best response.

“Probably… since I speak Latin, I can at least get the basics of any Romance language, so that’s Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, and Romanian. Then I speak Greek, of course, and for archaeological purposes, I can read- but not necessarily speak- Hebrew and Chinese. Plus some very limited Arabic… and English, so… seven or eight, depending on the qualifications?”

She looked over at the blonde, who stared back at her in shock, “o- _kaaay._ Any other secret talents I should know about? Can you do the worm? Use the Force?”

An unusual amount of silence passed before Gabrielle completed her interrogation, emphasizing her last question with a sidelong glance: “Paint?”

Xena’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as she honed in on the change in Gabrielle’s tone.

“No,” she responded apprehensively before forcing herself to sound lighthearted again, “I can drive a stick shift, though.”

Gabrielle made a small sound of approval somewhere in the back of her throat, but it was coated with a thin layer of dissatisfaction.

_She’s fishing… she knows something… or she thinks she does._

The blonde began walking casually again, _too casually, if you ask me,_ and Xena followed her close behind, watching her like a hawk. Stopping in front of one of the many paintings of Venus and Adonis, she looked over her shoulder at Xena, “hey, you know the art museum they have on campus?”

“I know of it,” Xena responded, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Well, there’s this gorgeous painting of Aphrodite there that I absolutely love. It’s got all these pastel tones you don’t usually see in paintings of gods and the like, and the way the brushstrokes look on the canvas is just beautiful.”

“Mm-hm,” Xena grunted, trying not to make eye contact with her girlfriend as she pretended to study the painting in front of her.

“I can’t remember who painted it, though- it’s like one of those books that gets a ton of praise but nobody really knows who to thank for it because the author published as anonymous.”

Shrugging noncommittally, Xena inhaled through her teeth and murmured, “well, you know what they say: throughout history, _anonymous_ was usually a woman.”

“Do you think the same thing goes for art?”

“Probably. I don’t know.”

She could have sworn that she heard a huff of frustration escape Gabrielle’s lips before she wandered over towards a group of statues in the centre of the room.

“Xena, look- _another_ Venus!”

“Actually, that’s Athena.”

The words had left her mouth before she could stop them, and as soon as they were out in the air, she bit down on her tongue to prevent it from slipping again- but the damage had already been done.

A triumphant gleam shone in Gabrielle’s eyes as she spun around and pointed a finger at her soulmate, “ha! I gotcha! There’s almost nothing you love more than correcting people! You do know something about art!”

_Calm down. Think. There’s no chance she could’ve seen what I did. She can’t keep a secret for very long, and she hasn’t had time to visit the museum on campus since my painting’s been up. Unless…_

Xena shook her head, “of course I do,” she scoffed, “I’ve only been taking history classes since high school, and anthropology since freshman year. Besides, that’s a statue of a _Greek_ goddess. I study Greek language and literature. And she might have been a friend- you know- a _while_ ago.”

“Sure,” Gabrielle narrowed her eyes with scrutiny as Xena shifted beneath her gaze, a nervousness she wasn’t accustomed to accelerating her heartbeat.

 _She_ is _getting good at that._

“So, that’s really the extent of your artistic prowess? They don’t make you do sketches of artifacts you find when you go on expeditions to China and gods-know-where-else?”

“Only sometimes,” Xena answered evenly, “but I don’t really like doing it.”

“Why not?”

“Still life’s not really my thing.”

“Not one of your many skills?”

“Oh, I’m fine at it. I just prefer living people to pots and statues.”

Another spark ignited in Gabrielle’s eyes as Xena found herself tongue-tied yet again.

_I shouldn’t have said that._

A moment of silence crackling with excitement and anxiety passed until Gabrielle finally spoke.

“Xena, _please?_ Will you just admit that you did it?”

The brunette could see that she was going to lose, but was still not quite above taking the high road out; she at least wanted her girlfriend to say out loud what she’d uncovered.

_If she’s going to accuse me, she needs to make the accusation._

“Did what?”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and shoved her hand in her pocket, whipping out her cell phone and rapidly tapping and swiping her thumbs across the screen before shoving it in Xena’s face, “this painting. Of me.”

Xena took a deep breath in and out as she gazed at the evidence right in front of her and concentrated on keeping her tongue in check; _no more slip-ups._

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, giving her soulmate what she hoped was a look of shame, and wincing when she saw her eyebrow turned up in skepticism.

“You’re _sorry?_ ” Gabrielle echoed, and Xena was surprised to detect confusion in her voice instead of anger.

“Yes,” she responded, her own confusion making her statement sound more like a question, _isn’t that what she wanted me to say?_

“Why are you _sorry?_ ”

Turning her eyes downward, Xena answered, “because I did a sketch of you when you weren’t looking and then painted it and had it put up without your permission… I hoped if I made them redact my name from the piece, it wouldn’t be so bad, but-”

“Xena, I _love_ it!”

Cut off in the middle of her apology, Xena cocked her head to the side, unsure if she heard right. _She_ loves _it?_

“But I- I didn’t even ask if-”

The blonde’s eyes shone with adoration as she shook her head and half-chuckled in disbelief, “it’s absolutely beautiful, Xena. I wish you’d told me about it- not because you needed my _permission_ to paint it, but because I would’ve wanted to see it. Don’t you know how much it means to me to be able to see myself through your eyes? Get a glimpse of what you notice about me, what’s important to you?”

Xena blushed and met Gabrielle’s gaze, shrugging sheepishly, “guess I never thought about it that way before.”

“You do so much for me without even thinking about it…” Gabrielle trailed off, a grin plastered across her face.

“Yeah,” Xena joked, “imagine what I could do if I applied myself.”

Dodging the swat aimed at her shoulder and capturing her soulmate in an embrace, Xena shuffled forward, kissing the top of her head, “alright, enough with the twenty questions; we’ll need all the time we can get if you want to look at all the art and _think_ about it, too.”

Gabrielle rocked anxiously as the dial tone on her phone sounded, and then rang once… twice… three times…

Biting her lip, she took a glance over at Xena, who was pacing about ten feet away, phone to her ear, as well. A drip of sweat slid its way down Gabrielle’s back, and she was beginning to regret changing into her hiking flannel so early.

The air itself was a bit chilly, but the sun beating down from its peak in the sky had made it necessary for Xena to remove her jacket, and she had it slung over her shoulder as she took anxious steps back and forth along a small patch of grass alongside the road.

From a distance, Gabrielle was only able to hear snippets of her girlfriend’s conversation, and concentrated on those rather than face the possibility of yet another missed call: “no… no… yes… no… we tried that… I don’t know… please, just be safe… at the cabin for a while… she’s alright… I know… I hope so… I love you, too.”

She could have sworn that she heard Xena’s breath shaking as she pressed her thumb to end the call, and was preparing to go to her when her own phone stopped ringing, stealing away her attention as her heart quickened in hopes that her call had been answered. No such luck came her way, and the answering machine spoke in a painfully dull monotone as her heart sank. She fought back tears as she prepared what she was going to say, doing her best to keep her breathing even so as not to give away her emotional distress.

_Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. At the tone, please leave your message. Beep._

“Mom?” Her voice cracked instantly, and she took a deep breath to steady it before continuing. “It’s me… Gabrielle- I just wanted to tell you that I love you. And that I’m sorry about what happened with Father. And…”

She swallowed hard as she prepared to tell a half-truth. “Something’s happened, and it wasn’t safe for Xena and I to stay home. We’re okay right now, but after this, you probably won’t be able to reach me for a few days. I’m hoping that everything will turn out okay, but just in case it doesn’t, please, just know that I love you.”

At that moment, her voice started shaking again, and she felt Xena’s comforting arms around her waist and let herself melt into the embrace. “I left a message for Lilla, too, but… I knew that Father probably wouldn’t pick up, so could you please tell him that I love him for me?”

Xena put her chin on her shoulder, nudging her gently to remind her of the last thing they’d discussed while planning out their calls home.

“Oh,” Gabrielle added, squeezing Xena’s hand where it rested on her stomach, “and if you three could find a place to stay for a while that isn’t the house, it would make me feel a whole lot better. I’ll call you as soon as I can. Okay… I love you. Bye.” _Click._

A moment of silence passed, a moment of unbearable stillness. It was as if all the thoughts that had once filled her with anxiety and confusion vacated her mind, replaced with nothing but static that crowded out logic and emotion. Then the first sob snuck up on her like a thief in the dark before hitting her so hard that it made her chest heave and her legs buckle, and she soon felt herself supported only by Xena’s arms and crooning voice.

“Shhh,” the brunette whispered, lowering them both onto the ground where they’d pulled over beside the road and leaning against the rental car, “it’s going to be alright. I’ve got you.”

Burying her face in Xena’s chest and wrapping her arms around her shoulders, Gabrielle let herself feel the weight of the world on her shoulders again for the first time since the meeting in the Professor’s office, and it terrified her.

 _But there’s Xena,_ she thought each time she began to lose touch with herself. The gentle, soothing voice and stroking hand of her soulmate kept her anchored to the earth as she fought against the fear that had swollen in her chest during the flight from Madrid to Athens.

“I’m right here. I love you. I’ll always be by your side. I’m going to protect you. I promise. I’m right here. I love you…”

Xena’s affirmations of her love went on as she spoke them over and over again, almost as if she were reciting a rosary, and Gabrielle registered them only in the back of her mind as she was directing much of her attentions towards the tactile elements of Xena’s reassurance. She concentrated on the warmth of her skin, the wisps of hair that brushed against her cheeks, the softness of her chest that stood in stark contrast to the hard cords of muscle on her shoulders and back.

Gabrielle ran her thumbs over Xena’s shoulders to let her know that she was helping, then let her touch fall into the background so that she could focus on her words.

Apparently keen to Gabrielle’s improving condition, Xena placed a kiss on the top of her head and fell silent.

“Were you able to reach your family?” Gabrielle finally asked, blinking up through her tears to meet adoring sapphire eyes.

“Yes,” Xena answered evenly, in the same tone she had been using as a comforting device, “my brother didn’t pick up, but my mother answered.”

“Did you tell her the truth?”

“Yes… Did you?”

With a shaky exhale, Gabrielle shook her head no. “I couldn’t get ahold of Lilla or Mother, so I left them messages- and only told part of the truth.”

“That’s alright,” Xena said, drawing her soulmate even closer to her, “by the time we get back, I’m sure we’ll have come up with something convincing to tell them… and, who knows? Maybe my mother will believe me by then.”

Gabrielle laughed half-heartedly. _When did_ she _become the grand optimist? One second it’s accepting that we’re going to die on the mountain but going anyway, and the next it’s being absolutely certain that we’re going to make it home within the month. Aren’t_ I _supposed to be the one that stymies her dark side, not the other way around?_

“How can you be so sure we’ll survive, Xena?”

Her tone came out as bitter and accusatory, and she felt guilty for having sounded so demeaning when she was just trying to mask the fact that she was scared. Xena seemed to understand, though, as she held her even tighter and repeated simply, “because I love you and I’m going to protect you. We can do anything if we do it together.”

 _Well, that all sounds fine and good when you put it_ that _way._

“But how do you _know_ that?”

She looked up at the brunette’s face expectantly, as scorching blue eyes stared off into the space beyond the horizon.

_I hope you know how much I need this answer to count for something._

“Do you remember what you said to me before my fight with Gurkhan?” Xena said after a moment; and Gabrielle would have thought that she was talking to herself if not for her use of the second person.

“No,” she answered, her defeated tone eliciting another small squeeze from Xena’s arms.

“Well, I do. You told me that you were absolutely positive that I would win. You said you knew I wouldn’t lose with you there. This time, this fight, is no different than that one. We’re going to win because we have to. _I_ have to. For you.”

Gabrielle’s hand twitched on her shoulder, and Xena took it and pressed it to her lips, holding her gaze gently.

“You’re my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things I’m not capable of, it’s because of you. Don’t you know that by now? You make me want to be more than what I am. Transcend what I thought was possible for my soul. And I know that even if I don’t, you’ll still love me- it’s the most liberating thing in the world. You challenge me, you hold me accountable, you protect me, you heal me. The power that we’re supposed to have, the power to defeat Ares and Alti... don’t tell me you don’t know what it is, because you do.”

A thousand stars twinkled in Xena’s irises as Gabrielle saw her soul reflected in them, and she felt a surge of warmth and energy rise from somewhere deep in her chest, like it had been simmering quietly in a tea kettle until she removed the top. _She’s right._

“Love,” she said once, almost as if she were asking a question or testing how the word felt on her lips for the first time.

The ensuing sense of satisfaction that followed motivated her to repeat herself, this time with much more confidence, “it’s love, Xena.”

A grin slowly worked its way across Xena’s face as she breathed, “yeah. It is.”

Gabrielle looked down a moment. _It’s so simple. It’s the one thing that Ares and Alti don’t have and we do. They don’t understand it, so they can’t fight it. They can’t break our bond. It’s stronger than both of their powers combined. We’re stronger._

A poisonous thought bubbled up in the back of her mind, one that she had barely considered since they’d left the states, but now spilled with reckless abandon over her lips and into the air, leaving her tongue with its bitter aftertaste.

“I wish my parents could see that.”

She hadn’t meant to bring it up, hadn’t meant to complain about yet another facet of the life she’d chosen, but once it came out, there was no taking it back. An anger she didn’t know she had tugged at the pit of her stomach, and Xena let go of her, surprised, as she pulled violently at the grass around her legs.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” she went on, her voice inadvertently rising, “they won’t take my calls because I’m with you, won’t bother to try and reach out to say that they’re sorry, and they won’t even try to wrap their brains around the idea that there’s more to you and I than just…” She suddenly trailed off, unsure of how her parents really had their relationship framed in their minds.

_They seemed shocked enough, and Father tried to hit me, but we were gone before he could say anything- before anyone could have said anything. Of course, Father’s religious, so he has a fundamental objection to it, but that doesn’t go as deep as people think it does. What bothers him? Is it the sex? The idea that a woman can find fulfillment without the help of a man? Or is it just the unknown?_

Her mother’s thought process proved even more elusive.

_Mother didn’t speak out against us, but she didn’t defend us either. She wouldn’t take my calls, so she might be angry, but how do I know how much of that is real? She’s always done whatever she needed to to keep Father placated…_

“Just what?” Xena interjected, intruding on her train of thought.

_I was talking. Right._

She took a moment to remember where her lips had left off and her mind had taken over, then resumed. “I don’t know. We’re not ‘just’ _anything._ We’re everything, Xena. _You’re_ everything to me. You’re not just my girlfriend, or my best friend, or a quick roll in the hay. You’re my soulmate. You love me, and take good care of me, and I don’t understand how they can’t see that.”

The desperation in her voice tugged a few tears to the edges of Xena’s eyes, but the brunette kept them from slipping down her cheeks. She was quiet for a moment, thoughtfully stroking the backs of Gabrielle’s hands where they rested on the ground, then said, as if waxing philosophical, “I’ve never really understood it, myself, either- others’ inability to understand… Some people say it’s out of ignorance, or fear, but at the core of it, I don’t know how much it really matters where the hate comes from. I think if we just live our life the way we know we should, unashamed, they’ll learn to accept it, tolerate it at the very least. They’ll see how much we love each other, and if our love’s powerful enough to destroy evil incarnate, I’m sure it can change a few minds here or there.”

Gabrielle took apart Xena’s words for a while, turning them over in her mind and trying to make sure she completely understood the point she was trying to make in her somewhat-fragmented eloquence. _She’s right._

Her muscles still tense from her brief outburst, Gabrielle let herself relax back into Xena’s embrace and rest her head on her shoulder, sighing when her arms closed back around her body. _That’s all we can really do. Just keep loving each other and holding out hope._

“Besides,” Xena continued, a hint of teasing in her voice, “if we can traverse half of Europe without losing any of our luggage, I’d say that’s proof that miracles can happen.”

Chuckling timidly, Gabrielle nodded, tightening her hands into fists on the back of Xena’s shirt.

 _What if we just stayed here forever?_ She allowed herself to entertain the thought a while, _we could just sit here in the grass and listen to the cars go by, watch the sun set, sleep under the stars…_

Taking a deep breath, she dismissed the idea almost as quickly as it came, _Alti’d just find us and kill us, anyway, or release Dahak and destroy the world with us in it. Then there’d be nothing for us to hold on to, no grass, no sunset- on the bright side, though, we’ll get to sleep under the stars tonight, anyway._

Gathering her nerves, she released the fabric of Xena’s shirt and pulled back slightly, “What are we waiting for?” she asked with more confidence, “let’s go find an ancient chakram.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Gabrielle accepted the hand that Xena extended to her and got to her feet before climbing back into the rental car. She buckled her seat belt as Xena entered the vehicle from the driver’s side, fiddling briefly with the mirrors as if she hadn’t already adjusted them three times.

_She’s just upset because I said we couldn’t rent a motorcycle- but I stand by my claim that there’s no way all of our gear would’ve fit on it._

“The real question is,” Xena said mock-ominously, “can we make it through a four and a half hour drive?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Gabrielle laughed, “we used to do this all the time, cross-country, and _before_ there were cars.”

“Oh, did we now?”

“Yeah- the other _we._ ”

Xena shrugged her shoulders and made a small scoffing noise as she passed the car in front of them, and Gabrielle cocked her head to the side. _She gets so odd when I talk about the old Xena and Gabrielle… the old us- I wonder why that is._

Not wanting to push the subject just yet, she redirected her attention out the window and watched as the city flew by, buildings old and new. The newer buildings and parts of the city looked almost out of place amongst the older architecture, which she found herself feeling much more privy to.

If she was being honest with herself, she’d half-hoped- and half-expected- to be able to recognise the streets of Athens in the same way she’d recognised the curves of Xena’s body, by the powers of an ancient intuition. But the roads and buildings were unfamiliar, except for the ones she’d seen in pictures or in the travel brochure that she’d picked up from the rental place, just in case they had some time to kill.

When, exactly, she thought that time would come, she wasn’t sure, but just the idea of being free from Ares, free from Alti was strong enough that she had hope.

The car hummed quietly all around her, the engine making noises that she hadn’t heard for weeks. She’d gotten so used to Argo that any vaguely foreign clattering drew her attention or made her jump. The experience was completely different from riding the motorcycle behind Xena, too; the wind didn’t whip her hair in twenty different directions at once, nor did it roar so loudly in her ears that she could hardly hear the answers to questions she always asked while en route to their destination.

 _Even with the engine stuff, I guess overall it’s much more peaceful this way. More low-stress and low-maintenance… except…_ She inched her hand over towards Xena’s and pried it off of the wheel, holding it gently over the console.

The only flaw with car travel was the frustrating lack of body contact with her soulmate.

_I can find ways to fix that, though._

Xena’s features seemed to brighten once their fingers were laced together; and not once did she try to pull her hand away to get a better grip on the wheel.

 _This is better. More natural._ She _seems so natural like this._

It occurred to her that she hadn’t picked up a map from the rental station, and neither did Xena. Still, though, the brunette kept driving, unwavering and unfettered by traffic patterns. _Does she know where we’re going? Does she remember something that I can’t? Or is it just in her instincts?_

After about the standard fifteen minutes, Gabrielle’s thoughts got away from her, and she began to get restless. Looking up at her girlfriend, who still had her eyes fixed intently and contentedly on the road, she licked her lips and broke the silence.

“Hey, Xena?”

“Hm?”

“You like travelling, don’t you?”

Without breaking her gaze at the road, the brunette answered tentatively, and with another question, “what makes you say that?”

Fighting down the butterflies in her stomach, she arranged her thoughts into coherent sentences in her mind that immediately fell apart as soon as she opened her mouth, the words tumbling out much faster than she’d intended, “well, you had all this camping gear and you knew exactly what we’d need and everything you didn’t have you knew exactly where and how to buy and you mentioned that you went abroad to China with your professor and enjoyed it and you didn’t hesitate when we realized that we had to come here and you didn’t blink an eye when I said we could only get as far as Madrid from home and just had faith that we’d work it out and you look so calm just staring out the front window of this car and-”

“Gabrielle!” there was just a hint of laughter in Xena’s voice as she cut her off, “yes, I like to travel. I didn’t get to all that much when I was younger, since Mother didn’t make much money, and I’ve always felt kind of stuck everywhere I’ve lived because of it, so I like to get away for a while every so often. Is that the answer you needed?”

_Well, it’s part one._

Taking a deep breath, the blonde said in a quiet and subdued tone, “I was just wondering if- after we get through with all this- if we could come back. See Greece, I mean all of it, not just the Athens airport for an hour and the road and the mountain. It just seems like it’s such a big part of our lives, of our souls, that it would be wrong not to experience it to the fullest.”

Xena’s eyes remained fixed on the road, but Gabrielle detected just the slightest flicker of light in her eyes that indicated that she was thinking about it.

“Yes,” she finally said, and Gabrielle snorted out loud at the simplicity of her answer.

“Yes?” she echoed incredulously, “I give you all that, and all you’ve got to say is ‘yes’?”

Shrugging her shoulders and clearly fighting the grin that was threatening to overtake her features, Xena said, “yes.”

Gabrielle swatted her arm, “you’re the worst, you know that?”

“Love you too.”

With that, Xena finally stole a glance at Gabrielle, smirking playfully, and the blonde smiled in kind before they both turned their heads back towards the windshield. A few more minutes passed, and then, much to Gabrielle’s surprise, Xena spoke up.

“Gabrielle?”

 _It’s a miracle! We’re on the road and she starts a conversation!_  
  
She was preparing to comment on Xena’s uncharacteristic inspiration to speak, but, afraid it would only make her fall silent again, thought better of it.

“Yes?”

“I _do_ think that we should come back here, for the same reasons you do, it’s just… strange for me, knowing that I was who I was. At the same time I know I’m connected to this place, I feel as though I’ve never been a part of it. It doesn’t feel like home- not the way it should, not like it does with you- And…” she trailed off, and Gabrielle knew to wait and let her finish.

“What little I was able to remember about who I was, outside of everything about you, makes me think that perhaps I left this place worse off than it was before- I mean, _Warrior Princess_ is a pretty ambivalent title, a double-edged sword- and all of the memories I could recall of my life before I met you were…”

She paused again and her voice fell to a whisper as she confessed, “I did some terrible things, Gabrielle.”

 _So that’s it,_ Gabrielle concluded, _she doesn’t like to talk about our past life because she doesn’t think she was good in it._

“But you were able to fight the darkness in you, Xena,” Gabrielle replied, “you remember what Prof- Lao Ma- said: you _helped_ people. You sacrificed for others. You made them feel safe, and worthy, and important. There’s nothing you could have done that could possibly have outweighed the person that you were- the person that you _are_ \- on the inside. And if you don’t believe that that’s enough, just remember that you and I are connected, two halves of the same whole, so either my soul’s darker than you thought, or yours is much, much lighter.”

“And which do you think it is?”

“Frankly,” Gabrielle said, her voice taking on a confident and authoritative tone that she wasn’t quite used to but was certainly growing on her, “it doesn’t matter to me either way. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have _you_ any other way.”

“Still, I can’t help thinking that I owe a debt to the world- who knows what I may have done that I can’t even remember?”

A flash of clarity entered Gabrielle’s mind, accompanied with a searing heartache that was just barely impossible to place.

“You’ve paid for your past already,” she said without hesitation, the words coming from somewhere that was beyond her control or understanding, “your soul’s only obligation now- and forever- is to me. And I’ll be damned if I don’t make it enjoyable for you to fulfill it.”

The purity of essence gone, Gabrielle shook her head to reorient herself and flinched at the glaring honesty of her own words before relaxing again. Xena smiled uncharacteristically shyly and leaned over, planting a kiss on Gabrielle’s head while flicking her eyes back and forth between the road and her soulmate’s face, “what would I do without you?”

Hoping it wasn’t too soon to lighten the mood, Gabrielle stretched, arching her back and joking, “I don’t know, based on the data you’re agonizing over, probably raze cities and stuff.”

With one many-skilled hand, Xena adeptly reached over and undid the top button of Gabrielle’s flannel, murmuring, “keep that up and I’ll be sure to _raze_ something.”

_Oh really?_

As she restored her shirt to its former modesty, she made a mental note to continue messing with her girlfriend later.

_Now that I think about it, she’s bound to have some pent-up energy after all the flying and driving we’ve been doing, and since she’s still got one more day of “taking it easy” before we can really get moving…_

Even as she tried to relax, she found something holding her back. Something in Xena’s words coupled with a long-held worry kept eating away at the back of her mind until she finally called timidly.

“Xena?”

“Gabrielle.”

“Do you know where you’re going?”

The silence that followed made Gabrielle uneasy.

 _Okay, Xena. This should be a simple answer. Yes or no. Either way, we can deal with it._ Please _don’t be one of those people who’s too stubborn to ask for directions._

“Sort of.”

_Great. She has no clue. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. We can just pull over and-_

“I don’t need directions, Gabrielle.”

Exhaling incredulously, the blonde said, “what do you _mean_ you don’t need directions? You basically just told me that we’ve been driving around Greece blind for hours.”

 _We are_ so _pulling over-_

“No, it’s not like that. I can feel it. The chakram. It’s like it’s calling me to it, like it wants to be found.”

“So what you’re telling me is that we’re relying on some kind of ancient, invisible GPS to get us to your chakram?”

“Pretty much. Besides, it’s not like any map we could’ve bought in the city would’ve had it labelled like a treasure map.”

“How do you know it’s a good instinct? How can you tell it’s not Ares or Alti trying to throw us off track?”

“Because it’s the same feeling I had when I first found you.”

The intensity of Xena’s voice made Gabrielle forget the next question she had in line for her, and when she turned her head to meet ice blue eyes, she awaited the rest of the explanation anxiously.

“I couldn’t hear those boys giving you a hard time in the parking lot, and I could barely see any of you. I wasn’t even paying attention. All I knew was that I felt this weight in my chest all of a sudden, this sense that something was wrong. I turned and all of you were just silhouettes, but I could _feel_ you. At first I was afraid, but then I knew what I had to do. I had to protect you. I don’t know that I even aimed when I kicked that soccer ball, it just happened. And then when I went looking for you again in the English Department building-”

“Wait a minute,” Gabrielle interrupted, unable to let that particular statement go unacknowledged, “you were _looking_ for me that day?”

“Gabrielle, I haven’t had a class in that building for almost a year. I just had a feeling that that was where you’d be. I wanted to see you again- I _had_ to see you again.”

Raising an eyebrow, Gabrielle asked skeptically, “and that first night I spent at your place- did you plan that, too?”

Blushing fiercely and looking away, Xena answered, “by the gods, no. I don’t know what I was more afraid of, you agreeing to stay or you turning me down. I didn’t want to scare you.”

Chuckling to herself, Gabrielle remembered how awkward Xena had seemed offering her the couch. _Oh, you thought you were so smooth and collected doing that._

“You know what?” She said, laughing even harder as Xena asked “what?” with a pitiful anxiety, “I already trusted you pretty implicitly from the beginning, but it was when I saw the sheer _terror_ in your eyes as you were suggesting I stay with you that I knew my instincts were right.”

Xena’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson as she muttered something unintelligible in response, and Gabrielle grinned widely at her embarrassment.

“Do you want to go back to being quiet now?” She asked cheekily, and Xena nodded fiercely, pathetically whining “yes,” and looking up at her with pleading blue eyes.

Squeezing her hand in reassurance, Gabrielle smiled one more time just to watch her soulmate grow even more sheepish, then turned her head to look out the window again.

Almost an hour and a half passed in silence after Xena gave in and allowed Gabrielle to put the radio on, but when they stopped to put gas in the car, the brunette disappeared, and then returned from the convenience store with a CD in hand. Wordlessly, she tossed it to Gabrielle, who just barely managed to catch it and examine the cover.

“Fleetwood Mac’s Greatest Hits?” she raised a questioning eyebrow.

_She can’t be serious. And how did she find a Fleetwood Mac CD in a Greek convenience store?_

Xena gave her a blank look, completely deadpanning, “it’s good road-trip music.”

Still taken aback, Gabrielle opened her mouth to speak, but found no words. _Good… road trip music?_

“What?” Xena asked, knitting her eyebrows together.

“Nothing, nothing,” Gabrielle stammered, “I just never had you pinned as someone who liked-“

Narrowing her eyes, Xena stated deeply, “I _love_ Stevie Nicks.”

 _Of course she does._ Gabrielle bit her lip as she tried not to laugh at the seriousness of Xena’s expression. _Xena: Warrior Princess, Xena: The Destroyer, Xena: Stevie Nicks Fangirl. Go figure._

Still fighting back laughter, Gabrielle wrapped an arm around the brunette’s waist and stood on her tiptoes to kiss her cheek, “learn something new every day, I guess.”

She climbed into the passenger seat of the car and put her seat belt on, grappling with the packaging of the CD as Xena started the vehicle and drove on. _God forbid I be able to actually_ open _the thing._

“Xena, will you do it?”

“Can’t. And I’m driving.”

“What, you don’t have CD-opening in your arsenal of many skills?”

“No; I don’t have _fingernails._ ”

Gabrielle opened her mouth to retort, but found herself at a loss for quips when she caught Xena’s sly sideways leer.

“Fair enough.”

When she finally got the plastic off and picked away at all the seals, she watched Xena out of the corner of her eye as the first notes of the first song floated through the speakers and into the vehicle. A small smile that made Gabrielle’s heart race worked its way across Xena’s face, then subsided as she opened her mouth and started singing: _“Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night and wouldn’t you love to love her?”_

Gabrielle’s heart stopped and her mouth dropped open as she snapped her head all the way around to stare in awe at the source of the voice. She stared in disbelief as the usual smooth, rich alto of Xena’s voice took new shape and soared beautifully through the air.

 _By the gods, Xena’s singing. I didn’t know Xena could sing- especially not like_ that _!_

Xena looked over at her without missing a beat, beaming and singing at the same time.

_And she knows all the words._

The full-bodied and steady tone of Xena’s voice didn’t quite match up with the more feathery timbre exhibited on the album, but complemented it nonetheless, creating an aura of both mystery and calm. Butterflies flitted around more frantically in Gabrielle’s stomach the longer Xena sang, and she was so captivated that she forgot to breathe.

 _She’s holding back,_ she realised after a time, a startling warmth building in her chest and spreading to set fire to her skin, _First her weird internal homing device, then the initial Stevie Nicks surprise, and now this._

She wanted to know just how powerful Xena’s voice could be, how many other facets of it, and of _her_ she hadn’t experienced yet.

_What else has she not thought to tell me about? Is she secretly good at impressions? Can she sew a dress? Breathe fire?_

Much to Gabrielle’s dismay, the song came to an end, halting her train of thought, and Xena fell silent once more, gazing out the front window as if nothing had happened. Leaning forward slightly to detect a hint of an expression, Gabrielle searched Xena’s face, but found nothing.

“Um, Xena?” she said innocently after a moment’s pause.

“Yes?”

“When, exactly, were you planning on telling me that you could sing like that?”

“Like what?”

Exhaling sharply in disbelief, Gabrielle said with a bit more force, “like an _angel!_ You can’t honestly tell me that you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

Xena shrugged and turned a shade redder than usual, “I don’t know. I’ve never really sung in front of anyone before, not since I was a child.”

“Are you serious?”

Another shrug. “I only sing when I feel moved- that’s not very often, and when it happens, I’m always alone- at least, I was before… you know.”

Xena didn’t need to finish her sentence for Gabrielle to draw her conclusions: _Before I met you._

“I can’t believe I’ve never heard you sing before,” Gabrielle chuckled, shaking her head, and Xena grinned sheepishly. A thought occurred to the blonde, and she cocked her head inquisitively, musing, “what made you feel moved just now? And don’t say Stevie Nicks!”

Chuckling, Xena responded, “it’s not Stevie Nicks.”

Gabrielle thought she heard her grumble “this time”, but didn’t pursue that particular line of inquiry; she wasn’t quite ready to open that can of worms just yet.

“So what was it?” She turned to gauge Xena’s response, and watched as she shifted in her seat and repositioned her hands on the wheel before stating in a quiet voice, “I don’t know… something about the way the sunlight was glinting off the road… the clear sky… you. It’s all so familiar and calming and yet… it’s like I’m experiencing it for the first time.”

Her brow furrowed and she stared pensively ahead before shrugging and relaxing, “whatever. I don’t know.”

Gabrielle shook her head, “you know, Xena, you’re always doing that- backing out of your own feelings like they don’t matter.”

Laughing, Xena passed the car in front of her and then turned to look at the blonde, “Gabrielle, most people don’t care how I feel about sunshine.”

“Well, I do,” she responded eagerly, feeling as though she was on the cusp of another breakthrough, “how _do_ you feel about it?”

Clearly trying to avoid the subject, Xena spoke as if she were talking to a child that had brought her a drawing, slowly and indulgently: “It’s very nice.”

_She’s got to give me more than that._

“Come on, Xena, please? Tell me how you feel about sunshine and I won’t ever tease you about Stevie Nicks again.”

“Again? Did you say something about Stevie earlier?”

Gabrielle made her best pleading eyes as Xena met her gaze with a mildly offended expression until she finally relented.

“Alright,” she sighed, “sunshine. I like sunshine. It’s always a good tool on the pitch; you want the side of the field that puts the sun in your opponents’ eyes, and it has a way of hitting your skin out there that just makes you feel alive. A freezing day is always curbed by a little sunshine, and it gets the ice off the roads quicker. You need it for plants to grow, and we need plants for food and for oxygen. It increases your levels of serotonin and vitamin D.

But my favourite thing about sunshine,” she said, “is how it reminds me of you. Your light. Your warmth. Not to mention the way it hits your hair when we go out in the mornings. It brings out the red as much as the gold and it makes your eyes even greener than they already are. Everything about you just shines and-”

Reaching over on an impulse, Gabrielle buried her fingers in the back of Xena’s hair and kissed her, feeling the car swerve slightly to the right as she did so, then reorient itself.

“Just because I love you,” she breathed, “and because you pulled it off so smoothly, I’m going to let that change in the subject pass.”

Smirking to herself, Xena looked back out the windshield and continued sitting in silence.

 _She notices everything about everything but can’t find anything poetic about it unless it’s got something to do with me- she was going on about the practical benefits of sunshine, for crying out loud!_ Gabrielle shook her head, _I’m sure she’d be an amazing writer if she could break out of her surface-level practicality on things._

She looked up at Xena again, preparing to engage her in conversation again, but when she saw how content she looked focusing on the road and listening to music, she thought better of it. _She’s opened up a lot today. I don’t want to wear her out. But I still want…_

“Xena, will you sing for me again?”

“What did I just tell you about the conditions I require to warrant singing?”

“Fine… When does Stevie have the lead again?”

“How would I know?” Xena responded, exasperated, before whispering to herself, “ _track six._ ”

Reaching over casually, Gabrielle fiddled with the controls on the dashboard until she figured out how to to skip ahead on the CD, then pried Xena’s right hand off of the steering wheel and laced their fingers together once more before using her free hand to roll down her window.

Xena shot her a small smile as she registered the notes of yet another song she couldn’t stop herself from singing, then the blonde let her mind go blank, knowing that Xena would be plenty alert for the both of them, and thinking of nothing but the feel of her soulmate’s hand in hers, the sound of her voice floating through the air, and the wind whipping through her hair.

Fewer and fewer buildings appeared along the side of the road, and she only half-noticed the longer and longer stretches of empty and wild land between each mark of civilization. Her mind completely wrote off the ever-growing shadow that loomed in front of her until it became too big to ignore, brought to forefront of her mind by the car stopping and Xena finally speaking again, two simple words that held so much meaning: “we’re here.”

The mountain stood so far above Xena that she had to squint to see the top. Even still, the clouds that settled around its peak obscured it from her vision, and she had only her internal map to tell her which way to go.

_Climb the mountain. Find the chakram. Figure it out from there._

She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door, relying on her ears to let her know that Gabrielle had done the same. _It’s all up to you now. She’s following_ your _lead on this one._

As much as she had been able to share the responsibilities of travel with her soulmate up to this point, she knew that it would have to change on the mountain. _She’s not as strong as you are, at least not physically, and she’s going to need your help._

Unlocking the trunk and pushing it open, Xena’s eyes drifted over to Gabrielle, who stood with her hip cocked and bottom lip caught between her teeth. Clearly, she had something to say.

“What is it?” Xena asked, trying to push down her fear that her soulmate had second-guessed the entire affair and wanted to back out.

“It’s nothing,” she answered, and Xena turned to face her, taking both her hands and looking her in the eyes.

“Gabrielle, I know it is not nothing. This isn’t me scolding you or accusing you, but it _is_ me telling you that from this moment on, we have to be completely honest with each other. The rest of our journey is going to be taxing, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I need you to tell me what is on your mind.”

Licking her lips quickly and furrowing her brow with seriousness, Gabrielle nodded once.

“Okay,” she said, squeezing Xena’s hands, “I promise. But this isn’t as big a deal as you’re making it out to be.”

Xena raised an eyebrow, hoping that it really was something simple, but wary of taking anything at face value.

“It’s just that,” Gabrielle began, pausing to shake her head quickly, “I don’t know that we should bring the tent. Or the bow. It just seems like they’re really big and take up a lot of space and will just make your pack heavier.”

Her protective instincts immediately taking over, Xena answered without thinking, “the bow stays.”

Only after the words had left her mouth did she realise what she was afraid of, as she saw Ares clearly in her mind, the way he’d looked in her dream before he had wiped Gabrielle and herself off the face of the earth without flinching, his teeth bared and gleaming, flashes of both murderous fury and harsh indifference competing for residence in his eyes.

She felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and looked down to see Gabrielle’s hand resting carefully on her arm as her face remained fixed in an expression of deep concern. As if she’d read her mind, Gabrielle ventured, “will it even make a difference? He _is_ a god, Xena.”

Xena reluctantly thought back to the last time she’d seen Ares in person, the way her fists had done nothing but shock him and her feet had only served to knock him off-balance. Taking a deep breath and hoping that her soulmate would find some comfort in a cautious optimism, she placed her hand over Gabrielle’s and shrugged, “it can’t hurt to try.”

“Okay,” Gabrielle sighed, “how about the tent?”

Grimacing slightly, Xena said with a warning tone, “it’s going to be cold up there. Snow and ice- you remember how it was in the dream.”

“It won’t be cold if I sleep with you,” the blonde offered, “and then we’d only need one sleeping bag.”

Even with the rising intonation at the end of her sentence, Xena could tell that Gabrielle did not consider this particular subject to be up for debate.

“Alright,” she sighed, digging into her pack and pulling out the tent, _I wish you’d thought of that_ before _we had to drag these things halfway across Europe, though._

She pulled the sleeping bag out of Gabrielle’s pack to lighten her load, then set everything else back in place. Carefully, she unzipped the case in which she kept her bow, and eased it out of the covering, running her fingers over the expertly polished and sanded wood.

 _It’s been a while since I used it,_ she mused, examining the string carefully, _but it still seems fine. Now if only my arrows will fly straight…_

Focusing her attention as hard as she could on the bow, she allowed her sixth sense to creep in through the back door of her mind until she felt the chakram’s energy all throughout her body like a tugging sensation somewhere in her chest. The pull of the chakram was distinctive, and she couldn’t help but seek it out whenever she could- it had to be a passive search, though; the moment she thought too hard about what it was that was calling to her or the direction in which it was beckoning, the faster it faded away.

_As long as I can concentrate on something else, I’ll know where to go._

“Ready?” Gabrielle’s voice cut into Xena’s ruminations, just as her heightened awareness subsided.

“Yeah,” Xena answered, slinging her pack on and adjusting the quiver of arrows so that it hung at her hip, out of the way of her pack but still easily within reach, “are you?”

Gabrielle nodded and gestured with one hand for her to lead the way, and Xena moved in the direction she felt was right.

 _It shouldn’t be too difficult today,_ she thought as she trekked along the steep incline at the foot of the mountain, _tomorrow, though…_

“Hey, Gabrielle, we’re not going to go very far tonight. It’s almost six and I don’t want to travel too long in the dark.”

“Okay,” the blonde responded, her footsteps in time with Xena’s, “so when do you want to stop?”

“I don’t know. Probably nine or so, at someplace where the ground’s more level. Then we can eat and go to sleep. I’d like to get the rest of the hiking done tomorrow, though; that way, we can get this over with as quickly as possible.”

Xena didn’t need to look back to know that her girlfriend had nodded, and just continued on, scanning the landscape around her. Trees blocked most of her lines of sight, making her feel ill at ease.

_If Ares is out here and he knows that we know he’s here, he may try something before we get anywhere near the top._

She could still feel the bite of the wind that she’d glimpsed through her dream and that she knew awaited her at the peak of her journey, and dreaded it. No amount of her and Gabrielle’s informed intervention could change the climate zone at the top of a mountain and she knew it.

A flutter of wings from the trees to her left startled her, and she whipped her head around over her shoulder just in time to see a black-winged bird rise above the leaves and out of her field of vision. At the same time that the trees felt sheltering, they seemed to conceal danger unseen, and the bird seemed a dark omen of what else might sneak up on her undetected. _Well, undetected until the last minute- but with Ares, I can’t afford to wait until the last minute._

As she had no need to concentrate on keeping to the clearly-defined foot path, she transferred her attentions to listening intently to every sound her ears could detect. The rustling of the leaves all around her had to be sorted into categories, wind and wildlife, threat and distraction.

_There’s a breeze blowing east… A hare somewhere to our left… bugs, nothing special… probably another one of those black birds… and Gabrielle._

Even though she knew she should be more concerned with the sounds that weren’t coming from her soulmate, she couldn’t help but hone in on the ones that were. The rhythmic stamping of her boots hitting the ground paired with the carefully controlled breaths she took formed a quiet symphony that only Xena could hear, and she took comfort in it, imagining what it would be like later, to lie in the sleeping bag with her underneath the stars and hear her heartbeat mix in with the breeze.

 _No,_ she chided herself, shaking her head free of daydreams, _we are_ not _on vacation, and I should keep a watch while she sleeps, not leave both of us vulnerable to attack._

Inhaling deeply at the prospect of the long night ahead of her, she inadvertently took in the scents of fir and cedar trees, as well as that peculiar smell distinctive to sunshine… _and Gabrielle. It always comes back to Gabrielle._

As she pondered the significance of that particular statement, Xena heard a change in the blonde’s breathing, and readied herself for the first interruption of the hike, holding her own breath in until the question came.

“Hey, Xena?”

_Called it._

“Yes?”

“Slow down a second?”

Sighing, Xena did her best to shorten her stride, and Gabrielle sped up a moment before taking her hand and falling in step with her pace.

“I don’t want to walk by myself,” she offered quickly as explanation, and Xena shot her a small smile and marched on, head facing forward and shoulders increasingly tense.

 _Alright. Now I have to be_ twice _as alert._

For once, Xena wished that Gabrielle wouldn’t hold her hand; she wanted to be ready for attack at any moment, and the time it took for the negotiations she’d have to undergo before the blonde released her so she could nock an arrow and fire could spell the difference between life and death.

_Or between being hunted like helpless game and fighting back. I should have bought another bow and taught her how to shoot so she could protect herself. Sure, she’s got those ancient reflexes, but they only came out in an emergency- and I doubt she knows how to sense an emergency before it’s already happening to her._

She felt a tug on her arm, “Xena, let’s play a game.”

Gabrielle’s words hit her like a smack to the head.

“What?” She said, looking down at her soulmate, unable to hide her shock. _We’re trying to save the world, and she wants to play a_ game _?_

The blonde laughed knowingly, “I swear, Xena, I can practically _hear_ you simmering in that head of yours. And I’m not letting go of your hand, no matter what you say, so stop worrying about everything and let’s put your mind to some more constructive use.”

Gabrielle’s emerald eyes were directed up at her in earnest, and she found her opposition to the idea wavering the longer she stared.

 _I can’t be_ that _easy to read,_ she thought briefly in disbelief, then questioned the validity of her statement when Gabrielle raised an eyebrow immediately afterwards, _at least not to everyone._

“Alright,” she said apprehensively, giving in, “what game do you have in mind? Because Punchbuggy’s out, and so’s Green Car, and I Spy is kind of limited, considering-”

“I’ve already considered all of that, Xena, and we’re not playing any of those… we’re playing Guess Who.”

Snorting, Xena shook her head, allowing her pride to seep through her stoicism for a moment, “Too easy. There’s no way you can stump me at Guess Who. Taken too many history classes, read the newspaper every day for years, _and_ been at school three years longer than you. I know everything about everyone.”

Gabrielle knocked her shoulder against Xena, surprising her with the amount of force she could summon up and retorting, “well, we won’t really know until we try, will we… But, uh, just to get a feel for your skill level, I’ll start with an easy one.”

Reorienting herself from the jarring she’d just received, Xena scoffed. _Easy. Right._

As much as she tried to hide it, the prospect of a challenge was causing a prickling sensation under her skin, and she tried her best to talk herself out of her growing excitement.

 _It’s just a stupid game, it doesn’t even mean anything,_ she told herself in the most convincing tone she could muster, _But even so,_ she mused before thoughtfulness gave way to sheer determination, _I’m going to_ destroy _her at it… Just to prove a point, though, not because I enjoy it…_

Much to her own dismay, her heart raced with the suspense, her pace quickened, and she was just about ready to jump out of her skin by the time she heard Gabrielle say, “okay, I’ve got it. Ask me anything.”

“Is it me?” She blurted out immediately.

The air was instantly pierced by Gabrielle’s resounding squeal of “no,” and there was nothing Xena could do to avoid the swat from her free hand; it was fueled by too much incredulity and she was already trapped.

“You can’t do that; it’s cheating! You have to start with broader generalizations and then you can get down to questions like that!”

Not wanting to pass up an opportunity to tease her girlfriend, Xena smirked, “it was me, wasn’t it? You’re trying to think of someone else now, just to cover it up.”

“No, it wasn't! And I am _not!_ ”

This time, Xena was ready for Gabrielle’s hand and caught it easily, wrestling it back to her side and laughing, “fine, fine! Just because we’re out in the middle of nowhere doesn’t mean you can go feral on me.”

Gabrielle bared her teeth in an attempt at a menacing glare that was ultimately made charming by her own amusement, and Xena responded with a growl of her own and a gentle kiss.

“Alright, I’ll play fair,” she crooned, avoiding the nip that Gabrielle was attempting to land on her bottom lip, “dead or alive?”

“Alive,” Gabrielle said, turning her head back to the road with a grin.

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

“Celebrity?”

“Yes.”

“Actress?”

“No.”

“Singer?”

“Nope.”

“Writer?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of?” Xena raised an eyebrow, “how can she be _kind of_ a writer?”

“She’s written an autobiography,” Gabrielle grinned, her face filled with mischief.

_A female celebrity who’s not any kind of an artist, but has an autobiography…_

“Don’t tell me she’s one of those reality TV stars?”

Sucking her teeth, Gabrielle cocked her head to the side, “not the kind of reality TV _you’re_ thinking of…”

“So she’s on TV?”

“Yes.”

“But she’s not an actress?”

“No.”

 _Not an actress,_ Xena blew air out through her nostrils as she concentrated, _reality TV…_

“Is she an athlete?!” Xena practically shouted as she gazed eagerly at Gabrielle, who nodded excitedly.

“Yes.”

“A soccer player?”

“Yes!”

“On _our_ national team?”

“ _Yes!_ ”

“Is it Alex Morgan?”

“No.”

“Damn it!”

Instantly disappointed, Xena took a moment to pout before rebuilding her morale.

“Is her number even or odd?”

“Odd.”

“Is it a number one through eleven?”

“Yes.”

“Is the number five or lower?”

“Yes.”

“Is it Hope Solo?”

“Yes!”

Unable to hide her glee at victory, Xena beamed widely at her girlfriend, tugging slightly on her hand, “okay, give me another.”

“No,” Gabrielle replied, gently admonishing, “that’s not how this works. I do one, you do one. It’s the rules.”

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah, “rules,” my butt. She just doesn’t have another idea yet._ She took a deep breath.

“Alright,” she purred, shooting Gabrielle a confident smirk, “I’ve got one.”

“Is it me?” Gabrielle asked, her voice thick with sarcasm.

“No, it’s not you.”

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

“Celebrity?”

“No.”

“Is it someone I’ll actually know or some obscure historical figure?”

“Both- well, sort of.”

Xena watched with a devilish grin as Gabrielle furrowed her brow in concentration.

“Was she someone we knew? The other we?”

Shrugging, Xena answered, “I don’t know. It’s possible; I mean, I can’t tell exactly when we were around back then.”

“But she was Greek, too, right?”

“Yes.”

The blonde went back to her animated pondering, and Xena felt a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she prepared to gloat over her victory and take her next turn.

“You give up?”

“No,” Gabrielle answered defensively, “shh, Xena; I’m thinking.”

Xena shrugged and swung her girlfriend’s hand slightly as they walked, silently growing more prideful with every passing moment that nobody spoke. _She’s not going to figure it out- she can’t even figure which questions to-_

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gabrielle’s face light up before she turned to Xena with a devilish grin.

“Sappho!” She shouted, poking Xena in the ribs, and the brunette’s mouth dropped open in dismay.

“What?” She said, her voice fraught with distress, “how could you have gotten that? You barely even asked me anything!”

Still grinning, Gabrielle replied, “because I know you, Xena. And I _know_ that you would have chosen some kind of Greek history thing, but I also know that you’re not a cheater. You play fair, which means that you would have picked someone that you knew I’d know- a writer. I ruled out Virgil, Sophocles, Heraclitus, Homer, and the like all on the basis of gender. And then I remembered you rifling through that Sappho book at the store the day after we first met and it was all too easy.”

_Impressive. Very impressive._

Snorting dejectedly, Xena relented, “Fine. I’ll admit it. You’re good at this… Now give me another.”

The game went on even after the sun sank well below the mountain peak, and only ceased when they stopped to make camp. Xena whistled quietly but happily as she worked, celebrating her just-barely-superior performance and trying not to disturb Gabrielle, whom she expected to be sleeping.

Kneeling but alert, Xena looked around one more time at the new landscape. The forest was a thing of the past, and now all that stretched out around them was green grass that seemed to go on endlessly, with the exception of a few bald spots like the one she’d selected as their refuge for the night. Only the path off to the side cut a clearly defining marker through the fields of green that were gradually turning to blue with the approaching moonlight.

_It’s more comfortable than the forest, but more vulnerable at the same time._

She tended the small fire that she’d built and watched over the soup she had suspended in a pot over the flames. Although the embers of the fire were modest, enclosed by a pit made of rocks chipped away from the mountainside over the years and sustained by twigs likely scattered around by birds, they served their purpose well.

Xena gazed over at her soulmate, the picture of exhaustion, and felt the sting of guilt as she blamed herself for her condition, followed by a sense of foreboding as she remembered how much farther they had to go.

Gabrielle rested a few feet away, laid out on her back atop the sleeping bag, with one arm draped over her eyes and the other folded haphazardly across her stomach. Her boots were lined up neatly on the ground near her feet, the legs of her pants were still rolled up above her ankles as if she were too tired to push them back down, and her flannel was buttoned even higher than it had been earlier in the day, a defence against the rapidly dropping temperature.

_I was going to try to get us to the top tomorrow, but if she can’t take it…_

She was torn.

 _If I push Gabrielle too hard, then she may get hurt or sick and it’ll be all my fault. But if I don’t, then Ares and Alti may have enough time to carry out their plans, and it’ll_ still _be my fault._

Sighing and giving the soup a final stir, she resolved to have an honest conversation with Gabrielle about how much travelling she could really handle in so short a time.

She took the pot off the fire and distributed its contents into two bowls, careful not to waste any by dripping it on the ground before joining her soulmate on the sleeping bag. Gabrielle stirred and sat up as the scent wafted over to her from Xena’s offering hand.

“Careful,” Xena cautioned as she steadied Gabrielle’s hands, which shook just slightly from the weight of the bowl, “it’s hot and you might want to wait.”

Gabrielle nodded defeatedly and set the bowl down beside her before lying back down just as Xena rested her own bowl on the sleeping bag in front of her, confident enough in her own grace that she wasn’t concerned about it spilling.

The chill that had appeared in the air once the sun went down was fast encroaching upon the more comfortable temperature of mid-day, and Xena saw Gabrielle shiver slightly against the wind. She slipped her hand under the bottom of Gabrielle’s shirt and rested it on her stomach, drawing soothing patterns on her skin with her thumb.

“Are you alright?” She whispered, and Gabrielle nodded sleepily.

“I’m okay, just tired and sore.”

“Any blisters?”

“Actually, no; the boots fit shockingly well. I didn’t even really have to break them in.”

Xena nodded, satisfied, and let her mind wander; although she’d rather pass out than admit it, she was tired, too. The feel of Gabrielle’s skin beneath her hand was comforting albeit cold, and she flinched in surprise as she felt the beginnings of muscles forming in her abdomen.

_Perhaps she’s just built that way… If a week or so of messing around on the soccer field and a day of hiking makes her all sinewy, who knows what she’d look like if she really tried to bulk up._

Resisting the urge to press harder to see if she would flex, Xena removed her hand from Gabrielle’s body, testing the temperature of her soup once more with her index finger before eating a spoonful of it.

 _Not too bad,_ she gave it an approving nod.

The blonde seemed to have picked up on the subtle indicator that it was safe to eat and mimicked her actions. The glimmer of light that appeared behind Gabrielle’s eyes as she ate encouraged Xena, who felt a wave of relief when she heard her tease, “I’m impressed; it’s not even a little bit burned.”

“Hey, I’m not a good cook, but I can handle soup,” Xena replied with mock defensiveness.

Gabrielle smiled and they resumed their meal in a silence broken only by the scraping of spoons against bowls and the ever-increasing volume of crickets and other evening-bugs chirping around them.

_It’s too quiet. Too calm._

Without Gabrielle’s game to distract her, Xena found herself on edge, impatiently awaiting some unknown crisis to arise so that she could have a clear objective to focus on rather than seemingly-aimless walking or waiting for the sun. Her fingers itched for her bow, or for some other source of power and defence, but nothing presented itself to her.

_Except the chakram._

As soon as she remembered that its power called to her, she felt its pull stronger than ever, then sighed in quiet frustration as it dropped off, evading her focus. Even so, the mere reminder that it was there served as a great comfort to her.

She slurped down the last of her soup, finishing first, as usual, and lay down to relax, resting her head on her own outstretched arm. Absentmindedly, she clawed at the grass near her hand, then stopped as she heard Gabrielle set her own empty bowl down.

A warm, electric feeling settled in Xena’s abdomen as she waited for Gabrielle to take her place in her arms, and regardless of the fact that she’d been expecting it, her heartbeat still quickened when she did.

“Hey,” the blonde whispered, nestling into her designated position.

“Hey.”

“You smell like fire.”

Xena chuckled, “you always say that.”

“More than usual, I mean.”

“Is that bad?”

“No. The opposite, actually.”

“Mm.”

Silence fell over the campsite once again, and Xena could have sworn that all of Greece could hear the sound of her breathing as she debated having a potentially difficult discussion. Taking a moment to carefully craft her sentences and bring them up to the level of Gabrielle’s elocution, Xena readied herself.

_I expect it’s now or never._

“I know I said that I wanted to get to the top tomorrow, and I don’t doubt the extent of your abilities or power of will in the slightest, but if you’re this tired, I don’t want to push you too hard and-”

“Shh, Xena,” Gabrielle interrupted, rolling over and giving Xena a perfect view of her deep green irises, “Don’t worry about me. I really am okay. We don’t have to slow down because of me; I can handle it… in fact, it almost feels like my body was _made_ for it. My legs feel so strong and my head’s been so clear since we got out here- and I’d be tired right now regardless of whether or not we’d been walking for hours, and the soreness will go away soon enough.”

Smiling softly and brushing Gabrielle’s hair out of her face, Xena’s heart filled with sympathy and gratitude as she whispered, “anything I can do?”

She could see the self-effacing negative response forming on her soulmate’s lips and raised an eyebrow to combat it with a preemptive strike, then watched as her face broke into a shy grin.

“Actually, a massage might help.”

“Anything for you,” Xena said, leaning in to give her girlfriend a kiss before pushing herself up from a prone position, “where does it hurt?”

“Ahh,” Gabrielle hesitated as she rolled onto her stomach in compliance, “how’s everywhere sound?”

“I can do that,” Xena mumbled quietly in determination, slinking down like a panther to start nearer to Gabrielle’s calves. She placed her hands precisely over Gabrielle’s ankles and ran them up and down the length of her legs, hoping the initial friction would provide some loosening heat to her muscles before she focused on kneading them into relaxation.

“Hold on,” Gabrielle murmured, shifting restlessly, “I can’t really feel much, just let me- one second…”

A sudden wave of panic overcame Xena as she watched Gabrielle disrobe, and she averted her eyes as she felt her cheeks flush before speaking in a wavering voice.

“Uh, Gabrielle, you know it’s only gonna get colder, right?”

“I know, but this’ll actually conserve heat later on if we both do it. I read about it in a book once.”

_We’re vulnerable enough as it is; this is completely ridiculous. And if Ares is out here, I don’t want him to see her like this._

“I don’t think this is such a-” Xena stopped short as Gabrielle stared into her, already completely nude and, as always, unyieldingly stubborn.

“I’ll _definitely_ be cold if you don’t get started,” the blonde challenged, lying back on her stomach and giving a few impatient taps of her fingers.

_Why do I even bother arguing?_

Returning reluctantly to her former position, Xena resumed her attentions to Gabrielle’s calves. Amidst all her reservations, she had to concede that she could better treat her aching thews now that she was able to feel precisely how tight they were.

_Oh yeah, that hurts._

She pressed her fingertips rhythmically against Gabrielle’s muscles, continuing on vigorously until Gabrielle stopped wincing, then soothed the mildly abused areas with gentle and languishing touches.

Moving as gingerly as possible so as not to jar her, Xena swung one leg over Gabrielle’s torso and settled back on her heels, straddling her hips to give herself a better angle on her back.

“Where’s it hurt the worst?” She asked in a whisper, tracing her fingers lazily over Gabrielle’s shoulder blades until the blonde took her hand and directed it to her lower spine.

“Right about there.”

“There,” Xena echoed, adjusting her hands to the optimal position.

She took a deep breath before she began to work out the knots that riddled her soulmate’s back, alternating between soothing caresses and more aggressive movements, trying desperately to ignore her own arousal as Gabrielle made soft murmurs of pleasure and encouragement.

Slowly, she studied her way around Gabrielle’s shoulders so that she knew every muscle, every knob and dip and curve, until finally, with a shaky breath, she planted a gentle kiss at the nape of her neck to signify the completion of her task.

“Xena,” Gabrielle moaned as the brunette accidentally stroked down her back, leaving a trail of chills in her wake.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised hastily before maneuvering herself and Gabrielle into the warm interior of the sleeping bag, _I didn’t mean to do that._

The blonde shot a pleading look at her and she fought against the compulsion to give in, to give her what she wanted, _to give her what_ I _want._

“Gabrielle, I can’t make love to you here,” she did her best to explain, “it’s too dangerous and it’s cold and…”

The more excuses she tried to make, the weaker her argument seemed to appear as Gabrielle propped herself up on one elbow and took her hand, her eyes boring into her skeptically until she finally cut herself off to ask, “what?”

Her face deadly serious, as she flexed and bent Xena’s fingers absentmindedly, Gabrielle spoke calmly: “I don’t want you to make love to me, Xena.”

 _Well, I wasn’t expecting_ that.

“What?” Xena asked again, this time surprised, and with a touch of hurt in her voice. Even if she didn’t feel secure enough to do it right then, she still harboured an acute satisfaction in knowing that the blonde wanted her.

Gabrielle exhaled deeply and released her hand, instead reaching out towards her face, and Xena accepted the soft strokes that she gave to her cheek as she spoke.

“Xena, ever since we’ve been out here, all you’ve been is tense. I can _feel_ it, not even in a ‘soulmates’ way, but in a socially-adept-human way. Every second we’re not talking and I’m not distracting you, you’re off somewhere far away- in the future, in the past, I don’t know- but I need you to be here with me. I need you to let go.”

Drawing back from her girlfriend’s touch skeptically, Xena raised an eyebrow. _Let go? This might be the_ worst _time and place for me to let go- there’s danger everywhere, and it’s my responsibility to-_

“Stop thinking so hard,” Gabrielle interrupted her quickly-derailing train of thought, resuming her gentle affections, “and just listen to me. I know that you want to take the weight of all this madness on your shoulders, and I know that you’re more experienced in all this hiking and building fires and evading capture. But you can’t control what may happen to us, and you don’t have to save the world all by yourself. All you can do is react in the way you feel is right to whatever may come our way. You’re not alone. I’m here with you, too. We’re partners, Xena; we share the load. We make each other stronger. For right now, though, I’m asking you to relax. Forget about all of that. Let me be in control for a while. Let go.”

Xena fought a silent war within herself, weighing Gabrielle’s happiness against her safety, trying to beat down the fears that she wouldn’t be able to protect her no matter what she did.

_It’s just not possible; it’s…_

Gabrielle resumed her affections to Xena’s skin, tracing her brow, her cheek, her jaw, and down to her chin before running her thumb across her upper lip and parting them slightly, causing her eyelashes to flutter and nearly coaxing her lids shut.

Gradually, Xena tried to ease the tension in her own shoulders, focusing in on Gabrielle’s face to keep herself calm and drawing the same patterns across it with her eyes until she let out a deep breath.

“That’s it,” Gabrielle whispered encouragingly, running her fingers through her raven tresses, “let me take care of you. Look around us, Xena. Look at the grass. Look at the stars. Listen to the breeze. Breathe in the air. It’s so clear up here, love. Don’t let that pass you by.”

Following her soulmate’s instructions, Xena tore her gaze away from the beauty in front of her to take in the beauty all around her. With Gabrielle’s help, she could see it.

Gasping softly, she gazed at the stars above her head, shimmering against their dark backdrop and working in tandem with the moon to illuminate the mountainside. The rush of the wind filled her ears, and she felt her lungs open up to accept it inside of her, the oxygen seeming somehow much lighter than it ever had before. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sheer majesty of it all, but the moment they appeared, she shut her eyelids to blink them away.

Before she could open her eyes again, she felt Gabrielle’s lips on her forehead, and shuddered deeply when she heard her breathe, “now let me make love to you.”

For a split second, Xena’s heartbeat raced out of control at the prospect of being so exposed, but Gabrielle’s lips on hers soon quelled her fears, and the universe slowed down around her. Time seemed an illusion as she lost herself in her soulmate’s touch, and eternity spread out before her as she felt herself melt into Gabrielle. The world could come to an end around them right then, and she wouldn’t notice. They’d outlast fate itself if it were to collapse in on them.

 _Nothing will happen to us tonight,_ she felt absolutely certain, _only we exist tonight. Everything else is exiled from reality. We are the only real thing in the universe._

Her breathing stalled and her blood flowed like molasses in her veins as Gabrielle pressed her lips to her collarbone, igniting a slow-burning flame beneath her skin. As she exhaled, she could have sworn that the wisps of visible air condensing from her lips in the sky were really the ashen fumes from her soul ablaze, and she began to ponder how it was possible for her to live through such extraordinary wonders, but her thoughts were silenced by Gabrielle’s hands on her bare breasts.

She didn’t know when the blonde had undressed her, didn’t know how she’d ended up on her back with Gabrielle perched over her, but all those details seemed but superfluous minutiae as she revelled in the pure ecstasy of skin on skin, pressure building up in her chest until she moaned out in the agony of love, “ _Gabrielle._ ”

“I’m here,” Gabrielle whispered, moving her hand to rest over Xena’s heart and pressing their lips together once more.

The rush brought forth the surge of lost recent memory, and her body suddenly tingled in the places Gabrielle had touched her as she carefully removed her clothing, peeling off one piece at a time as if she were unwrapping the last gift she’d ever receive.

Xena kissed her like she would die if their lips should part, capturing her head in her hands and holding it to her for what seemed like forever but fell short of long enough, and she whimpered with longing as Gabrielle pulled away to move her lips down to her chest.

Rolling her hips as Gabrielle began to suckle her breasts, Xena gripped her soulmate’s back with all her might until the blonde gingerly removed her hands and put them above her head on the ground.

“Gentle,” she whispered softly, “slow down, love. You’ve got me.”

_I’ve got you._

Unsure whether she had said it out loud or not, Xena echoed Gabrielle’s words to herself and felt a weight lift from her shoulders.

_You’re not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world._

A spark of sensation burst below Xena’s hips as she became aware of her soulmate’s fingers gently massaging her clit, calling wetness to pool at her surface. Taking a shuddering breath, Xena reached her own hand down towards Gabrielle’s button to give her the same euphoria, but found her fingers captured by the blonde’s free hand.

Gabrielle gently placed a kiss on Xena’s knuckles and held her hand clasped to her chest as she knelt over her, keeping her rhythm steady. Xena groaned as she felt Gabrielle dip her fingers into her wetness and spread it around her folds before returning to her clit, never faltering in her movements and returning effortlessly to the same tender pulse.

Her breathing growing increasingly laboured, Xena reached tentatively towards Gabrielle’s hair, her fingers longing for its softness but hesitant to betray her belief that her soulmate wasn’t leaving. As Gabrielle let out a quivering exhale of her own, Xena rested her hand at the crown of Gabrielle’s hair, stroking instead of gripping while the unwavering constancy of Gabrielle’s movements pushed her over the edge.

“Oh, _Gabrielle,_ ” Xena heard her voice break as she weakly called out her soulmate’s name and her vision went fuzzy, a freezing, tingling sensation overtaking her entire body for a few moments of bliss before her consciousness reconnected with her physical frame and brought her back to the sleeping bag beneath the stars.

Gabrielle’s fingers maintained their pace to cushion her fall from ecstasy, and Xena’s eyes opened slowly, directed skyward, taking in the still-twinkling celestial bodies hanging above her.

The blonde’s touch disappeared for an instant, then returned as her tongue replaced her digits on Xena’s sex, lovingly lapping up the nectar she’d brought to the surface. Xena angled her head downward to look on her soulmate, seeing her eyes shut in euphoria and her chest flushed with pleasure. _I need you._

Xena reached towards Gabrielle’s shoulders and guided her up her body until she lay on top of her, pulling the sleeping bag around them and never averting her eyes from the blonde’s soft features. As the landscape began to fill in the corners of Xena’s vision again, she closed her eyes, wanting only the image of her soulmate’s face to occupy her mind as she let herself succumb to her own exhaustion.

The last thing she felt was Gabrielle’s cheek settle into its place on her chest, and the gentle press of Gabrielle’s lips to her shoulder before she allowed herself to slip out of consciousness.

_Let go._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know that this chapter has been in the works for a long time, but it has been a whirlwind semester for me school-wise, and I've actually been on my own road trip for the past several days or else I would have had it up sooner (this Georgia peach is posting from Rhode Island right now, so it's been an adventure). I don't know how to express my gratitude for your patience, and for your continued support of me and my story. At this point, we're looking at a bit of a shortened Chapter Nine and then I've got a surprise for you in Chapter Ten, so be ready! Again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Ky
> 
> P.S. I know the title of this chapter is a Tegan and Sara song, but I'm a big gaymo, it seemed appropriate, and LY2D is coming out soon... wooo!!


	9. Wild Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xena can lucid dream, Gabrielle picks up a new skill, and the God of War likes to gamble, but not when there's a hand played that nobody expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! So, this chapter's going to be a little bit fraught with notes...  
> First of all, I have to start with a huge thank-you; I know these chapters take forever to come out, and I'll admit that there was a solid month I didn't work on this one because of finals, but I am back!  
> Second, I have to apologize that this chapter is so short. You probably expected more after such a long wait, but I'd had this one planned as being shorter for a long time and thought it'd be better to stick to my vision than to change it for the sake of a word count.  
> Third, I feel the need to give a little bit of a warning for this chapter. There are some spoilers for the end of the series, so if you still don't know what happens in Xena, a) congratulations, and b) you might want to be wary of section two of this chapter. Section three gets a little violent at the end, and I don't consider it to be that gory, but if that kind of thing bothers you, then this is your heads-up.  
> Last, I wanted to take a moment to say something about what happened in Orlando. The last week or so has been really rough on me, and I know a lot of you may be feeling the same way, so if anyone ever needs support or someone to talk to, feel free to engage me in the comments or send me a message on tumblr. I want you to know that I care very deeply about you, and hope that you and yours are safe and taken care of emotionally.  
> I'm gonna shut up now; see you on the other side!
> 
> -Ky

_“Xena,” a rugged, gravelly voice came from over Xena’s shoulder, somehow managing to be taunting and doting all at once. Xena looked confusedly left and right, but saw nothing but white space stretching out endlessly around her. The electric grip of panic threatened to overtake her, but instead she focused on keeping her breathing even and her heartbeat slow, and listened for the voice again._

_No voice came, and, for a moment, there was nothing, then amidst all the sensory deprivation, biting, sucking kisses were planted on Xena’s neck, and coarse caresses worked their way over her body, sparking her alarm enough that she hissed out, “what is this?”_

_She could smell something musky and acrid, tinged with a rusty coating like blood._  
  
“Open your eyes, Warrior Princess,” the voice husked, close enough that she could feel the vibrations on her jaw, forcing her brow to furrow. She thought her eyes were already open. 

_Apprehensively, she squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again, and found herself standing in a vibrant forest, wearing familiar brown-leather battle armour. The closer she studied the forest around her, the more suspicious she became of her surroundings; the plants seemed too green to be real, and shone with a glaze like plastic. The buzzing of bugs in the air sounded cartoonish and exaggerated, like a recording placed into a children’s movie._

_She looked behind her to find that the source of the voice had disappeared, and, alone, she stepped forward to pluck a leaf off of a nearby bush. It was hard, like rock, but crumbled in her palm when she closed her hand around it. While she was transfixed by the way the remaining green powder floated to the ground, the harsh touch returned to her body once more._

_She glanced down to the hands rubbing her hips and, recognising them immediately as different from the false environment she’d been placed into, didn’t need to think for more than an instant before swatting them away and instinctively reaching behind her back, drawing her sword and pointing it at a thick neck, just below a chiselled jaw._

_“Ares,” she snarled, her words coming out as metallic as her blade, “I should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to bear just standing by and waiting for us to come to you.”_

_Ares bared his teeth in a grin, chuckling, “us? Your little blonde chew toy isn’t here, Xena. The only_ us _right now is you and I.”_

_Xena glanced around briefly to confirm that what he said was true, and felt a moment’s relief when she saw that Gabrielle was outside of her dream, safe. Shortly afterward, though, she found herself wishing that Gabrielle was there; even though she wasn’t a fighter, her presence made Xena feel stronger._

_“Now, that’s no way to talk about the love of my life,” Xena said, her voice dangerously even, pressing her blade just hard enough against his throat to make a dent in his skin._

_She kept her eyes fixed unblinkingly on his face as he raised his hand, and with his index finger, lowered the point of her sword, a slightly discouraged expression flashing across his face, “you know, for a lovebird, you’re awfully aggressive. Relax. I just want to talk. For old times’ sake?”_

_Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Xena sheathed her weapon, then crossed her arms. She tracked the path of Ares’ gaze, following it through the air and down to her chest. Rolling her eyes, she willed herself to appear in her typical t-shirt, jeans, and brown leather jacket, “I didn’t wear that thing just so you could stare at me. Talk. And make it quick.”_

_Pacing back and forth, Ares clasped his hands behind his back, flexing his shoulders, “I’ve come to offer you a deal.”_

_Xena raised an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. He stopped pacing and stared at her, his eyes dark and intense, but still dulled by the indifference of immortality._

_“I want you, Xena. Come back to me. If you come back, I’ll break with Alti. Hell, I’ll destroy her myself. You wouldn’t have to lift a finger. I would be your slave. Anything in the world you wanted, I’d give you.”_

_Maintaining her cool exterior, Xena stared blankly at him._

_“Remember how good we were?” Ares asked, a hint of pleading in his voice, “remember how powerful you were with me? You could be that way again- we could be that way again,” he took a knee before her, “that way and more. Before, I couldn’t reveal that I was a god because I thought you’d be afraid of my power, but I was wrong. You’ve never been afraid, and now you could experience the real me. Xena, I’m begging you. I need you. You’ll always be the only one for me, across the centuries. Don’t you see how I keep coming back to you, even though I could have anyone I wanted? Couldn’t_ I _be your soulmate?”_

 _Until then, Xena had been able to maintain her composure at Ares’ pleas, write them off as pitiful, childish even. But with his final question, a spark of rage ignited in her chest. What he had been suggesting before was wrong, but now he’d gone too far, venturing into the realm of the sacrilegious, and Xena could have sworn she saw a glint of fear in his eyes before she rushed at him, pinning him to the ground and spitting, “don’t you_ dare _say that. It’s one thing for two souls to belong together, but it’s different for one to_ stalk _another throughout time. You’re_ worse _than Alti will ever be; she at least does me the courtesy of_ openly _trying to destroy me. But you…_ You _actually think that you’re trying to help.”_

_Still trembling with rage, she stood and released him with a shove._

_“I love you, Xena!” Ares shouted, standing up and stepping close to her, “I don’t want to hurt you! I’m just tired of waiting for you to come around to me… I bet if you gave me a chance, I could learn how to help you. You could teach me, make me better- better for everyone.”_

_Disgusted, Xena stepped back, away from him, and stared pointedly over her right shoulder, willing a cliff to appear where once there had been nothing but trees. Snapping her head back to look at the god of war, her eyes blazed with a sudden flame, “You want me to_ fix _you?”_

 _Ares shrugged, his lips pursed in a jealous pout, “Gabrielle did it for you.”_  
_In spite of herself, Xena let out a cruel laugh, unable to contain her amazement at his idea of reality._

 _“No,” Xena corrected him patronizingly, then continued with conviction, “Gabrielle_ loves _me. You don’t know what love is.”_

 _Unwilling to entertain any further discussion, she turned around, walking with outward confidence towards the cliff, hoping that not all of the movie_ Inception _was inaccurate._

_“Xena!” Ares growled, raising his hand towards her like he had in she and Gabrielle’s vision._

_She turned and stared defiantly at him, cocking her head towards him impatiently. His face contorted almost comically with contempt as he warned, “if you walk off that cliff, the deal’s off. I_ will _kill you on that mountain- but this time, I’ll start with your chew toy… it’s been too long since you had to watch her die.”_

_Feeling a sudden flash of anger, pain, and fear, Xena did her best to maintain her composure as she shrugged in Ares’ direction, coolly responding, “Even in death, Ares, I will never leave her.”_

_Trepidation clawed at her chest as she turned her back towards him, then she stretched her arms out and stared over the edge of the cliff. She couldn’t see the bottom, and could only make out a few details of the cliffside on the way down, and felt even warier of her escape route._

_Reminding herself that Ares wouldn’t let her go any other way, and that she had to get back to Gabrielle, she took a deep breath and jumped._

_Wind rushed past her body and through her hair, and as her stomach dropped, the world around her began to fall away, patches disappearing here and there, fading to blackness until her mind went blank._

_Consciousness took effect before she could generate an image for the bottom of the cliff._

Gabrielle awoke to the earth shaking beneath her. The ground was unstable, volatile, even; and the mountain was giving out where she lay, disoriented, undressed, and completely vulnerable.

Her heart raced as she came to the realisation that Xena’s fears the night before had been completely justified. This was how Ares planned to deal with she and Xena’s knowledge of his plans. He was going to attack them while they weren’t ready for him, while Xena was still asleep and she hardly qualified as awake. They were never going to get anywhere near the chakram, and Ares was going to bury them beneath the rubble of a centuries-old mountain right here and right now.

_And I spent all that time telling her to relax._

Her eyes flew open and all she could see was darkness. Blinking as quickly as she could, she searched for Xena, pawing at the ground around her but hitting nothing but trampled-down grass. Even after several seconds, her eyes failed to adjust, and she grew more frantic.

_I have to find her and warn her, we have to try to run… at the very least, I have to tell her I love her._

She focused on her other senses and was able to hear Xena breathing, her breaths coming so rapidly it was almost as though she was struggling to get air into her lungs.

As Gabrielle scrambled to ready her voice to call out to her, something struck her as odd about Xena’s breathing: There was more to it than a simple pant, a rumbling undercurrent that came straight up from Xena’s chest and molded the air into a richer, fuller sound.

_She’s… she’s laughing?_

Puzzled, Gabrielle heard Xena choke out, “are you awake now? I’ve been trying to get you up for five minutes.”

The words vibrated against Gabrielle’s chest, and she was finally able to get a handle on what was happening. She was lying on top of Xena, and Xena was laughing at her.

_By the gods, I thought we were going to die._

Slowly but surely, her heart rate returned to normal, and the fear that had paralyzed her senses before began to ebb. Without the threat of Ares and the end of the world looming so immediately over her mind, and with the added influence of all her senses adjusting to consciousness, she was able to recognise the unmistakeable feel of Xena’s skin beneath hers, soft and warm, but with hard knots of muscle close beneath the surface.

“Xena,” she mumbled, her voice coming out an ambivalent amalgamation of relief, exhaustion, and irritation at being woken up so early.

“Good morning, love,” Xena crooned, and Gabrielle felt the gentle press of lips to her forehead, and a strand of hair being tucked behind her ear.

“Morning…” Gabrielle mumbled, still burned out from her earlier panic, and lacking the capacity to express what she really wanted to say: _Why are you waking me up so soon? What time is it? We can’t have been asleep for more than a few hours. I thought you wanted to move only by daylight?_

She settled on “it’s dark,” and Xena indulgently agreed before responding, “I want to show you something.”

_If she’s trying to get back at me for waking her up for our first time, she couldn’t have picked a worse moment for it._

“It’s too early; show me later,” Gabrielle mumbled, putting her head back on her soulmate’s chest, then nuzzling into the comforting swell of her breasts and closing her eyes, tacking on, “I’m tired and I can’t see.”

“That’s probably because your eyes are closed.”

_If I ignore her, maybe we can go back to sleep._

Xena squirmed beneath her, and she groaned.

“Uh-uh, I’ve got to show you now; you’ll be able to see it. It’s important, I promise.”

_Important… you promise…_

With those words, Gabrielle resigned herself to consciousness, and propped herself up on her elbows so she could look into her soulmate’s eyes, “Okay. What’s so important?”

“Wait for it,” Xena whispered, kissing her and running her fingers through her hair, “just a little while longer.”

“Can I just keep my eyes closed until then?”

“No,” Xena said, “blink and you might miss it… or fall asleep again. Here,” she rolled onto her side, forcing Gabrielle to topple off of her, but still remain snugly tucked into the sleeping bag, “watch over there.”

Gabrielle’s eyes traced the length of Xena’s arm, following the direction of her pointer finger until she found herself staring at the sky. She took her soulmate’s arm and brought it back to its rightful place around her waist.

“Okay,” she said, “I’m watching, I promise.”

She heard a small sound of approval escape Xena’s lips, then snuggled in closer as she waited for whatever it was Xena wanted her to see. She could feel a slight breeze in the air, but was unaffected by it under the protection of her soulmate.

After a few minutes of anticipation, and regulation of heavy eyelids, she heard Xena whisper, “look.”

The darkness of night was just beginning to subside, and a slightly gentler shade of blue replaced the harsh blackness of the wilderness without the interference of city lights. Almost as quickly as the blue arrived, specks of pink peppered their way across the skyline, like salmon swimming upstream and to the heavens. As the blue and pink rose higher and higher, a brilliant orange broke over the horizon, dazzling with its beauty and steadfast in its colour until the first golden rays of the sun reached out to kiss the dawn and set the mountain ablaze with a magnificent glow.

Gabrielle gasped in awe, her mind scrambling to commit the scene to memory for later writing.

_First black, then blue- no; indigo- then pink, pink dancing with blue in that timeless, tireless ritual of the dawn, then orange… what’s a better way of saying “orange”? I’ll think of it later. For now, Xena…_

She tried to speak, tried to thank her soulmate for scaring the life out of her at zero-dark-thirty to watch the sunrise, but found herself at a loss for words.

_Some bard I must have been._

To her surprise, Xena spoke first. Her voice was just as rich as the sunlight, and smooth and warm like liquid gold that poured over her skin and left her glistening with radiance.

“Yesterday when you asked me, I couldn’t tell you completely honestly about how much I love sunshine because it’s meant next to nothing to me since I found you. Every single moment I spend with you is even more precious and wonderful than watching the sun rise like this. You’re the light of my life, Gabrielle, the light of my soul. You _are_ my sunshine. I’d be lost without you. I’d be cold and stagnant, without anyone to remind me of the beauty around me… and the beauty _within_ me. You give my life meaning and joy, and the only reason I have to care about sunrises is that they mark another day I get to spend with you. I love you, Gabrielle.”

Gabrielle’s words caught in her throat as she felt a tear run down her cheek.

_You have to say something, Gabrielle. Tell her you love her, just make it happen._

Against her will, her bottom lip started to tremble- _okay, it’s not working_ \- and she rolled over as quickly as she could.

The sunlight gleamed in Xena’s eyes, making them shimmer as the different shades of cyan danced with the reflection of orange, and Gabrielle swore she had never looked more beautiful than she did then, her hair in knots and face smudged with dirt and all.

“I love you, Xena,” she managed to whisper, faced with the other half of her soul, “and I’d be lost without you, too. It doesn’t matter where we go, or how far- when I’m with you, I’m _home._ I want it to be like that forever.”

“It will be, Gabrielle,” Xena breathed, holding her soulmate close, “it will be.”

Gabrielle snuggled into Xena’s embrace and breathed deeply, smelling the sun and the earth and the wind on Xena’s skin.

 _And fire,_ she remarked to herself with a silent chuckle, _always fire._

She didn’t know how much time had passed before Xena’s lips pressed against her jaw and whispered playfully in her ear, “wanna play a game?”

Pulling back, Gabrielle raised an eyebrow, “what kind of game?”

She watched as Xena lined up their palms, flexed her fingers, then threaded them through her own.

“A guessing game.”

“What are the rules?”

“Easier than yours.”

“Very funny. But go on.”

“Guess what I brought?”

Rolling her eyes and laughing, Gabrielle grinned at her girlfriend, “that’s some pretty broad criteria, Xena.”

She noted Xena’s challenging expression and narrowed her eyes, now determined to beat her at her own game, “fine. I get three guesses and then you have to tell me.”

Xena scoffed with mock incredulity, “there’s no guess limit! My game, my rules!”

Gabrielle met her cobalt gaze with one of equal intensity until she elicited, “and those sound like some pretty reasonable rules for me to adopt. I’m always open to change.”

_I’m getting pretty good at this staredown thing… or she just can’t say no to me._

Smiling adoringly, Gabrielle teased, “another one of your many skills?”, running her thumb over the back of Xena’s palm.

Xena shrugged, and Gabrielle set about thinking of the most likely things her girlfriend could have packed.

“Energy bars?”

“Yes, but that’s not what I was driving at.”

“Your soccer ball? Xena, you’re not going to make me do drills out here, are you?”

“Of course not,” Xena laughed, “here, I’ll give you a hint: I brought something for _you._ ”

Knowing that it wasn’t the right answer, but too exhausted and impatient to really try any longer, Gabrielle sighed, “my laptop.”

“Nope,” Xena said smugly, then paused for a moment until Gabrielle asked, exasperated, “okay, what? You said you’d tell me.”

Another drawn-out silence, and then: “Coffee.”

The answer took a moment to register, but as the thought of having her favourite beverage became more real, Gabrielle perked up instantly, “really? You brought me coffee?”

Xena nodded, looking proud of herself before dipping her head in humility, “it’s not the kind you usually get- I mean, I’m gonna have to be the one who makes it and I don’t have all the cream and sugar and whatever else you get- but I _did_ get the coffee itself from the café across the street. They sell the grounds in take-home packages if you ask nicely.”

_Xena asked for something nicely?_

Gabrielle shook her head, the corners of her lips turned up in a smile, and kissed her girlfriend, “have I told you that I love you? Because I love you.”

“You might have mentioned it,” Xena winked, then slipped out of the sleeping bag.

Without her soulmate to serve as a space heater, Gabrielle instantly felt the bite of the cold mountain air around her. She hadn’t realised how much of the warmth she had previously attributed to the sleeping bag had actually come from Xena, and she curled around herself to defend against even the gentlest breeze.

Her eyes followed her girlfriend as she made her way over to the backpacks of supplies, and noted the raised hairs on her arms, but found her otherwise unaffected by the temperature. She watched as Xena dressed, bundling up in a t-shirt, flannel, thick overcoat, spandex, and ski pants, paying close attention to how effectively she could bend her legs and how well her stitches had stayed in place.

_Well, they’re not falling out any more than they already were… Her trainer’s gonna kill her for not “taking it easy”... But she looks better. She’s not stiff or limping… or freezing._

“Hey, Xena?” Gabrielle called, burrowing further into the sleeping bag as another breeze floated over the campsite, “could you bring me some clothes?”

Even her eyes felt cold, and she shut them against the breeze until she felt a thud, and opened them to a pile of clothing resting on top of her, complete with thermal underwear, ski pants, a flannel, a heavy coat- and a t-shirt from Fleetwood Mac’s _On With the Show_ tour. She glanced up at Xena just in time to see her smug expression, and did her best not to laugh out loud at the not-so-subtle nature of the gesture as her girlfriend tended the embers of an infantile fire.

Trying to stay as submerged in the sleeping bag as possible while she wriggled into her clothes, Gabrielle could smell the coffee roasting over the fire, and quickly rushed over to supervise Xena’s cooking. She knelt over her girlfriend and smoothed down her raven hair, feeling mildly guilty that she wouldn’t have the time to work out all the knots and wash out all the grit until much later, when she at least had a brush handy.

_And we still have to make it back down… She’s taken the brunt of the work and the scouting; she has to feel worse than she’s letting on._

Gabrielle picked a leaf out of Xena’s hair and kissed the spot where it had once been, then sat down beside her and waited for the coffee to brew, soaking in the heat from the fire as well as from her soulmate.

“You look good,” Xena said quietly, her eyes not leaving the fire.

_I suppose it’s good that she’s so focused on not burning my coffee._

Nudging into her shoulder lightly, Gabrielle laughed, “I look like _you_. First we fall in love at first sight, then we move in together, now we’re dressing the same-”

“Hey, don’t start making baseless accusations until you’ve had your coffee,” Xena teased in the same even, affectionate tone, pouring the contents of the makeshift coffee pot into a plastic mug, “I wanna know that you’re thinking straight first.”

Gabrielle stopped talking and accepted the coffee with a wink, letting its heat warm her hands and waiting until it was cool enough to drink.

“Thank you,” she whispered, leaning her head on Xena’s shoulder and watching the flickering of the flames intently. Xena nodded wordlessly.

 _She can just_ stare _at fire for so long… I wonder what she sees._

An ember leapt from the fire with a _snap_ , and landed on the ground, where it smoldered for a few seconds before burning out. A few others launched skyward and disappeared, and Gabrielle kept her eyes fixed to the spot where they had vanished.

 _Maybe it’s just calming for her. It_ is _a little hypnotic._

“Drink up,” Xena’s voice cut into her thoughts, “we’ve got to get moving if we’re going to make it to the top before dark.”

Gabrielle sat up and touched the mug to her lips, trying to judge whether or not it was still too early to take a sip. As soon as she moved, Xena stood up and downed most of the dregs in the coffee pot before dumping the last few drops out. Hiding her silent laughter at the disgusted face her girlfriend made afterwards, Gabrielle drank deeply from her mug.

_Even the good part’s kind of gross without cream or sugar- I can only imagine what she just put into her mouth._

She watched, amused as Xena paced back and forth, methodically packing up the campsite, and snickered to herself every time she saw a shudder pass through the brunette’s usually-composed body until she picked up and ate an energy bar from her backpack.

When she’d finally finished her coffee, Gabrielle handed her girlfriend the empty mug in order to avoid tampering with her mystifying on-the-trail organizational system, then dug into her own pack for an energy bar. Grabbing the first one she could find, she slung her backpack over her shoulders and tightened the straps, making sure Xena had done the same.

_I’d rather be walking than standing around wearing this thing._

Xena stood with her back to the sun, her eyes closed and her hands clasped loosely around her bow. Gabrielle took a bite of her breakfast as she watched Xena’s lip twitch and hands nock an arrow before blue eyes opened again with a confident, “it’s that way.”

She let Xena take the lead and walked a few steps behind her, not trying to hold her hand this time. Somehow, it seemed as though the bow was now an essential rather than a simple precaution, and she didn’t want to interrupt Xena’s ability to react quickly.

_Besides, the least I can do is watch her back._

Letting her eyes scan the territory around her, she tried to do what her soulmate did so well, watching and listening for danger around them.

_What would Xena keep track of? The breeze is blowing in from the east… and that way has to be east because that’s where the sun came up… there’s something small to the west, probably a bird…_

Her inner monologue went on as she did her best to keep quiet, feeling as though conversation would somehow interfere with Xena’s ability to sense the chakram or detect any potential threats. With a smirk, she congratulated herself, _she_ does _seem calmer, though… I guess my plan last night worked._

Although they held a weapon, Xena’s arms were more relaxed, and her shoulders less stiff. Even her gait seemed to flow from her legs more easily as they hiked the gently sloping terrain that seemed to extend forever. _Or maybe she’s just not in pain anymore. The path isn’t so bad here._

The mountain beneath her seemed to be home to smaller hills and valleys of its own, and she noticed that Xena’s posture changed whenever they passed into lower ground. The brunette’s shoulders would hunch, her fingers tensing on the bow, and her steps growing more cautious. _She doesn’t like the idea of potential threats coming at us from above._

Gabrielle made a mental note to watch the sky, as well. After a time, she felt that she was able to identify potential sources of danger on her own. When Xena’s head turned, so did her own, and not just to follow, but because she had heard the noise, too. The only thing she couldn’t do was classify the sound. A small sound was definitely non-threatening, but the larger ones concerned her, and it was those larger noises that sent her eyes shooting back to Xena’s head to see if she narrowed her eyes and raised her bow for a moment or simply turned back ahead.

_Can she tell what all the sounds are, or is she really just as clueless as I am?_

Devising a plan to figure it out, Gabrielle listened for a sizeable enough noise that would be believable for her to have heard, _I don’t want her to know I’m working on this until I’ve really got it down._

A quiet, but clearly audible _thump_ emanated from the grass to her left, and she turned her head to the side and asked, “Xena, what was that?”

“A hare,” Xena responded without hesitation, and Gabrielle blinked in shock.

“Really?” she breathed, “how can you be sure?”

Xena shrugged and aimed her bow in the direction from which the sound had come, and Gabrielle almost didn’t realise what was happening in time to stop the arrow from flying.

“Wait a second!” she exclaimed, putting her hands up and pushing the bow off to the side, “I believe you; you don’t have to prove it like _that!_ ”

Her heart still raced as Xena brought the bowstring slowly back to its resting state, and she let out a chuckle of nervous relief, “I meant how can you distinguish it from any other sound?”

Xena shrugged, “hares go _thump._ ”

“ _Thump_?” Gabrielle echoed, confused.

“Different animals make different sounds,” Xena explained as she started moving again, and Gabrielle followed, “hares go _thump_ ; birds go _tic_ , _whoosh_ , or any of the sounds they make when they sing; bugs usually go _buzz_ , but even when they don’t, you can tell a bug is a bug; deer go _clip_ ; and people… people go _stamp_.”

Gabrielle stared at her, her mouth slightly open in disbelief.

 _She talks like_ everybody _knows that._

“You’re making that up,” she said, furrowing her brow, “how do you really do it?”

“Just like I told you,” Xena said, then enthusiastically added, “come on, just try it- it’ll be like yesterday’s game; you listen and tell me what you think you hear, and I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

Grinning at the hopeful tone at the end of Xena’s suggestion, Gabrielle shook her head.

 _This coming from the same woman who tried to pretend she didn’t_ like _my game, at first._

“Okay,” she said, “I’ll play- you have to be quiet, though.”

“Not a problem,” the answer came sarcastically, and Gabrielle shushed her, focusing on each sound she could pick up. Listening in on Xena’s footsteps, she found that they did sound like _stamp,_ as did her own.

 _Okay,_ she breathed as softly as she could while keeping up with Xena’s brisk pace, _animals make different sounds…_

She wanted to close her eyes to block out her other senses, but the terrain was slowly getting more treacherous, and she knew that she would regret it if she tried. The breeze was still blowing east, making a _whoosh_ sound that she noticed had gotten louder since the last time she paid attention to it.

 _But it’s not the_ whoosh _that birds are supposed to make, apparently._

Her footsteps fell in time with Xena’s, and as the sounds they made combined into one and the wind subsided, everything around her seemed much clearer. Somewhere to her left, she heard a quiet _thump._

“Hare?” she reacted immediately, and Xena nodded and smiled over her shoulder.

“Good.”

Proud of herself, Gabrielle listened again. The rhythm of she and Xena’s footfalls was regular enough that she could ignore it now, selectively dealing out her attentions only to the frequencies that mattered: the mysterious and the barely-audible. Soon, she heard something different, on her right side this time.

Cocking her head to the side in thought, she ventured, “bird?”

“Yep,” Xena answered, not turning around this time.

_That wasn’t what I was expecting._

She debated internally on whether or not she should question Xena’s authority on the matter, then decided that there wasn’t really anything that could go wrong.

 _Either she’ll agree with me and be impressed or I’ll admit I’m wrong and we can move on… for_ her _sake._

“Xena, I don’t think birds go _whoosh._ ”

“What are you talking about?” her soulmate responded, sounding almost offended, “anything can go _whoosh_ if it’s moving fast enough; it’s just not the primary sound for most of the shuffling-around the wildlife do.”

Gabrielle sucked in a breath, “I don’t know, Xena. That sound was at least a _fwish_.”

“ _Fwish_?”

“Yeah. Like a _flap_ and a _whoosh_ put together, but still different from a _fwoosh_.”

“What do you think goes _fwoosh_?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying-” she stopped as soon as she heard Xena laughing.

It wasn’t her usual laugh, a low chuckle or a sarcastic snort, but instead seemed like more of a giggle. _That sound wasn’t included in her explanations._

Xena’s laugh came rapid-fire and low, then slowly raised in pitch as it grew more and more out of control, into a wild cackle.

Bewildered, Gabrielle couldn’t help but laugh along both at her and with her, content for the moment not to know why. Silently, she made a pledge to herself to try and draw that sound out of her soulmate at every chance she got.

“What’s so funny?” she finally asked when she caught her breath.

“I don’t know,” Xena sputtered, clearly losing the fight against her own amusement, “it’s just-”

She erupted into another fit of giggles, and Gabrielle joined her again, shaking her head. With tears brimming at the corners of her eyes, Xena choked out, between the occasional chuckle, “we sound… completely _ridiculous_ … arguing over made-up words like it’s the biggest problem we have…”

Understanding her point, Gabrielle grinned at her and insisted confidently, “isn’t it, though? We’re going to beat Ares and then we’re going to beat Alti and after it’s all said and done, we’ll still be in disagreement over what sound birds make when they rustle-”

She fell silent mid-sentence and looked at Xena in shock as her girlfriend returned the expression.

“ _Rustle_ ,” they said in unison with a nod, and fell back into silence. But now that the silence had been broken once, Gabrielle longed for the lessened tension brought on by conversation again, and started one of her own.

_Xena can decide how much she wants to participate. I just can’t do quiet anymore._

“You know, I actually used to be pretty good at archery.”

“Yeah?”

Satisfied at Xena’s apparent inclination to respond, Gabrielle elaborated with more confidence, “I used to go to this sleepaway camp for three weeks every summer back in Texas, and my sister, too. They had a lake and a rock wall and horseback riding and archery and I bet a ton of other stuff I never did.”

“What was your favourite thing to do?”

Gabrielle thought for a moment before responding, “drama.”

“Drama? At camp?”

“Clearly you’ve never been to sleepaway camp,” Gabrielle joked, “but seriously, it was my favourite. I was really good at improv.”

“My little bard,” Xena crooned, and Gabrielle felt herself flush and her heart race as the words flowed through familiar channels in her memory. She mouthed them to herself once, testing them on her own tongue before determining, _I think she used to call me that back when…_

“My Warrior Princess,” she responded automatically, and Xena stopped and looked over her shoulder, her eyes a startling shade of blue.

“Sweetheart,” Xena whispered, almost as though it were a question.

Gabrielle nodded wistfully, _that, too._

She held her soulmate’s gaze for a moment, searching her own memory for any more familiar terms of endearment, but coming up empty. _Maybe we just didn’t have that many._

Disappointed but determined to come up with a new pet name in the future, Gabrielle tried to lighten the mood, “so can I carry the bow for a while?”

Xena hesitated, and appeared ready to begrudgingly and anxiously say yes when Gabrielle rubbed her arm and reassured her, “just kidding.”

Nodding gratefully, Xena turned and started walking again, and Gabrielle followed, the _stamp_ of their footsteps falling in sync after a few moments. She was content to listen to the sounds of the mountain for a while, and occasionally call out every _rustle_ of a bird that she heard, just to prove her point, before her mind started to get away from her.

 _What if this is actually_ distracting _us more than it is keeping us alert?_

Something in Gabrielle’s mind told her that bringing up the god of war’s name could be dangerous, but she burned to know whether or not Xena already had some kind of a plan to stop him.

“Hey, Xena, what sound do you think Ares’ll make when he shows up? Or will he already be waiting?”

“I don’t know,” Xena answered, “but I’ve always been able to tell when he’s around,” her eyes darting from left to right, she mumbled quietly, “and after last time, I’ll know what to look for.”

The darkness in her voice startled Gabrielle, and she copied her actions, scanning the landscape even more intently than before. The surrounding area seemed calm, but the chill in the air was still wicked, and Gabrielle could make out heavy clouds looming ahead. _So much for that sunrise._

She marched on, keeping time with Xena’s pace and feeling the pressure on her shoulders increase with each passing moment as she drew closer and closer to danger.

Maybe it’s the elevation, she tried unsuccessfully to convince herself, _I’ve never been this high before… or maybe not._

Now that she was able to hear the things that Xena heard, she felt that she should take more responsibility in keeping them safe. _But I still can’t fight- well, maybe that’s not true._

Remembering how she had been able to subdue Damon after Xena’s tournament, Gabrielle hoped that there was a warrior instinct somewhere in her.

 _If I could remember how to do that much,_ and _how to make love to Xena, I should remember how to fight… but how to fight a god? How do I trigger_ that _skill set in the moment? And even though I believe that it can, I just don’t understand how love is supposed to help us._

The sky above her grew darker and darker, and a strange haze of confusion and doubt settled in over her, almost as though spiders were spinning webs between the spaces in her mind. Although she kept moving at the same pace, she felt sluggish and dizzy, in a way that was far too familiar. _It’s almost like how I felt when… when…_

“Gabrielle, there’s something I have to tell you,” Xena’s words interrupted Gabrielle’s musings, and the blonde raised an eyebrow in questioning before remembering that Xena couldn’t see her from behind.

“What is it?”

“Last night, I had a dream about Ares.”

_Why is she telling me this now?_

Initially, the robotic nature of Xena’s voice struck Gabrielle as strange, but then a wave of dread washed over her mind as her thoughts ran away from her, imagining what sorts of images and experiences the god of war had subjected Xena to, in a world of dreams where she couldn’t be protected.

“What happened?” Gabrielle asked, her voice uncharacteristically flat as she tried to detach herself from the possible horrors that could come with the truth.

_I can’t believe he’d do that. He’s not supposed to be a threat until we get to the top- and he can just walk in and out of her dreams like that while I’m asleep; it’s not fair-_

“He tried to seduce me,” Xena answered simply, and Gabrielle felt her eyes brimming with tears.

The haze in Gabrielle’s mind intensified as Xena kept talking, the spiderwebs spinning thicker and leaving her increasingly disoriented until something inside her snapped, and her skin grew hot with anger to the point that she couldn’t feel the cold outside.

_Of course he did. And she let him do it. She always did have a soft spot for him. Anything for Ares._

“He offered me a way out,” Xena continued, “in a way, he offered both of us a way out of this fight with Alti and with Dahak.”

Xena’s matter-of-factness was even more infuriating; her casual demeanor made it seem as though a nightly visit from Ares was nothing unusual.

 _Has this been happening since we left? Before then? Was everything she said about them being over a lie? And what about our fight against_ him _? Is she so wrapped up in him that she’s forgotten about his plan to_ kill _us?_

She still felt the weight of insecurity deep in the pit of her stomach, and remained silent. If she wasn’t quiet, she thought, she was liable to scream or cry or hurl accusations. _Or maybe just hurl._

A suffocating sensation began to close in on her, and she quickly attributed it, too, to the elevation.

“Then he threatened me,” Xena continued, her voice much less confident, “threatened _us._ He told me that if I left you to be with him, he would stop Alti. And if I didn’t, he’d kill us.”

“Is that all it would take?” Gabrielle’s voice remained eerily monotone as her mind raced chaotic with fury and fear, and she gradually became more and more unsure of the meaning of her own question.

_Would it just take the promise of one act of heroism to send her back to him?_

Resentment built up in her, from a source that she couldn’t quite place, its blackness seeping into her soul unchecked as angry tears began to fall from her eyes.

_Isn’t that just like Xena? Take the easy way out. It doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter what I want. I’m not even a part of the decision! Who cares what happens to me? It’s all about Xena! All Ares wants is Xena! All Alti wants is Xena! I’m just here to keep her alive until something better comes along to take her from me! Because I’m always second best!_

She heard Xena say something but couldn’t make it out amidst all the noise in her own head; and it was as if Xena’s voice was coming from far off in the distance, or from the inside of a glass case. _All she’d have to do is…_

“You go ahead and go, Xena! Just like you always do!” Gabrielle screamed suddenly, feeling as though she should be put out by the malice in her own voice, but pushing those feelings to the side and instead finding satisfaction in it.

Xena turned around, her face flickering dizzyingly back and forth between hurt confusion and cold defiance, her eyes clouded with concern or contempt from moment to moment.

Her body so hot she could swear her heart was boiling in her blood, Gabrielle shook her head in an attempt to clear her vision, and felt a caress like the flickering of a flame on her cheek, instantly heightening her senses.

_“It feels good, doesn’t it? Letting out all that anger. All that pain. Especially after all this time.”_

She couldn’t tell if the voice was coming from inside her head or from any direction around her, but it enveloped her completely, taunting, _“come on, Gabrielle. Quit holding back. Release everything you’ve got trapped inside you. She’s screwed you over, bad. You don’t have to take it… You don’t always have to be the goody two-shoes.”_

All at once, the familiarity of the voice and of her intense emotion struck her: _Ares._

Fighting his influence, she opened her mouth, gritting her teeth as she spat, “get out of my head,” unsure whether she had whispered it or screamed it.

_“If that’s really what you want.”_

An impulse like lightning shot through her chest, and her anger evaporated, leaving her skin feeling dry and cold, and her mind overwhelmed with paranoia. Without Ares to channel the fear he had created into fury, she felt threatened and exposed. Even as she fought to be rational, her heart pounded against her chest faster and faster until she ran towards the still-vague outline of the one thing that was familiar to her: Xena.

Sprinting, she crashed into her, clutching onto her as if her life depended on it.

“You can’t leave me,” she cried, hysterical, “not again! I can’t take it; I’d die, Xena, I’d kill myself; you can’t leave me, I need you!”

The shock in Xena’s eyes was nearly lost on her as she made contact with her skin and felt her body tingling with the sensation of old memories pouring in: rain, rain so violent it soaked her through almost instantly, a fountain bathed in sunlight, then its fading rays over another mountain even farther east, the chakram in her hand, Xena’s voice and Xena’s image slowly disappearing, and finally pain.

The pain that coursed through Gabrielle’s heart was unlike any pain she had even thought possible before. It was as though not only her body, but her soul was being split in two, and when the loneliness hit her, she had no defence against it, and could only be pummelled by its crushing emptiness.

She choked on the bitter taste of seasickness and gasped halfheartedly for air.

 _There’s no end to it,_ she acknowledged listlessly to herself, _it just goes on. They were wrong. You can never move past the pain._

“Gabrielle!” Xena’s voice rose up above the past, and Gabrielle tried desperately to follow the sound until the images faded and only a dull ache was left in her chest.

Her eyes focused and Xena’s face came into view, terror written across her features as her forehead wrinkled and her mouth hung helplessly open.

_Why is she all wet?_

Gabrielle looked up at the sky and saw that the clouds had opened up over them, but hardly cared. She felt as though she’d lived through another lifetime in the span of a few seconds.

 _Or has it been minutes? It doesn’t matter… I_ did _live another life- just another one of mine._

She didn’t care that freezing rain pelted through her coat, her flannel, and her shirt, and she watched Xena splutter as the fat drops soaked into her hair and ran down to the plateau of her lips. She realised that she had been lowered to the ground and her backpack had been removed as she lay in Xena’s lap, cradled in a way that felt both familiar and foreign to her.

“Gabrielle, can you hear me?”

Gabrielle could hear her, but she wasn’t listening; she was too concentrated on holding onto what she had just seen, what she had just experienced, and on blinking away the rain that slipped into her eyes, so when she finally found her voice, all she could manage was, “you left me. I _loved_ you and you _left_ me.”

Xena looked down at her as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “I would never leave you, Gabrielle. I told Ares I wouldn’t do it; didn’t you hear me? I told him I’d never leave you, that you’re the love of-”

“ _No,_ Xena!” Gabrielle choked hoarsely, “you told _me_ you’d never leave me! And then you let yourself _die_! You _lied_ to me!”

Gabrielle clenched her eyes shut and burst into a fit of sobs so harrowing that she didn’t notice the sudden distance in Xena’s eyes, nor the uncharacteristic limpness of her touch, and was only distracted from her misery when she felt Xena’s forehead press against hers.

She opened her eyes and watched a tear slide down the bridge of Xena’s nose, and onto her own cheek, followed by another, and another, and then Gabrielle stopped crying, the instinctive longing to heal her soulmate overriding her grief.

She was consoled long enough to hear Xena croak, “I’m so sorry, Gabrielle,” then brought her hands up to cup her soulmate’s cheeks, and tilted her face until blue melded into green.

Xena was shaking as she leaned over her, her eyes empty, and her voice trembling as she breathed, “I thought I was doing the right thing… I thought it was the only way…”

The unintentional bitterness in Gabrielle’s words stung like a viper as she said, “you always could have found other ways-”

“I know,” Xena sobbed, nodding her head and pressing into Gabrielle once more, “I know.”

_We always find a way, don’t we? Isn’t that part of who we are?_

Xena spoke again, guilt coating her words, “Every time I thought you were too sensitive about us… about my history with the team… about Ares… about _everything_ … I didn’t know it was my fault… How could your soul have remembered when mine didn’t? Why was yours afraid while mine wasn’t even guilty? I _destroyed_ us. I destroyed the only good thing-”

A catch in Xena’s voice cut her off, and she cried so hard that Gabrielle could feel the rumbling in her chest, so that she could feel her sorrow.

 _She remembers,_ Gabrielle told herself, trying to sort out rationally the best course of action, _we_ both _remember. And she’s sorry._

As she grieved with her soulmate, Gabrielle knew that she should forgive her, especially for something that happened so long ago, but as she opened her mouth to do so, a kind of jealousy came over her, a greed that she had never felt before.

“Tell me you shouldn’t have done it,” Gabrielle said, her voice shaky, but certain, “tell me you’ll never do it again, no matter what.”

_I know that this is wrong… I can’t ask her to do this for me… but I couldn’t live not knowing where I stand._

Xena pulled back and met her eyes, and Gabrielle searched her face for the truth. She watched her lips part, and let out a slow exhale as she heard her start speaking, her voice low and gravelly, “I shouldn’t have done it. You’re the best thing in my life. You always have been and you always will be… And now that I’ve done it once… Made the worst mistake I ever could…” She trailed off a moment and closed her eyes, then opened them to reveal a new, fierce intensity, “I’d let the world burn if it meant I got to be with you.”

The rain stopped as if someone had turned off a faucet, and the listless haze lifted from Gabrielle’s mind. The ache in Gabrielle’s chest vanished, replaced by a new feeling, a pull like that of a magnet.

She looked first at the sky, which remained grey, but seemed much less ominous, and then at Xena. The pull in her chest subsided, and she let her eyes wander once more, this time towards the mountain over Xena’s shoulder. As the pull returned, she heard a voice whisper as if it were coming from inside her own head, _“don’t let her forget.”_

Her brow furrowed in confusion as she tried to place where she’d heard the voice before.

 _It wasn't Ares,_ she concluded immediately, relieved, _but I don’t know who it_ was _._

She glanced back at her soulmate and felt her chest relax. _What if this is-?_

“Xena? You know that thing you feel when you’re away from me?”

Her voice came hoarse from her lips as she spoke, and when Xena answered, hers was equally so, “yes. I never felt it stronger than I did while you were-”

“Do you feel it right here?” Gabrielle pressed a few fingers to her own sternum, and Xena nodded.

“I think I can do it now, too. I can use it to find you. To feel you.”

Xena blinked in acknowledgement of the new development and licked her lips, uncertainty in her eyes as she said, “are we… going to talk about what just happened? With the rain? And with-?”

Gabrielle nodded back, reluctantly amused at the irony of Xena asking to talk, and bitterly replied, “Ares. And something else.”

Xena kept nodding as though she were stuck in perpetual motion, bobbing her head up and down in a constant rhythm until she found her words, “I know. He's more resourceful than I thought; I never imagined he'd use you..."

“Me neither,” Gabrielle answered, still feeling violated, as if her mind and her heart had been permanently compromised.

“Gabrielle, can you… can you _really_ forgive me for-?”

“Shh, Xena,” Gabrielle placed a light touch on her cheek and smiled sadly, but surely, “I don’t remember everything that happened back then, but it’s in the past- the _ancient_ past. You’re here now and you’re not going anywhere, and that’s all that matters.”

The certainty in Xena’s voice when she said she’d let the world burn still rang fresh in Gabrielle’s mind, and she hesitated a moment before asking, “did you mean what you said earlier when-?”

“Yes,” Xena interrupted before she could finish, “all of it.”

Gabrielle stared deep into Xena’s eyes and felt suddenly older.

_Seeing Xena die in the future was one thing; it wasn’t so set in stone, but watching her die in the past…_

A snowflake landed in Xena’s bangs, a tiny white fleck standing out against a raven backdrop, and both pairs of eyes turned skyward and watched as a light flurry began to fall over the mountaintop, then turned back towards each other.

“It was snowing in our dream.” Xena said plainly, and Gabrielle nodded curtly and shivered, almost wishing the sky would go back to rain.

 _No,_ she gently discouraged herself, _the rain was Ares. You can’t hold onto that anger anymore._

“I love you, Xena,” she whispered, comforted by the familiarity of the words, and by the quiet acknowledgement that, no matter what happened, they would always be true. She took a moment to put her backpack on again, watching out of the corner of her eye as Xena readjusted the arrows slung around her hip.

Straightening up, Gabrielle noticed Xena’s left hand extended towards her.

“Don’t you need that to hold your bow?”

Xena shook her head, “I love you, Gabrielle,” and seamlessly slipped their fingers together.

The wind sliced at the back of Xena’s throat as she panted, her legs plowing through the slowly-accumulating snow as she half-dragged Gabrielle behind her. A feeling of lightheadedness engulfed her mind, and made her dizzy and disoriented, but the warmth of her soulmate’s hand in hers kept her moving forward.

The landscape all around her made it seem as though the universe existed only in grayscale, and the mountain was merely a memory preserved in an old photograph. Every so often, she stole a glance back at Gabrielle just to remind herself that there were still colours in the world, something other than grey sky, white ground, white snow, and, recently, black spots.

_Damn it, black spots…_

Her and her soulmate’s shortness of breath wasn’t lost on her as she pushed forward, determined to reach the top of the mountain before the sky went dark with unadulterated night, and she lost all sense of safety.

_No way we can fight him in the dark; he’d have knowledge of the terrain, a predetermined strategy, and, by any chance, unobscured vision._

She held her bow tightly in her right hand, squeezing it in anticipation. Although she knew she was marginally more vulnerable with her weapon one step away from ready, she’d decided that she’d rather be exposed and comforting her girlfriend than safe and forcing her to walk alone.

 _And things are gonna be different this time,_ she told herself with cautious optimism as the incline of the barely-worn path caused her legs to burn in protest, _things_ have _to be different this time._

And judging from her dream, she noted, things already _were_ different; flecks of snow whipped ruthlessly at her face, leaving icy sensations like pinpricks everywhere they touched her, unlike the calm after the storm she’d experienced unconsciously before.

She blew a snowflake off of her lip in order to relieve herself of its freezing burn, _this is definitely_ not _helping me keep watch._

Her senses were on high alert, but, much to her irritation, the only audible sounds amidst the silence of the snow were her own breathing and footsteps, and those of her soulmate. She strained frustratedly against the quiet, trying to surpass her own capabilities, _I have to hear him. I have to be ready._

For the first time, she found silence maddening, and the mental strain of constant anxiety beat her down much more effectively than any physical exertion ever could. The moment something finally did change, she picked up on it instantly, and, for an instant, felt only relief at a break in the monotony: Xena heard Gabrielle’s breathing change. Gradually at first, and then all at once.

Dread filled her as she remembered the last time she’d heard Gabrielle breathe like that, on the soccer field in the early morning when she was completely spent and pleading to stop and go home.

 _Please just be about to sneeze,_ Xena silently begged as she took another step forward, feeling a greater resistance on her arm. _Goddamn it._

Gabrielle had stopped, and Xena had to stop with her. As she turned around, squinting into the glare of the snow behind her and wincing as icy crystals buried themselves in her hair and stung the back of her neck, she was finally able to feel the cold seeping through her skin and into her bones.

“Come on, Gabrielle, we’ve got to keep moving,” Xena said through the stillness, gripping her soulmate’s shoulders and shaking them, but Gabrielle didn’t move.

The blonde stood panting with her hands on her knees, her cheeks bright red and her lips tinged with blue.

Glancing back over her shoulder, Xena noticed the sky darkening again over the ice-capped mountain peak that had been the north star they’d been following since it came into view.

 _It’s that delay we had with the rain and with Ares,_ she cursed the god silently, _and this storm was supposed to be over by now…_

A flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye startled her, and then she was momentarily relieved to see that it was just Gabrielle turning her head.

 _No, still not good,_ Xena noted nervously in her mind as she picked up on the blonde’s hopeless expression.

Gabrielle shivered in front of her, then swayed, and Xena kept her body steady and cupped her cheek with her hand, urging, “don’t look back; we’re almost there. Remember what happened when we stopped here in our dream? We have to get to the cave as fast as we can; Ares will be expecting us to stop here before we can get to-”

“Okay,” Gabrielle interrupted, a tear running down her cheek as she nodded determinedly.

“Alright,” Xena responded, smiling a moment to reassure her girlfriend, “I love you.”

“I love you,” Gabrielle repeated, shooting her the same smile back, and Xena placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

_By the gods, her lips are so cold._

When she pulled back, she saw Gabrielle’s eyes glowing green in contrast with the redness of her still-teary eyes, eyes filled with such love and pain that Xena could hardly stand to turn away.

 _Alright,_ Xena encouraged herself before taking Gabrielle’s hand securely in her own again and marching forward, _alright._

Adrenaline coursed through her mind as she moved away from the place where they’d stopped, the same place, she was almost certain, where she’d been killed in a different future.

_No Ares. We stopped and no Ares. It’s alright. It’s gonna be alright._

Even as she reassured herself, emotions overwhelmed her as the electric pull of the chakram surged through her body. She tried to convince herself that her rapidly increasing heart rate was just excitement, not fear, but as her heart felt as though it was vibrating in her chest, she knew that the chakram had to be close. _The cave has to be close._

The snow had beaten her cheeks raw, and she wanted nothing more than to be out of the storm.

Increasing her pace until she was moving at just under a run, she crested the top of the hill just before her and felt her heart skip a beat as she took note of a tiny, black opening in the mountain before her. However, as she moved closer, and the cave didn’t appear any bigger, her stomach lurched and her hope disappeared. _That’s a small cave…_

She stopped in her tracks, nauseated and out of breath, and felt Gabrielle run into her from behind, then heard her soft whimper of surprise.

“Xena,” Gabrielle panted, working her way around her and pulling on her arm, “that’s got to be the cave; come on, we have to go.”

A tidal wave of paranoia swept over Xena's mind all at once as her lungs worked on overdrive. Her feet planted firmly in the snow, she protested wildly, almost incoherently, "I can't go in there. Gabrielle, it's... I'm too... It's too small; I can't do it, I-"

Nausea gripped her once more, followed by a spell of dizziness, and gripping onto her soulmate's forearms was all she could do to remain upright. _I can't. I can't. I can't._

“What? Xena, slow down,” concern filled Gabrielle’s eyes as she stared at her soulmate, clearly trying to make sense of what she was saying, “you don’t want to go in because it’s-?”

“I _can’t_ go in,” Xena hissed, her cobalt eyes wild with fear, “it’s too small and I’m… I’m-”

“Afraid of small spaces!”

A voice carried over the wind from somewhere up ahead, churlish and mocking.

Xena’s head snapped up immediately and turned towards the noise that dulled her cave anxieties, but made realised her fears of a surprise attack. _Son of a bacchae. We were so close and now it’s all my fault…_

Her heart sank as she let go of Gabrielle’s arms, hastily readying her bow and nocking an arrow, aiming in the direction from which the voice had come. Gabrielle stood just behind her, fists clenched at her side as she stared, terror in her eyes, over the ridge.

“Xena: Warrior Princess,” Ares taunted as he walked into view, wearing his trademark black leather vest, heavy boots, and thick pants, and Xena fired at him immediately.

He caught the arrow effortlessly, regarding it with an air of amusement before snapping it with one hand, tossing it over his shoulder, and continuing his singsong mocking, “Xena: Destroyer of Nations.”

Desperately, Xena fired another arrow and Ares gave it the same treatment he had the first.

“Xena: Slayer of Gods is _claustrophobic_!”

Xena fired a third arrow, and, with a flourish, Ares used his powers to stop it mid-air, then let it fall uselessly to the ground at his feet. He let out a boisterous, cruel laugh and jeered, “what happened, Xena? Did you get stuffed into a jar when you went from a hot piece of ass to a hot pile of ash? Must have been awfully tight in there…”

A shiver ran down Xena’s spine as the tendons in her neck strained at the hazy memory of total darkness and a lack of air, and she took on a steely expression to hide her embarrassment.

“So when you ran off the plane…” Gabrielle whispered beside her as though she’d been suddenly struck by some glorious clarity, and Xena nodded curtly, subtly nocking a fourth arrow.

Ares rolled his eyes, “maybe you used to be a seasoned warrior,” he flicked his hand, and Xena watched helplessly as her bow flew out of her hands, “but now,” he willed the arrows in Xena’s quiver to follow her bow, scattering across the mountain peak about ten metres away, “you bore me.”

Now, nothing stood between her and Ares but Gabrielle, and nothing stood between Gabrielle and Ares but herself.

 _I have to buy us some time,_ Xena’s mind reeled as she tried to think of a diversion.

She watched as Ares glared down at her his eyes filled with lust and contempt, and inspiration struck. _That’ll work._

“What do you mean, _used to be,_ ” she purred, taking a step forward so that she better shielded Gabrielle, “don’t forget you taught me to fight in this life, too- and since I left you, I think it’s safe to say I’ve gotten better.”

Ares smirked patronizingly, but with the unmistakeable glint of interest close behind the heartlessness of his eyes, “you want to fight me hand-to-hand? I’m the god of war, Xena! You can’t win!”

_Alright, it bought us about three seconds…_

He brought his hand up as if he were going to deliver that life-ending beam when Gabrielle interjected, stepping up to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Xena, “I disagree!” she shouted, clearly struggling to get the words out over her frozen lips, “you didn’t see her fight in her last tournament! Nobody beat Xena then, and I don’t think you could now.”

Xena grabbed Gabrielle’s wrist, trying to subtly tell her to stop talking.

_He told me he’d kill her first and she’s only making herself more of a target…_

“ _Gabrielle_ -”

“You like deals, don’t you?” Gabrielle continued, and the god of war’s eyes once again betrayed a heightened degree of interest, “why don’t I make a deal with you?”

_Gabrielle, don’t!_

Staring in shock at her soulmate, Xena tried to shake her head.

The blonde gave her a sideways glance just as Ares responded, “I’m listening. Name your terms.”

Gabrielle’s eyes flicked back forward, “you and Xena fight- a fair fight, no powers- and if you win, you can kill me and keep Xena. But if you lose, you agree to leave us alone, and you have to break with Alti.”

“ _Gabrielle,_ ” Xena whispered urgently, “you’re betting _me_?”

“I’m betting both of us,” Gabrielle answered confidently, “and don’t worry about it. Remember, he can’t win. Love will save us.”

Hardly able to believe what she was hearing, Xena hissed, “yes, in _theory_ , but we don’t have any idea what that means in any practical setting yet!”

“Just trust me,” Gabrielle pleaded, “I’ve got a good feeling about this, and it’ll at least buy _me_ some time to-”

“Deal!” Ares shouted, a slimy grin on his face as he swaggered forward to square up with Xena, “I didn’t know you let her _speak_ for you now, too.”

Xena closed her eyes and felt twin pulls in her chest, one from her chakram and one from her soulmate. _I trust you, Gabrielle._

She opened her eyes, directing a soft gaze at her soulmate, then blue steel towards the god of war, deadpanning “she’s always been better with words.”

She looked to the side and saw Gabrielle give her a loving, grateful stare, then stood with her feet apart and hands raised in her fighting stance. Ares raised his fists and wiggled his eyebrows twice at her before taking the first swing.

Nearly caught off-guard by Ares’ speed, Xena narrowly dodged his blow and used his momentum against him, pushing his arm past her with her left hand before landing a hard punch to his kidney with her right hand. _Almost forgot how to fight people who know what they’re doing._

She ducked an elbow aimed towards her head, then used her legs to propel herself upwards, adding power to a right cross to Ares’ chin.

For a moment, she thought she had the upper hand, but then her foot stuck to the snowy ground, preventing her from taking the necessary step back. _Son of a-_

Ares landed a quick hit to her stomach, followed by a kick to the side of her head, and she felt herself stumble out of control for a moment before she regained her footing. _Fuck._

Her head throbbed in pain as she stared up at the god, and she narrowed her eyes before rushing in, rhythmically throwing and blocking punches that did nothing to advance either fighter’s progress.

“You _are_ good,” Ares panted, grinning, “but I could still make you better.”

He swung off-rhythm and nearly took Xena by surprise.

More by instinct than on purpose, Xena caught his fist and twisted his arm around behind his back, “I don’t think so.”

She heard him scoff, then noticed the muscles in his neck tense. He jerked his head back, and she avoided the headbutt by launching herself upward, completing a somersault while airborne and letting out a shrill, trilling cry.

 _That’s new,_ she remarked to herself upon landing, then noted the sound’s familiarity on her tongue and shrugged, _sort of._

She turned to face her opponent again, and was confused, then enraged to find his back to her. It took her a moment to understand what was happening, but once she did, she felt an all-too-familiar mixture of adrenaline and rage swirling in her chest.

“That’s not part of the bargain!” she shouted at the god of war as he held her soulmate by the wrists.

The blonde struggled against his grasp and glared up at him, her emerald eyes layered with fear and defiance and her lip curling with disgust.

“ _I_ didn’t break the rules,” Ares snarled, satisfaction thick in his voice, “ _she_ did! Your chew toy decided she wanted to be the attack dog for a change.”

He jerked his head towards Xena’s bow, which now lay at Gabrielle’s feet in pieces, a new arrow nocked to the mangled string.

 _Damn it, Gabrielle. It was_ almost _a good plan._

The god of war shifted his grip from Gabrielle’s wrists to her throat, and lifted her into the air as easily as if she were a doll, “the bargain’s off.”

Xena watched her soulmate gasping for air and felt the pull in her chest intensify more than she’d ever experienced before. Blindly, she abandoned all forethought and strategy, propelling herself forward in a series of acrobatics she could hardly keep track of in her mind, and that she hadn’t realised she had performed until she landed right behind Ares and prepared to jab her fingers into his throat the way she had Gurkhan’s. _If it worked once…_

Before she could get her hands in position, Ares flung Gabrielle out in front of him, and she landed motionless in a snowbank with a harrowing _crack._

“ _Gabrielle!_ ” Xena screamed, her voice cracking when she still didn’t get up after several seconds, and she couldn’t tell if she was moving.

_There may be snow on the ground, but beneath that’s solid rock-_

Her attention was quickly diverted as Ares landed a blow on her jaw, jarring her enough that she stepped back in a daze. The world spun around her as pain seared through her jawbone and her neck, and she felt Ares’ hands on her shoulders, pushing her back towards the cave over and over again while she stumbled helplessly in the snow.

_Is he going to-?_

“You know the best part about this, Xena?” Ares spat as he pushed her, “since your irritating little blonde broke _our_ bargain, _my_ deal with Alti is still on. I get to kill you in this life and love you in the next- and, frankly, I don’t know which I’m going to enjoy more.”

“ _No,_ ” Xena whispered, “ _Gabri-_ ”

She was cut off as Ares hit her on the other side of the head and dropped her to her knees, growling, “ _stop_ saying her name! She can’t help you! I am going to kill you, Xena! Don’t you understand that? She can’t save you! You can’t save her!”

Xena was seeing three of Ares and not listening to any of them as she glanced desperately over all of their shoulders to stare at her soulmate. A glimmer of hope shone through her devastation when she saw Gabrielle gingerly and painstakingly beginning to pick herself up from the snowdrift, but was quickly snuffed out by another blow from Ares’ hand.

“You can’t win, Xena!”

Her back was now at the entrance of the cave, and her ears were ringing from the impact of the last hit. _He’s really going to kill us. The cave’s the perfect place to hide our bodies. We were wrong. We were wrong about everything…_

“You brought a _stupid_ bow and arrow, like _that_ was gonna do any good,” Ares sneered before roaring, “you can’t kill me! I am a _god_! And a pretty damn important god, at that! Look at the world, Xena. All that glorious chaos! Men with power _worship_ me, whether they know it or not. They _need_ me to be able to carry out their bombings, their massacres, their drone strikes, their terrorist attacks unchecked. They make offerings to me through their casualties, through their carnage. Thanks to them, I’m more powerful now than I’ve ever been. They’re the new warriors, Xena- more reliable, more ruthless- and you’ve gone out of style.”

Ares stared down at her and raised his hand to deliver what Xena knew would be the killing blow.

She closed her eyes, guilt tearing her apart as she realised that she’d be the first to die, despite what Ares had said, and Gabrielle would have to live without her again, even if it was just for a moment.

A single, disobedient tear rolled down her cheek as she offered up to her soulmate and to the universe like a prayer, “ _I love you, Gabrielle._ ”

She waited, hopelessness preventing her from bracing herself for the pain, but the blow didn’t come. Instead, she felt herself be shoved to the side from behind, and then the cold burn of snow on her cheek as she landed on her side on the ground.

A shrill, unhinged shriek came from above her, and she opened her eyes in shock to see a whirlwind of wild blonde hair hurtling itself at a surprised-looking Ares.

His expression quickly turned to horror as Xena heard a distinctive _thud_ , and the snow beneath him was sprinkled with red spots.

“Men make war just fine these days without you,” an unmistakable voice said coldly, and the blonde twisted and pulled back her hand, revealing a bloodied dagger.

Ares fell to his knees and removed a blood-soaked hand from his chest, staring at it in disbelief, and then at the blonde in front of him. He coughed once, twice, spraying a thin dusting of blood into the air, and then collapsed, his empty eyes staring blankly at the sky above.

_How…?_

The blonde threw the dagger down and raced towards Gabrielle, then practically carried her through the snow before setting her down at Xena’s side.

Gabrielle whispered Xena’s name and pulled her up to her knees, hugging to her chest and placing soft, yet passionate kisses on her forehead and cheeks. Even as Xena responded to her soulmate’s affections with gentle, but equally fierce caresses, she kept her eyes fixed on her savior in apprehensive wonder.

She took in every detail of her as she stared down at them, from her disastrously messy hair to her bony frame clad in dark apparel, from her bloodied hands to the concerned wrinkles in her forehead, and, finally, to her deep brown eyes.

She knew those eyes, and yet she knew them not; in the depths of those brown irises where she had found nothing short of hatred in the past, and where she expected to find nothing less still, she saw nothing but love.

Xena stared up into the eyes of her onetime rival, the woman she had once even considered her enemy, and all her gratitude and all her confusion escaped into the open as she breathed in bewilderment, “Callie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to notes, part two!  
> Just to give everyone a bit of context for where we are in the story, I've been considering this point the end of "part one" of Intertwined since its inception, and want to let everyone know that the next chapter is going to be VERY different.  
> Xena and Gabrielle are going to get a little bit of a break for Chapter Ten, but then we'll go right back to normal. Chapter Ten won't be necessary to understanding the rest of the story, per se, but it will definitely enhance it, and, personally, I'm really, really excited about it and can't wait to share it with you!  
> Thank you again for sticking with me on this journey, and for your continued enthusiasm, support, comments, and kudos. You really are the driving force behind this story, and have been since the beginning, regardless of what I'd like to believe about any intrinsic motivation I may possess.  
> Sending love!
> 
> -Ky


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